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Google: 10 mil in 0.1s me: 0.1 in 10 mil years

@invertedgoogle / invertedgoogle.tumblr.com

Noragami, draws and writes sometimes, your one stop shop for all things Ebisu. Header: @ikis. Art tag: googledoodles; Analysis essays tag: invgoogle attempts analysis
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cute-catts
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drtanner

Love that you can see the cogs turning in the cat's head when its person is showing it how to pot the black. The cat is Looking and Understanding! And then it does it! Perfect little helper. 💜💜💜

Cats love to be Included in their human's activities. Kitty here has successfully participated in the Knock Balls Down Holes Game and feels very pleased about it.

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Can you do something for me, please?

I want you to reblog this if you believe that two people can be very close and physically affectionate with one another, but still have a completely nonsexual, non-romantic relationship. 

Even if the two people in question are capable of being sexually or romantically attracted to one another. 

Because the friendship I share with someone I consider family in a way that transcends blood has been typecast as a romantic relationship ENTIRELY too many times, and I’m beginning to get sick of it. 

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reblogged

woke up and someone spilled vanilla extract all over my dash, so as punishment you strange little beasties are getting all the VANILLA FACTS i know:

  • vanilla is the 2nd most expensive spice in the world (2nd to saffron)
  • which is why more than 99% of what we call "vanilla extract" is actually vanillin (vanilla's dominant flavor compound) and is not extracted from real vanilla.
  • luckily, even professionals struggle to tell the difference when it comes to things like baked goods. but there is a distinct difference in non-heat treated products like vanilla ice cream. real vanilla has a more complex, individualized flavor profile.
  • why is vanilla so expensive? because it is a ridiculously delicate & demanding crop. complete primadonna.
  • vanilla beans come from vanilla orchids. these crazy flowers bloom for A SINGLE DAY and have to be HAND-POLLINATED in a process that is exhausting, delicate, and requires specialist knowledge passed down over generations.
  • then, if you're lucky, you get vanilla beans.
  • which then require months of further specialized treatment.
  • the entire process takes about a year and can go wrong at any stage
  • vanilla has been cultivated for over 800 years (possibly much longer). the first known cultivators are the Totonac, an indigenous people of Mexico.
  • the Aztecs used it as a sweetener to balance out the bitter taste of cocoa. it was popular in a drink called xocolatl--the precursor to modern hot chocolate!
  • it is only pollinated by a very specific orchid bee!!!
  • which is why no fruit could be grown outside of Mexico until the 1800s
  • Edmond Albius, born into slavery, invented the pollination method we still use today--launching a global industry when he was just 12 years old.
  • today, the majority of the world's vanilla is grown in Madagascar
  • if you want real vanilla, read the labels carefully--it's harder to find than you think!

in conclusion, those tiny black specks you see in fancy vanilla ice cream? those are vanilla bean seeds! itty bitty orchid seeds!!! they are delicious and also a PRISSY BITCH!

(src)

Okay, but what about Saffron? Why is that more expensive?

ok i love saffron but it is a fucking CUNT look at this shit:

this is saffron. it's made up of tiny red threads. each of those threads?

  • THREE TO A FUCKING FLOWER.
  • it takes 75,000 flowers to make ONE POUND of saffron
  • do u see this field? do u see this fucking field?
  • this field will produce enough saffron to fit in a goddam...baggie? a basket? a smallish bucket, perhaps?
  • and did I MENTION
  • the harvesting has to be done BY HAND
  • are u
  • are u comprehending
  • the Bullshit, are u comprehending it yet?
  • can u imagine. having to sit over a pile of thousands of blossoms and pick each. motherfucking. thread. by hand.
  • and after hours and hours
  • (your joints aching)
  • (your fingers stained)
  • after hours of this nonsense, lo and behold! you have harvested--about a thimble full of fucking saffron
  • jesus wept and so should you

she's such a whore why do i love her

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reblogged

i watched My Neighbor Totoro for the first time, here's my chronological viewing experience:

  • woo-hoo! dusty old japanese house with japanese architectural details aplenty
  • these kids got some ENERGY my goodness
  • family dynamic's adorable. peak quality dad humor
  • kids: our house is haunted. parents: that's so cool!
  • hell yeah, wrinkled old lady rep. we need more friendly old women with potato faces and warts like storybook witches. the backbone of society, these ladies
  • Plot Summary: Small Child Bothers Local Wildlife
  • sacred tree sacred tree sacred tree
  • Introducing Totoro! nobody said this fucker's got TEETH???
  • Uh-Oh! Inadequate Parental Supervision Detected
  • (you misplaced your four year old! you're not supposed to do that)
  • 4-year-old: i met a magic forest spirit. dad: oh shit fr?
  • 4-year-old: *angrily hugs sister* missed u bitch
  • this small child has a smile like a toad. like a really really cute toad. like the cutest toad in all existence. i love her she's perfection please just let this child be happy
  • rice paddies are so pretty....so back breaking....rice is such a prissy crop
  • *my crush is stranded in a rainstorm* takethisumbrellait'syoursnowBYE *runs away in panic im so good at flirting*
  • Giant Chinchilla Learns To Hold Umbrella, Is Fucking Delighted By Experience
  • take this, it will help you on your quest! *hands u trail mix wrapped in a leaf*
  • LO-FI HIP HOP STUDY LIST!
  • crouching down to peer at dirt--A++ top notch foundational childhood experience
  • mom has a big ass forehead
  • honey! the chinchillas are performing Rituals in the backyard again
  • help yeah let's jack and the bean stalk this shit
  • huh so we're all just climbing aboard the giant chinchilla's tiddies now ok
  • class trip!
  • the pure adrenaline of Vegetable Gardening
  • no! the small child is crying! she is bawling her eyes out. no no no. i can't cope with this. emotionally i cannot cope 🥺🥺🥺
  • i've only had Mei one hour but if anything happens to her i will raze this earth and everyone on it
  • please someone make this small child smile again
  • oh no the tall child is crying too
  • i can't take this. my heart can't take this.
  • i need a drink
  • small child running determined to deliver magic veggies to the hospital. this kid is my hero
  • she is also unsupervised. so, so unsupervised
  • babe you are FOUR
  • godDAMMIT ghibli, you cannot give me watercolor sunsets while a small child is missing. u are killing me. my heart is giving out. this is me, experiencing heart failure.
  • Totoro to the rescue!
  • no wait CATBUS to the rescue!
  • i admit i initially thought the cat was a creep. alice in wonderland prejudiced me. i have revised my notions of smiling cats
  • i've decided the cat is a metaphor for the magic of a robust public transport system
  • MEI'S OKAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • and so is mom. she's a lovely lady im sorry for what i said about her forehead. it's a noble forehead.
  • happy ending YES bitch!!!!!!

ok. ok ok ok. that was magical.

(as a first-time adult viewer i was worried i wouldn't be able to Access the Magic. but i could and i did and it was incredible. that was culture. that was ART. joy distilled into animated form. holy rites of childhood. i understand now. how glorious, this world we grow out of. how full of marvels. i'm going outside to smell grass and sun and get dirt under my fingernails. miraculous.)

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reblogged

i watched My Neighbor Totoro for the first time, here's my chronological viewing experience:

  • woo-hoo! dusty old japanese house with japanese architectural details aplenty
  • these kids got some ENERGY my goodness
  • family dynamic's adorable. peak quality dad humor
  • kids: our house is haunted. parents: that's so cool!
  • hell yeah, wrinkled old lady rep. we need more friendly old women with potato faces and warts like storybook witches. the backbone of society, these ladies
  • Plot Summary: Small Child Bothers Local Wildlife
  • sacred tree sacred tree sacred tree
  • Introducing Totoro! nobody said this fucker's got TEETH???
  • Uh-Oh! Inadequate Parental Supervision Detected
  • (you misplaced your four year old! you're not supposed to do that)
  • 4-year-old: i met a magic forest spirit. dad: oh shit fr?
  • 4-year-old: *angrily hugs sister* missed u bitch
  • this small child has a smile like a toad. like a really really cute toad. like the cutest toad in all existence. i love her she's perfection please just let this child be happy
  • rice paddies are so pretty....so back breaking....rice is such a prissy crop
  • *my crush is stranded in a rainstorm* takethisumbrellait'syoursnowBYE *runs away in panic im so good at flirting*
  • Giant Chinchilla Learns To Hold Umbrella, Is Fucking Delighted By Experience
  • take this, it will help you on your quest! *hands u trail mix wrapped in a leaf*
  • LO-FI HIP HOP STUDY LIST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • crouching down to peer at dirt--A++ top notch foundational childhood experience
  • mom has a big ass forehead
  • honey! the chinchillas are performing Rituals in the backyard again
  • help yeah let's jack and the bean stalk this shit
  • huh so we're all just climbing aboard the giant chinchilla's tiddies now ok
  • class trip!
  • the pure adrenaline of Vegetable Gardening
  • no! the small child is crying! she is bawling her eyes out. no no no. i can't cope with this. emotionally i cannot cope 🥺🥺🥺
  • i've only had Mei one hour but if anything happens to her i will raze this earth and everyone on it
  • please someone make this small child smile again
  • oh no the tall child is crying too
  • i can't take this. my heart can't take this.
  • i need a drink
  • small child running determined to deliver magic veggies to the hospital. this kid is my hero
  • she is also unsupervised. so, so unsupervised
  • babe you are FOUR
  • godDAMMIT ghibli, you cannot give me watercolor sunsets while a small child is missing. u are killing me. my heart is giving out. this is me, experiencing heart failure.
  • Totoro to the rescue!
  • no wait CATBUS to the rescue!
  • i admit i initially thought the cat was a creep. alice in wonderland prejudiced me. i have revised my notions of smiling cats
  • i've decided the cat is a metaphor for the magic of a robust public transport system
  • MEI'S OKAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • and so is mom. she's a lovely lady im sorry for what i said about her forehead. it's a noble forehead.
  • happy ending YES bitch!!!!!!

ok. ok ok ok. that was magical.

(as a first-time adult viewer i was worried i wouldn't be able to Access the Magic. but i could and i did and it was incredible. that was culture. that was ART. joy distilled into animated form. holy rites of childhood. i understand now. how glorious, this world we grow out of. how full of marvels. i'm going outside to smell grass and sun and get dirt under my fingernails. miraculous.)

Final Thoughts:

  • Totoro has no external genitalia
  • though we don't know the specific biology of its species, this indicates:
  • A) Totoro is female, or
  • B) Totoro has been neutered.

given that Tortoro's gender is canonically unspecified, i must conclude:

Nonbinary Icon Totoro
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reblogged

zany to me how these um actually nihilists like to pretend that "um actually love/friendship/cooperation/kindness isn't real bc we evolved that way to benefit ourselves as a species..." um YES? that's also where tool use comes from? that's where cooking comes from? am i supposed to think social bonds & tool use & cooking aren't "real" because they evolved over time instead of appearing fully formed from the ether?

sorry u can't enjoy things. im a superior being twirling a fork in my bowl of delicious noodles whilst staring in adoration at the world

"love isn't real it's a chemical reaction" hon i got news for u about chemical reactions and the nature of existence. it's ALL chemicals. existence is literally all just chemicals. "we evolved social bonds to benefit ourselves" so you agree? you agree that social bonds are helpful and important enough that they literally shaped the history of human evolution? i do not think u are saying, what u think u are saying.

even the idea that “we evolved social bonds to benefit ourselves” is misleading in of itself tbh.

It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking species evolved different mechanisms to better survive by that’s putting the effect before the cause. a trait arose, and if they happened to be beneficial, then those with the trait lived longer and had more babies than those without it.

We didn’t choose to become kind *just* because it helped us survive. Some early humans (honestly it was probably basal primates or possibly even earlier ancestors) started helping each other at some point, maybe even without a purpose beyond the act itself. And guess what? It turned out that being cooperative led to increased survival among those groups, while the more hostile individuals failed to be as successful. And today we’re social animals because we are the descendants of people who valued friendship more than purely self-gain. Love won.

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So yesterday, I learned about the Seikilos epitaph.

Per Wikipedia and this much longer article from Antigone Journal, the Seikilos epitaph is a complete four-line Greek lyric poem. It was carved into a short marble stele sometime in maybe the 1st century CE, maybe the 2nd. The stele was then set, and later discovered, near the city of Tralles (close to modern-day Aydin, in Turkey).

Before the poem is a two-line couplet that can be translated as:

I am an image and a stone; Seikilos sets me up here As a long-lasting sign of undying memory.

--and then following the poem the name of the artist/author, either "Seikilos to Euterpe" or "Seikilos, son of Euterpres". In between those two points, though, is the poem itself, which I fucking love. A translation of it might read:

While you live, shine! Have no grief at all. Life exists only for a short while and Time demands his due.

--which tbh would be fabulous enough, but...

carved above the words

is musical notation.

The Seikilos epitaph is the record of a two-thousand-year-old song.

And like anything that's That Old, there's of course a fair bit of academic infighting regarding:

  • whether the stele is really a gravemarker or just the work of a silly lil guy going big with publishing his masterpiece;
  • whether it was really written as early (or as late) as people think, based on what seems to be Ye Olde Handwriting Analysis;
  • and even what the actual song would have actually sounded like, because the notation only tells us the pitch, duration, and movement of the sung line, and not, like, what's emphasized/stressed, the rhythm, the modulations, the scale--

But.

Unlike a lot of ancient music... we do have all the melody. And we have all the words. And so there are people out there who have come up with reconstructions and interpretations-- many of them sad, most of them sweet, all of them fitting for a tombstone...

And then there's this one. A live performance by YK Band, sung as a duet and played on a Tartessian lyre and frame drum. It starts with the simple melody as written on the stele, and then transitions to their version of how the song could, with just as much evidence as any other interpretation, have been sung...

And it's joyous.

I love this. It reminds me that history is amazing. People are amazing. Two thousand years later, and because of the time someone put in to writing these words, the craft of the worker who made the stele, the historians and the musicians and the linguists and the teachers who constantly search and test and try to understand what came before so that we can understand where we came from, who we once were and who we might be again, and put what they learn back out into the world--

Because of all of them, I can sit here, alone and quiet at my computer, and hear someone very, very far away call out a laughing reminder to the dark unknown:

while you live, shine!

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I wondered why green is so associated with hope and then I remembered being 8 and seeing a little plant sprout after a few days of waiting and. Yeah. I get it now.

As someone who's lived through devastating wildfires, I can say that seeing blades of grass sprout from ashy, barren land can bring you to tears.

Green is absolutely the color of hope.

It’s not even the hope that something will happen. Green is the color of growth that has already begun. It’s proof that there is hope for the hopeless. A sign that what you hoped for has already come to fruition.

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h0estar

can we talk about how so many of us practically grew up with noragami? many of us here are now adults who have liked this series since we were kids. we really stuck around long enough to see it through to the end. it's commendable, honestly. waiting in agony every month for whatever hell adatchitoka wanted us to go through was an experience in itself, and this comment made me chuckle thinking about it.

well, they weren't wrong! i have so much love for this series and the journey i had with it from start to finish. noragami is never leaving my heart and mind, and this sick empty feeling when a series i love ends will haunt me for the rest of my days. thank you for all these years. goodbye noragami <3

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reblogged

There's youtubers, there's great youtubers, and then there's Tom Scott who says "I'm going to fly off into the sunset now" and then attaches himself to a helicopter and does exactly that

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