lion hearted girl

       “I’m too old to start again.”

       “If we both stick to the story, they can’t prove anything.” 

                         ‘What is your problem, Silas?’ Well, wasn’t that the question of the century. In fact, the past two years had been so incredibly confusing and made of impulsive, out of the norm decisions… Silas wasn’t so sure who he was anymore. The blonde had been so used to doing things on his own— to only account for himself, that being caught in this kind of predicament can only mean one thing: he hadn’t changed. It happened with his mother, with his father, with Eden, Juliet, and Indi. Nothing rang truer than her first few words alone to remind him he hadn’t grown, that the past two years were just him fooling himself into thinking he was getting better. Words wouldn’t flow, so he just took it. Every glare and the ferociousness of her words couldn’t be met— it was impossible. He knew he was in the wrong, that was clear as day. Because, even though the matter hadn’t been out there for everyone to see, let alone, spoken out loud… they knew. Silas and Indi knew what was going on, and he couldn’t hide from that anymore. No longer could he hide behind confusion feelings and thoughts of ‘what ifs’. And so, he stands there with his hand on the door handle, nerves violently moving back and forth, as he raises his blue hues to meet her brown ones. He takes a moment before opening his mouth to speak, dropping his gaze for a moment before picking them up again. There was nothing to lose anymore. Nothing to save, nothing to protect. He hadn’t changed, so what was the point in keeping it all to himself? “I don’t know,” he finally speaks, voice soft, yet not fully awake. “I came to apologize… I just… I didn’t think you needed that anymore once I saw how happy you were.” The translation was clear as day: You are better without me. Silas knew they didn’t need any more ‘read between the lines’ moments, but it’s what felt safe. At least, right now… with what was left of them.

       “How happy I was?” She managed, her throat thick; her tone was strong but a little softer this time as realisation fell upon her. Now, she could’ve given him a million and one reasons why she wasn’t happy; why his perception of her was so flawed that, he missed the point. He missed the way she couldn’t stop thinking about him. He missed the glances she constantly threw his way, the way she looked for him in a crowd. She knew exactly what he meant — that she was better off without him, and her heart tightened at the thought of him feeling that way. She wanted so badly to convince him otherwise, that his thoughts were far from the truth. Because, if ever she felt any moments of pure or potential happiness, it was around him. “Silas..” Indi breathes with a furrowed brow, shaking her head incredulously, the frustration still simmering beneath all the confusion and piecing together to make sense of it all. Another hefty sigh escapes her core as she folds her arms across her chest now, profanity about to spill from her lips. “That’s utter bullshit, and you know it. You think you can just.. decide what’s best for me, but not once did you think to ask me what I want or need. —And by the way,” she removes one of her hands from her grasp, pointing at her chest to make a point, her tone of voice, again, a little louder. “I don’t need an apology from you. What I would like is an explanation.”  

It was only the small movement of her hands that brought him slightly out of his awed-like trance. “I — It’s..you’re just so beautiful.” He remarked upon her deep, shining eyes meeting his right then, a hand extending outward for one of hers to indicate it was alright, no way should Indi be the one embarassed. And as Luke watched her expression immediately happily ease once his gift came into near full sight, a relaxed smile immediately formed upon his own features. It seemed like it’d been a good choice. He wanted to do something significant, other than what was a date’s customary. After endlessly racking his brain, the ideas seems to flow perfectly when coming down to essentially blending what he knew about Indiana and her interests, the many shared between them, signifying that finally, their own chapters could begin. “I couldn’t forget. I — really?” Luke stopped, eyes widening as she mentioned it being the sweetest thing she’d ever received. “I mean, I’m definitely lucky to be the one to have done so.” He nodded. She deserved everything and more. “I’m really, really glad you like it.” Luke couldn’t help but smirk a bit at her question, shrugging. “Maybe.” He coyly stayed. More like learning how to even do flower pressing in the first place. “Guess I didn’t ruin the surprise after all.” Thankfully.

       Indiana’s eyes were shining now, her cheeks tinted a bright crimson as he calls her beautiful, her stomach alight with butterflies. “Thank you,” she managed, swallowing the rising lump in her throat. She felt a little.. insecure about dressing this way, going on a date with someone who was a friend to her first — considering she’d spent years removing herself from the dating pool. She’d been on a few dates since she swore herself off of trusting anyone wholeheartedly again, but none quite like this. Luke had a gentlemanly charm that was attractive to a girl like Indi, considering it was rare to find someone like that in a generation of fuck boys and non committal relationships. He made her feel important and valued and supported. Her fingertips trace the pressed flowers once more, memories of that afternoon coming to light as she remembers walking in on Silas and Luke — a shocking sight for the then Indi. Now, it all made sense, and she suddenly felt a tinge uncomfortable. But, she had to remember that she was on a date with Luke now, and that none of that should matter. He’d gone out of his way to make something lasting for her, and she loved it. Glancing up at him with beaming features, Indi couldn’t help but grin. “This is the best thing anyone’s given to me, Luke. I—Thank you.” She steps towards him then, hand resting gently atop his shoulder as she presses a kiss to his cheek, leaning back with a coy smile. “I’m gonna go put this inside, ‘cause I don’t want to ruin it and then I’ll grab my keys and we’ll go."

Juliet nods, making a mental note of the order before venturing into her kitchen, her tiny feet padding softly on the floor as she wandered over the cabinets, enjoying the way Indiana made herself right at home - grateful that was now their normal when for so many years it hadn’t been. “He uh - he came into work one night and we hit it off. And that’s not normally me but… then New Years came along and we just kind… escalated it? I was also pissed because I found Asher and Grace together and I just -” She blew out a breath, realizing she had grown more frustrated than intended, slowing her breathing and softening her tone of voice. “Anyways, it was really nice. And I think there’s something there.”

       “Hey, it doesn’t matter. He sounds amazing if he swept you off your feet in one night.. gotta give him credit for that.” As long as Juliet was happy, Indi was happy. She was protective of her own, always wanting to ensure those around the ones she loved treated them right. “As long as he’s treating you right.. no games or anything?” That was of upmost importance to her in terms of her cousin’s wellbeing. “—And, wait up.. you found Asher and Grace together? Okay, now I need to know more.” 

“Yes.” Charlotte replies right away, not bothering to lie to her best friend because she knew Indi could read her like a book. “Some days are worse than others,” She adds after a moment, “Like, I’ll wake up and the first thing that I’ll ask myself is if I really can do this——- if I’m ready to have a baby is going to be half Nathan when he’s not by my side.” Charlotte’s gaze drops to the cup of coffee in front of her. Her vision start getting blurry due to tears accumulating in the rims of her eyes, but she doesn’t shed them. “But then I remember that he is, even if I can’t see him.” The smallest of smiles pops into Lottie’s lips. “I know he’s watching over me and the baby, so that helps ease up my mind a bit.” Her smile grows a bit when she feels Indiana’s lips on her cheek once more. She realizes that talking about how she feels at the moment wasn’t nearly as scary as she thought it’d be, but that might be because she’s talking to someone closer to her. Charlotte unwraps her arms from around Indiana and leans backwards to get a better look at her friend’s face. “Thank you,” she murmurs, reaching out to give the brunette’s hand a gentle squeeze. “You have no idea how much it means to me to have you in my life in a moment like this.” Lottie takes a deep breath to try and calm herself down, as well as keep the tears at bay.

Cecily grinned at Indi’s question. “Well I would’ve thrown a huge party for you and invite everyone and have a grand ol’ time!” she answered. “If I missed your birthday, which I’m not.”

      “Oh, right. —Sorry,” she laughs, a little red faced at her sudden realisation. “My head space is kinda.. whack right now. But I’m definitely glad you made it.. I almost feel a little nostalgic right now? About New York?”