rb to wish Michael a happy birthday

the sexual tension between two gas stations on the same intersection

I’m so sick of this shit. Two gastations can’t even be on the same block without some walnut shipping them, while I can’t find a single fic for dennys/applebees with dennys bottoming.

you’re literally out of your mind if you think Dennys isnt a top

I wish the 2012 apocalypse actually happened

tom holland keeping it gender neutral (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

when people automatically assume ur straight just bc u haven’t said otherwise

there’s really no heterosexual explanation for this

Me at family gatherings

When you work at Lush and customer comes in and bites the soap because they think it’s cheese

this happens way more frequently than you think, i assure you

Well if you frickers stopped literally presenting soap as deli food maybe it wouldnt happen?

who goes into a bath store and thinks something covered in glitter is cheese

who goes to the store and just takes a bite from the cheese

me @ me

Technically speaking, you can live the rest of your life without eating.

Intuition is real. Vibes are real. Energy doesn’t lie. Tune in.

“Truth or dare?” “Dare.” “Order me a pizza.”

I HAVE BEEN BLIND TO THE POSSIBILITIES

can i jsut say… isnt it insane that polar bears go underground like imagine just walking along with a shovel and u start digging a hole and a bear is in there

THEYRE JUST? THERE…. IN THE SNOW

the care bears always make fun of bedtime bear bc hes tired all the time and accidentally falls asleep but its only bc he stays up all night to make sure that everyone else sleeps well and to banish nightmares and protect people

I just died

1: “Oooh! I like your accent! Where are you from?”

2: [accented] “I’m Liberian.”

1: “My bad!” [whispering] “I like your accent. Where are you from?”

The last polar vortex was when Frozen came out. Frozen 2 is coming out this year and we get a polar vortex. Stop making Frozen movies, Pixar!