this is the funniest thing I’ve ever seen

Why does Batman only wear dark colors? Easy. Batman doesn’t want to get shot. Why does Robin only wear bright colors?

Easy.

Batman doesn’t want to get shot.

Me with the great gatsby except it’s true.

And award for the best character development ever goes to…

+bonus

Mickey and Ian’s characters have the best development and you can’t tell me otherwise. Not just in their relationship but in general they both grew the most out of all the other characters.

Three sailors are discussing their cargo

They are used to transporting goods and make a good living doing so, this time however they’ve been tasked with taking 300 boxes of penis shaped potatoes across the channel and they all think it’s a joke.

“We’ll be a laughing stock” says the first sailor.

“I’ll never be able to live it down” says the second.

“Let’s tell the captain that we’ve decided not to go” says the third.

Headstrong they head to the captains quarters to voice their displeasure and inform him of their decision.

The captain hears them out but ultimately disagrees and informs them that they’ll be going ahead with the journey.

“But we’ve got you outvoted 3 to 1” the sailors cried in unison.

“You fools” said the captain “you’re all forgetting one thing!”

“What’s that?” Exclaimed the sailors.

The captain stood tall and addressed them powerfully.

“That this isn’t a democracy…”

“It’s a dick tater ship!”

“I love you Ty, I love you!”

The scene that broke all our hearts 💔

Ty and Kit from The Dark Artifices series by @cassandraclare

Kit and Ty, Queen of Air and Darkness! Oh, my heart!

Illustration of Livvy in the ninth GHOSTS OF THE SHADOW MARKET story, THE LOST WORLD, by me and Kelly Link. Art by @dibadavood. Book coming to bookstores in June!

A snippet:

“Boo!” she said, and Kit fumbled the mug, spilling liquid all down his pants.

“Livvy?” he said.

“That’s right,” she said, pleased. “You can see me. It gets really, really boring being invisible to everyone.”

“What are you doing here?” Kit said. Then, “Is he okay? Ty?”

I’m not your average skateboarder. I don’t “dress like a stoner.” I don’t “know how to skateboard.” I don’t “disrespect authority.” I’ve never “been on a skateboard.”

end of the year mood

filmed my boss firing me from my sales position

What.

Whatever I just heard, make it into a TV show

This is the greatest thing I’ve ever seen

florida is just like that

guess who’s back, back again - the list that no one cares about!! 2018 is THANK GOD finally ending so I want to look back at my favorite songs this year. So buckle up kids and let’s go down this list

DISCLAIMER: AGAIN that’s just my opinion and obviously these are not the only songs I enjoyed listening this year so chill. Also I chose one song per artist

10. MIXNINE Universe - Omona (OMG)

let’s look at this cute gif of my girlies before I get heated. I don’t wanna talk about MIXNINE situation all over again… BUT YG CAN ROT. I was actually suprised that this song didn’t get popular because it’s a JAM and you should listen to it right now.. Let’s wish all the best to everyone who has participated in this piece of garbage yg scam show

9. NCT 127 - Touch

yes, I’m a Touch enthusiast. Between all those sexy NCT songs this one was a breeze of fresh air. It’s such a heartwarming comeback, boys are happy and smiley, vocals are on point and THE CHORUS HITS HARD. To all of the Touch haters - y’all just can’t appreciate wholesome things BYE

8. Pentagon - Shine

yep what can I say I’m a basic bitch. We all know how addictive this song is, from the melody to the dance. I hope boys won’t flop in 2019 and that Hyojong will find his happiness

7. BTS - Airplane pt.2

we all can agree that BTS made 2018 their bitch, they basically owned it. Don’t get me wrong, I like Fake Love and I tolerate IDOL but THIS SONGGG is something else. The el mariachi spirits possessed me. And the iconic mic dance is well.. iconic. Also Jungkook vocals in this one should be illegal

6. EXO-CBX - Blooming Day

hey there! DON’T MOVE. sorry I’m a simple woman - I hear this song, I jam. In fact CBX outdone Exo this year YES I SAID IT. The melody, the vocals, the OOOH BABYYYY part and the choreo in dem suits. The whole album was perfect, please support CBX!!

5. Apink - I’m So Sick

I’m sooo happy to see my girls in a MATURE concept for WOMEN!! They’re sexy, they’re chick and they’re SICK of y’all sleeping on them. This comeback was a huge surprise to me but a very pleasant one. The song kinda reminds me of old kpop era. Certified BOP

4. SHINee - All Day All Night

Last year I hoped for more SHINee in 2018 and I got what I wanted… except I got enormously less at the same time…… The Story Of Light was a masterpiece, a rollercoaster of emotions. I’m so proud of the boys, proud of all of them. This song is a vocal heaven, the chorus knocks me off my feet EVERY GODDAMN TIME. And I had a hard time choosing between this one and a very special track Lock You Down

3. BoA - ONE SHOT, TWO SHOT

mother of kpop did it again. Everything BoA put out this year was amazing but this song has such a addictive hook it overshadowed the rest. QUEEN OF DANCE WENT OFF, did y’all see the choreo?? Wake tf up and stop sleeping on this bop sheeple!!

2. Red Velvet - Bad Boy

yes, the ultimate soft n smooth jam. Hands down one of the best RV eras. I want all of their outfits!! The mv is a win for the lesbian nation. The one and ONLY bad boy, RBB please perish

1. Sunmi - Siren

BOW DOWN TO THE QUEEN. I was really scared that Sunmi would not outdo Gashina but Me The Fool was happily wrong. The mv was gorgeous!! The 80s vibe, the outfits, the lyrics DAMN this song is perfect. Her whole album is fantastic LOOK IT UPPP. If I was jyp I’d be cryin everynight that I lost such a gem. Thank you Sunmi for our saviour Sirensus!!

And that’s it folks! What do I wish for 2019? Well last year I wanted a f(x) comeback and for Triple H not to be ruined soooo this year i’ll just shut up

last year list

queen of air and darkness snippet

Dru wrinkled up her nose. “I have to be the bad guy?”

“Come on,” said Kit. “You’ll get to boss us around. Don’t tell me you won’t enjoy it a little bit.”

She grinned. “Yeah, probably. Okay, deal. I’ll see you there.”

Kit turned to unlock the door and let himself out. Then paused. Without looking at Dru, he said, “I’ve spent my whole life lying and tricking people. So why is it so hard for me to lie to this one person? To Ty?”