kill the shift manager in your brain

you are not wasting time you are vibing. you are not being unproductive you are literally chilling. make a grill cheese with cheddar cheese and slather a piece of the bread with some honey and maybe you'll relax

Innes Keeper's Formula For Fantastic Grilled Cheeses (for nearly no extra spoons!)

Are you hungry? Do you have a hankering for grilled cheese sandwiches like, way more than a normal person maybe? Great news! I am about to give you the secret knowledge I stole, like Prometheus himself, from the Akashic Records—to bring back to Prudencia! And I’m even doing it without a ten hour long lecture about how the Akashic Records makes me think of idfk, 9/11, and how that relates to sandwiches.

I will, however, briefly say this: You gotta trust me when I say cooking grilled cheeses via this formula WILL grant you Bloodborne Insight. There is no fucking reason that making a grilled cheese this fucking delicious should be this fucking easy. I feel like I’m cheating God every time I do it because it takes (nearly) no extra spoons. And here’s where I show you why.

INGREDIENTS — SEASONINGS -butter, i usually use 2 or 3 tablespoons per sandwich -garlic cloves, I use 3 usually -a source of heat, like red pepper flakes, or szechuan peppers -a source of spice OR a source of sweetness, such as dijon mustard or honey. slather that motherfucker on a slice of your bread. -a source of herbiness, such as oregano, thyme, sage, rosemary, etc in any combination that goes well together or on its own. if someone tries to tell you that you need it fresh, they’re fucking lying, the 2$ crushed powdered sage is fucking great. experiment with other spices such as ground turmeric if you're spicy

INGREDIENTS - THE METAPHORICAL MEAT OF THE SANDWICH -two slices of bread per sandwich. this is actually a massive influence on your sandwich taste and texture as a whole. a basic white or wheat will still be fucking delicious because like I said, I stole this from the Akashic Records cookbook section and found it under “fucking perfect grilled cheeses forever”. However, if you CAN—getting bread like brioche, texas toast, brown bread, rye, or sourdough will make a sandwich already being elevated super easily to “pay 23 dollars at a fancy restaurant” level of elevation.

-one to three types of cheese per sandwich. you can get away with one type but really try for two or three if you can swing it. this is also one of those massive influences over the sandwich—listen, i know, that’s obvious, but stay with me—what matters isn’t the SPECIES of cheese, it’s the TYPE of cheese. getting the deli at your local Safeway or Walmart or whatever and asking for the cheese they gotta cut (or just in general the fancier, better-quality cheeses) is literally the only major requirement that I ask of you. If you are on SNAP/EBT programs, me too, and I promise you: Please do this. Please trust me when I say do not get the cheap Kraft-type cheese because it’s less money. I know it’s a bit extra but it’s only a bit to get like 1/4 or 1/3lb and you have no idea how much I’m actually getting a little emotional about this, because the “rice with butter and beans or top ramen every single day” life is soulsucking and sickening and it is genuinely one of the greatest sources of suffering to human beings I can imagine, I’m serious. Following this formula will genuinely change your life/mental health just a bit because you know that you have one meal that is super delicious, super filling, pretty damn cheap when it comes to how much you get, and super easy to make on days where the idea of doing more than just 15 minutes MAX is gonna make you wanna die.

super sorry for that paragraph btw i just really cannot overstate how this is a lifechanger especially when youre poor/low spoons/depressed. delicious food makes me not be as depressed. this is that.

METHOD

That’s literally it. I really hope this helps.

outta my way gayboy im making this sandwich

oh. oh my god. holy fuck. what. how. why. this is delicious. i kinda burned my bread and my cheese didnt melt all the way but it's still the best thing ive ever tasted?????

oh my god. this is so fucking good. the butter melting and absorbing the spices and herbs already smelled amazing, but then i threw the bread on and it started smelling EVEN BETTER. then i took a bite. holy FUCK this is better than sex. i legitimately believe that Innes Keeper stole this shit from Prometheus, there's no other way to explain why this is so easy to make, yet so FUCKING good, other than cheating a god.

I didn't steal it from Prometheus he's my trophy husband!

ok me and my partner went back and made this. exact words upon eating were “we’ve cheated god” and “i feel like my world just got rocked” and then we were both energized to get back to drawing. proof:

please make innes keeper’s scientifically proven perfect extremely easy grilled cheese

I'M PUTTING THIS ON THE FRIDGE (WHERE I KEEP ALL MY CHEESE)

Fuck it I'm gonna make the infamous inneskeeper grilled cheese, I'm suspicious of the honey part working but fuck it let's see what happens

i want this sandwich to impregnate me

Reblog if you want anon messages of what you would be the patron saint of

please listen to this guy from Chicago ague with this snake

I want to see this man film a full season of animal documentaries

“don’t you dare rattle that fuckin thing at me!” oh my god

“I just don’t think what you’re doing is a safe behavior”

*cries in Midwest expat*

This is so bizarrely pure??

You guys he does botany

https://www.youtube.com/user/westoaklandturdunit

Also his name is Jake Wozcak, which is the fuckin most Chicago name, like of course that’s his name right?

idk how to flirt but i can make things awkward if you're into that

ONCE UPON A TIME, THERE WAS A KNIGHT...

the visual inspiration for this was a combination of Frederic William Burton's Meeting on the Turret Stairs and also Bernardo Cavallino's The vision of St. Dominic receiving the Rosary from the Virgin

this was supposed to be just a one off illustration to get the thoughts out of my system, but then I started thinking about medieval politics and warfare and plagues and a castle and home as both a place of refuge, a prison, and a tomb, so perhaps they will end up as ex voto characters as well.

you may say, hey! that rosary looks like it has too many beads! it's a fifteen decade rosary, probably. dominicans are really into marian devotions. it works out.

also. spiral style stair cases. oh boy. it was that unexpectedly more difficult than I originally thought it would be to draw. the more I think about it, the less I understand them, even though I had a million photos of the stairs in front of me while I was drawing it.

⭐ I have a tip jar (ko-fi)!

⭐ and other places I’m at! bsky / pixiv / pillowfort /cohost / cara.app

Ok now do NYT columnists

already this has tags in the notes like “#anti ai” but... this is just real life with almost everything. this is like grifter 101 please don’t exceptionalize needing to be critical of chatgpt.

This is literally how job interviews work, by the way, and then everyone is surprised the super-duper confident guy is also an incompetent moron.

This worked on Trump voters, with the added selling point that he's a piece of shit that gave them permission to be pieces of shit.

Talking to experts when I was young used to drive me nuts because I would say something self-evidently straightforward, and they would say, "Well, it's not actually as simple as that..."

And then I got older and learned things on the way, and found people asking me questions that were straightforward, but the equivalent of "Why isn't it obvious to everyone that there is only one right way of doing the thing...?" and I would reply, "Well, it's not as simple as that..." and watch them decide that I probably didn't know what I was talking about.

Diamond Python (Morelia s. spilota), family Pythonidae, Sydney, NSW, Australia

photograph by Kai Goold

What city pigeons talk about.

Patreon | Mailing list

Hi, hello, writers? This is how you do a cyberpunk game.

[Image ID : a close up photo of the page of a book. The text is white on a black background and reads "You are encouraged to break every single rule in this book. Except this one.

Rule #00

Player characters cannot be loyal to or have sympathy for the corps, the cops or the capitalist system. They might find themselves reluctantly forced to do missions for them or their minions. But make no mistake - they are the enemy. End ID]

@northvvinds This is from CY_BORG, the cyberpunk spinoff of MORK BORG. Both are excellent TTRPGs that I highly recommend

Since is this making the rounds again, I want to try to sell you on Cy_Borg definitely. I like to randomly generate characters in Cy_Borg, and I always get amazing results. My last character was a goth obsessed with fitness, pumped full of steroids and wearing only black tank tops, chain-smoking in an armored van that allowed him to work as a getaway driver, with big insect eye implants and heightened cheekbones that made him look like a bug, and a passion from VR reenactments of medieval banquets.

How an Armadillo gathers foliage for its nest.

When I'm carrying all the bags of groceries inside in one trip.

its really cool that we discovered glass which is the material that doesnt have any chemical reactions with anything in the universe very useful for doing chemistry due to being able to put things in it to contain chemical reactions and never having it react with the things that are in it due to it being completely and entirely unreactive to every chemical

Posts from a 17th century chymist who's about to have their bones dissolved by hydrofluoric acid.

HYDROFLUORIC ACID MENTION‼️

DICKS OUT FOR HYDROFLUORIC ACID!!!

NOT A GOOD IDEA!!!!!

In another universe, Sam Reich is part of Batman's rogues' gallery.

@thebibliosphere

Him and the chocolate guy.

Nightwing: "...but why is it made of chocolate?"

Amaury Guichon aka Chocolate Guy, incredulous: "It is a bombe au chocolat, what else should it be made of?"

Sam Reich, popping around a corner, delight in his voice:"I have a better question: HOW DID YOU MAKE A BOMB FROM CHOCOLATE!?"

"WTF where did you come from?"

Reich, with manic glee: "Me? I've been here the whole time! :D"

Batman swings in, punching them both.

What do you think @thebibliosphere? Is there something here?

"What is this?" the kidnapped socialite demands, rocking uselessly in the chair they're tied to in the abandoned confectionary factory, "What do you think you're doing?"

"Ah, mon petit chou pourri, isn't it obvious?" Amaury Guichon asks, standing over a bubbling vat that smells sickeningly sweet. His smile takes on a sinister gleam. "It's death by chocolate."

The sound of Nightwing slow clapping from the rafters is heard.

Meanwhile, the League of Assassins is taking a vote over WhatsApp to eliminate Sam Reich because they're worried he'll take over if he gets bored enough.

"Hang on, I know a guy," the Riddler says.

Brennan Lee Mulligan enters the chat...

pig,,

This little butch piggy went to a bar and tried to pull a femme baddie

she succeeded

Hey, happy Earth Day! Who wants to talk about climate change?

Yeah, okay, fair, I kinda figured the answer to that would be "ugh do we have to?" What if I told you I have good news though? Good news with caveats, but still good news.

What if I told you that since the Paris Agreement in 2015, we've avoided a whole degree celsius of global warming by 2100, or maybe more?

Current projections are 2.7C, which is way better than the 3-5C (with a median of 3.7C) we were expecting in 2015. It's not where we want to be - 1.5C - but it is big, noticeable progress!

And it's not like we either hit 1.5C and avoid all the big scary consequences or fail to hit 1.5C and get all of them - every tenth of a degree of warming we avoid is going to prevent more severe problems like extreme weather, sea level rise, etc.

This means that climate change mitigation efforts are having a noticeable impact! This means a dramatically better, safer future - and if we keep pushing, we could lower the amount of global warming we end up with even further. This is huge progress, and we need to celebrate it, even though the fight isn't over.

It's working. Keep going.

There is a passage from one of the Ender’s Game sequels that lives rent free in my mind every time I enter a public restroom of like… Bean thinking very hard about which stall to select because appropriately masculine men never select the first stall, if you take the last stall you’re trying too hard, but you can’t take a stall next to a stall next to one that’s already occupied…

Orson Scott Card is having a Real Normal One Over Here, I Guess.

Like certainly the most interesting part of the Ender’s Game books is the characters’ constant mental calculus of how to perform masculinity and compulsive heterosexuality competently enough to not be judged A Faggot and like. Whatever is going on with Ender and the Last Queen and his whole Splitting Himself Into Two Idealized Versions Of His Siblings, who Perfectly Embody Their Gender Roles In A Way Ender Never Could…

But it’s impossible to talk about all that in a lens of Queer Theory without circling back to like

Not all homophobes are closeted but Orson Scott Card is out here having An Extremely Normal Time.

Ender’s Game is a metaphor for Conversion Therapy, Actually.

How are we meant to treat the narrative of an effeminate child kidnapped to a school where his latent capacity for violence is dragged out of him until it becomes his defining trait, who ultimately rejects his status as the savior of humanity in order to atone for his war crimes by [checks notes] finding a planet that will be safe for the aliens named after a gay sex act to rebuild their population on.

If not

As a story of conversion therapy and its aftermath

Literally in the opening chapter of Ender’s Game we are told “Peter is Too Boy, and Valentine is Too Girl, and Ender is Just Right”

Ender is CANONICALLY Experiencing Gender and then they use that specific fact to inflict trauma on him and turn him into a bomb.

I think maybe one of the most potent things about this is that when you are nine years old and read Ender’s Game, you think Battle School sounds fun, and then you grow up and realize Battle School is an Infant Crushing Machine and that’s also how being perceptibly queer at sleep away camp works

Before he even gets to orbit, Ender looks around at his traditionally masculine classmates and is like “no thanks” and then zeroes in on Shen to be his friend specifically because he has a mincing gait when he walks. If that’s not queer solidarity I don’t know what is.

It's criminal that Gideon Nav was so clearly born to be a professional wrestler and is forced to be a sad corpse girl instead. She's meant to be a gleeful heel! Her natural habitat is performing in front of a crowd by pinning women to the mat in suggestive poses! She goes right into kayfabe in GtN and stays in it like a pro! That girl should be posting gym locker room thirst traps for the insta lesbians and she's fighting zombies instead, it's an injustice.