What am I doing? Oh, nothing. Just sitting here crying my fucking eyeballs out watching What Dreams May Come. Just drowning in my own tears. So what's new with you?

This work is so fucking important.

Holy shit this week

I went down the shore this past week with my hetero life partner's family. I disconnected my work email from my phone because the past few weeks of work have been a trip through Dante's Inferno, and I had no urgent matters. I have two officemates, and we cover each other when we're out of the office. So on Wednesday I get a picture text from a good friend/admin assistant of a passive-aggressive note from my boss left on my desk about a client of mine that I'd left for my officemates to deal with (they agreed). Which means she went into our office after Friday 5 PM or before Monday 9 AM, looked at the work I'd left my officemates, and chose one to work on herself and bitch me out about when I came back. I started crying and I screamed a little bit. Maybe it would be different if my boss was capable of compliments, not just criticism. Of praise mixed in with the unending defensiveness - even though no one wants her job. NO ONE!!! If she, who makes $100,000 a year, wouldn't play poor around her employees, who top out at $35,000 with no raises in sight (when we are praised and raises are mentioned, she says she needs one; if someone mentions an ATM, she goes, "Get some out for me!" Swear to fucking dog). If every once in a while, I were told, "Good job." Or if I just didn't have to cower in fear when I hear her voice. Maybe I would feel differently if we didn't hire people with business degrees who spent time in federal prison for stealing money, but then volunteered at a homeless shelter, so clearly, they are qualified to practice social work. Yet they can't abstain from drinking on the job, or hoarding every perceived slight, or bringing up child porn out of nowhere. Maybe it would be different if we just PRETENDED to give a shit about the NASW Code of Ethics - I'd take ANY ethical code, at this point, instead of gossiping about your employees throughout a fucking CEU *ABOUT ETHICS.* I'm putting in my letter of resignation on Monday, after almost quitting on the spot so many times and just hanging in there for Sallie Mae. Why is it that the worst jobs also have the colleagues you'll miss the most? It's the camaraderie...we depend on each other to get through the shit.

They walked to the boardwalk, but we didn't expect them to come back in this #notaseasyasitlooks #surreyonthefrontlawn

Bubbin'

first ring of social work hell: coworkers who didn't study social work

So much has happened at work since my last post. I don't know where the hell to begin. One employee is exhibiting a lot of BPD traits and "splitting" the office - it is now them & the other newest employee "against" the other 10 of us. This employee was responsible for the firing of our newest social worker 4 days after she got off her probationary period. The other newest employee is upset at everyone because they feel left out. They also have anger issues, smell like vodka, and demean female colleagues. Because my work is not a social services agency, per se, my boss (an LMSW) doesn't have to care about current social work methodology/standards. So nothing is dealt with like you would if, say, we used sanctuary model. A meeting last week worsened everything, so the boss of our legal firm is meeting with us this week to, presumably, yell at us for ostracizing employees. Funny that this never happens when MSWs join the staff and then "don't work out". But the newest employees, with a BS and a BA, are basically running shit.

#myjam

1 thing

about working in social services within a legal firm: You're blamed for everything and attorneys come first always.

that time when

you have to block someone because they CAN’T STOP THEMSELVES from messaging you explaining why you’re wrong, you’re book smart but not street smart, idealistic, and clueless, and not understanding...

…from a white man from/in New Hampshire who tried to gain points with me by bragging that he left an $80k/year job to run a homeless shelter and that he’s done more to help ppl in the last 10 years “than you know”…

(saying that to a social worker is not a smart choice. rule 1 of social work club, your good deeds are not a fucking qualifier. braggarts ain’t cute)

…while defending Israel and getting butthurt that I said it was irrelevant that he knows someone from Israel, and that I said he was ignoring Palestinians. That is literally what made him so angry. Which is weird, because it’s exactly what he was doing.

But I’m the one who is idealistic and clueless. Yeah…I don’t have to sit here while you harass me.