Oversharing R Us

Helpppp

Another reason I want more Addams Family with the 90s cast is I think it would be so nice to see Morticia uncorseted and aging gracefully. I don't think she'd go full Grandmama but do you really think an Addams is afraid of wrinkles and cellulite?

Look me in the eye and tell me Anjelica Huston doesn't still have it.

ngl I keep forgetting that Hobby Lobby is a real store that people go to. That people actually think of it as a craft store and not as a crazy Christian mass artifact smuggler. I google "Hobby Lobby" and get a page full of results that make me go "wtf is this craft supplies and operating hours shit, I thought we all knew this place for smuggling looted cuneiform tablets out of Iraq"

dug up some sksw zelink from when I was messing with brushes... get ready

Mom. Get out. I'm doing spells.

You order a package off Amazon. When the Amazon delivery guy shows up to your door, instead of giving you the package you bought, he beats the shit out of you. Then, when he sees that you are not dead yet, he calls all of the Amazon delivery people in the area and they all proceed to beat the shit out of you. Miraculously, you survive. Another miracle: a friend in your neighborhood caught the assault on video. After a month of recovery and extensive hospital bills that you have no idea what to do with, the video has gone viral. You read the comments below. “This is what happens to people who fuck with Amazon!!!” Someone says. “I’ve never been beaten up by Amazon employees, and I’ve been using them all my life!” Someone else comments. Later, you start to see articles popping up about your story. They all mention that when you were 17, your license was revoked for reckless driving. In a Facebook post on your mom’s feed, someone is going on a rant about how not all Amazon delivery guys are bad, and that if you look really close, the “bad” ones are just stressed out. Your name is trending on Twitter. Jeff Bezos films a response to your attack, denouncing the video of you getting beaten to within an inch of your life by his employees as becoming “a symbol of hate towards Amazon.” The people who attacked you still deliver packages around your neighborhood. You saw one of them just yesterday as you were watering your plants. You still can’t pay your hospital bills. Your phone dings- Twitter again. “Maybe if you didn’t order from Amazon,” someone pipes up, “this wouldn’t have happened!”

Holy shit

Someone did not get the analogy

Ha I wonder how many strokes the most complex Chinese character has like maybe eightee-

Has a Chinese son, names him bèng-dá, and he hates me

My beloved son 䨻龘 just trying to write his name in kindergarten

my one skill is expertly manipulating the shape of the eggs I’m cooking so that they fit perfectly onto my toast every time

Bow down to your king

I can’t stop outdoing myself

Remember that post? The one that said “what if we all have super powers but they’re so mundane we don’t realize?” That post? This is proof that post was right

i know my ass is up too late because i’m losing my fucking mind over accidentally typing george of the gungle

y'all hear one funny word and you just smash that reblog huh

i made it

Tasteful bulge? Yeah I would like a taste f- [I am interrupted by the sound of a dry twig snapping. This is impossible, as I am in the infinite linoleum bathroom dimension for this joke.]