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crybaby

@cutestcowboy

I live so I love
angie, she/her
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As a gender nonconforming cis dyke, I’ve received a lot of weird hostility in bathrooms. Like, a lot. The mild but frequent stuff is when people see me, do a visible double take, and go check the sign again. The not entirely common, more aggressive stuff is when people verbally question why I’m there. More than once I’ve had someone call me “it” or confront me about my gender in public settings. I’ve had people try to tell me to leave.

But the only place I’ve had someone physically try to remove me from a bathroom was in London.

Some random middle aged woman thought that she had the right to put her hands on me simply because I don’t match her ideas of what femininity is, and I don’t think it’s a coincidence that this happened in a place where transphobia is running rampant. Of all the weird stuff that’s happened to me in pretty conservative parts of the US, they simply are not as emboldened here as they currently are in the UK; but don’t think for a moment that they don’t intend to get there.

Trans people are reason enough to fight these bigots. It’s a good enough reason. Trans people deserve respect, dignity, compassion, and protection. But if you think they’ll be satisfied with only pushing trans people back into the closet, you’re utterly deluded. They want absolute conformity, simple as that, and they’re increasing their push here too.

Any lesbian who aligns herself with transphobia is a traitor. Simple as that.

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Symbolism

I thought I might not be the only writer out there who likes to put symbolism in their stories so I found some things and what they represent!!

Animals

  • Alligator - stealth, survival
  • Ant - diligence, industry, community, remarkable strength, hard working, success, patience
  • Antelope - action
  • Armadillo - boundaries, self protection
  • Badger - aggressiveness, passion and drive
  • Bat - rebirth, longevity, joy, good luck
  • Bear - gentle strength, dreaming, introspection, power, protection
  • Beaver - builder, accomplishing goals
  • Bee - divine messenger, love, service, gathering, community
  • Bird - enlightenment, perspective, swiftness, vision, prophetic knowledge
  • Boar - nature-based wealth, prosperity, success, protection, courage
  • Buffalo - prayer, abundance, survival needs met, good fortune, healing
  • Bulls’ horns - a good symbol in meditation for motivation
  • Butterfly - rebirth, the soul, transformation, the three phases of life
  • Cat - feminine energy, mystical power, used to keep the wearer safe in travel, wholeness
  • Chameleons - ever-changing future, inconsistency
  • Cheetah - speed, focus
  • Cougar - power, swiftness, balance
  • Cows - red cows are a symbol of hope, inspiring symbol for nurturing efforts
  • Coyote - trickster
  • Crane - longevity. A pair of cranes symbolizes “Long Marriage”
  • Cricket - good luck charm, singing, Spring, fertility
  • Crow - sacred law, gateway to supernatural, shape shifting, illusion
  • Deer - graceful gentleness, sensitivity, compassion, kindness
  • Dog - companionship, health, service, loyalty, protection, future prosperity
  • Dolphin - manna, joy, childlike play, helpfulness, breath of life, harmony, intelligence, self connection
  • Donkey - fertility, easy childbirth, efficiency, health, well-being, and luck
  • Dove - peace, innocence, fidelity, love, gentleness, kindnes
  • Dragonfly - good fortune, magic, vision, dreams, luck, and ancient knowledge, illusion
  • Dragon - wisdom due to long lives and potent magic, royalty, Emperor, eternity, courage, strength, rain, Spring
  • Eagle - courage, spirit, bravery, strength
  • Elephant - commitment, strength, astuteness
  • Elk - stamina, pride, power, majesty
  • Fish - miracles, providence, sea/water magic, good luck and prosperity, foresight, fortune, salmon in particular, are associated with knowledge
  • Fox - camouflage, adaptability, integration, tricksters, shape shifters, and possessors of great magic
  • Frog - healing, cleansing, messages, health, honesty, fluidity, purification
  • Gazelle - awareness
  • Giraffe - grounded vision
  • Goat - tenacity, diligence, can help to achieve goals, endure criticism, and stay safe. Goat’s fur or foot - an anti-evil talisman.
  • Goose - safe return, love of home
  • Grasshopper - nobility, prosperity
  • Hawk - nessenger, strength, foresight, truth
  • Hippopotamus - emotional depths
  • Horses - power, stamina, speed, transportation and communication - A black horse with a white marking on its forehead is lucky
  • Hummingbird - joy, pure love, celebration of life
  • Ladybug - delight, trust
  • Lamb - filial piety (dutiful respect or regard for parents).
  • Lion (baby) cubs - inspire mercy and gentleness.
  • Lion (grown) - inspire strength, courage
  • Lions - pride, nobility, cunning, courage, just laws, fairness, the sun, images can protect sacred ground.
  • Lizard - dreaming, foresight, ancient secrets
  • Lynx - secrets
  • Monkey - benevolence, drives away evil
  • Moose - self-esteem, assertiveness
  • Mountain Lion - wisdom, leadership
  • Mouse - frugality, rebirth, scrutiny
  • Opossum - strategy, diversion
  • Otter - medicine (woman), balanced feminine energy
  • Owl - deception, wisdom, clairvoyance, magic
  • Ox - evil spirits that disturb lakes, rivers, and seas
  • Peacock - wholeness, dignity, beauty, recognition, self assurance, pride
  • Pig - rebirth and rejuvenation
  • Porcupine - innocence
  • Rabbit - fear, fertility, moon magic, speed, swiftness, longevity, courage, strength
  • Raccoon - dexterity, disguise
  • Raven - magic
  • Robin - growth, renewal
  • Rooster - courageous, warlike disposition, warmth and life of the Universe
  • Scorpion - the “fire within” that often needs careful tending
  • Seal - inner voice
  • Sheep - sacrifice
  • Snake - cunning, evil, supernatural power
  • Spider - destiny, fate, weaving
  • Squirrel - gathering
  • Swan - grace
  • Tiger - courage, bravery, fierceness, strength, being in the now
  • Turtle - mother earth
  • Weasel - stealth
  • Whale - record keeper
  • Wolf - teacher, A Guide to the Sacred
  • Zebra - Individuality

PLANTS

  • Aloe- Healing, protection, affection
  • Amaryllis- Pride
  • Anemone- Forsaken
  • Angelica- Inspiration
  • Apple blossom- Preference
  • Arborvitae- Unchanging friendship
  • Aster- Symbol of Love, Daintiness
  • Basil- Good wishes
  • Bay- Glory
  • Begonia- Beware
  • Bittersweet- Truth
  • Black-eyed Susan- Justice
  • Bluebell- Humility, kindness
  • Candytuft- Indifference
  • Red carnation- My Heart Aches, admiration
  • - White carnation- Innocence, pure love, women’s good luck gift
  • - Pink carnation- I’ll never forget you
  • - Yellow carnation- Disdain, disappointment, rejection
  • Chamomile- Patience
  • Chives- Usefulness
  • Chrysanthemum- Cheerfulness
  • Clover, white- Think of me
  • Coreopsis- Always cheerful
  • Coriander- Hidden worth
  • Crocus- spring, Youthful gladness
  • Cumin- Fidelity
  • Cyclamen- Resignation and good-bye
  • Daffodil- Regard
  • Daisy- Innocence, hope
  • Dill- Powerful against evil
  • Edelweiss- Courage, devotion
  • Fennel- Flattery
  • Fern- Sincerity
  • Forget-me-not- True love memories
  • Gardenia- Secret love
  • Geranium- oak-leavedTrue friendship
  • Gladiolus- Remembrance
  • Goldenrod- Encouragement, good fortune
  • Heliotrope- Eternal love
  • Holly- Hope
  • Hollyhock- Ambition
  • Honeysuckle- Bonds of love
  • Horehound- Health
  • Hyacinth- Games and sport, playfulness, rashness
  • – Blue Hyacinth- Constancy of love
  • – Purple Hyacinth- Sorrow, forgiveness, regret
  • – Yellow Hyacinth- Jealousy
  • – White Hyacinth- Loveliness, prayers for someone
  • Hydrangea- Gratitude for being understood; frigidity and heartlessness
  • Hyssop- Sacrifice, cleanliness
  • Iris- A message
  • Ivy- Friendship, continuity
  • Jasmine- white- Sweet love
  • Lady’s-mantle- Comforting
  • Lavender- Devotion, virtue
  • Lemon balm- Sympathy
  • Lilac- Joy of youth
  • Lily, calla- Beauty
  • Lily, day- Chinese emblem for mother
  • Lily-of-the-valley- Sweetness, purity
  • Lotus Flower- Purity, enlightenment, self-regeneration, and rebirth
  • Magnolia- Love of nature
  • Marjoram- Joy and happiness
  • Mint- Virtue
  • Morning glory- Affection
  • Myrtle- Good luck and love in a marriage
  • Nasturtium- Patriotism
  • Oak- Strength
  • Oregano- Substance
  • Pansy- Thoughts
  • Parsley- Festivity
  • Peony- Bashful, happy life
  • Pine- Humility
  • Poppy, red- Consolation
  • Rhododendron- Danger, flee
  • Rose, red- Love, I love you.
  • Rose, dark crimson- Mourning
  • Rose, pink- Happiness
  • Rose, white- Purity, heavenly, I’m worthy of you
  • Rose, yellow- Jealousy, decrease of love
  • Rosemary- Remembrance
  • Rue- Grace, clear vision
  • Sage- Wisdom, immortality
  • Salvia, blue- I think of you
  • Salvia, red- Forever mine
  • Savory Spice-  interest
  • Sorrel- Affection
  • Southernwood- Constancy, jest
  • Sunflower- Adoration
  • Sweet pea- Pleasures
  • Sweet William- Gallantry
  • Sweet woodruff- Humility
  • Tansy- Hostile thoughts
  • Tarragon- Lasting interest
  • Thyme- Courage, strength
  • Tulip, red- Passion, declaration of love
  • Tulip, yellow- Sunshine in your smile
  • Valerian- Readiness
  • Violet- Loyalty, devotion, faithfulness, modesty
  • Wallflower- Faithfulness in adversity
  • Willow- Sadness
  • Yarrow- Everlasting love
  • Zinnia- Thoughts of absent friends

Color

  • Red: Excitement, energy, passion, love, desire, speed, strength, power, heat, aggression, danger, fire, blood, war, violence, all things intense and passionate, sincerity, happiness (Only in Japan)
  • Pink: love and romance, caring, tenderness, acceptance and calm.
  • Beige and ivory: symbolize unification. 
  • Ivory: symbolizes quiet and pleasantness. 
  • Beige: calm and simplicity.
  • Yellow: signifies joy, happiness, betrayal, optimism, idealism, imagination, hope, sunshine, summer, gold, philosophy, dishonesty, cowardice, jealousy, covetousness, deceit, illness, hazard and friendship.
  • Dark Blue: Symbolizes integrity, knowledge, power, and seriousness.
  • Blue: Peace, tranquility, cold, calm, stability, harmony, unity, trust, truth, confidence, conservatism, security, cleanliness, order, loyalty, sky, water, technology, depression, appetite suppressant.
  • Turquoise: calm. 
  • Teal: sophistication. 
  • Aquamarine: symbolizes water. 
  • Lighter turquoise: a feminine appeal.
  • Purple: Royalty, nobility, spirituality, ceremony, mysterious, transformation, wisdom, enlightenment, cruelty, honor, arrogance, mourning, temperance.
  • Lavender: femininity, grace and elegance.
  • Orange: Energy, balance, enthusiasm, warmth, vibrant, expansive, flamboyant, demanding of attention.
  • Green: Nature, environment, healthy, good luck, renewal, youth, spring, generosity, fertility, jealousy, service, inexperience, envy, misfortune, vigor.
  • Brown: Earth, stability, hearth, home, outdoors, reliability, comfort, endurance, simplicity, and comfort.
  • Gray: Security, reliability, intelligence, staid, modesty, dignity, maturity, solid, conservative, practical, old age, sadness, boring. Silver symbolizes calm.
  • White: Reverence, purity, birth, simplicity, cleanliness, peace, humility, precision, innocence, youth, winter, snow, good, sterility, marriage (Western cultures), death (Eastern cultures), cold, clinical.
  • Black: Power, sexuality, sophistication, formality, elegance, wealth, mystery, fear, evil, unhappiness, depth, style, sadness, remorse, anger, anonymity, underground, good technical color, mourning, death (Western cultures), austerity, detachment.
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“When Van Gogh was a young man in his early twenties, he was in London studying to be a clergyman. He had no thought of being an artist at all. he sat in his cheap little room writing a letter to his younger brother in Holland, whom he loved very much. He looked out his window at a watery twilight, a thin lamppost, a star, and he said in his letter something like this: “it is so beautiful I must show you how it looks.” And then on his cheap ruled note paper, he made the most beautiful, tender, little drawing of it. When I read this letter of Van Gogh’s it comforted me very much and seemed to throw a clear light on the whole road of Art. Before, I thought that to produce a work of painting or literature, you scowled and thought long and ponderously and weighed everything solemnly and learned everything that all artists had ever done aforetime, and what their influences and schools were, and you were extremely careful about *design* and *balance* and getting *interesting planes* into your painting, and avoided, with the most astringent severity, showing the faintest *academical* tendency, and were strictly modern. And so on and so on. But the moment I read Van Gogh’s letter I knew what art was, and the creative impulse. It is a feeling of love and enthusiasm for something, and in a direct, simple, passionate and true way, you try to show this beauty in things to others, by drawing it. And Van Gogh’s little drawing on the cheap note paper was a work of art because he loved the sky and the frail lamppost against it so seriously that he made the drawing with the most exquisite conscientiousness and care.”

Brenda Ueland, from “If You Want to Write: A Book about Art, Independence and Spirit”

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