Cheekface could write "I was so ahead of the curve, the curve became a sphere" but Taylor Swift could never write "Here, let me explain how breathing works [gasping noise] You suck in and you continue to live"

Evidently I like to keep breaking my own heart, but you know, I don't think Crowley was about to say:

"And I would like to spent the rest of my life with you."

If you skip the "I mean, the last few years not really" parenthesis, I believe his full confession/proposal was going to be:

"We're a team, a group. Group of the two of us. And we've spent our existence pretending that we arent. [...] And I would like to spend it not pretending anymore."

And that's because he had prepared his little speach before Aziraphale came back, he had rehearsed it in his mind, taking their togetherness for granted. They had always been together, they had already spent their lives together and they were surely going to spend them together anyway forever.

Being together was not the point, because not being together was simply unthinkable. The point was stop pretending and finally become "an us" - openly, honestly, fully. The possibility of being separated never crossed his mind, it would not make sense for him to ask Aziraphale to be together, it would imply the existence of a reality in which they are not.

So when he pushed through and decided to say what he was going to say, he got to that part and the realization started to creep in that he might actually have been too much of an optimist. The possibility of them not being together did exist, it was coming into existence in that very moment, in front of his eyes, making the "stop pretending" part suddenly incongruous. And all the rest of his speach fell apart.

Now the point was "are you going away?", "what about us if you go?", "what is happening?", "why is this happening?", "how can this be happening?". Now the important thing that needed to be said was "let's be together, if you don't feel like stop pretending because it's dangerous then we can run off somewhere, far from Heaven and Hell and their threats, but just please let's stick together."

That's, I think, why he chocked on his words.

He was ready to take a little step forward, and he found himself falling a thousand steps backwards.

thinking about this again. thinking about “he got to that part and realised the possibility of them not being together did exist.”

so what does crowley do next?

he mentions gabriel and beelzebub. he says “look aziraphale, look, they’re more senior than you, and they did it.” he appeals to heaven’s moral framework. he says “we’re allowed. they’re allowed. it’s allowed.” why? because in that moment, when he realises the possibility that they won’t be together does actually exist, he knows it’s because aziraphale has not stepped away from heaven’s ideology. from their black and white rule system. so he changes tactic, and does what aziraphale tries to do when he panics. he tries to make them fit into the framework. his speech is suddenly not about being together without hiding anymore, it’s just about being together.

if gabriel and beelzebub can do it then we can.

good omens + text posts → 9/? bonus:

This, this fucking image...

It drives me insane, just activates something visceral, and I finally realized why. It's not just an appropriately placed close up shot to denote intimacy between Gabriel and Beelzebub, it's a fuck damn pov shot.

Gabriel is not dressed in accordance to his preferences, he is borrowing Aziraphale's clothes. And Beezlebub, well lets just say a black blazer is a black blazer, not exactly the easiest thing in the world to differentiate. Just looking at those hands joining, the individual identities of their owners melts away. The moment could have so easily belonged to Aziraphale and Crowley... and it's just- it's... it's just like the Rats of Nimh. They've seen this sign everyday for almost their whole lives, and have never once known what it says. They can make inferences, use context clues, wherever they are, it seems to be too so it must be about them, but they couldn't ever know for sure. Until one day, without warning, they looked at the words, and understood them.

And the sign communicated a way out.

Aziraphale and Crowley are the first of their kind. I don't think we really appreciate or understand how utterly unfathomable what they feel for each other is in their lived contexts, even to them. All this painful fear, all these lengths they go to, all to keep safe this precious experience they don't even have the language to name. It's not just unallowed, it's unreal. So then just imagine what the actual fuck they must be feeling when they see someone else... just fucking do it. Just like that. An angel and a demon. In love. Intimate, affectionate, in front of heaven, in front of hell, in front of humanity, in front of GOD, and She knows who the hell else.

For literally the first time, they’re seeing the things they feel for each other exist in others like them.

i will never be the same

do you think rose, in the moment she was the bad wolf and knew it all, even to the point where she would lose her doctor and there was nothing she could do to stop it, that he would be alone so long and so many times after her—do you think that in the course of scattering her breadcrumb trail to herself that she reached forward as well? did she find the doctor’s darkest moments and leave a hint of herself where he might see her? if she cannot save him forever, then she can at least say ‘i was here, i see you, you will be safe again one day if by your own hand instead of mine’? condemned never to intervene, like all absent gods, but sometimes all you pray for is a sign to keep going and she can give the doctor that.

if s1 of torchwood means anything, then she did for Jack. graffiti on the streets, the only way to promise she didn’t forget him, she loves him still, she will love him back to life for the rest of time. so who’s to say the doctor doesn’t get messages, too, when he needs them?

Color practice with the one and only (the episode I grabbed the reference from is so sad pretend they’re on a date or something lol)

Day 154 of posting Good Omens memes Everyday until Season 3

i’m literally obsessed with jensen’s acting in this scene i’m obsessed with those loud microexpressions i’m obsessed with whatever is going on in his head in the 3rd and 5th gif especially i’m obsessed i’m obsessed i’M OBSESS-

The number of antis who say Jensen did no acting in this scene except to look like he didn’t care tells me they’ve never actually watched this scene. He’s tremendous in it.

Ten and Donna end up on a fucked up deadly space newlyweds show despite uh. Not being newlyweds but they get almost all the questions right. They start to sweat when the final question is "what's one secret desire you have involving the other?" And Donna writes "sometimes I wish I could occasionally shrink down the doctor real small so I could carry him around in my pocket and make sure he doesn't get lost' while Ten writes "sometimes I wish I was small enough that Donna could carry me around in like a cat backpack or maybe a shirt pocket" and they look at each other like AYYYYYY because not only are they deeply drift compatible they're also fuckin weird about it 💖

Lesley Sharp: “When Sky is copying people’s speech patterns, we both had to learn the square root of pi to two or three dozen decimal places, but it was almost impossible to keep up with David.  His speech pattern, the rate at which he speaks, is phenomenally fast.  Really, really quick.  He learns pages and pages and pages.  And the rate at which he speaks is the rate at which he thinks.  Russell explained to me that David’s Doctor has a lot to say, because that’s David.  He’s so bright.  Isn’t that brilliant though?  The things that Russell thinks about and then re-interprets - I think they’re both amazing.”         – from DWM #397

From the Midnight DVD Commentary (with David Tennant, Russell T. Davies, and director Alice Troughton): David Tennant: We did rehearse the pi-number quite a lot… Russell T. Davies: I remember you learning that the day after you got the script!   DT: Yeah, I just thought, “Oh, I see…” RTD:  You walked into the Sontaran read-though and just rattled off the square root of pi! DT:  I got the script the night before, and thought, “He’s given me the square root of pi to 30 decimal places…  I’m gonna show him.” RTD & Alice Troughton:  [big laugh] DT: …and I got up early, and learnt it over breakfast RTD: And it was brilliant!

It’s that time of year again! Happy Pi Day!

in which crowley tries to convince himself that all is not yet lost, because underneath it all, he is an optimist…

things haven't been great but i think they will be. eventually 🌻🌼🩷

1x10. The Doctor Dances

Them <3

@captainswan618

people be fucking normal abt ftm bottom surgery challenge.

None of the commenters are gonna see this, but! If anyone’s interested in meta or phalloplasty but is kind of on the fence because they’ve only heard Terrible Wretched Things about the surgeries and results, you should try to find a copy of Hung Jury by Trystan T. Cotten! It’s a collection of testimonials from FtMs who have had bottom surgery, including their reasons, details about some of their procedures, and individual satisfaction ratings, and it includes testimonials from several trans men of color!

This is the book that convinced a buddy of mine to go through with metoidioplasty! I pinky promise, the surgeries are way way way better and safer and more effective than we’ve been made to believe they are. If it’s a procedure you want/need for your health and happiness, it’s a procedure you deserve!

LITERALLY THIS!!!!!! ppl are just parroting what they hear and they’ve been saying the same shit for decades. news flash assholes!!!! if you actually do your research, you’ll find it has gotten better!!!! what you mean is that bottom surgery won’t make you cis, and that is not the fault of bottom surgery.

I'm sure it's progressed in 20 years but when I'm in multiple FTM trans groups and seeing multiple posts from guys who've been basically butchered, including several who have had it just straight up reject and fall off, you bet your ass I'm not spending thousands of dollars to get bottom surgery. It's just not worth it to me.

“my information is decades out of date but i’m still gonna fearmonger anyway.”

I highly recommend that anyone considering a phalloplasty checks out this site

It goes into detail about everything from different types of procedures, to preparations, to recovery, and to risks.

I've found it extremely helpful while I was looking over my options because they don't just vaguely warn you about potential complications; they explain them in depth with the goal of informing you rather than dissuading you.

I think one of the most important takeaways I found here is this section:

The phalloplasty has come a really long way since it was first preformed (almost 100 years ago, I believe!) and complications are a risk with any surgery. Phallo has higher complication rates, sure, but it also boasts a very high satisfaction rate--higher than that of people who have undergone cardiac surgery. And regardless of all of this, shaming people or calling transmasc surgeries "butchering" or "invasive" or "dangerous" is kind of awful actually.

(There's also a similar site for people considering metoidioplasty too!)

https://www.metoidioplasty.net/

@defilerwyrm this seems relevant to your interests

”Don’t fuck up perfectly good parts” is so fucking transphobic you could have taken it right out of any given TERF’s larvae-filled, shit-encrusted mouth.

They’re NOT “perfectly good.” Not for those of us with bottom dysphoria. They’re parts that SHOULDN’T BE THERE. They’re parts that SHOULD BE DIFFERENT. And modern medicine can make that happen.

“Doesn’t even work” I can fuck both your parents with it one after another, shut the fuck up. You can piss with it. You can fuck with it. You can orgasm with it. What else do you want, a song and a dance?

“Doesn’t look like the real thing” if it’s like 2 months post-op maybe?? Babydoll there were SCADS of cis gay men biting their lower lips at my phalloplasty cock at the nude beach. One did an honest-to-god double take complete with jaw drop. And once I get my baculum (by which I mean erectile implant) in December, I’ll be able to put it in any damn position I please. Partner likes ‘em straight out? No problem! Partner likes an upward curve? Can do! Show me a cis man who can fucking do THAT.

BUT WAIT, THEY EXIST. Because phalloplasty and erectile implants and testicular implants are done for cis men, too. Do you think THEY’D rather have no dick instead?

You say don’t want phallo because it doesn’t give you a cis dick. I hear “I’d rather wallow in misery and self-pity because chasers and other transphobes have convinced me that I should not have my body altered from the parts they want to fuck.” I hear “I have been duped into parroting genital essentialist transphobic bullshit by cryptoconservatives.”

I love my dick. This is a $135,000 cock—I saw the bill. It’s QUALITY. And it fucking ERASED my dysphoria. Do I wish it worked like a cis man’s penis? Do I wish I had a foreskin? Of fucking course I do! But you know what I never fuckin’ find myself thinking after bringing myself off is “Gosh I sure wish my hand, pubes, genitals, and sheets were covered in rapidly-concealing jizz.” If it were possible to go back to my original configuration, there is no universe in which I would EVER consider doing that for a PICOSECOND.

The most common complication is a fistula. GUESS WHAT. THEY USUALLY HEAL UP ON THEIR OWN. MINE DID.

With a nebula-sized fuck-you to the transphobic cis gay who coined the term on LJ 20 years ago and discouraged the fuck out of me for ever getting bottom surgery, this “dick roll-up” is so much better than my OEM parts they’re not in the same fucking universe for comparison. They are on different levels of reality apart.

Stop parroting TERF rhetoric to yourselves and your brothers. Not all of us have bottom dysphoria, but for those of us who do, BOTTOM SURGERY IS FUCKING AWESOME AS ALL HELL.

I'm obligated to comment on any FTM bottom surgery post to say hey I got phalloplasty and it owns. No regrets at all. I had minor complications (which are a risk of any surgery!) that have since healed.

It basically eliminated bottom dysphoria for me. It looks like a dick, I can pee through it and it has plenty of sexual sensation. Trust me I've tested it lol

It's not a cis penis but I'm not a cis man so?

-In An Endless Dream I Loved You-  The Tenth Doctor bidding farewell to his beautiful Rose, in one of the last moments he would ever see or touch her.

-Touching A Memory-  The Eleventh Doctor and Rose Tyler, in shared wonder and disbelief at their impossible reunion. Rose slowly realizes that this strange man is still her Doctor, though his face has changed yet again and he is so much older and sadder, lonelier. It has been centuries for him, and he was so certain that he would never see her again. There is both pain and fondness in his eyes as touches her, as though touching a cherished memory.

Doctor Who in all its tragic glory is copyright BBC.

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