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drwcn
Anonymous asked:

1st of all, just found this tumblr and now I'm off to read all your fics!! I skimmed a little and I loved it so I'll binge now! Anyway! I was wondering if you happen to know how spouses would call each other. JGY calls QS A-Su and JFM calls YZY san niangzi, which seems to my non-speaker self WILDLY variable levels of formality so I was wondering which would be more common. And how tf do women call their husbands? I don't think we see it??

Hi! And thanks! (●'◡'●)

So I don’t think (?) JFM doesn’t call YZY “san’niang-zi”, he calls her “san-niang.” Very small change, but big meaning difference. “San’niang-zi” would more so imply he has three wives (her being the third) whereas “san’niang” means YZY has two older siblings. 

So what spouses call each other will depend on era and status, and whether or not it’s in private vs public. Please note that a lot of what I wrote below may or may not work for post 1900s depending on the context. 

High Class/Gentry/Scholarly Family: 

In public: 
In public and in front of company, spouses would be more “formal” with each other. A common one is “老爷” lao’ye - the non-distinguishing “m’lord” of no particular rank - and for his wife “夫人” fu’ren - m’lady. 
In CQL, most “lao-ye” are actually sect leaders  so it wouldn’t be “lao-ye”, it’d be “宗主” zongzhu. Fu’ren is still used in cql. 
In private:
What husbands and wives call each other in private depends on who they are as people. They may very well call each other by a diminutive of their name or by a nickname that has significance to them. 
So JGY calls Qin Su “A-Su” because he chose the “name” route; whereas JFM calls Yu Ziyuan “san-niang” because the use of “#-niang” has certain personality/ability implications. Please see [THIS POST]. 
A lot of times, people just use their name (excluding last name). Other things to call your wife other than a variation on her name can be: 娘子 niang’zi (meaning wife) ; Given Name-meimei. 
For what to call your husband/male significant other, see [THIS POST] where I use Nie Mingjue as an example. Other words to call your husband that mean “husband” can be: 相公 xiang’gong, 夫君 fu’jun. 
****xiang’gong and niang’zi are more MIDDLE class than high class. 

Peasants

Now this is the fun part. Obviously, you can still use names, those are all acceptable. You’ll see in dramas that husbands and wives will call each other 孩子他爹 haizi-tadie (meaning = children’s dad) and 孩子他娘 haizi-taniang (meaning = children’s mom).
I’m not kidding you, that’s literally what it means. It can be shortened to ta’die and ta’niang.  
For older/elderly couple, there’s 老头子 (meaning = old man) and 老婆子 (meaning = old woman). 
I shit you not, Chinese has insulting terms of endearment. You should ask me what peasants call their children... it involves dogs and eggs. 

Anyways, there you have it. You should probably stick to the “gentry” category for fanfic purposes. 

:) 

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the untamed characters and how much gender they have:

jiang yanli: 1 (an average amount of gender. she never takes more than she is offered)

jin zixuan: also 1 (he would be confused by the question. the important thing is that he matches his wife)

jiang cheng: like 1.6 (but he hasn’t noticed the .6 and he won’t believe you if you tell him)

wen ning: -1 (no thank you he is not interested)

wen qing: none of your business (who are you anyway)

xue yang: 2 (and they are both evil)

song lan: like .5, maybe .75 (he doesn’t think much about it. he’s got other concerns)

xiao xingchen: 0 (you don’t NEED gender on baoshan sanren’s mountain)

a-qing: 1 (and it’s mischief)

nie mingjue: 1 (a straightforward sort of man. he believes in doing a lot with limited resources)

lan xichen: ~1.4 (it fluctuates when he is not looking and he does close his eyes a lot)

wei wuxian: impossible to say (could be one. could be none. could be three. if you ask him he just laughs)

lan wangji: 2 (he will not elaborate further)

luo qingyang: 2.3 (she only had one back in the jin sect but she’s hit the gym since then)

jin ling: .8 (sometimes it looks like more but that’s just an optical illusion created by the refraction of light. neat!)

lan sizhui: 1.3 (he likes to keep a little extra around in case his friends need to borrow some)

ouyang zizhen: 2??? (he thinks probably two but he’s never actually counted)

lan jingyi: 1 (fuckboy (affectionate))

jin guangyao: 1 (he may have wanted another at some point but he couldn’t afford it)

nie huaisang: at LEAST 5, maybe more (he is collecting only the finest and rarest of gender. storing it away for safekeeping. you never know when you might need it for something)

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i feel it in my bones, i’m on F I R E

FUCK

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rawritsmeep

NO

OHMYGOD

hit the reblog so fast i think i broke my mouse

holY F U cKKKKkKKKkkkkkKKKKK 

HOLY FUCK THIS KNOCKED MY SIDEWAYS

do yourself a favor and hit play. then reblog it for all to experience.

THIS IS A F***ING BOP JESUS

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WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK???????????

His name is Mehdat Mamdouh, he’s a 22-year-old hip hop and dubstep recorder player from Cairo.  He’s been teaching himself this style since he was 14.  This article links to his social media sites.  He’s on Facebook and YouTube and Soundcloud.

I think I missed his name and info last reblog

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mirandaadria

Fuck yes. That’s some talent!

Reblogging this again for his name and info.

Like, this is epic and all, BUT LOOK AT HIS SMILE AT THE END OMG I AM IN LOVE

Look how amazing!!!

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i-gwarth

You’re welcome

[Narrator: A scientist in Peru [pause for peep] captured this, escaping from the tiny body [pause for peep] of a sleeping hummingbird. [pause for peep] A high-pitched [pause for peep] but unmistakable snore. [pause for peep] Hummingbirds are loved for their beauty and speed [pause for peep] but this one was behaving a little bit like a human. [pause for peep] The perfect cute-response trigger.]

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brilcrist

‪Some quick paint series for Tsengru ‬

Boss x bodyguard trope is pressing every buttons on me🤤 Perhaps i should start making sketch book about them (and other Turks members too🔥💦)

Wow, these are phenomenal

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At 18, everyone receive a superpower. Your childhood friend got a power-absorption, your best friends got time control, and they quickly rise into top 100 most powerful superheroes. You got a mediocre superpower, but somehow got into the top 10. Today they visit you asking how you did it.

“Power absorption?” you ask him over your pasta, which you are currently absorbing powerfully. in the background, a tv is reading out what the Phoenix extremeist group has done recently. bodies, stacking.

tim nods, pushing his salad around. “it’s kind of annoying.” he’s gone vegan ever since he could talk to animals. his cheeks are sallow. “yesterday i absorbed static and i can’t stop shocking myself.”

“you don’t know what from,” shay is detangling her hair at the table, even though it’s not polite. about a second ago, her hair was perfect, which implies she’s been somewhere in the inbetween. “try millions of multiverses that your powers conflict with.” 

“did we die in the last one?” you grin and she grins and tim grins but nobody answers the question.

now she has a cut over her left eye and her hair is shorter. she looks tired and tim looks tired and you look down at your 18-year-old hands, which are nothing. 

they ship out tomorrow. they go out to the frontlines or wherever it is that superheroes go to fight supervillains; the cream of the crop. the starlight banner kids. 

“you both are trying too hard,” you tell them, “couldn’t you have been, like, really good at surfing?”

“god,” shay groans, “what i’d give to only be in the olympics.”

xxx in the night, tim is asleep. on the way home, he absorbed telekinesis, and hates it too. 

shay looks at you. “i’m scared,” she says.

you must not have died recently, because she looks the same she did at dinner, cut healing slowly over her eye the way it’s supposed to, not the hyper-quickness of a timejump. just shay, living in the moment when the moment is something everyone lives in. her eyes are wide and dark the way brown eyes can be, that swelling fullness that feels so familiar and warm, that piercing darkness that feels like a stone at the back of your tongue.

“you should be,” you say.

her nose wrinkles, she opens her mouth, but you plow on.

“they’re going to take one look at you and be like, ‘gross, shay? no thanks. you’re too pretty. it’s bringing down like, morale, and things’. then they’ll kick you out and i’ll live with you in a box and we’ll sell stolen cans of ravioli.”

she’s grinning. “like chef boyardee or like store brand?”

“store brand but we print out chef boyardee labels and tape them over the can so we can mark up the price.”

“where do we get the tape?” 

“we, uh,” you look into those endless dark eyes, so much like the night, so much like a good hot chocolate, so much like every sleepover you’ve had with the two of your best friends, and you say, “it’s actually just your hair. i tie your hair around the cans to keep the label on.”

she throws a pillow at you. 

you both spend a night planning what you’ll do in the morning when shay is kicked out of Squadron 8, Division 1; top rankers that are all young. you’ll both run away to the beach and tim will be your intel and you’ll burn down the whole thing. you’re both going to open a bakery where you will do the baking and she’ll use her time abilities to just, like, speed things up so you don’t have to wake up at dawn. you’re both going to become wedding planners that only do really extreme weddings.

she falls asleep on your shoulder. you do not sleep at all.

in the morning, they are gone.

xxx

squadron 434678, Division 23467 is basically “civilian status.” you still have to know what to expect and all that stuff. you’re glad that you’re taking extra classes at college; you’re kind of bored re-learning the stuff you were already taught in high school. there are a lot of people who need help, and you’re good at that, so you help them. 

tim and shay check in from time to time, but they’re busy saving the world, so you don’t fault them for it. in the meantime, you put your head down and work, and when your work is done, you help the people who can’t finish their work. and it kind of feels good. kind of.

xxx

at twenty, squadron 340067, division 2346 feels like a good fit. tim and you go out for ice cream in a new place that rebuilt after the Phoenix group burned it down. you’ve chosen nurse-practitioner as your civilian job, because it seems to fit, but you’re not released for full status as civilian until you’re thirty, so it’s been a lot of office work.

tim’s been on the fritz a lot lately, overloading. you’re worried they’ll try to force him out on the field. he’s so young to be like this.

“i feel,” he says, “like it all comes down to this puzzle. like i’m never my own. i steal from other people’s boxes.”

you wrap your hand around his. “sometimes,” you say, “we love a river because it is a reflection.”

he’s quiet a long time after that. a spurt of flame licks from under his eyes.

“i wish,” he says, “i could believe that.”

xxx

twenty three has you in squad 4637, division 18. really you’ve just gotten here because you’re good at making connections. you know someone who knows someone who knows you as a good kid. you helped a woman onto a bus and she told her neighbor who told his friend. you’re mostly in the filing department, but you like watching the real superheroes come in, get to know some of them. at this level, people have good powers but not dangerous ones. you learn how to help an 18 year old who is a loaded weapon by shifting him into a non-violent front. you get those with pstd home where they belong. you put your head down and work, which is what you’re good at. 

long nights and long days and no vacations is fine until everyone is out of the office for candlenights eve. you’re the only one who didn’t mind staying, just in case someone showed up needing something. 

the door blows open. when you look up, he’s bleeding. you jump to your feet. 

“oh,” you say, because you recognize the burning bird insignia on his chest, “I think you have the wrong office.”

“i just need,” he spits onto the ground, sways, collapses. 

well, okay. so, that’s, not, like. great. “uh,” you say, and you miss shay desperately, “okay.”

you find the source of the bleeding, stabilize him for when the shock sets in, get him set up on a desk, sew him shut. two hours later, you’ve gotten him a candlenights present and stabilized his vitals. you’ve also filed him into a separate folder (it’s good to be organized) and found him a home, far from the warfront.

when he wakes up, you give him hot chocolate (god, how you miss shay), and he doesn’t smile. he doesn’t smile at the gift you’ve gotten him (a better bulletproof vest, one without the Phoenix on it), or the stitches. that’s okay. you tell him to take the right medications, hand them over to him, suggest a doctor’s input. and then you hand over his folder with a new identity in it and a new house and civilian status. you take a deep breath. 

he opens it and bursts into tears. he doesn’t say anything. he just leaves and you have to clean up the blood, which isn’t very nice of him. but it’s candlenights. so whatever. hopefully he’ll learn to like his gift.

xxx

squadron 3046, division 2356 is incredibly high for a person like you to fit. but still, you fit, because you’re good at organization and at hard work, and at knowing how to hold on when other people don’t see a handhold.

shay is home. you’re still close, the two of you, even though she feels like she exists on another planet. the more security you’re privy to, the more she can tell you. 

you brush her hair as she speaks about the endless man who never dies, and how they had to split him up and hide him throughout the planet. she cries when she talks about how much pain he must be in.

“can you imagine?” she whispers, “i mean, i know he’s phoenix, but can you imagine?” 

one time i had to work retail on black friday,” you say.

she sniffles.

“one time my boss put his butt directly on my hand by accident and i couldn’t say anything so i spent a whole meeting with my hand directly up his ass,” you say.

her eyes are so brown, and filling, and there are scars on her you’ve never noticed that might be new or very, very, very old; and neither of you know exactly how much time she’s actually been alive for. 

“i mean,” you say, “yeah that might hurt but one time i said goodbye to someone but they were walking in the same direction. i mean can you imagine.”

she laughs, finally, even though it’s weakly, and says, “one time even though i can manipulate time i slept in and forgot to go to work even though i was leading a presentation and i had to look them in the face later to tell them that.”

“you’re a compete animal,” you tell her, and look into those eyes, so sad and full of timelines you’ll never witness, “you should be kicked out completely.”

she wipes her face. “find me in a box,” she croaks, “selling discount ravioli.”

xxx

you don’t know how it happens. but you guess the word gets around. you don’t think you like being known to them as someone they can go to, but it’s not like they’ve got a lot of options. many of them just want to be out of it, so you get them out, you guess.

you explain to them multiple times you haven’t done a residency yet and you really only know what an emt would, but they still swing by. every time they show up at your office, you feel your heart in your chest: this is it, this is how you die, this is how it ends. 

“so, like, this group” you say, trying to work the system’s loopholes to find her a way out of it, “from ashes come all things, or whatever?”

she shrugs. you can tell by looking at her that she’s dangerous. “it’s corny,” she says. another shrug. “i didn’t mean to wind up a criminal.”

you don’t tell her that you sort of don’t know how one accidentally becomes a criminal, since you kind-of-sort-of help criminals out, accidentally. 

“i don’t believe any of that stuff,” she tells you, “none of that whole… burn it down to start it over.” she swallows. “stuff just happens. and happens. and you wake up and it’s still happening, even though you wish it wasn’t.”

you think about shay, and how she’s covered in scars, and her crying late at night because of things nobody else ever saw.

“yeah,” you say, and print out a form, “i get that.”

and you find a dangerous woman a normal home.

xxx

“you’re squadron 905?” 

division 34754,” you tell him. watch him look down at your ID and certification and read your superpower on the card and then look back up to you and then back down to the card and then back up at you, and so on. he licks his chapped lips and stands in the cold.

this happens a lot. but you smile. the gatekeeper is frowning, but then hanson walks by. “oh shit,” he says, “it’s you! come right on in!” he gives you a hug through your rolled-down window.

the gatekeeper is in a stiff salute now. gulping in terror. hanson is one of the strongest people in this sector, and he just hugged you.

the gate opens. hanson swaggers through. you shrug to the gatekeeper. “i helped him out one time.” 

inside they’re debriefing. someone has shifted sides, someone powerful, someone wild. it’s not something you’re allowed to know about, but you know it’s bad. so you put your head down, and you work, because that’s what you’re good at, after all. you find out the gatekeeper’s name and send him a thank-you card and also handmade chapstick and some good earmuffs.

shay messages you that night. i have to go somewhere, she says, i can’t explain it, but there’s a mission and i might be gone a long time.

you stare at the screen for a long time. your fingers type out three words. you erase them. you instead write where could possibly better than stealing chef boyardee with me?

she doesn’t read it. you close the tab. 

and you put your head down. and work.

xxx

it’s in a chili’s. like, you don’t even like chili’s? chili’s sucks, but the boss ordered it so you’re here to pick it up, wondering if he gave you enough money to cover. things have been bad recently. thousands dying. whoever switched sides is too powerful to stop. they destroy anyone and anything, no matter the cost.

the phoenix fire smells like pistachios, you realize. you feel at once part of yourself and very far. it happens so quickly, but you feel it slowly. you wonder if shay is involved, but know she is not.

the doors burst in. there’s screaming. those in the area try their powers to defend themselves, but everyone is civilian division. the smell of pistachios is cloying. 

then they see you. and you see them. and you put your hands on your hips.

“excuse me, tris,” you say, “what are you doing?”

there’s tears in her eyes. “i need the money,” she croaks.

“From a chili’s?” you want to know, “who in their right mind robs a chili’s? what are you going to do, steal their mozzarella sticks?”

“it’s connected to a bank on the east wall,” she explains, “but i thought it was stupid too.”

you shake your head. you pull out your personal checkbook. you ask her how much she needs, and you see her crying. you promise her the rest when you get your paycheck.

someone bursts into the room. shouts things. demands they start killing. 

but you’re standing in the way, and none of them will kill you or hurt you, because they all know you, and you helped them at some point or another, or helped their friend, or helped their children.

tris takes the money, everyone leaves. by the time the heroes show up, you’ve gotten everyone out of the building.

the next time you see tris, she’s marrying a beautiful woman, and living happily, having sent her cancer running. you’re a bridesmaid at the wedding.

xxx

“you just,” the director wants to know now, “sent them running?” 

hanson stands between her and you, although you don’t need the protection.

“no,” you say again, for the millionth time, “i just gave her the money she needed and told her to stop it.”

“the phoenix group,” the director of squadron 300 has a vein showing, “does not just stop it.”

you don’t mention the social issues which confound to make criminal activity a necessity for some people, or how certain stereotypes forced people into negative roles to begin with, or how an uneven balance of power punished those with any neurodivergence. instead you say, “yeah, they do.”

“i’m telling you,” hanson says, “we brought her out a few times. it happens every time. they won’t hurt her. we need her on our team.”

your spine is stiff. “i don’t do well as a weapon,” you say, voice low, knowing these two people could obliterate you if they wished. but you won’t use people’s trust against them, not for anything. besides, it’s not like trust is your superpower. you’re just a normal person.

hanson snorts. “no,” he says, “but i like that when you show up, the fighting just… stops. that’s pretty nice, kid.”

“do you know… what we are dealing with…. since agent 25… shifted….?” the director’s voice is thin.

“yeah,” hanson says, “that’s why i think she’d be useful, you know? add some peace to things.”

the director sits down. sighs. waves her hand. “whatever,” she croaks, “do what you want. reassign her.”

hanson leads you out. over your shoulder, you see her put her head in her hands. later, you get her a homemade spa kit, and make sure to help her out by making her a real dinner from time to time, something she’s too busy for, mostly.

at night, you write shay messages you don’t send. telling her things you cannot manage.

one morning you wake up to a terrible message: shay is gone. never to be seen again.

xxx

you’re eating ice cream when you find him.

behind you, the city is burning. hundreds dead, if not thousands.

he’s staring at the river. maybe half-crying. it’s hard to tell, his body is shifting, seemingly caught between all things and being nothing.

“ooh buddy,” you say, passing him a cone-in-a-cup, the way he likes it, “talk about a night on the town.”

the bench is burning beside him, so you put your jacket down and snuff it out. it’s hard sitting next to him. he emits so much.

“hey tim?” you say. 

“yeah?” his voice is a million voices, a million powers, a terrible curse. 

“can i help?” you ask.

he eats a spoonful of ice cream. 

“yeah,” he says eventually. “i think i give up.”

xxx

later, when they praise you for defeating him, you won’t smile. they try to put you in the media; an all-time hero. you decline every interview and press conference. you attend his funeral with a veil over your head.

the box goes into the ground. you can’t stop crying.

you’re the only one left at the site. it’s dark now, the subtle night.

you feel her at your side and something in your heart stops hurting. a healing you didn’t know you needed. her hands find yours.

“they wanted me to kill him,” she says, “they thought i’d be the only one who could.” her hands are warm. you aren’t breathing.

“beat you to it,” you say. 

“i see that,” she tells you. 

you both stand there. crickets nestle the silence.

“you know,” she says eventually, “i have no idea which side is the good one.”

“i think that’s the point of a good metaphor about power and control,” you say, “it reflects the human spirit. no tool or talent is good or bad.”

“just useful,” she whispers. after a long time, she wonders, “so what does that make us?”

xxx

it’s a long trek up into the mountains. shay seems better every day. more solid. less like she’s on another plane.

“heard you’re a top ten,” she tells me, her breath coming out in a fog. you’ve reclassed her to civilian. it took calling in a few favors, but you’ve got a lot. 

“yeah,” you say, “invulnerable.”

“oh, is that your superpower?” she laughs. she knows it’s not.

“that’s what they’re calling it,” you tell her, out of breath the way she is not, “it’s how they explain a person like me at the top.”

“if that means ‘nobody wants to kill me’, i think i’m the opposite.” but she’s laughing, in a light way, a way that’s been missing from her.

the cabin is around the corner. the lights are already on. 

“somebody’s home,” i grin.

tim, just tim, tim who isn’t forced into war and a million reflections, opens the door. “come on in.” xxx squadron one, division three. a picture of shay in a wedding dress is on my desk. she looks radiant, even though she’s marrying little old me.

what do i do? just what i’m best at. what’s not a superpower. what anyone is capable of: just plain old helping.

Written art. Beautiful. Better than most movies. Please read and share.

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To donate £5 to the charity supporting the male victims of domestic abuse, text the message: MKDV46 to 70070

yogaboi

At first I though this was a joke

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hypo-thermic

Don’t ignore this Tumblr

Yet they still do even when it’s right in their face.

This reminds me of how a friend of mine was abused by the mother of his child. She was mentally unstable and used to berate him constantly and would smack him in the head all the time. It really pissed me off. Then one night she threw hot coffee in his face and tried to stab him with a screwdriver. The cops hauled him off to jail because she made up a sob story that painted herself as the victim.  Once he left her, he stayed with me and it was a nightmare. She stalked him and me. She would drive by my house obsessively at all hours of the day and night (her muffler made a weird sound so I know it was her). She started showing up at my job, showing up at the places I frequented around town, and filling up my voicemail with dead air. The cops were no help. One day she got bold enough to talk her way into my home by conning my elderly grandmother, whom I was taking care of, while I was out. She went in my room and went through my stuff (creepy), then found him napping on the couch and attacked him. My grandmother witnessed the whole thing. He grabbed her by the arms, forced her out the front door, and locked it. The cops were called again. They said they’d go and ‘talk’ to her.

The next day we were watching a movie and there was a knock at the door. The police had come to arrest him. She filed a complaint against him and shown off some bruises on her arms from the altercation that she swore were completely unprovoked. My grandmother saw the whole thing since she was in the living room too and testified on his behalf. He still ended up serving jail time. No one takes male domestic violence victims seriously. They only see males as perpetrators.

This is important. Just… everyone needs to see this.

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Remove the White Supremacists

Dear Tumblr @staff

In light of the recent white supremacist terror attacks worldwide: 

We, the Tumblr community (your community), implore you to change your previously passive policy against white supremacy and white nationalist extremist ideologies. 

Every major news station, social expert, and experts on extremist ideologies have identified that these extremist ideologies are spread and grown on online platforms: specifically social platforms. They have identified the major ways that communities can confront these violent extremist views; the biggest one being for social media groups to actually start removing user accounts that post and spread extremist white nationalist dog whistles, memes, and rhetoric.

Your users are begging for your help in stemming the rising tide of xenophobic violence. As has become evident by the recent terrorist attack in Christchurch, New Zealand, these ideologies don’t begin with violence, but with strategically spouted rhetoric and hate speech that riles up others who are vulnerable to being persuaded by their subtle methods. 

Please.  If you support the safety of your users.  If you support the Muslim Community. If you support the Jewish Community.  If you support People of Color.  If you support your users regardless of color or religious background. 

Then it’s time to start taking a proactive stance against extremist white supremacist and nationalist ideologies and remove them. 

The signatures and reblogs below should serve to show you how strongly your userbase feels about this. We all stand for a world without Hate. Do you?

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aibidil

Why ‘female-presenting nipples’ matter

When I was 10, my mom made me wear a bra and it felt like a punishment for being different.

When I was 10, I took the bra off when changing for gymnastics and accidentally dropped it in the school hallway. A teacher picked it up and said, “Oh, this must belong to you” and handed it back to me in front of everyone. I quit gymnastics.

When I was 11, I thought maybe the boobs would be okay so long as they didn’t get any bigger than would fit in my hand, so I kept measuring it, but they did.

When I was 12, I started wearing two or three sports bras to smush them down, until one day a classmate said, “Are you wearing two bras?!” while laughing.

When I was 13, a boy told me he wanted to squeeze my boobs “until they popped.”

When I was 14, I got cast in a play as an older character and a classmate told me I got the role because I had boobs.

When I was 17, my mom told me to return a swimsuit because it would be too distracting for my boyfriend’s father.

When I was 21, I got properly fitted for a bra and everyone felt the need to tell me how much better my boobs looked.

When I was 26, I got pregnant and my immediate fear was that my boobs would get bigger.

When I was 28, I got shamed for trying to feed my screaming baby in public without a cover.

When I was 28, people asked me “why are you bothering to use a breastfeeding cover?”

When I was 30, people gave me weird looks that I wasn’t yelling at my kid for putting their hand on my boob.

When I was 31, I avoided going to the beach or pool because I didn’t want to have to deal with boobs in a swimsuit.

When I was 32, I got asked, again, “why don’t you get a breast reduction?”

When I was 33, I watched a 5yo girl get shamed for running around in sweltering heat without a shirt on and had to reprimand a bunch of tween boys who thought it was okay to shame her for doing something they do all the time.

When I was 34, my kid kept patting my breast and saying “Mommy’s squishy breast!!” They will never see me express any shame about tits, because I want them to have a different mindset than I had. Yes, boobs are nice! They’re squishy! They’re fun! That’s the end of that.

I’m 35 and no longer give a fuck. I don’t care anymore. As a teenager my tits were covered in stretch marks. They’ve been engorged with milk. My nipple changed shape with pregnancy. Give it another couple decades and my breasts will probably be all wrinkly. It’s sexual when I’m using it sexually. I don’t fucking care, and I won’t be ashamed anymore. 

Every time a policy or cultural hangup treats people with breasts differently, it fucks us over. 

Tumblr’s new policy makes an active choice to participate in this culture of shame. By classifying “female-presenting nipples” as explicit material, Tumblr has taken a stance that any chest or breast that differs from a male default is worthy of shame and unavoidably sexual. The idea that breasts are shameful and unavoidably sexual is exactly what fucked me up for so much of my life.

Stop shaming people for having bodies. 

I’ve been seething in rage thinking of this all day and @aibidil put into words what was reeling in my mind.

Our bodies are not porn.

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