- This diverges from my main AU, but is like an alternative ending version of it, so the development is very similar.
- The introductory lines are inspired by 'I love you' - Billie Eilish, but this is not that song's fic, for that I'll use for a couple moments in my main AU.
- This is a bit of a stretch, but do is inspired by the song I'll name.
- I'm not considering any religion references of the song and I'm taking it as purely metaphorical. This has nothing to do with religion or religious characters.
- This was written in a single afternoon, so please, consider it while reading. It's also my first posted fic (I've written already for my giant alternative ending but I won't post any of it 'till I finish).
- English is not my native language. I tried to write in as proper grammar and sense as I could, but it can be flawed.
- The dialogue part is a bit awkward. I'm not good at writing that, I'm better at describing feelings than at addressing them directly.
- If you don't like NejiHina or at least have some respect for it, don't read it at all, keep going, I'm not craving for fights.
So... Here it goes.
NejiHina fic.
Song: 'Samson' by Regina Spektor.
This can't be. No, this have to be a lie. A genjutsu, perhaps? She activated her Byakugan but saw no abnormality on her chakra. What kind of jutsu was this? Because, if this was no jutsu, then what kind of reality, monstrous reality, was she in?
Her heart stopped beating in a sense, but it was his that stopped. Why?! Why now?! Why here?! After all they went through, when she finally understood, when he finally reached up to her, when they finally would... Now they wouldn't.
There was no happy ending, there was no future, so as life was the cruelest thing one could imagine.
That same life that just yesterday gave her all ever possible happiness, and today was drawing her in the deepest and most devastating pain. That same life that doomed him 'till his end, that was forever so unfair with such a precious existence. He could never had a single thing he wanted. He was vanishing in front of her, he was losing his life as her tears fell, he was smiling at her with so love filled eyes, even at the most burning pain, even at the darkest moments when all light of life abandons you, even in the edge of death.
He was smiling.
He was smiling as well the day they met. His hair was long and beautiful, she recalled, but it was his smile that made her trust. After the formalities, they were led to the main room where the elder and her father took him in, along two elder ladies that were well known for healing the clan members when in need. She was forbidden to enter, and yet at 3 years old she knew barely nothing, she had a doom sensation in her chest. As if she knew it all. When his screams were heard, 2 hours later, she desperately tried to drag the door open and reach him, but her little and weak body got her nothing. She heard her father's voice and then, he started to cry. Why was his father crying? She had never heard or seen him do such a thing.
-It has to be done, Hiashi. - The elder said, emotionless. -You must be strong, as you are the head of the clan. How are you supposed to protect the clan if you are not able to mark this child? It makes no difference that he is Hizashi's son.
Hinata stood on that cold door until her nanny got her to bed, after she fell asleep wishing the door would open and she could make sure he was ok. She had only met him this morning, but something about him made her feel like she had always known him, not from before, after all she was only 3 and he was 4, such was not a long life. It felt as she knew him for an eternity, for uncountable previous lifes. And of course, the sensation was so strong that she could not understand, given how young she was.
Even now, as she stood in front of his dying body, she still couldn't.
But now, in her memory, the years went by and she was a 12 year old teenager, afraid of life. Her father dismissed her, her sister looked down on her, and yet, none of that made her hold herself in pain as much as the fact that he hated her. When she first noticed, her heart froze. He, that after the terrible times of her third birthday, run the next morning with a bright smile on his face to her, a flower in his hand.
-Hinata-sama, father and I were invited to your training practice today. I'm so happy 'cause I'm allowed to see you. -His words were chosen as if it was an adult speaking, but the serious tone on those words coming out on his childish voice made them all even more adorable. -Here, I brought you a gift -His smile grew even larger as he offered her a single white Lily his father helped him pack this morning.
The two adults entered the dojo first, so Hinata was left out with that child.
She wasn't excited at all. Her father always said that her moves were weak, but this child in front of her was vowing to make her stronger. He went as far as to say that he would give his life for her. And he did. Little did she knew back then that he was feeling the same pull, the same sensation of knowing her from multiple past lifes.
But when, as teenagers, they were matched against each other, his eyes reflected none of the love and tenderness he did then. His face had no smile, as he had not smiled ever at her since that day he came to see her training. As she stood in front of him, trying to held herself with dignity, he tried to diminish her until the point of breaking. She thought she saw the tiniest spark of fear in his eyes as she passed his face as she fell to the ground, after the fatal attack. For a second, yes, for a brief second, he seemed to love her still. But she held no hope. All these years she had been loving him and yet being torn apart from him more and more had left a mark on her heart, and she held no more hope of him coming back. She even tried to move on, and she almost did when she met a certain noisy blonde that would never give up. She admired his courage first, then, his fussiness numbed the pain and felt like a warm touch of the sun to the coldness in her heart. And she thought she could love him. No, she was sure she must had been loving him already. But it was not the same. She felt easy and tranquil on his presence, even happy, but she never felt as if life itself was pulling her to him, as if he sustained her the way gravity sustains all things on earth.
Time went by, and against all odds, the sweetest child she ever met came back. Yet he was no longer a child. His face had the serenity of the wisdom only a long life gives you, which suited perfectly his beautiful, almost ethereal facial features, the tall and straight nose, the big eyes that seemed to be looking at a world from afar, the rounded lips that were always resting in an indescriptible seriousness, but that would smile for her (and only for her) every once in a while. He was a lot taller than her by now, and his shoulders were almost twice as wide than hers. His hair was long and luscious brown silk. His hair was long, as when they met. It was always long.
When the hatred on his eyes was gone, he came to her and told her he would fulfill his promise, and so, he spent 3 long years training with her. It was hard for his teammates to understand at first, why was him rejecting them to spend his time and training with her? Her own friends thought it was weird as well, and they didn't trust him after he almost kills her once. His teacher, nevertheless, encouraged her even more than he praised him, for they would spend their youths in such a marvelous way. Her teacher just silently understood. And soon, they all did as well.
At some point she failed to point out on those three years, his eyes were filled with love again. She couldn't tell when the exact moment was, but the day she realised it, she knew deep down, for sure, that he was her sweetest downfall.
And as she was overjoyed to have him back, even if he was never going to say it, her feelings towards that blonde boy turned in the greatest and most eternal gratitude, for he was the one that brought them back together. So when the war came, Hinata was ready to make her best effort to protect him, to give her life even, since she could have happiness again thanks to him. For she could have his love again, thanks to Naruto.
But war was evil and cruel, and much darker than she could ever have imagined. Every day was a torture thinking who could be the next one to fall. Only one person could never fall, as for Hinata never knew someone as strong or as smart as him. He was invincible on her mind.
After several days of war, all feelings and resolutions can change, and though he had promised himself of never speaking of his love for he was not deserving, the immense pull he felt since the very first moment he laid his eyes on her when he was 4 years old was getting stronger and stronger, to an unbearable degree. The night approached and he knew she was going to be on her tent. So close yet so far. He spent a good couple of hours debating himself, trying to repell the urge, but there was nothing to do against the fated force that love was. And this was a fate he didn't want to fight anymore. So he entered the tent and found her wide awake, tears rolling down her cheeks. He kneeled immediately to wipe her sweet tears and whisper some counseling words impregnated with the love of his voice, that he was not yet ready to speak of.
-Neji-niisan... No, Neji... Please...-She said when she managed to stop the tears and to get out of her mind the thoughts of all the shinobis dying in front of her eyes.
-Hinata...what could I... -He tried, but she interrupted him.
-Your promises are the only thing I believe in Neji, you are the only one that could ease my heart... I'm sorry, I can't help but be this weak. I wish I could be like you, as strong and confident as you, with no weaknesses as you...
-I do... I have a weakness. The greatest and still sweetest weakness a man could ever have... Only if something happens to you, only because of you, and still, I won't be defeated until I know you are save because...
-Because I've loved you my whole life -She ended up for him, knowing the words on his heart for they were the same on hers. -Please, promise you'll always be with me. - She sobbed.
Then, as if something superior possessed them, Neji held her delicate face between his big hands and leaned to put on her lips the most tender, chaste kiss. Below the pale light of the moon, she cut a string of his perfect, silky long hair. She treasured that string of hair for the rest of her existence, as much as she treasured the memories of that night, the only night they ever had. After she carefully packed his hair on her amulet, he shortened the distance between them.
-Well done my love -He said.
And he kissed her tenderly, lovingly, sweetly and passionate all at the same time. His hands touching so lightly her skin as if she was the most delicate thing to ever exist. His lips found their way through her clavicle as his nose rose her neck inhalating her smell, drunk of her. And he kissed her all night non stop, rediscovering and enjoying her beauty and every cell of his body rejoiced on the victory of his love, he kissed her as if that night would never end, he kissed her until the yellow sun appeared and the clarity of day came.
They went to the battlefield the next morning feeling complete, for the first time in their lives.
But cruel fate decided that, this same day, they were to be torn apart. Her body instinctively turned to face him when her Byakugan spotted him getting in the way of those spikes to protect her. Her face contorted in pain as his blood stained her cheeks when he was pierced and the most heart wrecking scream fell out of her lips.
She fell on her knees, and her whole self felt numb. The time stopped, only the silence and darkness surrounded her as his life went away. As her own life went with him. What would life matter anyway? Her love for him was the first thing she ever really knew. She was devastated and furious, for life denied him every bit of happiness he could ever achieve.
Yet he smiled. With all the love he ever felt for her in his eyes, and eternal gratitude for the previous night he could finally have her, he smiled. He couldn't live to defy his destiny, he couldn't break that invisible force that leads all of our moves. His name would be forgotten, he was not going to be a hero that survived the horrors of war and led the world to salvation, no one was going to know who Neji Hyuga was or that he existed at all in a few decades. Still, he smiled. Hinata would never know, but Neji did, his smile was of pure and sincere happiness, for he have had it all.
