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wholly, shit.

@vvaffanculo / vvaffanculo.tumblr.com

micah. he pronouns. probably swapped at birth with a faerie. "they went looking for gods / and died in lonely places." self care? drinking a lava lamp.
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reblogged
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quest-draws

Caring about other people was a mistake

( i feel like Morbid Corpse Crafts are swiftly becoming this blogs main focus)

Bonus:

So this one was Dorrys, obus, weve got four m“ his and +wo of mine, Magi/y Cave I thy wasting fl/agl lal ¢ | / F {drgtd'h sa - \ | Seriousl , serioosly ? what the Puck, Lv. On what s godeam/Ied f/me oP existence Is that the kinda fiver/757 yoo § $50” fockin®t - _ __\ 1} \ ; /—:—~/‘ 7 _ £, e A L ike, ok, I get yore ke like literally married Jo the M]; undead, mad Scientist thirg, gund I’m tryna be like , ”Mi/c, but sertvasly fuckin 4 wh" HE FKK, ”é? would Yos even I didnt +hin/e > i} | 1+ wes Lhat" 5/5“ “C) A ; \ - deal, dudt , T } K“ - Juhi s s ey T miss yo when yon/“nu. dead.

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Boring old werewolf instincts:

Sexual jealousy

Constant aggression

Rigid hierarchy

Must win sports

Homophobia And Sexism Is Normal™

Eat people

Cool new werewolf instincts:

There is no five second rule

Corvids are friends

Hang out as a pack

Karaoke

Gotta pee

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dickless-mic

Also consider:

Separation anxiety

Unconditional love and loyalty

Being able to sleep in almost any situation or position

Irresistible urge to chase squirrels and rabbits

Hating the vacuum cleaner

Wanting to do everything with friends

Loudly and repeatedly announcing to housemates that someone is at the door

Long, shouted conversations to other werewolves across the neighborhood (bonus points at 2am)

Taking advantage of any and all free food

Werewolf-vampire solidarity

Fighting any animal that trespasses into the backyard

Boundless energy

Too much energy

Eating out of the trash if it smells tasty

Being bad at sports because you don’t want to let anyone else take the ball from you. Then destroying the ball in front of everyone because you want to make a point

Trying to fight things 10x your size like a fucking idiot

Being unable to hold a grudge for more than a few hours

Trying to make people feel bad for you over mundane things that aren’t actually that bad. And somehow succeeding.

Snoring

Needing to try a bit of your friends’ food, even if you’ve tried it 5645674 times before and have never once liked it

Getting way too friendly with random strangers

Being in a love-hate relationship with water

Digging. For no reason.

Thinking you’re a badass despite being a hyperactive ball of emotions and hedonism

Loud sobbing while pressing yourself up against the sliding glass door at your friends who locked you out because they were tired of your bullshit and wanted some goddamn peace and quiet

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bulbiedorf
Baby boomers: if we gay code all the cartoon villains the kids won’t want to be gay
Millennials: plot twist I’m gay for the villains now, your homophobia back fired and I’m extra gay for bad boys and goth witch ladies
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i love laughing about the friend zone because it’s so dumb like you know most of those dudes aren’t even IN the “friend zone” they’re in the “ugh god not this dude again” zone

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