Moogles!

This is a Final Fantasy thing. Moogles were introduced in (I think) FFIII, and I have loved them ever since. How could you NOT love this?

Anyhoo, in FFXIV, you can get one that follows you around, and it’s adorable. And even more adorable, if you manage to come in contact with another person who has one too, they dance with each other, and it sparkles.

Help, I am dying of cute over here.

This little shithead...

First of all, so sorry I’ve not been around. I’ve fallen in love with FFXIV SO hard. I’ve been playing it like it’s my job. lol

So, the other day, I decided to run a dungeon called Haukke Manor for XP. It’s about half my level, but I’m finally comfortable with the maze. (I have a shit sense of direction.)

I get in, and some guy named Kris pipes up and said “First time here!” and the others go “Yeah, this is like my second time.” Okay. Cool, I’m in the lead here. I tell them they’ll do great. I don’t think I need to say “Follow me” to the newbies, because in every other fucking dungeon I’ve run, that’s what it’s meant.

This little shithead keeps peeling off and getting totally lost. I say “I’m in X room that you were just in, I’ll stay here, come back to me”, or “Tell me where you are, I’ll come get you”. He keeps getting more lost and the other newbies don’t know whether to follow him or me, so the problem just keeps getting compounded.

I finally tell everyone to regroup at the beginning, and nobody but me does. Kris has been telling them he knows where to go! Um, no. So I have to ask them to stay where they are and that I’d come to them. AGAIN. 

They get lost because of him nine times. (ETA a few times because I forgot them.)

I finally catch up, and this asshat is still telling the others he knows where to go. We get up to near the big boss, and I’m going “Over here”, and then this little prick lays it out - “I told you I was a first-timer, and you should’ve known that means I need to look at every room.”

Then he told me he knows how to defeat the boss. No, you don’t.

We get like 90 minutes to run that dungeon. It takes more like 10 when someone shows you where to go. We almost ran out of time because of this shithead.

If I ever see that little crap again, I’m just gonna boot myself out of the dungeon. I don’t give a shit about the penalty.

Seeing the bit about Mickey Mouse getting railed on a washing machine made me literally laugh out loud.

Send a waaambulance for Ted Cruz... twice.

FFXIV occasionally goes on pro-immigration rants and lambasts people who are more concerned with their money rather than valuing human life, and I am here for it. Love this.

I SUCK at PvP (player vs. player content). If Final Fantasy XIV was a high school yearbook, I’d make Most Likely To Die. Or Most Likely To Cause A Total Party Wipe (aka “everyone dies”). I’m DPS, which means I hang back and shoot from there (like an archer), but the four on four battles are so fast and furious that I’m constantly going “OH SHIT” and racing around so I don’t die, instead of actually being able to sling my spells.

And me in dungeons for the first time... I’m useless! I’m usually the only first-timer, so everyone else is running the thing really fast, so I’m confused as hell and trying to keep up, and generally failing. So one or more of the party members has to go find me and walk me through, which happened last night in a MASSIVE dungeon. I was so embarrassed. 

Thank GOD that people are so kind in FFXIV. In WoW, I would’ve just been yelled at and kicked out. The sheer amount of toxicity in WoW is why it took me a good long while to try FFXIV, because I do NOT need that shit. Turns out I’m not the only one, because there’s been a mass exodus from WoW to FFXIV lately, and it’s mostly because the WoW players are assholes.

I’m so lucky that FFXIV players are so damn nice. When I was complicating that dungeon last night for everyone else, the last thing I heard after the end was “It’s okay. We’ve all been there. I hope that next time you run this one, you’ll know where to go, and enjoy it much more.”

DH is rewatching The X-Files from the beginning, and damn, David Duchovny was hot in 1993, wasn’t he?