Thursday night, everything’s fine, except you’ve got that look in your eye when I’m tellin’ a story and you find it boring,you’re thinking of something to say.

ELIZA SCORN HAD A BABY WHILE WE WERE LOOKING AWAY?

Okay i didn't read phase 2 and i won't be reading phase 3 but since phase 2 was basically just Jeremy Kyle: Roarhaven Edition, here's a poll:

God though this is so, so funny if you picture it as Roarhaven gossip. Doubly so if they're not actually sure which version of Eliza had the kid.

5.9% of the population think that Eliza and Dexter had an ill-advised drunken quickie in the toilets at the Requiem Ball, because...well, they were both there and they're both notoriously promiscuous.

8.8% think that either Eliza or alt!Eliza was impregnated by one or more of her gods. Opinion is divided over whether this was via immaculate conception, extradimensional trueform sex or whether there was a melty-faced vessel involved. A small but vocal group of devout monsterfuckers is less interested in the kid and more interested in how one would find Hot Faceless Singles In Their Area.

14.7% believe that alt!Eliza was having a passionate love affair with the messiah behind her husband's back. Another 14.7% insist that alt!Mevolent Would Never Commit Infidelity and that kind of degeneracy is clearly Serpine behaviour. Alt!Nef is offended - not at the accusations of promiscuity, which are entirely accurate, but at the suggestion that he'd look twice at someone wearing sackcloth.

11.8% are vaguely aware that Eliza outed China's role in Skulduggery's family's deaths, and suspect that he retaliated by jumping into bed with his vengeful ex's main rival. The dates more or less line up! Alternative theories include "Eliza seduced her way out of police custody at some point" and "Alt!Eliza was so overzealously fanatical to make up for the fact that she was seeing alt!Vile on the side."

"Alt!Eliza had affairs with Mevolent and the other two Generals at some point," is on the rise as a theory.

The majority think that Eliza, seeing what a spectacular job China did with her first sproglet, decided it was an excellent idea to give her another one. Or that China has taken in alt!Eliza, and that's why she's swung so suddenly and drastically back towards the Faceless Faith after years of distancing herself from the church.

@fallingnebulae is this gibberish to u

I love Matilda because it's a story about a child who sees injustice around her and gets mad about it and questions why things aren't fair, and instead of the ending being that she learns how the world works and that life isn't fair, she catapults one of the adults who abused her out of a building with her mind

17 years ago today.. the biggest rockstar move in history.

The look of satisfaction says everything

I regret to inform you that Discord's new Terms of Service includes an arbitration clause. You can find it here https://discord.com/terms/#16. This clause includes an opt-out, which I have transcribed here:

You can decline this agreement to arbitrate by emailing an opt-out notice to arbitration-opt-out@discord.com within 30 days of April 15, 2024 or when you first register your Discord account, whichever is later; otherwise, you shall be bound to arbitrate disputes in accordance with the terms of these paragraphs. If you opt out of these arbitration provisions, Discord also will not be bound by them.

These clauses are underhanded ways that corporations seek to deprive you of your right to participate in class-action lawsuits and your right to a jury trial. (This does only apply to us users ,other people still spread the word though )

#whats arbitration someone help me

Bad news, @noodelzmop. Arbitration basically means that if you want to sue Discord for whatever reason, the dispute needs to be handled in house. Specifically, in their house. If you don't get this email out, you're basically signing away your right to legal recourse if they do criminally shitty stuff to you, like with the McDonalds app.

I have been told that emailing "I am confirming that as of the date of this email, I am choosing to opt out of binding arbitration to settle disputes with Discord." With the Email you used for your discord account is enough for the notice but take this with a grain of salt as this was not said by a lawyer

reiterating that this only applies to US users

THIRTY DAY LIMIT BTW. I suggest taking sixty seconds to fire off a quick email with op’s recommended text. I have no plans to sue discord but better safe than sorry

JK Rowling has used her billionaire legal team to silence a Jewish woman for telling the truth about her contempt for trans victims of the Holocaust.

Scotland’s network of “freedom of speech” organisations, as per usual, have nothing to say about the use of wealth to gag critics of the wealthy.

However fast they race to condemn the LGBT+ community for saying the names of those who harm us. Statements at the ready to insist that transphobes no one wants to work with anymore must be given every possible opportunity to gain from their bigotry.

But it's not the billionaires who are being silenced, as our media breathlessly echo their every hateful proclamation.

It's journalists and activists forced to publicly humiliate themselves under the weight and the threat of billionaire legal teams or be driven into destitution.

We deserve better. Freedom of speech needs to mean something

The Streisand Effect strikes

This will swiftly become one of the primary things JK Rowling is remembered for. Trying to erase crimes of the Holocaust against trans people and then silencing Jewish journalists for calling her out.

With your help we can make sure JK Rowling is known as a Holocaust denier first, author of mediocre children's books second

Here’s a video so you can hear the water and the thrushes. I took it for you because you couldn’t be there. <3

In case anyone could use this right now.

he definitely fucks but there’s no way he fucks normal

God, I remember when I started sixth form (last two years of high school in the UK, seen as a more university style learning environment) and the teachers kept complaining about how quiet we were during lessons.

We wouldn’t talk. They’d tell us to do something and we’d just sit there quietly and do it, until eventually they just said “hey, guys, it’s okay to chat while you work!” and then everybody would start talking.

One teacher described it as creepy.

And I just remember thinking, what the fuck did they expect to happen? We’d all been taught from the age of four or five onwards that talking in class was bad. That if we did it, we’d be told off, or punished, or in some instances maybe the entire class would be punished along with us, just to make sure we really got the idea. It was a whole thing.

But now, because we were sixth-formers and therefore ‘grown ups’, we were suddenly expected to flip a switch and be able to talk as much as we liked? The whole reason we were in sixth-form was because we had worked hard, done well at school, and generally followed the rules— but still the teachers couldn’t understand why we didn’t just talk to each other.

Now I’m at uni, and seminar tutors are having a similar problem. People will talk in seminars, but a lot of them will insist on raising their hands and waiting to be called upon first. “Don’t put your hands up, just shout at me!” the guy keeps saying. But they keep doing it anyway.

Like, I really don’t know how to tell these people that you can’t train somebody to act in one way for over half their lives, and then suddenly expect them to start acting differently just because the expectations have changed.

We had this at university with toilet breaks. A lot of my class weren’t coming straight from A level, but we had a small and intimate class size. For the first couple of weeks people would go “urmmm is it okay if I pop out to use the loo?” And the lecturers would look baffled.

i miss vhs tapes and cds i miss feeding my computers and tvs yummy treats. now theyre eating nothing. theyre being born without mouths

?????? NATIONAL HERO???

this person needs protection this is not a joke we need to keep them safe

not a woman tho! she isn’t comfy with that word

just htought i'd let u know that this is the funniest shit anyone has ever said abt me

Me

Paraglider and black vulture chilling

(via)

I NEVER get tired of this video. It would be fantastic if the bird was just flying near him, but the fact it feels safe and comfortable enough to land ON his paraglider, isn't startled when he pets it, and is NIBBLING HIS SHOES... blessed moment, absolutely fabulous, 10/10 gold stars.

Okay but the bird isn't just nibbling

Note that it doesn't start nibbling until he starts smoothing its feathers.

They're grooming each other.

This is called parahawking! That vulture is tame -- it’s wearing jesses (a leather tie around the leg that a falconer will use to hold a bird when it’s on the glove). In fact that vulture is employed. Parahawking birds seek out thermals the same way they would naturally, allowing paragliders to follow them in the process.

Vultures are often used for parahawking both because of their attraction to thermals, and because vultures, as scavengers, are comparatively gentler and more sociable than birds of prey!