in my head the star wars equivalent of tswift is some human woman named tay’lor spiff or something and her stans are losing their minds over theories that she’s secretly a jedi singing about the horrors of war, even though she’s from a neutral system that hasn’t seen so much as a moral panic in 50 years

the theories get even more egregious during the imperial era, with people straight up thinking she joined the rebellion in secret and is loading her songs with subliminal rebel propaganda. their main piece of evidence for this is if you play a certain song backwards, it sounds like she’s saying “freedom” in shyriiwook. the fans get really defensive if you point out she’s performed at the yearly empire day celebration thrice now and her family historically owned ewok slaves

i regret to inform both you beautiful people that this isn’t going to go how you think it will

spiff fans (also known as “spiffies”) insist that the two decommissioned venator-class destroyers spiff purchased, the bad blood and the reputation, are for diplomatic purposes that benefit the rebellion. jedi’lors have concocted theories that she served on both ships during the clone wars and was respectful of every clone that served there, despite her courtship of a gravball player that thrice advocated against the clone veterans being granted natural citizenship

sorry your kid wouldnt stop naming pokemon in order so we had to flatten em into a sheet of lasagna

real homies respect trans people!

That's because this is Silmarillion

Love how tumblr has its own folk stories. Yeah the God of Arepo we’ve all heard the story and we all still cry about it. Yeah that one about the woman locked up for centuries finally getting free. That one about the witch who would marry anyone who could get her house key from her cat and it’s revealed she IS the cat after the narrator befriends the cat.

Might I add:

The defeat of the wizard who made people choose how they’d be to be executed

The woman who raised the changeling alongside her biological child

The human who died of radiation poisoning after repairing the spaceship

The adventures of a space roomba

Cinderella finding Araura (and falling in love)

I don’t know a snappy description but the my nemesis cynthia story certainly lives in my head

hilariously, these are almost all in my fic tag. so, a compiled list from the notes (and some extras):

I am in love with you /p

What about the one with the princess locked in a tower learning to become a wizard? That’s lived in my mind for years and I haven’t seen it in a long time

Oh, love that story, adding it to the list: 20. Princess Talia and adding a few more contenders 21. Thyme 22. The Monster under the Bed 23. A Meaningful Death 24. Humans are unstoppable…until they aren’t 25. The Monster under the Fridge 26. Antler Guy 27. Cleric slamming healing spells

Adding a few more I remembered:  28. The Frog and the Scorpion 29. HSTHETE 30. The First Witch in the World 31. Imagine that Oceans were replaced by Forests  32. A Faerie taking a Name  33. The Dragon on the Farm  34. Synovus & Menace  35. Raising the Anti-Christ  36. Aliens vs. Flora & Fauna of Earth (pretty sure there are even more additions to the original post but I had this one saved)  37. Doctors without Borders…in Space!  38. The Villain-Wrangler  39. The Last Contact  40. The 100 Parent-Point Children  41. And the Heavens Wept  42. The Night Gentleman  43. The Serpent God and their Priestess 

44. No One Showed Up for the Last Storytime

Wow! @writing-prompt-s contributing to like half of these!

I can hardly take any credit for these stories! But I love sharing them. Unfortunately I cannot read all the prompt responses so please tag me if you want me to reblog a story that resonated with you so I can give it a little boost :)

Never mind the “Who shot first?” stuff; THIS is the defining moment of the Han Solo character:

Everyone else was just like: “Oh, fuck: It’s Vader!” and standing around in shock and terror when Vader was revealed. Even Chewie.

Most people, I suspect, would have that reaction. 

Meanwhile, Han’s first reaction, instinctively, in less than a second, was to grab a gun and try to flat-out end the guy.

He failed, of course. But God Damn if you can’t appreciate the effort. 

Also, he grabs his girl’s hand. Not only is he going to end Vader, he’s going to do so while reassuring the woman he loves that this monster who tortured her won’t hurt her again as long as he’s there to do something about it.

The point of this scene:

Han was nothing to Vader. Not really. Han was just a normal, average guy. Vader didn’t think too much of him. 

“I have superpowers; you don’t!”

But then: doesn’t Han show more love, affection, guts and courage in this moment than any Jedi warrior ever could? 

Thus, Vader is shown up.

Attempting to kill an evil wizard with a regular gun is one of the most Han Solo things ever. I don’t think most people would even bother trying, because you can’t just shoot Darth Vader, right? Of course not. But Han’s gonna goddamn try it anyway.

Yeah, basically’ Han tried.

Sometimes that’s all you can ever ask of someone. 

Just one of many reasons I love this man

With Han, you never have to wonder, “Why didn’t he just shoot them?” Whenever you’d think that, he shoots them.

Han Solo is a practical soul and if he’s got the chance to just shoot them he’s gonna take it

#ironically this turned into a thesis on why han probably shot first

Don't try and test me.

✨🌙 ART LOG -> @404ama

Lyrics: The girl I used to be – Fishy Bishie

had a dream where Matthew Lillard was running for a government office and his tagline on posters said "with Scooby-Doo ass villains like these, why not rely on a true member of the Mystery Gang" and in very small print on the bottom "I was also a serial killer in case that doesn't work out"

order of phoenix 💃💃💃

It is beyond my power to not reblog this.

Mcgonagall mon amour

someone tell them they don’t have to pose for every security camera

Cody defects and finds himself where all depressed outlaws end up (Tatooine). He picks up odd jobs, maybe an off book bounty or two. Mostly just junk collecting since he can't be on the books and showing his face is dangerous. He's doing some scrap salvage in the desert one day and his metal detector goes off.

He takes out his shovel and digs and finds a box with two lightsabers.

Familiar lightsabers.

Cody always did have luck finding Obi-Wan's missing saber.

Obsessed with "Herr Mannelig" lately, so have a folklore-ish version of Moomin and Snufkin A wanderer and a mountain troll

hes a little shy ok?

Turns out with the Affordable Connectivity Program, ISPs CAN NOT shut off your internet.

Seriously. If you’re living in the US, and you’re at or below poverty line, sign up for the affordable connectivity program. it gives you like $30+ a month off your current internet bill and it makes it so they can’t disconnect you if you don’t pay them.

Yep! You don't even need to be at/below the poverty line... you can qualify if you make up to +200% poverty level plus there are a number of other ways your household may be eligible.

See if you qualify here.

Part of Biden's Infrastructure package of 2021.

Omg rly ??

yes! really!

translifeline.org

US: (877) 565-8860

CANADA: (877) 330-6366

Pacific time: 8am to 2am

Mountain time: 9am to 3am

Central time: 10am to 4am

Eastern time: 11am to 5am

Alaska time: 7am to 1am

Hawaii time: 6am to 12am

Okay so I just got off the phone with them. I talked to a trans girl named Aurora & she was super helpful! She gave me a few doctors to talk to & encouraged me to seek therapy instead of just rushing to get my pills. She literally found a trans friendly therapist in my town & I would definitely recommend giving them a call!

GUYS COME SEE THIS!!!!!! I didn’t know about this, come look!!!!!!

it literally would not be right to ever not reblog this

For any trans followers I have. Stay safe and know you are loved

This is the actual weirdest meme to get great information from.

If anyone needs it 👆🏼👆🏼👆🏼

wait… they’d help you pay for stuff, not just be a place to vent ?? o-0