no no, I know what you're thinking but it's actually amazingly great, keep watching.

You park in my spot, I PARK IN YOUR WIFE.

Finally, some good news.

👉🏿 https://www.nytimes.com/2021/12/16/health/abortion-pills-fda.html

This is so great because if anyone is caught impeding or messing with these deliveries, it’s MAIL, that makes it a FEDERAL crime, whoever fucks with these packages gets charged FEDERALLY, they face up to five years in prison.

[ID: A tweet by @ nytimes that reads, "Breaking News: Women can get abortion pills by mail for pregnancies up to 10 weeks without seeing a doctor in person, the FDA ruled. The decision comes as the Supreme Court considers whether to roll back abortion rights or even overturn Roe v. Wade." Attached is a link to the article and a screenshot of the title and subtitle of the article. The article was published Dec 16, 2021. The title reads, "F.D.A. Will Permanently Allow Abortion Pills by Mail" and the subtitle reads, "The decision will broaden access to medication abortion, an increasingly common method, but many conservative states are already mobilizing against it." /end ID]

https://www.npr.org/2021/12/15/1064598531/the-fda-could-permanently-lift-some-restrictions-on-abortion-pills

Adding a link that isn’t blocked by a paywall

Resources for anyone that ends up in a restricted state:

Aid Access - they can send you the abortion pill even if you live in a restricted state.

PLUS, you do not have to be pregnant to order them. You can order to have on hand, in case of an emergency.

Repro Legal Helpline (reprolegalhelpline.org) -

Some of the things they can help with above.

Miscarriage + Abortion Hotline (mahotline.org) -

They have a ton of information, and resources in one place.

Also, if you find yourself in a restricted state, you need to be careful of how and with whom you are talking about it. You need to use safe, encrypted messaging and calling.

I also recommend removing any biometric information for unlocking your phone. Use a PIN or password instead of a fingerprint or facial recognition.

gamer core is so cringe and ugly with the black and red grim reaper theme it has going on, but pastel gamer girl setups are the literal reason i breathe

fuck

I’m partial to the darker cotton candy energy some adopt

Which. Comparing them. Seems like the above but in the dark

Is there an earth tone version of this kinda thing?

“But if you forget to reblog Madame Zeroni, you and your family will be cursed for always and eternity.”

not even risking that shit

scrolled past this, re-evaluated my life, then SCROOOLLLED back up and hit the damn reblog button. 

Last comment same thing. Sorry to the next person who sees this. I just can’t risk it. I have things I need to do before my life becomes hell. Lol

man i fucking hate yall who tf put this up knowing damn well we all gonna reblog it im heated im really sick af bout this 

I don’t play that shit lol sorry

WHyyyy

Sorry everyone

If only if only the woodpecker sighs the bark on the tree was as soft as the sky why the wolf waits below hungry and lonely he cries to the moon if only if only

Shiddd

this post followed me to Facebook and im sooo annoyed!

It’s been a MINUTE since I’ve seen Madame Zeroni, fr fr

I HATE TUMBLR FKKKK SAKES

LMAOOOO

Not tryna fuck up any of my planetary Returns~

One time I didn’t and I was broke for like a month but the next time I seen it I rebloged it and a bitch just got 500 out the blue and a 20 gift card

Oh hell nah I can’t even risking it I’ll reblog this rn

I dont even joke with it

source

Day 286 of quarantine I have discovered www.webstaurantstore.com

It is, I BELIEVE, a website intended to be used by restaurants for bulk ordering food and utensils. And this is bringing me such unbounded delight scrolling through and recognizing that I, a single individual, ALSO can order ridiculous obscene enormous offensive-to-all-common-sensibilities shipments of BULK FOOD, to my LITTLE LITTLE APARTMENT, for PENNIES on the dollar. I have this god given power to flood my entire living space with bulk grains and it is one single button click away from my reality.

30 POUNDS of chocolate for $100. 20 POUNDS of peas for $13?? $13!!!! I will wake up every single morning from now on knowing that a box of donuts and a sack of dried split peas heavy enough to bodily injure someone both carry equal monetary weight. 25 POUNDS OF ONION POWDER for $50. Do you understand the enormity? the accessibility? the potential here? With the single click of the button I can put myself in a position of bequeathing more than a humanly comprehensible amount of onion powder in my will. AND IT WOULD ONLY COST ME $50 TO MAKE THIS A REALITY.

But what gets me

What truly gets me

is the 50 POUND BAG OF RICE 

FOR LESS THAN $20

Do you know how much that kills me? How much I’m losing my mind? that I can order MYSELF WORTH OF RICE for something to the tune of $50? I can OUT-RANK MYSELF WITH RICE, DEMOCRATICALLY OVERRULE MYSELF WITH RICE, IN MY OWN APARTMENT for the fucking PENNIES that is $50

I’m so sorry for the normal person I’ll be after quarantine because the cabin-fever version of me I’m inhabiting right now is perhaps just uninhibited enough to follow through on this dream I’ve just discovered of out-ricing myself.

Via @iamdylancurran (Twitter)

I’ll repost this whenever I see it on my dashboard.

fuck…

So, one thing you can do is use Firefox instead of Chrome. Another thing you can do is use duck duck go instead of google search. In fact you know what let me get on desktop and make a proper reply, give me about an hour and I’ll hook y’all up with some privacy

ok I took a bit more than an hour, I have time blindness don’t @ me.

Step one, download and install Firefox.

https://www.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/new/

It will ask if you want to import all your bookmarks and saved passwords from your current browser/s. Do that. It will also ask if you want to make it your default browser. Do that too.

You will be given the option to create an account, but it’s not mandatory. It’s just a convenience service if you want to access your bookmarks and saved passwords on different devices.

Firefox has a load of built-in privacy protections but we’re going to install some addons to make it EVEN BETTER. Don’t worry they’re all free and once you’ve installed them you don’t have to think about them again.

First, Duck Duck Go Privacy Essentials. Firefox does still set your default search engine to Google, we don’t want that. You could manually change it but the Duck Duck Go addon gives you some tracker blocking, encryption, private searching, all set up and ready to go

https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/duckduckgo-for-firefox

Next you need an ad blocker. ABP went stupid, so here’s uBlock

https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/ublock-origin/

Do you use farcebook or any related product like instagram? Facebook Container automatically puts those in a little quarantine pen so they can’t follow you around and spy on what else you’re doing

https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/facebook-container/

If you have multiple accounts (eg. work/school, family, public, personal, private) you can use Firefox Multi-Account Containers to manage them and keep their footprints separate

https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/multi-account-containers/

Privacy Badger and HTTPS Everywhere are published by the Electronic Frontier Foundation, and those people are serious as a heart attack when it comes to online privacy.

Privacy Badger sends a do not track signal, and also breaks link tracking by sites like facebook, twitter, etc.

https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/privacy-badger17

HTTPS Everywhere is… ok there’s a lot to explain here, and we’re already longposting so just, every time you connect to any page it makes it more secure.

https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/https-everywhere/

If you want to learn a bit about how this works and why it’s good to have, might as well start with the HTTPS page on wikipedia

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/HTTPS

You could stop here, that’s pretty good. But you can do more. You could install NoScript. A big warning with this one, it can break half the internet. It’s a LOT more user friendly than it used to be but if you can’t figure shit out by fucking around you should probably skip it. It blocks scripts from running without permission, protecting you from drive-by scripts that give your computer herpes, but also sometimes protecting you from script-heavy sites working at all.

https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/noscript/

Lastly an honourable mention for Ghostery. Ghostery has been a solid privacy addon for years, and now has adblocking powers. Honestly I haven’t used it in ages, a long time ago it conflicted with something else I deemed more important so I removed it and I never got around to picking it back up, but it has a great reputation and is trusted by a lot of people who I trust.

https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/ghostery/

Now, this all only covers your browser activity, which is a lot but you will still need to manually adjust privacy settings on your google/gmail/youtube account/s if you have any, your facebook/instagram account/s if you have any, and your actual gotdamn operating system if you use windows. I know it seems like a lot of effort, I’m a lazy bitch too, but it’s very set-and-forget, you only need to do it once, and then just review it a couple of times a year.

Here’s some stuff about Windows 10 privacy settings

https://pixelprivacy.com/resources/windows-privacy-settings/

https://www.cnet.com/how-to/5-privacy-settings-to-change-in-windows-10/

And some stuff about google privacy settings

https://mashable.com/article/google-privacy-setting-you-should-enable-now/

And some stuff about facebook privacy settings

https://www.trustedreviews.com/news/facebook-privacy-settings-2939307

And here’s an honest explanation of what a VPN really does and does not do, why you don’t actually need one, and the few real reasons you might ever want one

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WVDQEoe6ZWY

And  a bit about password managers

https://www.cnet.com/news/best-password-managers-for-2020/

This is by no means the limit of the steps you can take to secure your online privacy, if you want to go deeper you definitely can. But if you don’t want to or don’t have the time or aren’t very technically minded, this will still put you way ahead of the pack. It won’t make you The Most Private but it will make you Much More Private Than Most, and it should take you less than an hour or two, depending on how many accounts you have on predatory datenkraken sites.

Now go hide your panties from the evil empire.

You can also use Invidious to use youtube privately, and there are extensions like Privacy Redirect that’ll send youtube links directly to it. The subscription page can be a little unreliable, so I just send my youtube notifications to my email with RSS instead

ProtonMail is a free email service that’s not google (already a good start), but also encrypts all your mail so no one but you and the person you’re emailing can read it

From experience, Tor is a lot more user-friendly than you might think. It does take a little bit of fiddling and getting used to, but the payoff is that all of your traffic becomes extremely hard to track. They have a desktop browser that’s built on Firefox and comes pre-installed with many of the extensions listed above. I recommend trying it on without uninstalling your current browser, just to see how you like it

switching.software and privacytools.io have tons of recommendations for privacy-friendly alternatives to google software and tools that can be used to avoid surveillance. But remember that this isn’t yours or any other user’s fault - we shouldn’t be expecting every single person to load their computer up with encryption to avoid surveillance that private companies shouldn’t be doing in the first place. Lay the blame where it belongs, on google and facebook, and hold them responsible

All of this is great advice but also let’s stop telling each other that we

“gave away all our rights just to watch dog videos”

That’s some victim blaming shit. These systems were designed to be as essential as possible for us and to socially isolate those who refuse to participate. These companies spend a shit ton of energy and money on suppressing alternatives. If you work from home, if you go to school, it’s likely to have NO CHOICE but to use Windows, Google and maybe even facebook because your school or work does not provide alternatives and does demand that you access it’s platforms.

This isn’t our fault. We can and should resist, but we should stop pretending that we’re all sheep for getting caught in a trap designed to be nearly inescapable.

my parents aren’t teaching me life lessons.

#i need some adults to TEACH ME SHIT ABOUT LIFE

I’m an adult.

Some shit about life, from a bonafide adult:

Do not buy generic brand spaghetti sauce either.

Always check the type of light bulb that goes in lamps. A 60w is not interchangeable with a 40w.

Dollar store batteries work just as well as store brand.

~~Medications~~

Over the counter medications (stuff you can buy right off the shelf no prescription needed) have a name brand and a generic name. ALWAYS buy generic if it’s available it is literally the same thing and way cheaper usually.

Some names to remember when you’re looking for meds!

Acetaminophen = Tylenol

Used to treat pain and reduce fever. Do not take with Ibuprofen.

Ibuprofen = Advil, Midol, Motrin

Used for pain and fever, is an anti-inflammtory. Is good for period cramps because it is an NSAID (non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drug).

Naproxen = Aleve, Naprosyn

Treats fever, pain, arthritis pain, gout, period cramps, tendinitis, headache, backache, and toothache. Is also an NSAID.

Acetaminophen + Asprin + Caffeine = Excedrin

Usually marketed as “Migraine Relief” as a generic.

Asprin = Bayer

Use for pain, fever, arthritis, and inflammation. Makes you bleed easily so should not be used for periods. Might reduce risk of heart attacks.\

Triple Antibiotic Ointment = Neosporin

Used on cuts, sores, and scrapes to reduce risk of infection and promote healing.

Also a general mutli-vitamin isn’t a bad idea and if you don’t get a lot of fruits or milk/sunshine in your diet you might want to get vitamins C and D specifically for daily use.

if you do accidentally lapse and put dawn in your dishwasher, run it empty and put hair conditioner where the detergent goes. that’ll clean it out (tip given to me by dorm custodian when roommate did the thing).

if you live off ramen, add stuff to it! add veggies you like, don’t use the whole flavor packet to cut down on sodium and msg or don’t use it at all and add your own spices.

if you’re making something with potatoes in it (beans, stew) potatoes are done when you can easily stab a fork through them.

you can microwave a hotdog as long as you put it in a microwave safe container of water. microwaves work by making water molecules vibrate. also, when reheating rice leftovers, add a small amount of water, like maybe a spoonfull, so it doesn’t get hard and crunchy.

the rice cooking advice above is for long grain rice. if you’re making short or medium grain rice, a 1:1 ratio (one cup water for one cup rice) is better, so the rice doesn’t come out too mushy.

buy a few cans of chicken. wholesale club stores like sam’s, costco, or bj’s tend to carry multipacks for a good price. they’re incredibly useful for when you forget to defrost meat.

buy meat on sale and put it in the freezer. buy vegetables on sale, and put them in the freezer. frozen veggies are often as flavorful and good as fresh ones, keep longer, and often come in microwaveable bags or with microwave directions.

soak ink stains in milk to help get them out or at least lighten them.

soak blood stains in water as soon as possible, with a bit of detergent or stain remover. scrub at them. use cold water, heat binds proteins to fabric. tbh, there’s no real need to change the washer from cold-cold setting unless the thing you’re washing says to wash in warm water.

acetone, found in most nail polish removers, dissolves super glue.

YOU’RE ALL DOING GOD’S WORK BLESS YOU

Takes pictures, have prints made and put them in photo albums. Be IN the pictures, have someone take pictures of you and your friends. Get over not looking perfect in thw picture. Someday that friend might be gone and those pictures might be all you’ll have, you will want to be in them. I made that mistake with my best friend, i always felt weird asking for a picture together… he died of cancer January of 2014 and now i have no pictures of us together. Its my only regret in life.

This is really helpful, thank you all!

I’m the newest of new adults but I’m gonna throw these little tips in there. IF YOU HAVE AN OLD CAR: 

-coolant or water if your car overheats (coolant is preferable cause it won’t hurt the engine in the long run but hey i know money is tight) 

-flashlight in case you break down at night and need to check under the hood and your phone is dead

-SPARE TIRE. 

-jumper cables.you will at some point leave your lights on. you just will. 

AAA or any other road side service is never a bad investment i swear. (try to mooch it off your parents as long as you can though) 

Know how to change a tire. You’re going to need to do it at some point in time and you can’t always rely on someone else to do it for you.

Don’t be afraid to go to your local food bank. They are there for a reason.

Don’t be ashamed to ask for help period. Life is hard, everyone needs help occasionally.

You can put a LOWER wattage bulb in a lamp that says it’s for a higher one, but don’t put a HIGHER wattage bulb in. Also, watts refer to the amount of electricity used. LUMENS refers to the amount of light put out, and can vary quite a bit between brands, even though the wattage is the same. Look for the one with the highest lumens unless you actually want a slightly dimmer bulb in a certain location. Those dollar store batteries? Fine if they’re alkaline. “Heavy-duty” batteries, however, won’t last nearly as long. You can microwave a hot dog and bun simply by wrapping them in a toweling for a minute, less if you don’t want them scalding hot.

Reblogging to save lives.

Two adulting (kitchen-related) tips from me!

1. Buy a roll of parchment paper from the cooking shit aisle. A big roll will last you for-fucking-ever. Pretty much any time you’re using a baking pan you can line it with that stuff and save yourself A: food sticking to the pan and B: it’s a quick rinse and it’s clean.

2. Bread can get fucking expensive, so make your own. A bigass bag of flour and a bag of active dry yeast (store it in the friiiiidge!!!) works out a FUCK of a lot cheaper than buying bread at the store, and you can do so much more with it. Bread, pizza, rolls, cinnibuns, homemade pizza pockets. It seems intimidating but it’s stupid easy.

Seriously. It’s stupid simple to make, and most of the “3 hours” to make it is sitting around surfing the internet or doing whatever the fuck you want while the dough rises. If you have an afternoon free once a week to sit and play video games or surf the net, you have the time to make your own bread on the cheap. Here’s my simple-as-fuck recipe:

Boom. You have bread dough. Here are some baking times and uses for ya:

You can add whatever you want to the dough for some variety, just if it’s dried spices remember you really only need 1-ish tablespoons. I personally like making bread with about 1 tablespoon of dill in the dough. Roll it out flat, sprinkle it with cheddar, roll it into a log, squeeze the ends shut, and bake it like a regular loaf of bread. Cheesy dill bread OMNOMNOM.

*ahem* That got a bit long. But yeah. Bread’s expensive, yo. Save your wallet.

(Also it’s ridiculous amounts of therapeutic to bake, for me anyway)

Being able to bake your own bread is pretty awesome, if you got the time for it. 

Reblogging in case of independence

Reblogging for the day I get my shit together and want to learn how to function like an actual adult. Also, homemade bread sounds just as good as the homemade scones my ma used to make and I’m living in nostalgia right now

Also for the rice thing!! You don’t need to measure ratios or cups or anything. Just put enough water that it goes up to the first joint of your index finger and call it a day. You can put less, but that’s usually the amount people use. It works for most types of rice

So uh this is something to seriously be paying attention to if you aren’t already

how did the secret service manage to go to this guy’s house and workplace in five hours, with an entire dossier on his life? sounds like bullshit tbh

it’s admittedly hard to weigh how unbelievable the story is against the fact that there’s been a vast domestic spying program for the past 20 years that has only intensified in the social media age

Whether this is true or not, I’m gonna be that guy on this post and say this person fucked up by talking to these agents. Like why answer all those questions? Why explain yourself? You’ve now cooperated with law enforcement and possibly put people you’re connected to in danger. They were on a fishing mission and you gave them enough fish to eat for days.

For those that don’t know, if any law enforcement, federal or local comes to your door, there are only 4 things you should ever say to them:

1) I’m going to remain silent

2) I do not consent to a search

3) am I being detained?

4) I want to speak to a lawyer

Cops will use any info you give them about yourself against you and your community. If you don’t care about your own safety, I really hope you stay silent at least for the people connected to you. Cops will use this info to map communities and figure out connections and try to break up movements.

Literally don’t care if you think it’s funny to argue with cops about your ideology or prove something to them. Don’t fucking do it. You’re literally just cooperating with the state.

Good info but also make sure you explicitly say "I INVOKE my right to a lawyer/attorney", if you just say "i want" a lawyer, that can be and has in the past been used as evidence of guilt

I know I posted a draft of this yesterday but this is better actually

[ID: a 5x5 grid with the caption "sea shanty generator". The top X axis is captioned "I am" with the options "horny" "mean" "sad" "drunk" "gay. The Y axis is captioned "about" with the options "boats" "my friends" "the captain" "the fair bonny shores of home" "treasure". End ID]

Some preliminary entries just from my most listened. Yes my favourite sea shanties are all mean and gay because I have taste

[ID: the grid has been partially filled in with shanty titles. Barett's privateers is in I am mean about boats, drunken sailor is in mean about my friends, leaver her, johnny is in gay about boats, don't forget your old ship mate is in gay about my friends, and handsome cabin boy is in gay about the captain]

OP this is wonderful and i added some

Fucking awesome, might it add

My brother saved this document and everytime he gets angry at our neighbours for being loud he prints it to their wireless printer and you can hear the wife shout “Why the fuck would you print this AGAIN?!” to her son.

every time we serve chicken at work i think of this post

1.  If you were wondering, you can type the numbers in the works cited into google and they appear to be medical journal articles about using medical imaging to detect and diagnose a rare form of Gastritis.

2. Please enjoy the offical powerpoint presentation of this paper at an academic conference by the original author, complete with Q&A:

THIS IS GOLD

oh m god please watch the video it’s some of the most contagious laughter on the planet

When I saw this cross my dash tonight, I smiled and thought “yess, the chicken chicken chicken post, I get to reblog it again and inflict it on all of the people that have followed me since last time”, and then I scrolled down more and to my utter delight there was A VIDEO, needless to say my night has been made

I HAVE NOT SEEN THE CHICKEN VIDEO IN TEN DAMN YEARS HOLY SHIT

STILL FUNNY

The bell

The last question

The woman howling in laughter 90% of the time

It’s all beautiful

It’s all

So beautiful

I love that he was absolutely 100% prepared for a question in chickenese.

“I do not feel capable summarizing this article”

Same

“any questions?”

“If you do something three times, it’s funny. If you do it four or five times, it’s not funny anymore. But if you do it fifteen, sixteen, seventeen times, it gets REALLY funny.” -Tim Conway-

ruth bader ginsburg has died. call your senators and remind them over and over and over again of mitch mcconnell’s own rule to not replace supreme court justices in a presidential election year. call them as many times as it takes until they agree to not fill the seat until 2021. 202-224-3121

this this this. a phone call means so much more than an email. public representatives hate angry constituents, and they hate hearing from them in person. if you can, if you at ALL can, please call.

@beautyschoolmakeout

How Often To Clean Your House (aka Being An Adult)

Sprinkles And Crafts: A Food, DIY And Lifestyle Blog.

As an adult in honestly feeling attacked right now

You want me to clean my coffeemaker and squeegee the goddamn shower walls ON A DAILY BASIS???

dealing with the worst case scenario

I feel like this could be useful in my future

REBLOG THIS. I CANNOT STRESS HOW IMPORTANT THIS GUIDES ARE, BOOST THIS SHIT

If I don’t reblog this one of these things is definitely going to happen to me