~Romantic Universe~

@sebyun / sebyun.tumblr.com

Ags | ‘93 | here for women, homoeroticism, pretty things, art and dogs
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xlivingproofx

I’m actually really fun once you get to know me (takes 3-4 years).

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typicalteencrap

(may shorten to 3-4 months if you are a fellow queer)

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cringekind
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lavenderlion

This might suck to hear, but if you’re a people pleaser that is motivated by praise and avoids disagreements, you are easy to manipulate.

When I was in therapy after surviving years of domestic violence, my therapist had to tell me that my personality was primed for abuse and we needed to work on that so I would be better equipped to see the red flags and respond appropriately in the future.

I’m still working on this, and it’s been 8 years. If you tell someone how you want to be treated, what behaviors you don’t tolerate in your life, what you’re looking for in that relationship, and they react negatively, don’t compromise yourself. Just move on.

This one’s for all the praise-kink girlies: differentiate, self-actualize, stay sexy

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lavenderlion

This resonated with more people than I thought, so here are some phrases to practice when you would normally default to people pleasing:

  • I’m not comfortable with that.
  • I’d rather not, but thank you for the offer!
  • You’re welcome to disagree, but that’s not something I’m okay with.
  • No.
  • It’s personal, and I’d prefer to keep it private.
  • That doesn’t work for me. How about x
  • I respect your opinion, but I’d rather do it my way.
  • That is behavior that I don’t tolerate.
  • To each their own.
  • I’m not looking for feedback right now, but if I’m looking for input later, I’ll let you know.
  • Oh, I’m not sure I agree; I thought x
  • When you did/said x, I wasn’t okay with that.
  • I don’t accept your apology.
  • I can accept your apology once you’ve addressed the problem.
  • Hey, could you help me with x?
  • I need to stop.
  • I need some time to myself.

Just remember, your thoughts, feelings, and opinions are what make you unique, and you can change your mind later, so don’t be afraid to say them out loud. Work through things. Don’t dodge them.

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