Sorry for my absence guys, I’m super exhausted lately and have just started studying my fourth foreign language!
ikigurushi-blog1 reblogged
My order arrived today from @acornpress - Thanks so much, guys, you’re all fantastic and I would recommend acornpress 100 times over. ☆
Here we have my two keyrings for sale - Allura from VLD and my own character, Elvý! They are 2.5″ each and are selling for £7.50 including worldwide shipping.
The past seven months have been gruelling; I have been battling aggressive cancer and although I have finished treatment (my scan is in twelve days which will tell me if I need further treatment or not) I am unable to work or go to school. All the money I make will go towards my savings, so that I can achieve my dreams when I am in remission - studying abroad, travelling, and being with the people that make me happiest. I appreciate every single order I get.
I also sell stickers - You can see the full range on my Tictail! Commissions are open, too!
Okay!! Before I head to bed I’m gonna make a quick list of what I owe and what I’m waiting for - this is BY NO MEANS MEANT TO RUSH YOU OR PRESSURE YOU!! Take all the time you need. It’s just so I can put everything into a tracker more easily tomorrow!! ♡ Feel free to ignore this!
Everything I owe will be done tomorrow! Goodnight ♡
“Take a deep breath.”
His fingers are curled into his hair as he tries to remain sitting up, dizziness crashing over him in waves. The table provides good support, and he slumps against the edge of it, barely upholding his own weight.❝ I can’t – ❞ he panted out, lowering his head to the wooden tabletop as dizziness shot through him once again. ❝ I can’t breathe. ❞
“Why aren’t you eating?”
❝ I’m just not hungry, ❞ The Rat mumbled, keeping his eyes low. ❝ I think I’m just… A bit overheated, maybe. I’ll be fine once I get some air. ❞
His eyes raised again to meet the other, a flicker of fear in them as he promptly looked aside.
❝ Is that alright, if I go outside for a little while? ❞
“When was the last time you slept?”
❝ Ah - Last night, ❞ He mumbled, though there were no real effort behind his words. He let his head nod for a moment, exhausted, before he jerked upright and continued to focus on his work before himself. ❝ I got a few hours… ❞
It’s a lie, and they’re both aware; Yuki, however, doesn’t feel like admitting it.
❝ I’ll sleep once I get everything done. ❞
“Did you just go throw up?”
❝ No. I just needed some fresh air, ❞ He murmured, planting himself back down at the table, and staring down at the wooden frame. His words are a little too quick and a little too stiff; its clear he’s lying, but he’ll be damned if he admitted it just then. Yuki settled his elbows against the table’s edge, trying to ignore the dull pounding which had started in his temples in favour of staring at the cup of green tea before himself.
❝ Don’t worry so much, alright? ❞
asa-sohma
❝ Me? Ah - No, everything is fine. ❞
Perhaps he had been spacing out a little too much - with a smile, he brushed aside her concerns.
❝ I guess I was daydreaming. ❞
Relieved to hear he was fine and simply daydreaming, Asa nodded, smiling in return.
“I’m sorry if I distracted you from you thoughts but you nearly knocked over the glass of water.” She indicated to said glass.
❝ Sorry -- No, it’s fine. I wasn’t thinking of anything important, anyway. ❞
There’s a smile, and he moves said glass away from his reach before moving to settle his elbows against the table’s edge. ❝ I was just thinking about - well. I’m a bit cabin fevered, I guess. Maybe I’l go for a walk. ❞
ikigurushi-blog1 reblogged
asa-sohma-a-deactivated20210406
❝ Me? Ah - No, everything is fine. ❞
Perhaps he had been spacing out a little too much - with a smile, he brushed aside her concerns.
❝ I guess I was daydreaming. ❞
☀️!!! TOHRU AND I WILL TAKE CARE OF YOU.
He’d come home from school and all but collapsed onto the couch; it offered somewhere to lie down that didn’t involve the effort of climbing the stairs. His bag lay on the floor by his head and his shoes were kicked haphazardly off, leaving the teen to get comfortable and shut his heavy eyes.
He hadn’t been aware that he had fallen asleep until he was being woken. He blinked his eyes open at the feeling of a cool hand on his cheek, and his bleary eyes struggled to focus on Tohru hovering worriedly above him. No… He wasn’t meant to make her worry.
❝ Miss Honda, I’m fine, ❞ He began, struggling to find the words. ❝ I just needed to sleep… ❞
Slowly, but insistently, the Rat began to sit up; his arms trembled under his weight but he managed to get int a sitting position, at least. ❝ Please, don’t worry. I wasn’t meant to make you worry… ❞
❄️ // @akki-sohma
He wasn’t sure, honestly, why he was walking amidst the lashing rain - perhaps it was some form of self destruction, as he knew the dangers of it. And yet, he couldn’t bring himself to turn around, to wander back in the direction of home - cabin-fevered, he had been longing for days to escape the confines of the house. And now he was here, he was relishing in the freedom and open land - He didn’t want to go back, despite the chill settling into his bones.
At least, he hadn’t wished to, until he saw a familiar figure approaching.
At which point, he wanted to run. He wanted to turn tail and hide - but it was fruitless. He had been spotted by the other - and as they neared, he felt himself frozen to the spot.
❝ Akito, ❞ He spoke, voice short. ❝ What are you doing out here, in the rain? ❞
Perhaps it was hypocritical of him to speak in such a way - here he was, dripping wet and shaking like a leaf. But to see the other out was… strange. Had she really wandered so far from the main house? Unless she was planning to arrive at Shigure’s – No. Yuki swallowed tensely at the thought, trying to settle his shivering.
❝ You should maybe… Go back. It’s cold. ❞
Using shoulder as a pillow!
Letting his guard down was one thing Yuki never knew - and never liked. It felt unsafe. Uncomfortable - he avoided it as best he could. However, it was duly noted that he was human (to some extent anyway) and, as such, sometimes these things could not be fully avoided.
As Yuki felt his eyes grow heavy, he reminded himself that his futon was only two rooms over - And yet he couldn’t seem to pry himself from his spot on the floor, propped up against the doorframe. Perhaps a minute - closing his eyes for just a minute - couldn’t hurt. He’d been kept awake these past few nights, be it with work or insomnia - he deserved a break, didn’t he?
It seemed more became of it than he thought - As he next stirred from his slumber, it was to Hatori kneeling before him, guiding him by the arms to presumably try and get him somewhere more comfortable. Yuki’s eyelids flickered ever-so-slightly, but he brushed away any semblance of consciousness in favour of more sleep - he never was good with waking up.
❝ No, ❞ The Rat began, easing Hatori’s hands away from himself, as he rested back against the frame once more. ❝ Just let me sleep here, Hatori. ❞
The words came out in a quiet slur, laced with sleep, but they stood firm - he didn’t want to be moved. Instead, Yuki merely let himself lean forwards, and suddenly he had his head tucked into the crook of the Dragon’s collar. There was no room for argument, as Yuki was practically a rag doll in sleep, and it seemed he’d chosen his victim.
That’s what you get, Hatori, for trying to wake him.
ikigurushi-blog1 reblogged
❝ …okay, but are you really okay or are you just saying that so I’ll stop staring at you? ❞
❝ Both. Your staring is making me uneasy. ❞
Before I log off for the night, however - I want to talk a bit about a few people in this community and a bit about my health, too. I’m really happy right now and... Yes. I think this is the right time to post this!
On June 1st, 2016, fifteen days after my seventeenth b-day, I was diagnosed with aggressive cancer. On January 13th, 2017, I was released from hospital for the final time after having my 30th treatment.
I have not got the all-clear yet; don’t be confused. As I post this, I have not been told I am cancer free. That will hopefully happen around early/mid-February time, after I have my PET scan. No, as I write this, it is because I have just completed my final chemotherapy - hopefully, my final treatment altogether. I have been fighting this since June; I have had 30 treatments. Six R-CHOP, six methotrexate (intrathecal), fifteen radiotherapies and three methotrexate (intravenous). It’s been a long road paved with misery. But that’s not why I’m writing this. I have just finished my final treatment - I’m not officially cancer free yet - But I am finished the hardest part. I hope.
There are a few people in this community who, whether I speak to often or not, mean the world to me and really have kept me... happy. Grounded. Cheerful. Through all of the hardship, they’ve been amazing friends. @hatori-sohma, @onixiri and @catsarefoolish; you guys are so kind. I owe you so much and so many thanks. For keeping me grounded and happy through it all.
I have my PET scan soon which will tell me if I am officially cancer free. I am very optimistic and, realistically, I have a 90% chance of being cancer-free in mid february. How fantastic is that?
However... This post comes on a slightly sadder note, as well.
My cancer was so aggressive and so vicious that... There is a low to moderate chance of it relapsing. My largest tumour was the size of a small melon, in my chest - But we found cancer above and below my diaphragm. Worse, yet, we found it in my kidney.
This means that, due to it being found in my kidney, I am at an increased risk of relapse. Now, despite my risk of relapsing being higher than normal, I am still probably cancer free and, for the next two years, will be under close observation - after that, the risk of relapse goes down remarkably. If I get through these next two years without relapse, it’s unlikely I will relapse at all.
But the reason this is sad... the reason I am telling you all about this, is that I have made a decision.
Should I relapse, or should I get bad news that the cancer has returned in the future... I will be refusing treatment and allowing it to run it’s course. I have been through chemotherapy, lumbar punctures, biopsies and radiotherapy at the age of seventeen; I can’t do it all again.
If anything should happen and it returns... I won’t make it through it. And that’s a reality I have chosen to accept. This, if it relapses, will kill me.
But I cannot dwell on the negatives; Life is too short. I have faced death head on and... I can’t live my life in fear of death. So for now, I will be celebrating the fact that I am finished my treatments - And when I am cancer free, officially, you will know all about it. <3
Thankyou all.
-- Nísa.
ikigurushi-blog1 reblogged
@hatsuuharu // starter.
❝ Hatsuharu – ❞ he calls into the brush and leaves, eyeing the vicinity for any vague trace of the Ox - He was cold, bitterly cold, and he could only imagine Haru felt the same way. ❝ It’s cold. We need to head back - so just follow my voice, okay? ❞
Haru’s sense of direction was hopeless, something they both knew - But as Yuki shivered, he couldn’t help but glance at the looming skies and think of how much he wanted to get home - it looked like it would begin raining, soon, and neither of them could afford to get sick.
He needed to find the other, sooner rather than later. As long as the other had stopped wandering, they couldn’t miss one another, right?
❝ Haru? ❞
The snow was beautiful and looking up at it from where he laid in the field made him forget about almost anything. From being lost to the feeling of being entirely alone. Though as beautiful the snow was, it was cold and sharp as it bit at his fingers and froze the tips as well as biting his cheeks. The blanket of snow covering him WAS NOT at all welcoming but he felt himself too frozen to move. Maybe just a LITTLE longer he would do such but for right now — he felt drowned out but the bitter silence. Until he came to only to hear a recognizable voice echoing through the air being carried with the wind.
Sitting up, finally able to feel himself again, head turned toward the voice — narrowing his eyes through the somber colored paths of freshly powered snow.
“ Yuki ?” — brushing the flakes from his coat, standing up to be hopefully more visible through the scattered white land with shredded brown leaves, eyes glanced toward the voice again and through the skyline to find someone walking toward him. All the energy he had within him was present once pushing himself forward and beginning to lightly jog toward the specific Sohma’s direction. The pattering of the soles of his boots was making his heart race — scared that he had been lonely for that entire time. Even if the expression on his face laid to rest in a frozen expression, he was BEYOND happy to see him again.
Yuki’s eyes trailed after the voice, and he soon found himself staring at the nearing figure; He wrapped his arms around himself and let a chill run through him, as he exhaled a sharp, whitened breath. ❝ Haru, ❞ He breathed out, soon standing before the other; He moved to reach out, gently taking his cousin’s hand. ❝ I thought you were lost again - I’ve been wandering all over looking for you. ❞
Though, his tone is not scolding, but relieved; He tugs on Haru’s hand, trying to urge him to walk, too. Yuki doesn’t feel like staying in the cold much longer, and his shivering makes this clear.
❝ We’re not far from Shigure’s, thankfully. Come back with me for a while, yes? You’ll catch your death out here. ❞
ikigurushi-blog1 reblogged
@theoxofthezodiac // continued.
Hatsuharu’s grip was firm, and Yuki didn’t argue as he was ushered in the direction of the convenience store; Before he knew it, they were standing under the canopy. His hand was cold, and he gripped onto Hatsuharu a little tighter as he felt shivers beginning to wrack his frame.
❝ This was a stupid idea. I’m sorry for insisting we come out. ❞
His violet orbs were focused on the ground, and he sighed before letting his head fall back to stare at the angry skies. This was his fault - if he was to fall ill, it would be his own doing.
❝ We need to get back to Shigure’s. It looks like this canopy won’t keep the rain out for long. ❞
❝ You don’t need to apologize, Yuki, you can’t control the weather. Besides, the rain was unexpected anyway. But you’re right, we should go back to Shigure’s house. ❞ Haru looked around, squinting in vain trying to see where exactly they were through the rain. ❝ Can you see which way we would go to get there? I can’t really tell. ❞
❝ It’s this way, ❞ He replied, shuffling his grip on Haru’s hand so he could lead him out from under their shelter - they were drenched within a minute, but there was no time for that. ❝ Let’s hurry. ❞
He’s walking briskly, arms folded and hands shoved in under his arms as he tried to shelter himself from the harsh chill. It took some time to figure out where they were, but they got there in the end - Yuki sighed in relief as they came across a familiar house in the distance.
❝ Thank goodness. ❞
Hurrying onwards with Hatsuharu in tow, they were soon standing in the entrance of Shigure’s home, dripping with rain - Yuki sighed as he began to wring out his pale locks of hair, and glanced up to Hatsuharu apologetically. ❝ This was my fault. I’m sorry. ❞