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@swishyhairbarnes / swishyhairbarnes.tumblr.com

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reblogged

I find it funny how many men seem more concerned with the possibility of a statistically unlikely false rape accusation than they are by the statistical likelihood that a woman will be sexually assaulted or raped at least once in her lifetime.

Cause all men rape?

hahaha Congratulations on so thoroughly missing the point of that post! Where in that paragraph did I state that “all men rape?” Nowhere. 

Where in that paragraph did I mention men raping at all? 

👏🏻 Absolutely 👏🏻 nowhere 👏🏻. I didn’t say anything about men raping women because that wasn’t the point I was making.

So rather than actually reading and understanding what I said, you took something I didn’t say and proved the point of what I did. The point being that a lot of men worry so much more about rape accusations that are statistically unlikely to happen, rather than worry about the fact that 1 in 6 women will be the victim of an attempted or completed rape at least once in their lifetime (US specific), and 1 in 3 women faces some form of sexual violence (worldwide).

ONE IN THREE. Think about your life. I assume you know a few women...odds are that at least one of those women has some story about being assaulted or raped. Probably one she’s never shared with anyone. That doesn’t bother you?

What bothers you is the insinuation that “all men rape” when I never said anything about men raping in the first place, and no one ever seriously claims that “all men rape” anyway.

I see.

Edit: Do not go to that guys blog, y’all. I don’t think that all men rape and/or assault. I don’t think that all men into BDSM as depicted on his blog rape and/or assault, but his comment to me combined with his blog content increases the odds that he has some fucked up thoughts and opinions on women at best.

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potty mouth bird

[Caption:

[WOMAN (OFF-CAMERA):] He’s gonna come sit by you.

[MAN:] That’s crazy!

[WOMAN (LAUGHING):] Try to pet him.

[MAN:] No, nah, he’s got that big-ass beak on him!

[BIRD:] Fuck you!

[MAN (LAUGHING):] Fuck you?!]

One of my favorite videos 😂

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parskis

i swear to god, men raising their voice is the most terrifying thing in the whole world. they dont understand, like its an immediate panic response, game over

I actually had no idea women found this so scary

my downstairs neighbors fight on a regular basis, and every time he starts yelling i’m a little afraid he’s going to kill her. i have no reason to think this except that he is a man and he is angry

My math teacher has a loud voice and a temper and he scares the living shit out of me almost everyday. He’s made me and other kids cry more than once and he and his teacher buddies make a joke out of terrifying students.

this was women in general? i knew my gf didn’t like it but I was unaware if this affected most women

Yes, it does

As a woman, I had no idea it effected other women like this. I was too afraid to even talk about it. I thought I was weak. Thanks for bringing attention to this.

My dad thinks it’s funny that I used to cry when he raised his voice. I freak out whenever some one does. Once my director did, and I started crying I couldn’t stop. I’m glad to see I’m not alone…

This is so important– seeing how common this is– and I also want you all to know that this is not normal. It isn’t something instinctively ingrained into women, to be afraid of men. There is no natural state of men being a threat that women constantly have to be afraid of. This is cultural. So many women and girls here have a mutual understanding of this feeling, and I think it really shows an unsettling truth about our society, particularly about how men are raised to act and how so many women have this defensive reaction gradually develop. It’s so important that these people have their voices heard, because it teaches us about problems that we just can’t deny the existence of any longer.

I’m glad I’m not the only one

My fellow men, pay attention. I didn’t realize how scary this could be until one of my exes explained it to me, and it’s heartbreaking.

Also, when we move too much during an argument, or lean forward, it’s scary, and I never knew. I was even a little insulted at first, because surely she didn’t think I would hurt her. But see, that doesn’t matter. It wasn’t a sign that she mistrusted me specifically; it’s a conditioned response. (Although if you keep doing it once you realize it scares her, she SHOULDN’T trust you.)

Not every woman has been physically harmed by a man she trusted, but every woman KNOWS a woman who has.

I used to be horrible about this, because I didn’t realize how intimidating it was. I didn’t understand why the woman I was with clammed up or tried to tell me what she thought I wanted to hear, and I only got angrier, and acted even more like an asshole. It was wrong. It was abusive. It didn’t matter if I INTENDED it that way; it was still emotionally abusive. And it was inexcusable.

I get that when passions are high, and when you’re frustrated, it’s a natural tendency to let your voice get louder, to shout and gesture and lean forward. But you can train yourself to do better. You can train yourself to keep more of an even tone, to refrain from large and fast gestures, to not lean into her personal space. I did. I’m not perfect at it yet, but goddamn it, I WILL be.

Don’t tell me it’s too hard, that you just can’t do it, or that you “shouldn’t have to.” I’m 53 years old and just now getting the hang of it, and if this old dog can learn something new, so can you.

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elfwreck

Note to guys: It really, REALLY doesn’t matter if you’re thinking, “but I would never…”

History is littered with the bodies of women who believed a man “would never.” This includes women killed by men who honestly, deeply, truly believed they “would never”… right up until she said that one thing or moved in just that way and he just got so mad, just that once, and pushed her or punched her or slashed her or shot her… just once, y’know, to shut her up, or because she was flinching and didn’t she know that HE’S NOT LIKE THAT and I’LL TEACH HER TO BE AFRAID OF ME…

We are trained, from infancy, that Men With Loud Voices are a source of pain from which we cannot escape, and attempts to escape may result in more pain. And as soon as we’re old enough to comprehend a world broader than our immediate circle, a world that extends into the past and will run into the future, we realize that there is no way, no way at all, to tell which men “would never” and which men “would never… except if.”

We live or die on that “if.” And any man who doesn’t like facing that hyper-vigilance can work on fixing OTHER MEN, not women’s fear.

The reaction shouldn’t be “not all men are like that;” it should be “no woman should have to live in fear.”

It’s telling that so many people will hear a story of long-term abuse and say, “why did she stay with him?” and not “why did he treat her like that?”

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plaggnoir

This made me cry.

Don’t skip over this.

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rainboflg

“EVERY WOMAN KNOWS AT LEAST ONE WOMAN WHO HAS BEEN PHYSICALLY HARMED BY A MAN”

Think long and hard on this, men…

always reblog.

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Y’all have a lot of nerve saying that immigrants are going to destroy “your” culture by simply existing with their different religions, languages, customs, food, etc. as if Europe and the US haven’t actively gone to countries and regions all over the world and literally destroyed their culture by toppling their governments, killing their citizens, bringing in destructive corporations that drain their resources and force them out, and purposefully stomping out their languages, religions, and traditions. 

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Can y’all help a girl out? A little while ago I saw a post about “good descriptive writing” according to some book written by a man that contained three excerpts of what he deemed good writing that were........really fucking bad. Like, really really bad. All three were descriptions of women. I think one of them was of an indigenous woman? Something about the way she looked at the main character meant she was in love with him?

I can’t remember if I saw this post on Tumblr or Twitter, but I’ve been searching for it forever with no luck. 😩

Edit: Found by @witchaj, thank you. Bless youuuu! It’s as awful as I remember.

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