ROASTY TOASTY SHITTY POSTY

y’all: finally the EVIL summer is over!!!!!!!! getting ready for my one true bae fall!!!!!! pumpkin spice and aesthetic here i COME!!!!!!

me, a northener: 

me, a southerner:

stay in school kids. Stay in school and literally never ever leave. live in the air conditioning vents and dont make a sound so they wont know youre there and you wont have to pay rent. At night you can come out and eat textbooks as food

i couldnt help myself and made another, and one that looks 100x better

Reblog the rare Satsmile in the next 30 seconds for your crops to flourish, your skin to clear up, your bank account to be stabilized, your student loans to be repaid, your depression to be cured, your life to be in balance.

This is our most popular post and I’m so proud.

if i was a cryptid i’d just be a guy in a multiple-floor office building who gets on the elevator with everyone else, but i’d never get off on any floors. people would only see me enter, never leave. occasionally i will ask abstract and paradoxical questions that makes people question reality. when they try to describe the “weird guy in the elevator this morning” they can’t seem to remember what I look like. my face is blurry on all the security footage.

trust me i wanna be That Bitch that moisturizes every night and journals regularly and drinks 5 bathtubs worth of water daily 

it’s just not gunna happen

This is the rarest and purest picture I have of myself, smiling, laughing, looking like I’m alive and having a genuinely good time

Blessed Image of a Cryptid Sighting