eldritchat-blog reblogged
abrideoffire-archived-deactivat
send me a “☁” and i will put my itunes on shuffle, pick my favorite line from the first song that comes up and use it for a starter.
eldritchat-blog reblogged
rick and morty: the rickshank redemption sentence starters
– spoilers ahead if you have yet to watch this episode! i also kept in a bunch of quotes about the damn szechuan sauce just to make myself laugh.
‘ anyway, that’s how i escaped from space prison. ’ ‘ i just got my sixth promotion this week and i still don’t know what i do! ’ ‘ it’s great to have you back no matter where we are, but wouldn’t you like to go home? ’ ‘ get out of the booth, take all your clothes off, and fold yourself twelve times. ’ ‘ you cheap insect fucks didn’t think i was worth your best equipment? ’ ‘ relaxed, enough? ’ ‘ he is the smartest man in the universe. ’ ‘ well, when you’re not sure what you do for a living, you can make your own rules. ’ ‘ you’ve hardly touched your pills. ’ ‘ stop saying his name. he abandoned us! ’ ‘ horses live longer than tortoises now. is that what you want? ’ ‘ maybe i just want you to care if i run away yelling! ’ ‘ admit it, you’re going crazy cooped up in here. ’ ‘ yeah well, tough titties. ’ ‘ that depends on who breaks first: me or the titty. ’ ‘ if we stay here we’ll die along with all your memories. ’ ‘ oh, that sounds cool. i can get what i want and you can say goodbye. ’ ‘ fine, but i’m driving. ’ ‘ hey, i like being 35. i can rent a car now. ’ ‘ they weaponized the eiffel tower! ’ ‘ no one’s special to him. not even himself. ’ ‘ i’m not right! i was using ghoulish overkill. ’ ‘ we’re going to the day it all began… and ended. the moment that changed everything. ’ ‘ i’d like to get a 10 piece mcnugget and a bunch of the szechuan sauce. like as much as you’re allowed to give me. ’ ‘ in 1998 they had this promotion for the disney film mulan where they created a new sauce for the nuggets called szechuan sauce and it’s DELICIOUS. ’ ‘ wow, this sauce is fucking amazing! you said it was promoting a movie? ’ ‘ i used to wear blue pants. ’ ‘ well, well, well if it isn’t us. ’ ‘ nobody has to know about that. we can put it right back and pretend we never saw it. ’ ‘ i’ll make it up as i go. ’ ‘ oh my god… i have that exact same top! ’ ‘ that’s my sister. this used to be my home. ’ ‘ imagine doing anything you want and hopping to a timeline where you never did it. ’ ‘ excuse me? we don’t pass on this. who do you think you are? ’ ‘ i heard sci-fi noises. did you make a breakthrough? ’ ‘ i only wanted to stop by here for a quick ‘i told you so.’ ’ ‘ why would you do that? what is the matter with you people? ’ ‘ i’ve got it… i’ve fucking got it!!! ’ ‘ awesome possum! ’ ‘ yeah, that’s the three lines of math that separates my life as a man from my life as an unfeeling ghost. ’ ‘ you can alter anything you want about a totally fabricated origin story. ’ ‘ lovely. not only is my plan screwed up, i also forgot how to improvise! ’ ‘ he’s a spy, blow him up. ’ ‘ i’m gonna go take a shit. ’ ‘ he’s not a lawyer. we just keep him here because he’s fun. ’ ‘ i say: fuck you. ’ ‘ you killed him because you were jealous of him. that’s pretty obvious. ’ ‘ what? no! i don’t want to see your pog collection. ’ ‘ let’s not suck the ghost of his dick too hard. ’ ‘ he’s not a villain, but he shouldn’t be your hero. he’s more like a demon or… a super fucked up god. ’ ‘ i know you’re too stupid to get this, but you’re really fucking this up right now. ’ ‘ i wasn’t going to let her die, you fucking moron! ’ ‘ you’re a serious fucking idiot. you basically killed us all! ’ ‘ who’s stupid now, bitch? ’ ‘ i’m almost proud. ’ ‘ look, i’m not proud to share this, but the truth is i just kept crawling and it kept working. ’ ‘ guess who dismantled the government? ’ ‘ please don’t leave me again. ’ ‘ is there any light beer left? it’s insane what you miss in prison. ’ ‘ no, you’re right. where’s the vodka? ’ ‘ i’m sorry to hear that, sweetie. i hope i had nothing to do with that. ’ ‘ i better tend to him before he changes his mind and doesn’t move out. ’ ‘ but never him. you wanna know why? because he crossed me. ’ ‘ take it easy – that’s dark! ’ ‘ welcome to the darkest year of our adventures! ’ ‘ if you tell them i said any of this, i’ll deny it and they’ll take my side because i’m a hero and now you’re gonna have to go do whatever i say – forever! ’ ‘ and i’ll go out and i’ll find more of that mulan szechuan teriyaki dipping sauce because that’s what this is all about – that’s my one-armed man. ’ ‘ i’m not driven by avenging my dead family, that was fake. ’ ‘ i’m driven by finding that mcnugget sauce. i want that mulan mcnugget sauce! ’ ‘ that’s my series arc. if it takes nine seasons! ’ ‘ i want my mcnugget dipping sauce. szechuan sauce! ’ ‘ that’s what’s gonna take us all the way to the end! ’ ‘ what are you talking about? ’ ‘ nine more seasons. nine more seasons until i get that dipping szechuan sauce or 97 more years! ’ ‘ fine. fuck it. who cares? ’
eldritchat-blog reblogged
im dying, send help
eldritchat-blog reblogged
eldritchat-blog reblogged
flugenious-deactivated20200805
black hat + baking chat w/ @eldritchat
eldritchat-blog reblogged
Greetings villains and other insignificants! For a limited time only, have a brand new, IND. PRIV. & SEL Black Hat on your dashboard written by Rabbit! What do you got to do to take advantage of this AMAZING OFFER? Well, simply LIKE AND OR REBLOG this and perhaps you will be graced with the most money hungry eldritch abomination this side of this site.
OOC: So, have to head to work- probably won’t be active again till tomorrow but who knows. Might have some stuff up tonight.
❝ Being a hero means fighting back even when it seems impossible. ❞
>>> WEIRDMAGGEDON STARTERS : accepting
This thing was being such a goddamn pest- an inconvenience for Black Hat INC. as data, files, and SALES MATERIAL was going into the trash. And obviously no one else had been able to take care of the problem.
A sneer lifted up upon atramentous features, exposing even more of SHARK-LIKE teeth to the girl on the screen. ❝That’s just stupidity- though, the words are synonymous. And they both lead to the same outcome- death.-—-❞If she was a PHYSICAL thing then he would have already slaughtered her.
Anonymous asked:
❝ Ah! Help! The nachos tricked me! ❞ - nervousgenius
>>> WEIRDMAGGEDON STARTERS : accepting
‘Course, it wasn’t exactly UNUSUAL for the hatted being to take opportunities of this nature- you know, meaningless little scares, or TRAUMA-INDUCING or even physically degrading traps, events, things of the sort. Actually anything that could be seen as an innocent thing had about a half-and-half probability of not being that anymore.
So, walking past the scientist as he hexed the plate without much of a blink of an eye, there was that EVIDENT evil laugh of his as gooey cheese tendrils coupled with sharp chips tried to latch onto bagged face. ❝Oh and when you’re done with that, Flug, I have a diabolic new idea for a product. See me immediately. -—-❞
eldritchat-blog reblogged
sarybuu-deactivated20190323
A bunch of Black Hats.
Black Hat from Villainous
Art by me
eldritchat-blog reblogged
eldritchat-blog reblogged
That’s a cool and horrifying shape-shifting evil villain you got there. 👌👀
❛ — que ? with all due respect senior ’ i’d prefer if i sat this one out . this gathering is a lot bigger than i expected . i’ll be in the cadillac . ❜ no , his sudden reluctance is surely just his nerves . or perhaps he didn’t want to embarrass himself . or better yet , he didn’t want to bring shame to the black hat incorporation should his anxiety implode as his employer’s wrath would bring a tenfold .
It was AS ignorant to believe Black Hat didn’t expect this from Flug as it was for the scientist to assume he was going to GET HIS WAY at all. No, the man was necessary for this little get-together of villains- after all, he needed someone to be his hands upon his REQUEST; and generally, Flug was MARGINALLY the best choice for this. ❝Don’t be stupid- you don’t have a choice in the matter. Now get the stuff together and don’t make me wait.-—-❞
Anonymous asked:
You have me constantly visiting your blog just to listen to the music! I can't wait until I get to read your threads I'm sure they'll be great!
OOC: Glad you like my incredibly weird taste in music and autoplay for him! And hopefully won’t be keeping everyone waiting too long- wouldn’t say wonderful though. Okay is more than likely.
