@sidneyellwoods / sidneyellwoods.tumblr.com
its so insane to me how people will maintain the perspective that occupying armies have to fight by carpet bombing villages and refugee camps because theyre dealing with an enemy that blends in with civilian populations and not realize or refuse to admit thats because theyre fighting civilians who are forced to take up arms against an occupying power
A Series of Seaside Mishaps.
when i say "romanticise the ordinary" i don't mean "hide all aspects of your life that do not fit under some kind of aesthetic" but rather "strive to find beauty in all the little things because i promise you, happiness can be found everywhere"
“imagine caring so much about fiction” imagine being so lame that you scoff at the timeless human practice of falling in love with art and stories
THE GOLDFINCH (2019)
More than anything I was relieved that in my unfamiliar babbling-and-wanting-to-talk state I'd stopped myself from blurting the thing I'd never said, even though it was something we both knew well enough without me saying out loud to him in the street - which was, of course, I love you.
I've Endured, Now What?
Blue Iris - Mary Oliver / So This Is All I Will Ever Be? - Fatima Aamer Bilal / Vive, Vive - Traci Brimhall
it goes against so much of what i stand for to share "palestinians are humans, they have hobbies, they have pets, they laugh and cry" kind of posts because i've spent so much of my life and career completely rejecting the notion that we should humanize ourselves, that we should ever be defensive, that we should entertain this racism at all
but it breaks my heart when i have to share them from people in gaza, who are using their five minutes of internet connection, their 25% of battery charge collected from a macguyvered car battery, emotionally exhausted, thirsty and hungry, sleeping in schools that have turned into refugee shelters and still making the time to say "please, i am human too, i am still alive, please fight for me" in english to appeal to the only people who have the power to help
i shared a tweet from a jjk artist in gaza i follow about a bts photocard being found in the middle of the rubble. even the love of anime and kpop and sports is no longer just a hobby, but an appeal to humanity. what was once a source of joy is now proof of life.
the worst part is that you won't find this content in arabic. palestinians don't post like this in arabic. but when they translate themselves, they recognize that they must humanize themselves first. it's an unspoken understanding of dehumanization, one that has dictated a whole region's understanding of the value of human life. in arabic they speak with dignity, with anger, with sorrow. in english, they appeal for their existence.
i share these posts not just because we have to reach everyone we can, because im being asked to and i will not refuse. but i also share them because they're evidence of how deep the racism has run. at what dehumanization leads to. of war crime after war crime. this too i will not forget.
the thing is you are going to get older and you are going to die. you don't have unlimited time on earth. you have to spend all your time on your phone now
No little german boy! Don’t go to the western front!
Oh mein gott, Elly! Zis trench ist full of müstard gaßen!
when the mutual pining and obliviousness is so good you just want to bang their heads together like rocks and listen to the hollow sounds it would make
honestly i dont need therapy i need a machine to go into my body and manually stretch all my muscles and crack all my joints and then i need the machine to go into my brain and deep clean it with soapy hot water
Vienna
I died but I came back exactly the same. You though, I came back and you were wrong. Did the fact of my dying really damage you that much? Was bringing me back worth what it cost you? Would it have been better to just leave me?
i love it when characters are codependent. i love it when losing someone feels like losing a limb. i love it when two people "complete" each other so wholly and terribly that one can barely function without the other. i love it when the fear of losing the only person who understands them is so all-consuming they'll destroy anything to stay together, including themselves.
“You have no idea how many people come in here talking about warrior cats. I don’t know what it does for autistic brains, but it does it,” - Psychologist who diagnosed me with autism last month
im glad everyone enjoyed this post but to be clear.... this was not my therapist. this was a doctor specializing in diagnosing autism in AFAB people who was evaluating me. my therapist has to listen to me talk about warrior cats weekly
are u ever sick w longing. and i don't just mean romantic longing. i mean longing for a place you barely get to see, longing for friends you no longer have, longing for feelings you might have left behind in your childhood, longing for creativity, longing for a rich and more expansive life, longing for less inhibition. longing for more passion. longing for ur life to be so incandescent w something it thaws all the frost in ur bones. are u ever so consumed w it it rends ur heart in two. do u understand me
this is not just "look out the window and sigh" longing. i'm talking you're at the grocery store and you're suddenly hit w a wave of grief bc you don't have it. you don't have whatever it is you ache so badly to have. you go about your everyday life and yet it throbs under your skin moment by moment, almost as though it has a life of its own. that's the kind of longing i mean.
