shapeshifting-hero-zion-blog reblogged
splattermemes-deactivated202007
random things my professors have said (starters)
Just a bunch of random quotes from my professors during my first semester of college. Enjoy and feel free to make any changes !
- “The heart is a dramatic organ. The bowels are also pretty dramatic.”
- “I don’t remember why I put that picture of a water slide there.”
- “By that time, you’ll have figured out my brain. I haven’t yet.”
- “Woah, you have big shoes.”
- “Zero is hero.”
- “Make sure you don’t take my picture. I’m copyrighted.”
- “We don’t really know what it’s like to be a rat or a pigeon.”
- “Hello. Welcome to the planet.”
- “I set you up.”
- “You wouldn’t be able to tell if your toe fell off in the middle of the night.”
- “I know you are a millionaire. I don’t want to talk to you.”
- “You don’t have a clue.”
- “I’ve taught you to see the fun in pain.”
- “Get rid of the dog mask.”
- “I actually think nasty things when I smile.”
- “I know you don’t want to see me. I don’t want to see you too.”
- “I’m just making stuff up.”
- “The other day, someone called me nurturing. I was like, ‘you’re ruining my reputation’!”
- “I said the exam is NEXT Thursday. Don’t scare people.”
- “I wasn’t drunk, but I was acting like it.”
- “Are you glaring at me?”
- “I profoundly believe that humans are absurd creatures.”
- “It’s my job to embarrass you.”
- “When I was young–I’m still young, right?”
- “Uh oh. [grunt] I’m okay.”
- “If you solve this, I’ll buy you lunch.”
- “I’m going to tell you a story about farts.”
- “I know a lot about corn.”
- “Wow, you are super. *high fives*”
- “I didn’t do that!”
- “I saw you walking past the library, and you looked as though you were lost in thought.”
- “I’m glad to see that you’ve decided to stay.”
- “In the game, you can die many times. In life, you can die one time.”
- “This is just dessert. There’s a banquet coming.”
- “What do you call it? A ‘snake’, right?”
- “Don’t yell at me.”
- “Impossible means ‘I am possible’.”
- “You’re completely aroused.”
- “There’s a stop sign. You have to stop.”
- “I like sleep.”
- “No one likes to feel pain. Actually–never mind, I don’t want to ask.”
- “Do I sound cynical? I’m trying to be nice.”
- “Dude, you wanna compete with Jimmy Hendrix? Fuck you.”
- “I don’t want to talk to most people. It’s not a gender thing, please just go away.”
- “We’re making tortillas now.”
- “I’m not very nice.”
- “Be careful, somebody might beat you up.”
- “I can say nice things, but if you remind me, I’ll deny it.”
- “The world’s fucked.”
