it lives where i live

part four

tags: healing, angst, hurt/comfort, childhood friends to ????, hopeful ending

wc: 2k

note: this was a weird thing for me to finish. i feel like i’ve changed so much as a writer and this chapter reflects that. i changed the pov for this chapter because i felt like it was important to see all of touya’s growth and inner turmoil directly. idk y’all this was my baby and it’s weird to say it’s done (also claps for bea for actually finishing a chaptered fic). alright love u be good

Touya starts to get it.

He has no idea what it is–only that he feels different, and he thinks that’s a good thing, maybe. He assumes it is, because there’s been considerably more enthusiastic head nods from his therapist through his screen each week.

It’s new. The therapist, anyway–the Hero Commission sanctioned therapist’s check ins (a generous title, considering the lack of any real therapy) had fizzled out and stopped all together soon enough, and it was at the tail end of another one sided phone conversation with Natsuo that he’d heard of a shrink with a reputation for treating those who’d been harmed by heroes.

“She has a surprisingly booked schedule,” Natsuo had said, half in jest and not without a tangible weight. If nothing else, Touya was curious–and bored. With nothing better to do, he decided to try a session. Before he knew it, he’d sat through the better part of four.

He doesn’t talk much–mostly because he’d talked a whole lot on a national scale and really, what else could he possibly have to say?–but lately, he’s found himself full of questions he doesn’t know how to ask. It’s hard–he doesn’t feel particularly brave these days, and to get his mouth to shift into the shapes of the words is enough of a challenge. But he tries–he figures that has to count for something.

it lives where i live

part 3!! i didn’t think about this for a while and then wrote this all at once. i am fascinated by complex relationships and emotions if it wasn’t already clear heh

wc: 2.4k. tags: angst, tension, reader loses their shit a little bit, conflict (one sided really, dabi doesn’t say much), gn reader, no pronouns used, small mention of drinking (reader has a glass of wine), silly little moment at the end that i love a lot

read part 2 here

A slight and silent shift occurs after you patch Touya up in your bathroom. In you only, most likely. You can’t be sure if it’s an improvement or a sign that you’ve reached the end of your rope.

You know longer feel as much like you’re a stranger in your own home–and that’s good, you think, except there’s still something there. You grow bolder, more open in your hostility–Touya does not. 

It’s there when you watch him sneak into the kitchen from your spot on the couch. He doesn’t need to do that, but you haven’t told him otherwise. You wonder if a part of you likes that he’s uncomfortable–that he feels like he’s the one walking on eggshells now. 

You feel guilty about that, because he’s likely felt like that this whole time and you want him to be comfortable. But the thing that lurks on your periphery feels justified in watching him cower. Like you’re owed that, for what he’s put you through. 

And more guilt follows, then, because it feels profoundly wrong to feel victimized by someone who experienced the hell that he did. To name what exactly it is that he’s put you through brings such a nauseating wave of shame over you, because it pales in comparison to what was done to him. You don’t want to believe that he would hurt you intentionally. And maybe, if there was another way, he would’ve come back. He would’ve at least found a way to let you know that he was alive.

And yet, he did not. 

Keep reading

it lives where i live

part 2 is here! this was a difficult one to write because there’s so much i want to say and i have no idea how to say any of it. but this is an important one and i hope you enjoy it :)

wc: 3.4 k. cw: angst, unintentional self-harm (touya scratches himself in his sleep), injury (scratch), blood (scratch), reader is not well mentally, gn reader, no pronouns used 

read part 1 here, read part 3 here

There is a warmth against your cheek when you stir, creeping up to heat the skin of your forehead as you stretch and squirm—fighting the lure of just a few more moments of sleep. Blinking slowly, you study the beam of light peaking through the sheer curtains—the way the little refraction cuts through the otherwise dark of your room.

For a moment, in the light, you forget.

But when you roll to your side—away from the light, looking to the door—you feel everything with a force that leaves you breathless.

Despite the weight of it all, you push up off your bed to sit, head hung a little as you take in a few deep breaths. The house is quiet, but you didn’t expect anything else. Your eyes burn a little, and you wait for the tears to come. When they don’t, you sigh—there’s nothing good to come from crying, anyway.

You stand and move to the door, opening it quietly and distantly wondering when you started moving around like an intruder in your own home. There’s a heat that comes with the thought—it curls in your stomach, slithering around the other feelings you’ve been holding there, and you shove it down, down, down, because you don’t want to be angry at him. Because he’s been through enough.

You don’t listen to the thought that tells you: so have you.

When you walk down the hall, the bathroom door is open, and Touya’s bedroom door is not. He must have woken up before you, if he slept at all. You don’t imagine you’ll see him today—at least not during the day. You fight the urge to hover outside his door, ear crammed to the wood to try to hear him breathing.

Keep reading

it lives where i live

HNGGGG okay i am coming at you live with another timeskip fic for Touya to add to the collection and it’s going to be dark and painful and multi-chaptered (but y'all know i like my mushy endings so fear not). this is how i’m coping with tomorrow’s episode and the fact that i literally cannot think of a single thing but this mf right now. warnings will be chapter by chapter to avoid spoiling anything so make sure you read them, thx love u

wc: 2.1k  cw: timeskip!Touya, childhood friends, mentions of vomit, injuries, angst, childhood trauma recovery, reader is not gendered/no pronouns used

Part 1 — Part 2

Rehabilitated, officially. But looking at him now, you’re not sure to what extent.

Your fingers curl themselves in the white strands of his bangs to hold them out of his face as he empties the minimal contents of his stomach into the toilet. Since he’s been here with you, there’s been somewhat of a routine established for Touya— wake up in a cold sweat, vomit, recede into himself. You wake with him and hover until you think he’s had enough of it.

At first it was alarming—the apparent manifestation of a new health problem after all that he went through—until you realized it was nightmares that tore him from sleep.

Despite the fact that he never told you what was happening, it didn’t take a psychologist to figure out that it was every single thing he’d ever pushed down clawing it’s way back up to the surface, now that he no longer had the strength to hold it back—in a way that, unfortunately for him, happened to be occurring literally.

you scared me

Bakugo Katsuki pulled himself to consciousness slowly, scrunching up his face at the sound of the periodic beeping that reverberated through his skull. He thought he could will it away with his mind, adept as he was at pushing things away, at silencing them-- he held his breath for one, two, three seconds-- forcefully exhaling when the sound met his ears again. No such luck.

He cracked an eye open hesitantly, taking in his surroundings. This was certainly not his bed, nor his house. He turned his head to the right, the sight of the IV bags hanging off of their metal support pole jarring him awake a bit. He looked down at his arm--sure enough, he was tethered to the bags by a thin needle under his skin. He let his head roll to the left, eyes grazing over the sterile hospital room he found himself in, until they landed on you.

You, in his too-big-for-you old hoodie that he'd begged you to let him replace for one that was newer and less hole-filled. In your sleep shorts that you've had since your time at UA, that hung off you then, and cling to you now. Curled up uncomfortably in a chair next to him, your head resting against the armrest. His eyes drifted up to your face, and he felt his heart squeeze at the little pout you wore in your sleep, eyebrows furrowed--he wondered what you were dreaming about.

He instinctively reached out a hand to brush his fingertips against the worry between your brows, letting out a hiss at the pain that radiated through his palm and up his arm. He looked down, and was startled to find bandages covering his palm, and a splint holding his arm straight. He attempted to wiggle his fingers under the bandage and was met with the same burning pain. "That's not good," he muttered to himself, turning his hand over and back again to inspect the wrappings around it.

"You fucking idiot."

[papamin au 🐅] a day at the aquarium 🐠

You slide into your regular booth later than usual - a sweating bottle of your tried and true choice saving your spot as you catch the tail end of some heated debate between Katsuki and your best friend.

“Okay, but he’s really nice Bakugou—“

“Nice? Y’need therapy.”

He holds an arm out for you to settle in under, turning his head to kiss your temple in greeting.

“Okay so maybe he’s not nice all the time, but no one is nice all the time.”

You can feel the eye roll from your boyfriend without having to see it. “Is he fuckin’ twelve? There a reason he can’t control ‘imself when he’s grumpy?”

She sticks her tongue out at Katsuki, and you turn to press your smile into his shoulder. It’s endearing, the way he’s fit himself into the lives of your friends. The way he genuinely cares, in his own harsh way - the way he wants your friends to be treated well. He’s a girls’ girl through and through, even if you’d never say it to him. They have this argument every week.

Your friend picks at the label on her bottle, pouting.

“Okay, but isn’t it enough that I love him?”

Katsuki throws his head back and cackles. It’s mean, but the three of you know that he means well.

“That ain’t love.”

She huffs at that, setting her bottle down to cross her arms over her chest, narrowing her eyes at Katsuki. “You don’t know that.”

You feel him eyeing you then, and you tilt your chin up to meet his gaze. He’s warm - the smile is in his eyes as yours pulls at the corners of your lips. He turns his head to take another swig from his drink.

“I know enough,” he says finally, arm around you tightening just a bit.

Your friend gags, and it makes you laugh. Katsuki is stubborn and crass, but he’s right about this.

dabi who insists that what you have is casual, and that’s all it ever will be. but here he is, cuddled up to you with his head laying against your soft chest, his heart slowly syncing to yours. a movie is playing on your laptop at the end of the bed, but he isn’t paying attention. instead he basks in the feeling of you softly running your hand through his hair, of listening to the soothing music vibrating out of your chest and into his ear.

sometimes he wishes he could become a part of you. that he could curl up small, and be tucked safe beside your heart. that way he could constantly be soothed by the gentle beating of your love for him, and he won’t have to think about anything else.

just as he’s drifting off, he feels the gentleness of you tugging at a staple on his cheek, barely there. he still lazily nips at you fingers in retaliation.

“you’re missing the best part.”

he hums in response to your murmur, the vibrations of your words a tickle against his face. dabi rubs his head against your chest, and settles in more securely in your arms. he grips your waist, feels the softest parts of you with burned hands. you huff softly, but tighten the hold you have on him all the same.

here he isn’t dabi. he hasn’t died and come back to life a monster. he hasn’t forsaken everything he thought he once loved. he doesn’t want to burn the world down, because that would mean you burning with it.

here, he’s just touya.

“wait, are you really scared?”

you groan into the pillow you have your face smushed into. you know you’ll have indents on your cheeks from how hard you’re holding it, but it’s either that or gorey jump scares.

“yes, touya, i’m fucking scared.”

you hear his chuckle from the other side of the couch and fight the urge to smack him with the pillow. if only it wasn’t the one thing protecting you right now.

“aw,” he coos, dripping in condescension, “poor baby. c’mere—i’ll save you.”

your snort is muffled by the fabric, but you scoot across the couch toward his voice anyway. in a rather impressive display of coordination, you manage to drag yourself up to settle on his chest—all without losing your blinder.

“there ya go,” touya murmurs, plucking the pillow from your hands. you squawk, reaching to grab it back before the next scene.

“why are you like this? give me it—“

you’re cut off by sudden darkness. you blink, and as your eyes adjust, you see much more of your boyfriend’s skin than you had just a second ago.

“touya.”

“yeah, babe.”

“i am in your shirt.”

you feel the laugh rumble under your palms. “yeah, you are.”

“why am i in your shirt?”

“would you rather watch the movie?”

“….good point.”

you don’t have to see his face to know the grin is there when he pats your head through the fabric. you rest your cheek against his sternum, settling in to his warmth. you can concede that it is much better than the pillow, especially when his fingers drag up and down your back, surprisingly soft for the dog that’s all bite. it nearly puts you to sleep until you feel him startle underneath you. against your ear, his heart kicks, fast and sudden.

“…..are you scared?”

he pokes you square in the forehead through the fabric. “of course not. shut up.”

you bite the inside of your cheek to stifle the grin, even if he can’t see it. even the roughest dogs are afraid of something.

aizawa calls mid patrol one night and asks you if you can take next Friday off.

"Umhf?" You blink at the time: 3:45. "I think?"

"Alright." He's silent for a moment. "I made us an appointment at the courthouse."

You mumble a nothing response, still on the brink of sleep.

"Just remember to take the time off," he presses. "Hello? Are you there?"

"Mhm." Your eyes won't even stay open.

"It's settled then. We'll get married next friday." The phone crackles as he breathes out. "Go back to sleep."

The line disconnects and you breathe a sigh of relief as you snuggle into your bed again-

You jolt up. Did he say married?

dynamight is clearly trying to go unnoticed in the grocery store, but you recognize him, anyway, despite the mask and low-pulled hat. knowing makes you feel even worse about approaching him—because you'd be too afraid to, otherwise—but you're not sure what else to do at this point.

you lean in close to him as he's standing in front of the produce, poking through the same bin.

"ooh, we need to get an onion, too, remember?"

he startles enough away from you that you can feel the foundation of your last ditch efforts crumbling. even beneath his hat, his light eyebrows pull down hard, gaze narrowing, and on the other end of such a fiery glare, you're reminded exactly why you've never wanted to meet him before: he's terrifying, handsome as he is.

"hah—"

you smile at him and hope it looks real, squishing into the space he's created even though your hands are shaking. "the guy by the juice followed me all around the store from the parking lot and i don't know what else to do." you widen your eyes, and you want to look, you do, but your facade is hanging on by a thread. "please help me."

dynamight swallows, and you hope his expression only seems so guarded because you're so close; enough to smell his subtle yet sharp cologne, to see the dark blonde wisps of his eyelashes. when he blinks, they brush against his mask, feather-light.

"okay," he nods once, and the gravel of his voice makes your stomach turn in some teenage way, that has your cheeks flaring.

(this is really not the time to be getting shy.)

he doesn't look towards the juice either, thankfully, and instead adjusts his stance, leaning into you in return, large and wide and formidable enough to nearly shield you from view. "an onion, huh? think we got one at home."

you can feel the warm press of his body against your own and it has you releasing a breath that had been trapped deep in your chest, has tears stinging behind your eyes. the sharp pain in your sternum lessens, and when you feel his hand come up to sit, carefully, against your lower back, dynamight murmurs,

"y'r alright,"

and you are.

Android AU where you purchase a discounted and broken Bakugo model.

He’s got limited movement in his right arm, a faulty ocular system and a series of burns that cover one side of his face and have made the middle of his chest all melted and tacky - the synthetic skin warped like scarred flesh, but he works well enough.

It’s nice, having him around. You cook together. Watch movies. Go on picnics. Hike. Dine out. Visit aquariums and museums. It doesn’t take long for people to start assuming…

Husband. Boyfriend. Fiancé. It’s all thrown round. An endearing misunderstanding that never garners more than a blush, or at least it was, until the feelings started.

It’s a growing debate, if the androids can feel like humans can, but you find yourself at his mercy anyway. You fall for him slowly, but definitely, lost to him in all of the ways you’d never thought possible.

You bottle it, lock it in your chest even when it becomes too much taking you in a choke hold and then one day, you just… Burst.

yuuta <3

clean little secret - itadori yuji

word count: 7.4k warnings: none! summary: yuji and (y/n) are keeping a secret from the others... yuji loves to be pampered by her. more info: tooth rotting fluff, crushing, friends to lovers

for stef <3 ___