this post includes dialogue spoilers for DEADPOOL 2. you’ve been warned.
feel free to change pronouns / wording !
- ❝ what a dick ! ❞
- ❝ i took a catnap on twelve hundred gallons of high test fuel. ❞
- ❝ i’m gonna touch them all over. ❞
- ❝ i don’t speak cantonese. ❞
- ❝ i don’t bargain, pumpkin fucker. ❞
- ❝ do not go in there ! ❞
- ❝ oh god ! time out, time out ! ❞
- ❝ too exotic ? ❞
- ❝ i got blood right in my open eye ! ❞
- ❝ i’m so glad i left the kiddos at home. ❞
- ❝ that babysitter of yours is high as fuck right now. ❞
- ❝ every good family film starts with a vicious murder, bambi, the lion king, saw seven. ❞
- ❝ listen, confidence isn’t something you have it’s something you create. ❞
- ❝ start the fucking car ! ❞
- ❝ i shit my pants. ❞
- ❝ i want to belong to something. ❞
- ❝ i want to become a contract killer. ❞
- ❝ i can’t wait to never speak of this. ❞
- ❝ oh, well that’s - that’s just the most beautiful thing i’ve ever - i don’t know what this is. ❞
- ❝ can you hear me ? ❞
- ❝ kids, they give a chance to be better than we are, better than we used to be. ❞
- ❝ you are a lot smarter than i look. ❞
- ❝ thank god i didn’t have t’ use the cream cheese speader. ❞
- ❝ go home, you’ve been here for three days. ❞
- ❝ you know what FINE stands for ? fucked up, insecure, needy and emotional. ❞
- ❝ don’t you know how t’ knock ? ❞
- ❝ i thought you saw me with your ears. ❞
- ❝ can’t really live ‘til we’ve died a little. ❞
- ❝ what in the fuck knuckles is this ? ❞
- ❝ should’ve brought my rape whistle. ❞
- ❝ first off, i’m not even a virgin. ❞
- ❝ you always make it hard. ❞
- ❝ like beyoncé says, please, please stop cheating on me. ❞
- ❝ come quietly, or there will be trouble. ❞
- ❝ put your hands behind your knees and get down on your head, now ! ❞
- ❝ rules are meant to be broken. ❞
- ❝ those guys hurt you ? ❞
- ❝ i fight for what’s right. ❞
- ❝ you’re so dark ! are you sure you’re not from the dc universe ? ❞
- ❝ we need a secret code. ❞
- ❝ am i gettin’ catfished here or ? ❞
- ❝ isn’t that a little derivative ? ❞
- ❝ you’ve been chosen by a higher power. ❞
- ❝ never underestimate a man with a moustache. ❞
- ❝ he’s going in through the back ! oh god, he’s inside ! ❞
- ❝ i’d ask who you are but you’ll be dead in a second. ❞
- ❝ ooh. somebody knows … karate. ❞
- ❝ something is so terribly, terribly wrong. ❞
- ❝ i should’ve worn my white pants. ❞
- ❝ i’m gonna rip you in half now. ❞
- ❝ you’re not the revenge type. ❞
- ❝ wha’d’ you want me t’ say, huh ? ❞
- ❝ what’s ________ got that i don’t have ? ❞
- ❝ all i told him was everything he wanted to know. ❞
- ❝ is this apartment listed on tinder ? grindr ? ❞
- ❝ well, that’s just lazy writing. ❞
- ❝ you remind me of my wife. ❞
- ❝ so what’s it gonna be, handsome ? ❞
- ❝ and that, is why you never eat a raw starfish. it’s just common sense. ❞
- ❝ i will bathe in the blood of your enemies. ❞
- ❝ boom ! spoiler alert. ❞
- ❝ i’m a grower, not a shower. ❞
- ❝ you should never meet your heroes because honestly, he’s a bit of a dick. ❞
- ❝ i don’t deserve your friendship, or your help. ❞
- ❝ damn it feels good t’ be a gangster ! ❞
- ❝ it’s not a great analogy. ❞
- ❝ i told you i care about you. ❞
- ❝ i don’t wanna die without an audience. ❞
- ❝ is there a knife in my dick ? ❞
- ❝ what the fuck is dubstep ? ❞