My conversations with children

Okay as a fifth year education major in a wheelchair who is constantly around very curious kids and very paranoid parents, this is single-handedly the greatest video I have ever seen!

A gentle reminder that accepting disabled people doesn’t mean ignoring their disabilities.

“That happens sometimes.”

I mean yeah it does.

also those crutches are 10/10 design

mobility help AND still being able to gesture and stuff.

i think what’s on a person’s nightstand is very telling so reblog this and put in the tags the things you have on your nightstand

One of those racks for organizing paperwork, but I use it to store my collection of sleeping asks. Also a tiny cooler/humidifier for in the summer

OH MY GOD.

“I was 14, I didn’t know what I was doing.”

whaT THE FUCK

This story has no goddamn brakes

(transcript because I couldn’t find one in the notes)

Stephen Colbert: A lot of writers say they were nerdy kids, unpopular, like outcasts, or that sort of thing; was that your experience growing up?

BJ Novak: I think that’s exaggerated, I think a lot of people love to say, ‘oh I was such a nerd’ or ‘I was such a rebel, I sat in the back of the bus’. Most people sat in the middle of the bus. That’s how buses work. So, you know, people say-

Colbert: So you were sitting in the middle?

Novak: Yeah, that’s where I sat! I mean, I did my homework and y'know, dreamed of being a bit of a rebel. I did a very nerdy version of rebellion, which I guess is sort of my way of balancing where I sat on the bus. When I was 14, I got it in my head that I wanted a fake ID. and I committed what- the only term for it is ‘identity theft’, to get this fake ID. So this is the kind of nerd- I’ve never told this story before, this is pretty much the nerdiest way you can be like, ‘a bad kid’. I went to the Newton library where I grew up, and I went through their polling records… buckle in.

Colbert: I think you’ve already - just that sentence has violated a federal law, but go ahead.

Novak: Yeah, there’s a handful of these, and I actually tried to google the statute of limitations on this before the show and couldn’t get the WiFi.

Colbert: Okay.

Novak: So I looked up -this is true- I looked up someone that was 21 years old, through their polling records.

Colbert: And you’re 14.

Novak: I was 14 years old, I looked up someone who was 21 who had my same first name and initial, because I thought, “if I get drunk” -I had never been drunk. I was like, “if I forget my name, I can’t get busted”. So I found someone who was “Benjamin J. [something]”. So I found this guy’s name and I thought, “if I can just forge all his documents, I can go to the DMV and say I lost my license and they’ll give me a new license with his picture”, this is my plan.   So first I need to know where he’s born so I can get his birth certificate, so I call his house. I ask for him, I don’t know what i would have done, I get his brother and I say “I work with Ben, we’re doing a crossword puzzle based on his life for his birthday. Can you tell me what town he was born in?’. So he told me and I took the subway there and I got his birth certificate.

Colbert: How- You went to the- You went to like the county clerk and said-

Novak: They didn’t ask for ID, they just gave me his birth certificate. Then I opened up a mailbox in his name and wrote- I was 14, I didn’t know what i was doing- I wrote to the IRS.

Colbert: Uh-huh…

Novak: And I filled out tax forms in his name. And then I went to the DMV and said “I lost my wallet and I need to-this is all i have”. And i looked 14 years old, but I had these documents, so they sent me to the backroom with this woman who sized me up and said “I can’t give you this, you don’t even have a picture”, and then said with a wry smile on her face, “Open your wallet right now.” and like a true method actor, the only thing I had in my wallet was a library card I had signed in his name. And she approved it, and for the rest of high school I had this actual driver’s license, with my picture on it. [audience cheering] Novak: I’m glad we have some support. You have a look on your face- I don’t know if that was funny or if you just broke the law…

Colbert: It was fantastic, I just hope you have a good lawyer.

“I was 14, I didn’t know what I was doing” said of a caper pulled off with a calculated, methodical demeanor that would make Hannibal Lecter blush

Like I have seen episodes of leverage with worse planned cons and meanwhile he just says "eh, I was a novice".

"We're Not So Different, You and I" - Part 68

(Check out the other parts here)

What do these four have in common?

4th wall breaks (or at least 4th wall awareness)?

What you've failed to remember, Nate, is that you love cons

consider it a confession of love on his part

been seeing this so I'll give my two cents:

as a black person, rap music and the genre itself is very versatile and good at expressing many things and if you just water it down to "violence and drugs and sex" I'm going to assume you're racist or at least have a racist idea in your mind. it's literally ok to not like this genre or any genre but when you seem to be averse by music that's mostly created by black folk I begin to question you.

oh yeah was going to add: rappers creating art about sex violence and drugs is also not even inherently bad too, just an important addition.

Balatro X leverage? I guess they're both about rigging things. Dont think Balatro has enough story for them to heist Balatro's casino But i do think each character could be like a special Joker... (obviously most of them would be like, uncommon rare or legendary quality. these are the greatest cheaters and con-men alive in their universe. Any cards that represent them are gonna be gamebreaking.) Mastermind: All values count as Kings. (Nate likes his plans simple yet overkill, and I kind of need to give him a "king" thing to match Sophie). So "every hand is 5 of a kind" Hitter: Whenever 2, 3 or 4 are discarded gain 2, 3 or 4 dollars. ("aquisitions specialist" means econ. Also cares about small children, represented by the lowest 3 values. His role is also to protect the mark-of-the-week if goons come calling. he's about removing people from danger) Hacker: All Vouchers in store are Free. (Hardisons role is about opening options for the future, not about helping an individual game. as well as being in charge of managing the cashflow. Getting rid of the big expenses that opens doors later in the game fits) Grifter: Whenever a Queen is discarded, turn off boss blind. (to quote Sophie in the inside job: "I'm a grifter, if i do my job right, someone just opens the lock for me") Thief: Whenever you open a Pack, you can use 1 more item from it. (should be self explanatory? As soon as you open them she just pockets 1 more card) Lawyer: Every effect that multiplies your mult, increases by 1 for each Face card played this round. (look trying to get balatro effects to match their MO's is hard, the idea is that he's basically pointing out a small tax loophole that increases efficiency with every individual count. I dont think its perfect but im trying here.) Maker: When your first hand on a turn is a single card, Create an identical copy with a red seal. (Cause she likes to make things, but also just "makes copies" already existed and there arent enough ways to make seals in Balatro)

Inmates being put to work does NOT SAVE ANYONE TAX DOLLARS you are still paying exorbitant amounts of taxes to the prison industrial complex, almost all of which goes into these corporations pockets, btw—-not spent on prisoners.

I don’t know about any of y’all, but I would so much rather my tax money go to actually rehabilitating people and finding ways to keep them out of incarceration, rather than an entire industry set up around getting people to recidivate and return to prison time and time again, just so that prison industrial complex can pocket even MORE of my tax money.

for any wondering how this affects you the not yet in prison population, slave labor takes jobs out of the economy and depresses all labors value. in real terms they are picking your pocket.

who is even pulling bitches by being autistic the bitches hate my autism

the bitches have texted me "sometimes I think you don't have feelings" and "your kindness feels fake because you never smile at me" the bitches are not pleased with my autism in the slightest

the bitches have yelled at me for being clueless or not understanding what they're saying under the idea that I don't care the bitches have been saying that I make no effort at all to be kind when they're down when I have very often asked what I should be doing best to help and changed my behavior accordingly the bitches are telling me that I am the unfair one for pointing these things out and that I make them feel like monsters the bitches are now surprised and upset that I don't like them as much anymore and saying that actually them being reprimanding to me is normal the bitches hate me so bad but they won't admit it they'll keep saying no I love you but everything you do makes me upset. and I can't help it but see something to agree in that anyway. because I genuinely have a consideration for your opinion. I could still be the villain here this whole time and I am constantly trying to find ways to make people happy or to at the very least not disappoint them completely as soon as they get close enough to me to realize that I am not the person they want to talk to

your fucking autism memes mean nothing to me. you have no fucking respect for us until you show respect to everyone.

Used to work next to an extremely loud knife-spinning machine (it was a vegetable cutter, it had safety shielding but in my mind it will always be "the knifespinner" because, that is what it does and you respect a tool that can sever a human finger). I had a colleague who'd come in one hour after my shift started (for context: that is not her being tardy, that was just when her shift started. I worked earlier to help the store prepare for opening, she only needs to be there when customers are actually there.) Standing between two extremely loud machines, one ow which could theoretically cut my fingers off? I am focused on doing my work productively and safely, and the noise makes it hard to hear people enter. Apparently it became a repeated patern that she'd enter, and I wouldnt notice until an hour later (when i go to the front to get more veggies for cutting) that she's even there because she doesnt talk to me and I focus on my work and all the food prep. She complained to the boss that I "was being asocial and never greeted her when she entered" and that it was making an unpleasant work environment. So i start paying extra attention and deliberately slow down my work around 50-55 minutes into my shift, and start greeting her in the morning to the best of my abilities. Then one day, She starts screaming that she "has no use for my hollow theatre, and pretense at humanity" that she can "see through" my "Hollow manipulation tactics" and that she can "see me for the what I really am". And that all im doing is "using her words as an excuse to slack off on the bosses time" and how that means im a "slothfull parasyte feigning disabilities so that real upstanding people (like her) have to cover for them". And proceeds to demand I never greet her like that again because "if I think she'd fall for such tactics, I must think lowly of her inteligence". So either Im an impersonal inhuman monstrosity for not greeting her, or im a gassslighting parasyte that is implicitly calling her an idiot if I say "goodmorning". Fucking Neurotypicals, there is no winning with them...

God am I happy i quit that place.

HI WHO WOULD LIKE TO SEE A BABY GOOSE

SCRATCH THAT IT WAS A PINECONE

APOLOGIES FOR THE FALSE ADVERTISING

NO ONE IS MORE DISAPPOINTED THAN ME

NO

I DON'T THINK YOU ARE

OH MY GOD

OKAY, Y'KNOW-

I DON'T NEGOTIATE WITH TERRORISTS

THERE IS NO PINECONE IS THERE

WE TRUSTED YOU. GOOSEGATE 2024

I AM GOING TO SET THE PINECONE ON FIRE

oh no the -

it's time to take the power back from Big Pinecone and give it to the people

YOU DID NOT MAKE FUCKING FANART FOR THIS GODDAMN POST

OH MY GOD

A Met Gala-esque event would be a very satisfying location for a Leverage finale

prev -> #plus can you imagine the outfits the crew would wear!#they would blow everyone out of the water!

Precisely. They'd be the only ones who actually somewhat stuck to the theme and look eight times better than everyone else

So I have been informed that Ocean's 8 is literally a Met Gala heist

From what I can gather, that movie's about a diamond caper

The Leverage plot, though, would be about robbing the gala's personalities of their dignity and cultural prestige. Completely different!

No, if Leverage is robbing the Met, its because of all of the stolen cultural heritage on the walls. The Gala is just the time that security is weakest (on behalf of all the press and celebrities running around) and that the press is most "ready-to-cover" any scandal that would result from, for example, tricking a museum curator into speaking aloud into an open microphone about some falsified provenance paperwork on live TV where everyone from the AP to Buzzfeed has live camera's pointed straight at their face. If leverage does the met, it would not be about the Gala or even the people in attendance, its about the Met itself.

getting second hand embarrassment on the dash tonight

Writing Prompt: The Logic is Sound

CRACK PROMPT, DO NOT TAKE SERIOUSLY

Ladybug accidentally detransforms in front of Chat Noir and he finds out her identity. When he asks if it's really her, as he can not believe his eyes, Marinette ends up saying the first, most stupid thing she can come up with

"I'm not Marinette... I... I'm... I'm her... I'm her twin sister... Yes! I'm her twin sister... Clarinette!"

What's even more stupid, Chat Noir believes her...

Prompt by: StrawberryDoodle

I think it'd be twice as funny if instead she fumbled her excuse and said something less sensical then even that: "no, im her" (i cant say twin sister, everyone knows my parents only had one kid *panic montage*) "twin cousin" (What are you saying you idiot thats not how twins work!) Adrien who has a twin cousin for reasons that he's never been made to question: That makes perfect sense. that way it maintains the "mari makes up the worst possible excuses when she panic-brains" trait.

Bothersome beast, comforting friend

baby onesie that says “I may look like my daddy but I have my mommy’s LATENT PSYCHIC ABILITIES AND TELEKINETIC POWERS”

I may look like my daddy but I have my mommy’s PROPHETIC VISIONS AND STIGMATA

"I may not look like either of my parents, on account of being a small infant and them being fully-grown adults, but i have asimilated the both of them into my being and YOU WILL BE NEXT"