The Life of a Student Gothamite

so, i kinda realized none of you really know my name or anything about me? and that i haven’t introduced myself at all? so, sorry about that.

anyways:

hello, i’m benjamin, please call me ben. my full first name is reserved for scoldings, fancy old people and death beds.

i live in gotham. i have mixed feelings about that sometimes but i really wouldn’t want to live anywhere else.

i have three cats and i live in a relatively okay apartment by east end and at this point i think i can say i’m functionally an orphan. well, as functional as i can be i suppose?

i’m a libra, i like the colour red and i don’t particularly like owls.

perhaps i’ll add more if i feel the need but for right now that’s all there really is to know about me. :))

i don’t live in gotham right now!

i still have three cats but i live in a penthouse in new york with my new family. which is still really weird to say. i have a brother now, and two moms? and basically a whole army of aunts and uncles.

so i’m officially no longer a functional dysfunctional orphan

i am obviously still a libra, i love the colour red and i still hate owls.

UPDATE TIME FUCKERS

so my name is still ben, obviously, and the only person who calls me benjamin at present is kori and alfred, when jason makes me call him.

i’ve got ✨magic powers✨ because helping john constantine always has some odd kind of repercussion. i’ve been a vigilante for almost two years now and i think i’m doing a good job. I’m hitting all the trauma points right now. Im going strong.

speaking of trauma, i don’t live in new york because of a whole body-double-doppelgänger fiasco that can’t actually be remedied until that stupid as fuck space child trafficking ring is taken down, so. yeah. i don’t think my mothers know that i haven’t been there in months, and it’s literally their jobs to know unknowable shit.

so, pete if you see this, dude, that is not me.

my favorite color is still red, i am still a libra and owls have not even been on my mind recently

hello folks long time no see; let’s play two truths and a lie, for shits and giggles.

i got adopted at fourteen

i was technically trapped in outer space for three months

and my morals have gotten very questionable

in any case, does anyone remember how alfred gets blood out of clothing? i don’t want to buy more shirts.

hey op are you good?? (trick question, you're a gothamite none of us are good lmao)

im gonna call the adoption as a lie but honestly everything is pretty plausible

if the blood hasnt stained soaking it in cold water should do the trick!! if it has just use stain remover :)

uh, well, i haven’t spoken to my mom in about ehh six months? i was trapped in outer space and i don’t think anyone realized that the me on earth wasn’t actually me which stings lemme tell you

and you’re right, i was adopted at fifteen :))

bro those are now pajama’s, i didn’t even try

damn that sucks dude :( at least youre back??? is outer space as cool as everyone makes it seem

eh, i got the human trafficking: space edition but i got to live out my star wars dreams in the end and i got a weird little creature out of it so not the worst experience ever

hello folks long time no see; let’s play two truths and a lie, for shits and giggles.

i got adopted at fourteen

i was technically trapped in outer space for three months

and my morals have gotten very questionable

in any case, does anyone remember how alfred gets blood out of clothing? i don’t want to buy more shirts.

hey op are you good?? (trick question, you're a gothamite none of us are good lmao)

im gonna call the adoption as a lie but honestly everything is pretty plausible

if the blood hasnt stained soaking it in cold water should do the trick!! if it has just use stain remover :)

uh, well, i haven’t spoken to my mom in about ehh six months? i was trapped in outer space and i don’t think anyone realized that the me on earth wasn’t actually me which stings lemme tell you

and you’re right, i was adopted at fifteen :))

bro those are now pajama’s, i didn’t even try

rebloging this post everytime a day goes by without my family noticing i’m missing one of my legs

what

damn i was hoping to make it to three days

explain yourself

well, sometimes, you just, yknow, lose your limbs. it’s life. it happens.

technically yes, but again, explain yourself

it got eaten, kind of. space is weird. prosthetics are super advanced now though, so it’s all good.

rebloging this post everytime a day goes by without my family noticing i’m missing one of my legs

what

damn i was hoping to make it to three days

explain yourself

well, sometimes, you just, yknow, lose your limbs. it’s life. it happens.

rebloging this post everytime a day goes by without my family noticing i’m missing one of my legs

what

damn i was hoping to make it to three days

rebloging this post everytime a day goes by without my family noticing i’m missing one of my legs

@florence-wayne-official Do you think you could make me a dress? I’ll pay you and everything

i told you before kiddo, you don’t need to pay me; i’m your sister not your personal tailor

so, what style, for what, and by when?

I wanted a traditional Chinese dress for Chinese New Year next month, I was prepared to pay you since it’s not the kind of thing you usually do

kiddo, when i say dresses for all occasions, i mean all occasions. and this stuff is way more fun than stuffy old rich people clothes anyway.

i have a pattern already, but i’m gonna need you to come in this week for a fitting before i start sewing, since you’re smaller than my usual customers

Great! Thank you so much :)

Come where? To Paris?

nah, i’m in new york for the week and i’ll be in gotham by this weekend for the holidays, so i’ll have a private jet fly you to new york and i’ll bring the finished thing to christmas

A private WHAT

jet? why are you scared of heights? i can send a limo

I’m not, but—I can fly commercial, or take the train, there’s really no need to make a fuss

takes too long, i’m booked all week. i’ll send the jet

….there’s no arguing my way out of this is there

from someone who gets the rich person culture shock, it’s better if you get used to the fancy rich people stuff now. i was in your shoes a year ago, and trust me when i say that it only gets crazier from here.

@gotham-its-seven-in-the-morning

Delenn. Are you and your flock teaching Basil and the boys bad habits again

It was not my flock this time. My flock knows their feeding times so it most definitely wasn't them.

that might be my kid’s, sorry

They’re teaching my crows thievery?

nah, one of my kids brought a crow home and he’s been a fucking menace ever since

OH SO YOU CAN BRING RANDOM CREATURES HOME WHENEVER YOU WANT BUT WHEN I DO IT SUDDENLY MISSY IS NOTHING BUT A PROBLEM! I CALL HYPOCRISY ON THIS INJUSTICE!

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST KID I HAVE BROUGHT HOME TWO CATS MEANWHILE YOU AND PETE ARE BRINGING HOME FUCKING OWLS AND CROWS AND A FUCKING CROCODILE

OH? AND WHAT ARE ME AND PETER THEN, MOTHER? I BELIEVE A FEW YEARS AGO I HAD ASKED FOR A PLACE TO STAY FOR A WEEK UNTIL I FOUND AN APARTMENT AND SUDDENLY ADOPTION PAPERS HAVE BEEN SIGNED!

AND THAT CROCODILE IS AN ABSOLUTE DARLING AND YOU KNOW IT! GODZILLA IS VERY WELL BEHAVED AND SHE HAS NEVER DONE ANYTHING WRONG IN HER ENTIRE LIFE

GODZILLA ATE MY HAND DYED SILK, BENJAMIN

SHES A BABY! SHES ALLOWED TO MAKE MISTAKES!

THATS IT IM MAKING YOU A SEPARATE FLOOR FOR YOUR PETS

success >:))

you’re gonna make me go gray before i’m thirty kid, y’know that?

it’s you’re fault for adopting me and peter, it was a conscious decision on your part

i know, i know, now shush band go design the new floor for your zoo of pets

will do :))

@gotham-its-seven-in-the-morning

Delenn. Are you and your flock teaching Basil and the boys bad habits again

It was not my flock this time. My flock knows their feeding times so it most definitely wasn't them.

that might be my kid’s, sorry

They’re teaching my crows thievery?

nah, one of my kids brought a crow home and he’s been a fucking menace ever since

OH SO YOU CAN BRING RANDOM CREATURES HOME WHENEVER YOU WANT BUT WHEN I DO IT SUDDENLY MISSY IS NOTHING BUT A PROBLEM! I CALL HYPOCRISY ON THIS INJUSTICE!

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST KID I HAVE BROUGHT HOME TWO CATS MEANWHILE YOU AND PETE ARE BRINGING HOME FUCKING OWLS AND CROWS AND A FUCKING CROCODILE

OH? AND WHAT ARE ME AND PETER THEN, MOTHER? I BELIEVE A FEW YEARS AGO I HAD ASKED FOR A PLACE TO STAY FOR A WEEK UNTIL I FOUND AN APARTMENT AND SUDDENLY ADOPTION PAPERS HAVE BEEN SIGNED!

AND THAT CROCODILE IS AN ABSOLUTE DARLING AND YOU KNOW IT! GODZILLA IS VERY WELL BEHAVED AND SHE HAS NEVER DONE ANYTHING WRONG IN HER ENTIRE LIFE

GODZILLA ATE MY HAND DYED SILK, BENJAMIN

SHES A BABY! SHES ALLOWED TO MAKE MISTAKES!

THATS IT IM MAKING YOU A SEPARATE FLOOR FOR YOUR PETS

success >:))

you’re gonna make me go gray before i’m thirty kid, y’know that?

it’s you’re fault for adopting me and peter, it was a conscious decision on your part

@gotham-its-seven-in-the-morning

Delenn. Are you and your flock teaching Basil and the boys bad habits again

It was not my flock this time. My flock knows their feeding times so it most definitely wasn't them.

that might be my kid’s, sorry

They’re teaching my crows thievery?

nah, one of my kids brought a crow home and he’s been a fucking menace ever since

OH SO YOU CAN BRING RANDOM CREATURES HOME WHENEVER YOU WANT BUT WHEN I DO IT SUDDENLY MISSY IS NOTHING BUT A PROBLEM! I CALL HYPOCRISY ON THIS INJUSTICE!

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST KID I HAVE BROUGHT HOME TWO CATS MEANWHILE YOU AND PETE ARE BRINGING HOME FUCKING OWLS AND CROWS AND A FUCKING CROCODILE

OH? AND WHAT ARE ME AND PETER THEN, MOTHER? I BELIEVE A FEW YEARS AGO I HAD ASKED FOR A PLACE TO STAY FOR A WEEK UNTIL I FOUND AN APARTMENT AND SUDDENLY ADOPTION PAPERS HAVE BEEN SIGNED!

AND THAT CROCODILE IS AN ABSOLUTE DARLING AND YOU KNOW IT! GODZILLA IS VERY WELL BEHAVED AND SHE HAS NEVER DONE ANYTHING WRONG IN HER ENTIRE LIFE

GODZILLA ATE MY HAND DYED SILK, BENJAMIN

SHES A BABY! SHES ALLOWED TO MAKE MISTAKES!

THATS IT IM MAKING YOU A SEPARATE FLOOR FOR YOUR PETS

success >:))

@gotham-its-seven-in-the-morning

Delenn. Are you and your flock teaching Basil and the boys bad habits again

It was not my flock this time. My flock knows their feeding times so it most definitely wasn't them.

that might be my kid’s, sorry

They’re teaching my crows thievery?

nah, one of my kids brought a crow home and he’s been a fucking menace ever since

OH SO YOU CAN BRING RANDOM CREATURES HOME WHENEVER YOU WANT BUT WHEN I DO IT SUDDENLY MISSY IS NOTHING BUT A PROBLEM! I CALL HYPOCRISY ON THIS INJUSTICE!

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST KID I HAVE BROUGHT HOME TWO CATS MEANWHILE YOU AND PETE ARE BRINGING HOME FUCKING OWLS AND CROWS AND A FUCKING CROCODILE

OH? AND WHAT ARE ME AND PETER THEN, MOTHER? I BELIEVE A FEW YEARS AGO I HAD ASKED FOR A PLACE TO STAY FOR A WEEK UNTIL I FOUND AN APARTMENT AND SUDDENLY ADOPTION PAPERS HAVE BEEN SIGNED!

AND THAT CROCODILE IS AN ABSOLUTE DARLING AND YOU KNOW IT! GODZILLA IS VERY WELL BEHAVED AND SHE HAS NEVER DONE ANYTHING WRONG IN HER ENTIRE LIFE

GODZILLA ATE MY HAND DYED SILK, BENJAMIN

SHES A BABY! SHES ALLOWED TO MAKE MISTAKES!

@gotham-its-seven-in-the-morning

Delenn. Are you and your flock teaching Basil and the boys bad habits again

It was not my flock this time. My flock knows their feeding times so it most definitely wasn't them.

that might be my kid’s, sorry

They’re teaching my crows thievery?

nah, one of my kids brought a crow home and he’s been a fucking menace ever since

OH SO YOU CAN BRING RANDOM CREATURES HOME WHENEVER YOU WANT BUT WHEN I DO IT SUDDENLY MISSY IS NOTHING BUT A PROBLEM! I CALL HYPOCRISY ON THIS INJUSTICE!

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST KID I HAVE BROUGHT HOME TWO CATS MEANWHILE YOU AND PETE ARE BRINGING HOME FUCKING OWLS AND CROWS AND A FUCKING CROCODILE

OH? AND WHAT ARE ME AND PETER THEN, MOTHER? I BELIEVE A FEW YEARS AGO I HAD ASKED FOR A PLACE TO STAY FOR A WEEK UNTIL I FOUND AN APARTMENT AND SUDDENLY ADOPTION PAPERS HAVE BEEN SIGNED!

AND THAT CROCODILE IS AN ABSOLUTE DARLING AND YOU KNOW IT! GODZILLA IS VERY WELL BEHAVED AND SHE HAS NEVER DONE ANYTHING WRONG IN HER ENTIRE LIFE