A couple job interview hacks from someone who has to give a job interview every single goddamn day: (disclaimer: this goes for my process and my company’s process, other companies and industries might be different)

1. There are a few things I check and a few questions I ask literally just to figure out if you can play the game and get along with others in a professional setting. Part of the job I interview for is talking to people, and we work in teams. So if you can’t “play the game” a tiny bit, it’s not going to work. Playing the game includes:

- Why do you want to work here? (just prove that you googled the company, tell me like 1 thing about us, I just want to know that you did SOME kind of preparation for this interview)

- Are you wearing professional clothing? I don’t need a suit just don’t show up in a ratty t-shirt and sweatpants.

- Are you able to speak respectfully and without dropping f-bombs all the time? Not because I’m offended but because I don’t want to be reported to HR if you wind up on my team.

- Can you follow simple directions in an interview?

2. Stop telling me protected information. I don’t want to know about what drugs or medications you’re on, I don’t want to know about you being sick, I don’t want to know if you’re planning to have children soon, I don’t want to know anything about your personal life other than “can you do the job?” 

3. When we ask, “What questions do you have for me?” here are my favorites I’ve heard: - What does the day-to-day look like for a member of your team?

- If one of your team members was not performing up to his usual standard, what steps would you take to correct that?

- What can I start doing now to accelerate my learning process in this job?

- What are some reservations you have about me as a candidate? (be ready for this emotionally….it will REALLY help you in the future, and I’ve had people save themselves from a No after this, but can be hard to hear)

- In your opinion, what skills and qualities does the ideal candidate for this job possess?

- What advice would you give to a new hire in this position/someone who wanted to break into this industry, as someone who has worked here for a while?

Those are just my tips off-the-cuff. I work in sales in marketing/SAAS, so these can be very different depending on the industry, but I wish the people I interview could read this before they show up. 

Yes STOP TELLING PEOPLE PROTECTED INFORMATION IN INTERVIEWS. do not volunteer anything including “I’m currently pregnant.”

I see a child run out in front of this car and I throw a black lace shawl over their shoulders, saving their life

The Australian state of Tasmania is being held hostage and terrorized by a single elephant seal and this has been going on for more than a month now.

He’s just a baby. He’s not even two years old. But he weighs over 1,000 pounds and refuses to go back in the sea even though he’s done molting. His hobbies include blocking roadways, sleeping in front of cars, purposefully knocking over signposts, playing with traffic cones and barking at people.

we are not being held hostage by neil. we love him.

is he behind you as you type that

you're laughing. neil is blocking the cars of people desperate to see the aurora and you're laughing.

If you dare come at me about banning straws, I will throw you into the sun cannon. I’m disabled, I’m crippled, I need disposable plastic straws, and all those pricey ridiculous alternatives aren’t working as well. Plastic straws were invented for the disabled.

Way to shit all over a vital access need because you think straws are worse than corporate greed.

We all care about the turtles, the seals, the oceans, obviously. Notice how the easiest thing to yell about was something that would barely affect anything but appealed heavily to emotional discourse.

The disabled community is huge, and it can be joined by anyone. Most of those As Seen On TV products were invented for us. Society still mocks us and ignores us, and often outright harms us in multiple ways.

Communicate better. Listen better. But stop putting us out in the cold because you are inconvenienced by our simplest needs.

Straws aren’t killing the planet, its animals, or people. They’re a microscopic fraction of an iota of a percentage of the problem. You want to do something? Ban plastic fishing nets. Anything else is just a hollow feel-good gesture at the expense of real living disabled people.

https://news.nationalgeographic.com/2018/03/great-pacific-garbage-patch-plastics-environment/

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/ocean-plastic-fishing-waste_n_5bc47dc9e4b0bd9ed55c1f60

i have an environmental degree and i’ve been saying this since this straw ‘debate’ started: its all a tactic by those in power to distract people’s attention from bigger issues such as fishing waste. don’t fall for it. and don’t be a dick to disabled people who need straws to make their lives easier.

I’m an ecologist who’s worked in deep sea environments. We don’t find straws down there. We find discarded fishing nets and lines large enough for our sensors to mistake the garbage as a shipwreck

[these pictures were taken of the ROV footage from a research cruise I went on in September. We were looking for wrecks using IDed targets, but all we found was trash like this]

Crab sighting is always appreciated. Hi there big guy!

Also, there are still people out there who will preach non-plastic alternate straws and the attached ableism like an ideology, which really worries me.

Wasn’t the whole thing first tipped over by a study done by a nine year old child with very bad data and very wrong conclusions?

Video of me trying to write the number 3 in professor layton game for 1 minute

Oh that two year gap on my resume was when I was the architect of my own hell

It’s either be yourself or pee yourself dude

it’s really not

tried my best

>password sharing is estimated to cost them several billion dollars

KEEP SHARING THEM PASSWORDS

Password sharing actually doesnt cost them anything, every time u share a password they dont have to pay u for that. Its free. They just use that language bc they say that not having everyone buy into their service is a loss of a customer they /never even had/ and are pretending they would have made money from those non customers

They aren't losing money, they're just mad they aren't making more money. Absolutely share passwords with friends and people you trust.

i would've fucked so hard as a court jester in ye olde i would've jangled my balls and done a little dance and sang my silly tunes i'd be so good at my job. alas i have to be on tumblr instead which is like a poor imitation of it

bells. i meant bells

don’t do this to me

ok so i made the mistake of standing on the beach in the dark and listen…….. listen. there is nothing that cares about you less than the ocean in the dead of night. it is tangible. you can’t fuckin see a thing. there is no horizon. it’s a ceaseless void and she cares for no one and loves nothing. you have to respect her bcs she clearly has no fuckin love for you and if she wanted she could take you and NO ONE WOULD KNOW

#ngl I felt this when we were crossing the mountains into and out of California#i felt it in my *soul*: ‘These mountains EAT people–and are as indifferent about that as my own teeth are about chewing’#it was the strongest prey-fear I’d ever felt in my life

when my brother and i were kids we got in trouble for using the term "dadding" to mean making a promise you have no intent to follow thru on which is a testament to this country's disdain for creative types

wait, isnt NSFW the letters on the compass

So close.

north south FUCK west

Love conversations where every single participant has certified Issues

One guys issue is not knowing vampires are real. I feel him

Love burying the lead "he's 33 I'm 22-" bitch he is 433 give or take

Girldick this, boydick that, I’m hunting MOBY Dick