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the devil next door

@mxttmurdock / mxttmurdock.tumblr.com

i love my trash son matt murdock | marvel comics, daredevil, the occasional writing | anna
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canyourfavesurvivecastledracula
brokensocialscone asked:

Matt Murdock/Daredevil

1. Catholic

2. Excellent free climber

3. Kind of a slut

4. Also a lawyer

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canyourfavesurvivecastledracula answered:

You got me. That's. That's the perfect recipe. Wow.

Matt is. Goddd. He's such a bad lawyer. He's such a bad Catholic. He's such a good climber. And it doesn't matter.

Being blind probably provides some defense against hypnosis, certainly against Dracula's basilisk stare. It also means he's a perfect hire for Dracula because he really doesn't look like a threat and he's not going to see anything suspicious. Dracula applauds himself for his own cleverness over and over for this one.

There is no shaving mirror incident, because what use is a mirror to Matt Murdock? On the other hand his combat strategy of killing the lights and punching people in the dark will have no effect on Dracula. They both sneak down the wall at the same time and it gets Real Awkward as they pretend not to notice each other - the next day at dinner Dracula's like "so, uh... I was of course out on Business but you didn't happen to uh... go out of your room yesterday did you?" and Matt's just like "ahaha I do not climb walls that is my least favorite thing to do anyway I'm blind anyway it would be fine if I did right?" And Dracula's like "ahaha of course you're not a prisoner and who said anything about climbing walls I definitely use doors like an alive person but yeah don't sleep in weird places you'll die." And just sits there staring at him like "...but do the butts match???"

Matt would try to rescue the baby and it would come to Ninja Fighting and he would get badly badly beaten but run off into the wilderness and collapse in the nearest church coughing up blood. Foggy would pick him up two to six months later and just be like "so have you learned a valuable lesson about trying to handle things on your own?" and Matt would be like "in my defense he was a Vampire." And then have complex feelings about the interplay of good and evil or something. And Foggy would be like "...okay but did you at least bill him properly??" And Matt would have to be like "actually I got robbed."

But yes, Matt "Daredevil" Murdock can survive Castle Dracula

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hoodedmenace

Jason can't lie, not even over the phone. He knows well enough that Matt will be able to hear it. Quite honestly, he doesn't even know which version of the truth he's supposed to tell Matt.

Yeah. Everyone sort of knows.

"Oh, um—fuck—I gotta go. I think I'm about to get a parking ticket. I'll see you at the station, okay? Call me when you're pulling in." It's not the cleanest getaway he's ever managed, but he does want to get to the station with a few minutes to spare so Matt's not waiting for him in the cold, and that's gotta count for something, right?

It's busy, the travel crowd in flux with the approaching holidays, so all that extra time is exactly what he needs to grab himself a spot on the curb by the pick-up lane. Everything else he can smooth over when Matt actually gets here, he figures. Easy.

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mxttmurdock

Earlier in their relationship, he would have given Jason the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he really was staring down a parking enforcement officer. Maybe he simply didn't hear Matt's question (pesky hearing loss!).

It is not earlier in their relationship. Matt knows better.

Matt exits the platform, and somehow makes it out to the street all in one piece. A little well-timed bumbling gets a couple of kind strangers to hold doors open for him when he needs them. Past that, he follows the gentle purr of a high-powered engine and the familiar sound of Jason's heartbeat in close proximity. He suspects Jason will be a laying it on thick when he spots him. Taking his bags, getting the door, full VIP treatment. Matt will let him. Once they're in the car, he'll have him cornered anyway.

"Good thing you got that spot when you did," Matt says clicking his seatbelt into place and leaning in for a peck. He waits until Jason's down's the road a ways before adding innocently, "Remind me, is it an 'I'm not Daredevil wink wink' few days or not? I didn't hear what you said earlier."

#he just left!#jason peterthon todd#hoodedmenace
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hoodedmenace

"Then he'll be getting Flamebird's attention." Jason rumbles more than he laughs, but, yeah, some moron calling himself the Gingerbread Man would fuck with the Gotham trains to get Batman's attention. Thankfully, he's pretty sure that's not in the cards for tonight. "Uh, not at a lot, really. Me, Alfred, Tim—he's the new kid I've been telling you about, keep your phone away from him and enable like, five-factor authorization or whatever. Dick, obviously, his—" Wally? The Flash? How the hell is he supposed to explain that too? And this is entirely dependent on how quickly Matt catches on to who exactly Bruce is because it's super convenient for all the birds to be living under one roof reporting to the same man.

At this point, he just thinks it's funny to keep stretching it out as long as possible. "—his boyfriend. Some of B's circle are probably going to drop by at their own leisure. Dick's friends. Bruce. Probably." A pause. "...I think at this point it's easier to ask who doesn't know. That's complicated. It's fine, you'll see when you get here."

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mxttmurdock

"I — wow. For a family that tends to juggle double identities, you really tell each other everything." Matt doesn't know what to do with that. In some ways, Jason keeps so few secrets. Matt can't even imagine it.

"You know, given that Tim seems to be an actual wizard when it comes to computers, I'm just going to assume he ran a deep background check on me, poked around my email accounts for dirt, found every embarrassing photo of me on the internet, and knows I'm You-Know-Who." Honestly, where is Wayne finding these kids?

He's not even going to comment on the casual way Jason tossed out that some of Batman's circle is going to drop by. Every time he remembers that Jason is on first-name basis with Wonder Woman, he nearly chokes.

"So no one else knows I'm — you know — right?"

#can't wait til matt realizes tim is the new robin#hoodedmenace
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hoodedmenace

"No, baby, of course I'm gonna make you take a cab and walk." The tinny sound coming through Jason's end as background noise signifies that he's somewhere with a crowd, and the tone of his voice suggests that he very much is joking. "We have a giant door knocker cast in the shape of a huge dollar sign and snipers situated on every roof. Obviously we don't have a doorbell." Jason's voice drifts for a moment, away from the speaker to say oh, yeah, just the two, thanks before he comes back.

"As long as the basket and your stuff can fit in the backseat of the Firebird, we don't have a problem. I'm sure Alfred will be absofuckinglutely delighted." A shuffle, like Jason is shifting the phone from one shoulder to the other. "How far out are you? Just so I know how much time to keep killing."

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mxttmurdock

"The Firebird? You wouldn't be showing off for me at all, would you?" Matt's practically lapping it up. He has decided to live inside the contradiction of disliking Bruce Wayne's extravagant displays of wealth and thinking Jason's are charming and sweetly indulgent. Just add it to the list of the mental gymnastics he does every day.

"I'm thirty minutes away assuming some guy calling himself the Gingerbread Man doesn't stop the train in order to get Batman's attention." One day Jason will get tired of him ragging relentlessly on Gotham, and until that day's Matt's going to keep it up. "Hey, I meant to ask, who all is going to be around the house for the holidays? Have you told everyone about me?"

#hoodedmenace
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