not to sound like a boomer, but I need some people to learn how to write emails in a semi-professional (at the very least) format so you're not cold emailing a business/potential employer/any other stranger about formal matters in the exact same way you'd DM a close friend on instagram

the formality/language can loosen up in the email chain once you've established a rapport and you match the other person if they're being less formal, but please don't have the very first email you send a stranger be written in all lowercase ultra-casual sms slang with no greeting or signature and a billion emojis

Can I just ask, why?

(adding your tags since I'm addressing them)

It’s polite, for one. Professional doesn’t need to mean elaborate—in fact, most professional emails are aiming to be as clear and concise as possible. (in english at least, I know some other languages have some very complicated and elaborate email etiquette)

Greetings and signatures also don’t need to be elaborate. I feel like lots of people overthink it and assume that professional emails need the whole “dear x, my name is x and I am writing this email to inform you about [topic], sincerely [my name and all my contact info]” shebang, when really it’s as simple as adding a quick greeting/signature and avoiding super informal slang.

Here’s an comparison using art commission inquiry as the topic, written with zero extra fluff:

If I want to add a little more fluff, maybe I write:

Those are very short while also being more polite than an email that just says:

with zero greeting/signature and very informal tone. 

There’s still a person on the other side reading that email, and just like how being polite with a customer service agent on the phone will get you better results than being rude with them, sending a clear and professional email will have you taken more seriously by whoever is reading it. All 3 emails get the same point across, but the last one leaves a much worse impression. You don’t speak to your close friends the same way you’d speak to strangers, and it’s the same in text form. I get so many emails that are just abrupt questions, with not even a quick "thank you" either in the initial email or as a follow-up after I respond, because they ghost me as if I'm just a chat bot answering questions.

I know complaining about email language sounds like a ~corporate america white-collar bullshit~ kinda thing, and there is indeed significantly more elaborate email etiquette that can vastly differ depending on your job/field that I’m not addressing at all, but just having the very basics goes a long way in how your emails are viewed by other people.

Adding on the even worse option that myself and many artists I know have gotten in DMs which is just

And we just???? You have given us zero information or expectations of what this conversation will be. You could be a scammer or trying to harass us/someone or a parasocial relationship or asking about our work/seeking a commission.

The artist here now needs to weigh the emotional risk of dealing with any number of wild, exhausting, upsetting conversations against the chance that Maybe this is a paying customer and How much do you need that money right now?

Even in DMs, at minimum, please just have a greeting (so we feel like a human being and not an art machine) and a statement of Why you are contacting us.

I can't even count the amount of "Hi" messages I've gotten. They are always assumed to be spam by default and never responded to.

It should be illegal to have a bus stop without a bench I am 1000% serious rn

I'm a survivor of the terror attacks who lived 4 blocks east of the World Trade Center. I lost my home that day, spent years homeless and destitute, and I carry a Zadroga Act diagnosis of 9/11-connected PTSD. If anyone who's doing this RP needs character coaching or if you need help with authentic scenarios, I'm available for consulting services at reasonable rates. DM me here or leave your number on the men's room wall at any leather bar and it'll get to me in 24 hours. Happy 9/11 y'all, and remember fireworks are unsafe and illegal in most jurisdictions.

Some chickens I painted last night 🐓

This little asshole keeps getting into a bird feeder, so we need to test how small is *too* small

3 inch opening: no problem

2.75 inch opening: Easy

2.5 inch opening: doing fine

2.25 inch opening: Bit of a struggle, but as Mr Meeseeks says: CAAAN DOO!

2 inch opening: Alright, lets try chewing the opening a bit, As long as we get the nuts into the mouth (huhuhu) we good I guess…

Uh-oh… Steve is getting greedy

:insert grunts of effort here:

Taking a break…

The guy who made the original video decided after a long struggle to help Steve out.

A New Challenger approaches!

1.75 inchs: Quote Mr Meseeks: “OOOHHH HE’S TRYING”

GIMME GIMME GIMME

He ends up giving up.

Source: Chris Notap - Squirrel ● literally ● bites off more than he can chew ! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sS4ach0CwN4

via imgur

Science

I love it

What I learned is that I am not the only person who calls all squirrels Steve

stop it steve

mood:

His little hands at the end sent me into a frenzy of laughter.

hnmmm what if i just HHEGGDHEHHDGGEGEGGDGGDGEGEGE

At any given time I am probably one of these squirrel gifs

At any given

time I am probably one

of these squirrel gifs

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

​

Some of my favorite stupid ass things the terrible Google AI answer bot has said, curated from around the web by yours truly

I have so many of these

“When someone asks you to read abt an oppressed group and then they link you a bunch of tumblr posts”

It may surprise you but the people making those posts are real people.

Is a trans women writing about transmisogyny immediately wrong because she posted her writing to tumblr?

Is a disabled person writing about ableism immediately wrong because they posted their writing to tumblr?

Historically oppressed groups have been denied the ability to publish their experiences so they turned to alternative ways to get people to listen. And right now that alternative way is social media.

It may surprise you

but the people making those

posts are real people.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

i understand toddlers cuz if i was just born a couple years ago and someone tried to get me to understand and say words while i'm growing insane amounts of teeth very quickly and painfully i'd be having a temper tantrum on the floor of a department store too

at the point in my life where whenever a kid cries in public i'm like man i get it. carry on

[ ID: A Facebook post by Joe Rivera that reads, "she lets me hit because i use his pronouns interchangably and they like that". /end ID ]

save for yourself and for future generations

reblog to save a life

For any lovelies with graduations coming up 💕

You all deserve to look bomb as hell at your graduation 😘

Aww, that’s so cute :)

this video starts circulating every year around graduation season and it makes me really happy

Super useful tip for people with large heads too!! Thanks :D

am I graduating? No

do I know anyone who’s graduating? I don’t think so

do we even wear this caps where I live? No

am I reblogging this anyway? Of course!

character: *isn’t 100% good or evil*

The Internet: hello naughty children it’s Discourse time

character: *is actually 100% evil*

The Internet: defense squad uwu

character: *is actually, truly, for once 100% good*

The Internet: um actually in issue 9374 page 297 line 2 they said something that the villain also said way back in issue 27, so sorry sweaty but they’re actually a bad guy

Reblogging for the last one.

#character 1 is a white woman #character 2 is a white man #character 3 is a poc

glad google ai is on top of this

Renfield.

This assumes a single fly weighs 8g, which is the weight of a 1-2 week old mouse (!). If you are unfamiliar with metrics: 100g is a bit less a quarter of a pound.

Btw, Wikipedia says a single house fly weighs in the range of 0.2 grams, so Google has discovered a world where flies are about 40x bigger

I was going to tell you that horseflies still absolutely do not weigh 8 grams

but I found a funnier answer

wear robes do magic serve cunt

a chicken the size of the sun. glowing brightly. gently warming her eggs as they orbit around her

the eggs are very large and she loves them a lot

big chicken news: the largest egg has hatched and is waddling around the solar system pecking at comets and gasses. the shell pieces have formed a flaky asteroid belt. sun chicken is happy

stars spread across the sky like kernels of corn

update: tiny astronaut people from one of the eggs have landed on the surface of the big baby chick and are petting her wings. she is very soft