A feathered creature and he's come to see me

get in.

This little friend was in my dream last night

poor, disposable Michael

ID under cut!

Keep reading

[ID: a thread of replies from censored users, with each user as a different color.

Neon Green: "i truly hate it here <3"

Blue: "Now replace 'it' with women. Not so funny now is it?"

Red: "Now replace 'it' with women. Not so funny now is women?"

Blue: "Now replace 'funny' with it. Not so it now is women?"

Purple: "I'm having a fucking stroke."

Light green: "Replace 'stroke' with 'baby.' Congratulations." / End ID]

Literally it’s insane how the laundry never stops. There is always laundry

horror is when a fucked up guy looks at you. comedy is when you look at a fucked up guy.

what if we’re both fucked up and we look at each other?

gay romance

replaced all human emotions with eurobeat and nightcore

Little hummingbird clearwing moth....but with paws ✨

i love ponyo. it’s just like “yeah here’s this bizarro wizard who used to be human but is now amphibious and trying to bring about the apocalypse via elixirs and such who’s married to a gigantic powerful sea goddess who seems charmed by humanity but also doesnt care enough about them to stop her husband from trying to annihilate them. anyway, ignore all that: one of their goldfish children has a crush on a human boy!” and they were right

"girlcock" I'm sorry who else has cocks beside girls????

WAIT WE FORGOT NONBINARY COCKS

I believe it's called thock

my cousin thockmorton

things are going to be difficult. But you

are going to be difficulter

thats the spirit!!!!! be a problem to your problems!!!!!!!!! mark your territory! !!!!!!!

My friend texted this to me and said she couldn’t tell if this was a drink or drain cleaner

it's giving me such mixed messages like it says "non-toxic" and "industrial strength" but also "no sugar" and "gluten-free"

the drink of all time

if you think showing ur kids harry potter will radicalize them u are wrong and u should just instead watch a bug’s life and chicken run. there are gays in there, even. no not “canonically,” shut up, i’m old and in my day we simply UNDERSTOOD when a chicken was a lesbian or a stick bug was a gay man with the telepathic connection between our massive gay brains like the baby geniuses. i took a benadryl

Well, I found your problem. You have minor water damage… Probably due to a leak somewhere. It might take a while to find it.

How?!

There are many benefits to being a Marine Biologist

There are many benefits to being a Marine Biologist

There are many benefits to being a Marine Biologist

There are many benefits to being a Marine Biologist.

[ID: a series of pictures of a white guy in Handwerker get-up with a toolbox and no diving equipment looking around a sunken ship underwater. He appears to be inspecting it and noting stuff down on a clip board. /End ID]

Tangela