Thoughts And Consequences

Ouch. Coyote foreleg with healing injury

this is targeted tumblr content

This is what language is for. Evolution. Ridiculous, wonderful evolution.

This is so good, I'm awake at 3am and glad of it - for this has arrived on my dash like a boss

the "tried to make him the main character" part killed me bc, indeed, caesar is not the main character of Shakespeare's Julius Caesar

@suzeranity - OMG 😂😂

“They all did slay”

This is SO DAMN DAMN GOOD. I think Shakespeare would have approved.

we did the best we could to extract the perfect columbo reaction gif, and here it is - been wanting to make this for bloody weeks

You, a heroic paladin have successfully slain a fearsome dragon. But the dragon warns you that death is but a door, and dragons don’t die, they reincarnate. You paid it no mind….until your son was born with golden, slitted eyes.

curious friends and family: hey why does your kid have golden eyes

paladin who for sure fucked the dragon instead of killing it, thinking fast: dragons uh. reincarnate. surprised you didn’t know about that. it’s a common fact that i definitely did not make up. no further questions

summer is coming up lads..

fight fight kiss kiss fight fight

@arengnera for the best explanation of the conundrum

I hope every writer who sees this writes LOADS the next few months. Like freetime opens up, no writers block, the ability to focus, etc etc you're able to write loads & make lots of progress <3

Mythbusters have 3 categories of myths

4. Turn up the dynamite, let's MAKE it real

You know, as the concept of “zombifying fungi” becomes more and more popular, I notice it still referred to everywhere as like a “brain parasite.” So I guess a lot of people overlooked or forgot how in 2019 it was discovered that cordyceps and other similar fungal parasites leave the brain and nervous system completely untouched. They only control the muscles. They use chemical signals to make the muscles flex in real time where they want to go :)

It’s funny how many people are replying “but that’s worse!” like you didn’t know that’s exactly why I put a smiley

Jack Black did more of Hit Me Baby One More Time, and I am living for this.

BABYYYYYY I DIDNT KNOW I WAS SUPPOSED TO FALL IN LOVE TODAY

Me: Okay guys remember that it’s important in improv to establish your characters at the beginning of the scene.

Students: ok

Student 1: Hello. I am the president of the United States.

Student 2: Hello madame president. I’m William Shakespeare and I’m here to assassinate you.

This is the best opening to a scene I've ever heard of

Here’s how the scene actually went as nearly as I can remember.

Student 1: I’m the president of the United States. How can I help you?

Student 2: I’d like to make a complaint about the Vice President.

Student 1: Okay let me just get out my chalkboard where I tally complaints about the Vice President. Let’s see, that makes five… hundred! What’s your complaint?

Student 2: Well you see, I’m here to assassinate you, but I don’t think that guy should take over when you’re dead.

Student 1: Okay let me make some calls. Beep boop beep boop beep beep beep. Hello? I’m here with— What’s your name?

Student 2: I’m William Shakespeare.

Student 1: I’m here with William Shakespeare and he convinced me we need to replace the Vice President. When? Let me ask. — When were you planning to assassinate me?

Student 2: I mean I was thinking like, as soon as I was done talking to you.

Student 1: Okay sounds good. Yes we need to replace him right now, one moment. Beep beep boop beep. Hello? You’re fired. Bye. Ring, ring. Oh, it’s my assistant again. Hello? What’s that? Oh, they want to know if you’re the same William Shakespeare who wrote Romeo and Juliet.

Student 2: Yes, that’s me.

Student 1: What’s that? He’s been dead for four hundred years? Okay thank you goodbye. Sorry they said you’ve been dead for four hundred years so you can’t assassinate me.

This kitty looks so mad

CLAWMYDIA?????

We ask your questions so you don’t have to! Submit your questions to have them posted anonymously as polls.

Novice sewing pattern: Cut out shapes. Line up the little triangles on the edges. Stitch edges together. We've also included step-by-step assembly instructions with illustrations.

Novice knitting pattern: yOU MUSt uNDerstANd thE SECret cOdE CO67 (73, 87, 93) BO44 (63, 76, 90) 28 (32, 34) slip first pw repeat 7x K to end *kl (pl) 42 * until 13" (13, 13, 15) join new at 30 pl for 17 rows ssk 27 k2tog mattress lengthwise BO and sacrifice a goat to the knitting gods. WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU WANT "INSTRUCTIONS," I JUST GAVE THEM TO YOU