Sorry for being such a slow writer, it's because I [remembers that self-deprecating jokes are harmful to my mental health and make everyone else uncomfortable] was attacked by dark spirits and washed up on the shore of a mysterious island with no recollection of who I was
"con artist" is maybe the profession with the biggest gap between How Cool They Are In Media and How Cool They Are In Real Life
fictional con artist: I've gathered you all here because you each have unique skills and specialties that will be required for the Ultimate Heist: psychologically destroying the richest man in the world, and taking his mansions, his yacht, and his wife in the process.
real life con artist: plan A is to scare an old lady who barely speaks English. plan B, is to trick unemployed people into giving us money, which they famously have a lot of, in exchange for broadly-defined Career Services. plan C is we try to make NFTs a thing again
[image description: a doodle of a bipedal cat with large pleading eyes and a small smile holding a red balloon. the red balloon reads: temporary and small joy is still joy nonetheless
/end ID]
elon musk had a third child with grimes that he kept secret until the release of his biography. he named it techno mechanicus
can you imagine being an adult nepo baby at a company your rich dad invested in and having to walk into the boardroom first day like. hi everyone. my name is techno mechanicus
I can tell this is fake because "techno mechanicus" doesn't start with X
OH SON OF A BITCH
I haven't been reblogging this post because I genuinely assumed you guys were Goncharoving a nepo baby
beautiful drawing I saw in the women's bathroom last night at the bar
it would be one thing if it was just the horrors but it's all the little horrorcitos también
I TRIED TO CONVERT A NON-FUNCTIONING VIDEO IN VEGAS AND IT FUCKED UP
staying with my father and my teenage brother occasionally has been very enlightening actually i need to think about it positively
hmmm ok. fascinating. okay. amazing. and i have to live like this? okay
New Coraline design drop
speechless. the pose. the expression. this should be a painting.
i'm no good at painting sorry. i have excessive line work instead
happy birthday all asexuals
ten years from now there's going to be a brand new type of emo girl whos posting dark edits of bluey saying swear words and doing xanax like they've been doing with hello kitty for decades now. and it's gonna be awesome
this goes hard
yeah as soon as I wake up no longer fatigued for the first time in my life I'll be set
