what the actual fuck

Men don’t know women can pee

ive been sitting on the toilet for 20 minutes trying to piss but the pee keeps getting lost in my confusing Woman Body

IS THIS WHY MEN THINK WOMEN TAKE LONGER IN THE BATHROOM?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I was a better person before I read this.

I have to admit, there are few things more awe-inspiring than approaching a row of urinals, the men in a row, shirts up, pants dropped, peering down like Gods on Olympus, smiting the porcelain with their cacophonous waste.

Hey everyone check THIS out *floats lifelessly down a river*

Yes! Wilson Just Released A Line Of Gloves With Extra Little Strings To Pick At For Kids Who Would Rather Be At Home Drawing

Well, this makes us wish we were kids again.

Some little sluggers were born to play baseball, but it takes all kinds to build a Little League team. Luckily, the folks at Wilson Sporting Goods have just delivered in a big way for all those players who don’t fit the standard mold: This week, they released a line of baseball gloves with extra strings to pick at for kids who would rather be drawing at home!

Literally all the yes! This just made some kid’s whole freaking life.

Wilson’s new A525 “Daydreamer” series gloves feature nearly twice as many little strings as conventional baseball gloves, giving young players no end of options to fidget with as they shuffle anxiously in the outfield, wishing they were inside with some nice, sharp colored pencils. For any kid counting down the hours until they can get home and trace Venom out of their How To Draw Comics The Marvel Way book, this mitt and its pre-loosened laces are a total godsend, offering endless picking potential through inning after interminable inning.

No matter whether you’re a string picker, a string chewer, or the kind of kid who just sits down, takes the glove off, and thinks about whether to draw a guy with two swords or one big sword that breaks apart into two separate swords, Wilson’s got you covered.

Of course, this glove is no slouch when it comes to fielding. The glove comes complete with a ParaShock palm pad to absorb impact from pop flies you’ve spent the whole game fearing, and is made of durable pigskin leather that somehow still won’t be broken in by the end of the season. Wilson even designed the glove specifically for long, slender fingers and easily bent wrists, making it an ideal fit for left fielders who are really only keeping at this because their dad buys them a meatball sub and salt-and-vinegar chips after the game, and who know full well that they could be using the time to draw a new type of wyvern that does electric blasts.

Consider us super jealous, because it sounds like playing Little League just got a whole lot more awesome!

I feel really exposed by this.

From the Wikihow article “How to Keep a Toad As a Pet”

The Washington Bee, Washington DC, November 8, 1902

Uh oh.

this picture is better and more suspenseful than any super man comic on earth.

People look down on McDonald’s employees but fail to realize that if all these folks left McDonald’s and pursued “better careers”  your ass wouldn’t be able to get a McDouble with an Oreo McFlurry at 3am. 

You can’t demand a service while simultaneously degrading those who provide it for you. 

You can’t demand a service while simultaneously degrading those who provide it for you. 

My favorite scene in that movie is the one where the lone, screaming skeleton navigates his way through a raging tempest.

that hotel california comic makes me lose my shit every single time & i’m so thankful for it honestly

there we go

Whoa.

I read this out loud to boyfriend and he just went “ohhhhhhhhh” 

That’s fucking brilliant.