This is one of my favorite childhood stories.

WHAT THE FUCK

I loved these books

me irl

imagine you’re on a road trip with the love of your life and your boyfriend like, insists you pick up this fucked up little hitchhiker who’s like 4 feet tall and looks like he’s literally about to die, then you hear the hitchhiker conspiring to KILL you and your boyfriend and steal your shit, so you tell your boyfriend and he’s like “oh no he’s harmless you’re lying” and basically this fucked up danny devito sized slimeball breaks up your relationship and your boyfriend leaves you on the side of the road!! that’s what happened to samwise gamgee.

this is so fucking funny that it literally gave me an asthma attack that i am still currently experincing

they’re literally living in a completely different world wow

Rob Delaney is a comedian and this is a joke.

people really saw leah give fatin this look

and thought “this bitch is straight”???????

“fuck you my child is fine” ma’am your child was a pleasure to have in class

This one hits a little too close to home

Absolute shock followed by relief.

okay but like who is he

Okay but for real who is he I want to suck his dick

catholic pez

good work everyone

(cartoon by Adam Zyglis)

indie band name generator:

your favourite fruit + the last reason you took painkillers

john mulaney speaks how us gays type idk how this makes sense but it does