"But what about second breakfast"

i mean. who said that.

I love this guy

You know what fantasy stories don't use enough? Different measuring scales, and confusion caused by them. Because before the metric system, practically every place and culture had their own measures for weights, lengths and distances. It would be fun to add that into a story for added realistic cultural confusion.

The average dwarf is four or five feet tall, but not in human measures. Yeah they're still shorter than humans but the dwarf foot (and the namesake measure of length) is bigger in proportion to their body. "Is that in dwarf feet or human feet?" is a common question to hear on construction sites, wherever human carpenters and dwarf masons are working together.

A dedicated local Common Misconception Historian has a pet peeve about the whole "princess Featherblade was only 12 years old when she led the attack on Marshland Halls" -myth, because the historical recordings on the human side are off. While she was remarkably young, that myth came about back in the day when humans were still trying to apply "dog years" to elves, and in an elven life span, 120 years is not a direct equivalent to a 12-year-old human.

A whole culture whose smallest unit of weight loosely translates to "about as much as an apple", and varies from region to region depending on the size of local apples. These people are famed for their alchemists, whose uncanny ability to simply measure their ingredients by heart, making their recipes essentially impossible to replicate. This famed skill is a matter of survivor bias - the ones that don't have that knack ten to explode into fine mist.

As a sidenote. Medieval construction sites actually decided at the beginning of the project just exactly whose feet, inches and thumbspaces they were going to use for this site. Then they’d post them on a board at the workshops so everyone could be on the same page here.

I want to believe that there have been several incidents where this desicion was resolved with a fist fight.

If your dwarfs live entirely underground, they have no reason to base your units for the passage of time on the movement of the sun and its subdivisions. You could use amounts of time you can work a reasonable shift, a decent break, the length of a breath, a normal heartbeat - these might all be different for a dwarf to what they are for anyone else, too - but how long it's light on the surface? That would involve interacting with the surface. You might fall into the sky!

was lamenting the fact that my eczema is flaring up when the thought "the itcher" popped into my head fully formed and unprompted and now i can't stop laughing

Congratulations to Marcille DungeonMeshi for achieving Pathetic Little Man status on tumblr, a hard glass ceiling for many female characters to break. I look forward to calling you my sopping wet beast and poor little meow meow for fandom days to come. Keep trucking babygirl, you'll bag Falin one day

happy passover, everyone

Do you ever think about how a single misguided study on wolves in captivity has resulted in both the most widespread toxic pseudoscientific theory in the manosphere and what is arguably the weirdest genre of graphic kinky gay fanfiction and depending on who you are and what you've seen you'll hear the word Alpha and either think of the platonic ideal of a cis het man or one feral mediocre middle aged actor's dick knot impregnating another's slick-drenched hole. Isn't the internet a wondrous place.

Underrated form of intimacy:

The quiet discussion and good-luck affirmations between you and the person helping you don your armor. The comfort of knowing that the straps and buckles are perfectly secure, because the person who did them up loves you more than words can say.

Equally underrated form of intimacy:

The absolute relief when a loved one helps you remove your armor. Not in a sexy way, no–you’re sweaty and exhausted and covered in bruises, and you feel instant relief when the pauldrons are lifted off your shoulders. You don’t have to worry about keeping track of the various pieces, because they’re already being lovingly wiped down and put safely away while you unlace your boots. The weight on your shoulders is replaced by a gentle touch, reminding you that someone is proud of you, and you’re safe to rest now.

I'm getting so pissed with people who are saying Gwen isnt trans. Like they're trying to explain why her dad has a trans patch on his jacket and why she has a trans flag in her room, by saying she supports trans people... wtf???? Literally what ally has a TRANS FLAG, IN THEIR ROOM, BECAUSE THEY SUPPORT TRANS PEOPLE??? That's some shit closeted me would tell my parents when they saw me drawing rainbows. People that are saying this shit are literally just transphobic and dont want her to be trans. Gwen is trans and fuck everyone that argues against that.

which one of these is the so called "american flag"

In Gwen’s universe trans people took over America and made the trans flag the national flag.

oh a TWIST

what the fuck did I just download

Context: I downloaded what's called simply "Encyclopedia of Religion" by Lindsay Jones because I found some articles online and they seemed well written in the style I like. I was like, okay, it must be one of those thick reference books, like, 500 pages long.

No. Apparently it's a 15-volume masterwork made by what I think are a hundred experts covering everything from Muslim Sufism to the Hindu Vedas to Slavic gods to the beliefs of the peoples of the Chaco to recent Afro-American religious movments to the structure of the papacy to Selkam religion and back. There are even individual articles on animals like bears and cats. It's honestly scary.

God must be in there, somewhere.

Bro just the preface + list of contents + list of contributors is 100 pages. I still haven't reached the index.

There's a Japanese dude who wrote articles about foxes, toads and frogs, hedgehogs, cocks (direct quote..). There's also articles about.., just reading titles: scholasticism, a lot of Muslim terms I'm not familiar with, theriantropism, that weird Japanese cult who did those sarin attacks, ancient canaaite religion, humor and islam, Jenovah's Witnesses, Gender in Celtic religions, an overview of prehistoric religion, and a lot of things I have never heard about. This is all from different collaborators listed on the same page.

This is just the table of contents. The encyclopedia starts in page 152.

This is scary. Did God write this.

If you want a link, you can find it on Anna's Archive by searching Encyclopedia of Religion, apparently by the Macmillan Library Reference.

It's 170mbs. I am not responsible if your PC crashes.

The thing is that every single article, even if it's half a page short (and they're all well written) has annotated bibliography and primary sources on it. You could seriously get lost forever here.

Shh babygirl, I know it's not actually 7,000 steps to High Hrothgar. It's actually 763, but canonically, it's 7,000. Shh, I know love. It's ok. It's Skyrim Darling,followers can get trapped in walls,people can swim in mid air and you can break doors with dinner plates. Let it go. It will all be alright.

The devastating difference between how much time it takes to write something vs how fast people read it lol

you're falling in the trap!! it will be read by many people, many times, and it will live on in their memories. and maybe no single other human will match you in time spent dedicated to your story, but as a collective we will outlast you. acts of creation only grow when they are shared

This. Writing is not like dinner. It can be consumed many times

Never before have I identified with a tv character so much.

tfw you’re an Evil Tome

on the one hand, extremely funny to get told “get help” by a fortune cookie, on the other, i can’t believe betterhelp has breached influencers and podcasters and started getting fortune cookies to shill for them