taiga

my parents were like im going to make a daughter that is so beyond help

my music taste is so banger i will listen to songs i like and be like hey i really like those

Do you want to color a picture this afternoon together, sweetie? I would love to do that with you! Would you like to pick the picture that we’re going to color? Ooh I love that. Go grab your crayons while I bring us a snack, okay? Good job! What do you want me to color, baby? I think our picture is looking beautiful just like you! How many colors have we used so far, little one? Good job counting to five! Can you tell me the names of all of the colors? You’re so smart my sweet tiny one. Our picture looks perfect. Would you like to put it on the fridge? I’m so proud of you. Yes, sweetheart! I agree with you. We do make a wonderful team.

It's important to remember that, no matter what you were told growing up or whatever someone might be trying to convince you now, fighting is not a normal part of any relationship.

Differences in opinions are normal. Bad days are normal. Moments where you're irritated and tired and want space are normal. Having to sit down and talk something out is normal.

Shouting matches, insults, threats, arguments that last for hours, passive agression, purposely trying to hurt one another, these things are NOT normal or healthy.

This goes for every relationship. Family, romance, friends, peers, there is no kind of relationship where trying to tear the other person apart is okay.

Abusers will swear to you that it's impossible to have a relationship without blowing up at each other on the regular.

They are wrong.

Having ur main emotional response be crying is so embarrassing like ill be trying to explain why im mad or ill try having a serious convo abt smthn that upsets me and ill start crying like a baby and i have to like turn around and go “i am not crying 4 pity or to emotionally manipulate u im crying cuz im a little bitch, give me a sec”

I have this problem. A lot. And it used to suck to have people (my family especially) always use my crying against me in an argument-my dad would say I’m emotionally manipulative or that I’m throwing a tantrum and minimize my genuine arguments. But you know what helped?

Don’t acknowledge it.

Just. I know you can’t stop yourself from crying and your voice from cracking and your hands from shaking. If you’re with someone you trust, I’d suggest asking for a break- tears mean you’re reaching a breaking point, it means your body is trying to relieve the immense pressure.

But if you’re not just… Don’t acknowledge your own crying. Treat it like a sneeze or a cough. Keep talking through your tears, maintain eye contact. If your voice cracks, clear your throat, say “excuse me” and move on. Take deep breaths. Try and consciously relax your muscles one by one.

The worst part of crying during an argument is the feeling of being invalidated because of it and for me, specifically, it has helped so much to just not give the other person the chance to even bring it up. If they say “you’re crying” I say “yes. Anyway” and keep talking about my main argument. I don’t acknowledge them. We move on.

Ideally you don’t have to protect yourself like that (crying shouldn’t feel like a mistake, or like it makes you small and worthless), but honestly… Sometimes it’s better than the alternative