Classic Trek was never subtle. Ever.

| FALCON & WINTER SOLDIER (2020) #2

By Derek Landy and Federico Vicentini

when an introvert man found their soulmate who's an extrovert, they became one. they will match each other's energy no matter what💖

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DO NOT DO THIS!!!

If a website has a paywall, like New York Times, DO NOT use the ctrl+A shortcut then the ctrl+c shortcut as fast as you can because then you may accidentally copy the entire article before the paywall comes up. And definitely don't do ctrl+v into the next google doc or whatever you open because then you will accidentally paste the entire article into a google doc or something!!!! I repeat DO NOT do this because it is piracy which is absolutely totally wrong!!!

Also do NOT append "12ft.io/" before a URL ! Typing an URL like this https://12ft.io/<URL> will redirect to a site that would break the display of the page by removing the paywall !

Honestly it's kind of prohibited to mash CTRL+P before some paywall windows can load in to get a PDF of the article. Really shouldn't be done tbh very dangerous🤷🏿‍♂️ ❌️

best brownies in the known universe (at least, according to my grandma)

some year and a half ago when i was getting ready to move out i combed through all the family recipes that lay lost to time and one of the ones that i found was my grandmas brownie recipe. idk where she got it from (nor can i ask cause she has dementia) and its a printed out email she sent to my mom in june 2000. but by george these the best brownies i have ever tasted. would she be pleased that i am sharing this recipe with my vast following? absolutely.

YOU WILL NEED:

5 tablespoons butter (unsalted) 1 ounce unsweetened baking chocolate (or as much as your heart desires) 2/3 cup unsweetened good cocoa powder 1 cup sugar (white) (superfine preferred, normal works fine) 1 cup sifted white flour (can use gluten free) 1/2 teaspoon baking powder as much cinnamon as your heart desires (your heart needs to desire at least some cinnamon. its essential to the recipe) 3 egg whites 1 egg splash of vanilla extract (again, non negotiable step!)

preheat your oven to 325 degrees. grease a square baking pan (9x9 preferably).

in a small saucepan over medium heat melt the butter and baking chocolate. while that is melting, sift together the flour, baking powder and cinnamon into a small bowl. once the butter and chocolate is done melting add the cocoa powder and cook it together for 1 minute. add in the sugar and stir. it will get very thick. this is correct.

set that aside to cool. while thats cooling take a large bowl and put in your egg whites, egg and vanilla. beat it up with preferably a whisk but you can use a fork if youre fresh out of whisks. once the chocolate is cool enough to not scramble your eggs dump it in the eggs and mix it together. add the flour in gradually and keep mixing until its smooth and happy.

spread into your greased baking pan. put it in the oven for EXACLTLY 18 MINUTES. very crucial step. they will come out slightly under done. that is what we want. as they cool they will continue to cook in the pan. we dont want them to get hard and sad. they are not good when they are hard and sad. do not overbake them. you will be sad.

slice them up and as the official last step on the original recipe says: EAT ENJOY AND MAKE MORE! (theyre very good with mint chocolate chip ice cream)

Love how tumblr has its own folk stories. Yeah the God of Arepo we’ve all heard the story and we all still cry about it. Yeah that one about the woman locked up for centuries finally getting free. That one about the witch who would marry anyone who could get her house key from her cat and it’s revealed she IS the cat after the narrator befriends the cat.

Might I add:

The defeat of the wizard who made people choose how they’d be to be executed

The woman who raised the changeling alongside her biological child

The human who died of radiation poisoning after repairing the spaceship

The adventures of a space roomba

Cinderella finding Araura (and falling in love)

I don’t know a snappy description but the my nemesis cynthia story certainly lives in my head

hilariously, these are almost all in my fic tag. so, a compiled list from the notes (and some extras):

I am in love with you /p

What about the one with the princess locked in a tower learning to become a wizard? That’s lived in my mind for years and I haven’t seen it in a long time

Oh, love that story, adding it to the list: 20. Princess Talia and adding a few more contenders 21. Thyme 22. The Monster under the Bed 23. A Meaningful Death 24. Humans are unstoppable…until they aren’t 25. The Monster under the Fridge 26. Antler Guy 27. Cleric slamming healing spells

Adding a few more I remembered:  28. The Frog and the Scorpion 29. HSTHETE 30. The First Witch in the World 31. Imagine that Oceans were replaced by Forests  32. A Faerie taking a Name  33. The Dragon on the Farm  34. Synovus & Menace  35. Raising the Anti-Christ  36. Aliens vs. Flora & Fauna of Earth (pretty sure there are even more additions to the original post but I had this one saved)  37. Doctors without Borders…in Space!  38. The Villain-Wrangler  39. The Last Contact  40. The 100 Parent-Point Children  41. And the Heavens Wept  42. The Night Gentleman  43. The Serpent God and their Priestess 

44. No One Showed Up for the Last Storytime

Wow! @writing-prompt-s contributing to like half of these!

I can hardly take any credit for these stories! But I love sharing them. Unfortunately I cannot read all the prompt responses so please tag me if you want me to reblog a story that resonated with you so I can give it a little boost :)

@suzeranity - moar tumblr fics!!

New zine that's free for anyone to print and distribute! Read the whole thing at newlevant.com/COVIDzine or in the rest of this post.

kurt vonnegut, being good at things is not the point of doing them.

the primordial serpent

This is the cat Thor tried to lift...

...unaware it was in fact Jormungandr the Midgard Serpent and not just a giant cat doing The Thing.

Or indeed a Skogkatt doing Ðe Þing.

There's a whole bunch of TikTok drama at the moment after someone posted a video asking "would you rather be alone in the woods with a bear or a strange man?"

And the men are *very upset* that nearly every woman replied with "....obviously a bear."

It's honestly wild (I think some of these guys think that bears are movie monsters, craving human flesh).

But it boils down to this- they want you to expect the worst from the bear and the best from the stranger, and they are deeply offended that this isn't the case. 🤷

I have several people interpret this question as "attacked by a bear or attacked by a man" but that isn't the question.

Yes, a bear can hurt or kill a human. Yes a human can hurt or kill (or commit other forms of harm on) another human.

The reasons a bear might get aggressive are pretty few and they are very clear about their intentions. The reasons a human might attack another human are much much more numerous and humans are both capable and likely to hide that motivation.

I don't think I could defeat an aggressive bear, but I DO think I'm more likely to have control over whether a run in with a bear becomes violent. If a man in the woods WANTS to become violent, there's nearly nothing I can do or say that would dissuade him.

odin is like “when thor was born the sun shone bright upon his beautiful face. i found loki on the sidewalk outside a taco bell”

Oðinn spake:

Bright the sun shone | at the time of Þor’s birth, And bathed his count'nance fair. Loki, wolf-father, | the trickster, the liar, I found on the cold pavement While returning in glory | from a grand hunt For a 3 AM quesadilla.

@damn-fuck-i-burnt-myself-again

I need this framed on my wall it’s so beautiful. 

@theshitpostcalligrapher

ay @systlin hmu

@systlin

My husband complained that this was more Shakespeare than Eddas, and I challenged him to do better.

Solen sken, skönt gyllene

Dagen Tor föddes

På trottoaren, vid Taco Bell

Där låg Loke

—KJN

My translation:

The sun shone, sweet golden

The day of Tor’s birth

On the tarmac, by Taco Bell

There lay Loki

(For poetry reasons, Thor needs the Swedish spelling.)

@bold-sartorial-statement

ay yo show ur husband 

@bold-sartorial-statement no but hang on this should be in runes: 

(oops spot the typos)

i wanna translate this into icelandic so imma do it 

Sólin skein, björt og gullin við fæðingu Þórs á stígnum við Taco Bell Þar lá Loki

The amount of quality going into these shitposts is amazing

This is not shitposting, this is transformative work!

so fun fact yall. A certain someone splurged out the cash to get this remastered with illumination, what do yall think?

This is seriously one of my favorite things - I kind of need to print these out and hang them in my office

i mean. this was a commission. I don’t have a scan of it, and i’m not sure if @kirkspocks and @bold-sartorial-statement would be alright with me turning it into a print

reminder that this poster is available now, i got into contact w/both of the orig content writers^^ !!

here’s the link for the poster, i do the gold my hand on each digital print!

i’m gonna be real, yall. If I put this print back up for a limited run (like. maybe 20 total prints?) would yall be interested?

OKAY FOLKS GO TO THE LINK ABOVE,

I’ve reactivated the listing for

TWENTY

prints only! A fun lil revival print, but y'gotta move fast since I’ve decided to limited run the thing

jesus christ yall were fast

it’s been a DAY, I’m down to 6 prints left

spock on theremin what is he playing

Lego Star Wars makes me so happy.

Steve, whispering in Nat’s ear: omg that guy is HOT-

Nat: can we not do this right now?

Steve: holy shit, that’s my boyfriend

Nat: okay-

Steve: THATS MY BOYFRIEND

Nat: he is TRYING to KILL US