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my hero. my mate.

@dulosis / dulosis.tumblr.com

Hi everyone! I'm tumblr user dulosis, but you can call me S [they/them]. Welcome to my blog, where I make a general fool of myself. I have a thing for sweatpants, Selena Gomez, Jesy Nelson, and Taylor Swift, but all you really need to know about me is that (1) I was once voted "most likely to be abducted by aliens and write about it later" during high school for a thing, and (2) when I was in college, me and my best friend drove eight hours just to get ribs. Despite adulthood, I haven't changed much since. Please see this tag for details.
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Posts
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reblogged
phneltwrites
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sapphling

predatory development & leasing practices coupled with stagnating wages have led to a preponderance of studio & 1br apartments that's rapidly destroying the realworld dark kink sexual market out here. it's gotten to the point where "i want you to put me in your basement/shed" is essentially the same thing as saying "i want you to fly me to monaco in your private jet." where is she even supposed to keep me tied up? the 4'x5' balcony? the open-floor-plan combination living room and kitchen? Enough.

#alas
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angryonabus
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scientia-rex

Okay! I'm back. I took a week off to avoid the notes that were like "telling people not to vote for a third-party candidate in the general election because one guy is objectively worse than the other is endorsing genocide" and I've blocked a few people but mostly I'm planning on just continuing to ignore them.

My favorite might be the person who said I was probably recommending Machiavelli's Art of War rather than Sun Tzu. I'm pretty sure Machiavelli didn't write anything with that title.

I also LOVE the person who was like "what a weird thing to lie about!" and I'm like buddy you have no idea. The thing I DIDN'T mention because I was pretty sure it WAS too weird--but might have convinced them, because who would come up with this--is that in addition to classical military strategists, my dad also gave me the books on business strategy (which has a huge amount of overlap, though you generally don't actually try to kill people) written by Dilbert author Scott Adams. He's turned out to be an actual nut since then, so! No wonder my dad, who is also a nut, likes him so much.

Dad always loves to say, "Praise and reward for the uninvolved!" whenever something goes wrong in someone else's project at work.

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meoem-blog

no one likes to hear about the time i met joe biden in 2009. i asked him to make a statement in support of climate change legislation that was currently before congress (ACES) and he *laughed* at me.

joe biden laughed at me when i asked him to say anything supporting the fight against climate change.

then he asked me if i wanted a picture.

people who have not gotten off their butts and actually DONE activism have no idea how hard and draining it is. i found your post incredibly insightful. there will come a moment when you can enact meaningful change, and i hope your mind will be clear, your feet steady, and your heart brave, so you can shape the world for the better. and i hope you have many such opportunities. keep fighting the good fight.

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scientia-rex

Every single fucking time somebody is like “Joe Biden is an asshole!” as if I am a stan because I say he’s better than Trump, I’m like. Buddy. The only fucking reason we have to deal with this asshole is that you all JUST DIDN’T LIKE female candidates for SOME REASON you CAN’T PUT YOUR FINGER ON and also Bernie Sanders was Jewish.

I knew Biden was an asshole! He compulsively lies! He tells weird and repeated lies ripped off from Welsh coal miner histories! WE COULD HAVE HAD PRESIDENT WARREN!

So I 100% believe that asshole laughed at, you know, THE SINGLE BIGGEST ISSUE OF OUR TIME. He’s a TOOL! But he is, regrettably, the tool currently in our toolbox.

May we one day get the chance to kick him in the shins.

#yeah.....#american politics
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flightlesscrowkids
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bumblebeebats

I've been watching so much Leverage lately while in the grippe of a terrible cold and honestly it's been so soothing in this billionaire-bootlicking day and age to watch a show that is so unashamedly fond of just straight up psychologically torturing corrupt rich people. Like remember that episode where they locked a hedge fund manager in a hospital and made him think he had a fatal disease? Every single ep the client is like "I just want him to face legal justice for what he did to my poor daughter/grandpa/pony/etc :(" and the crew is like "Not only will we do that, we will also find out this bastard's hopes, their fears, their deepest darkest dreams and desires, and rip their whole life to shreds right in front of their eyes while they watch and weep in abject dispair. And then we will give you $2 million dollars cash." Fucking legends. Do Elon next

#yeah it's the ultimate fantasy#leverage
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astronicht

Okay I'm almost done with Fellowship, here's an incomplete list of shit I noticed and thought was buck fucking wild on my first ever read-thru: medieval edition.

  • In literally the second line of the book, Tolkien implies that Bilbo Baggins wrote a story which was preserved alongside the in-universe version of the Mabinogion (aka the best-known collection of Welsh myths; I promise this is batshit). This is because The Hobbit has been preserved, in Tolkien's AU version of our world, in a "selection of the Red Book of Westmarch" (Prologue, Concerning Hobbits). If you're a medievalist and you see something called "The Red Book of" or "The Black Book of" etc it's a Thing. In this case, a cheeky reference to the Red Book of Hergest (Llyfr Coch Hergest). There are a few Red Books, but only Hergest has stories).
  • not a medieval thing but i did not expect one common theory among hobbits for the death of Frodo's parents to be A RUMORED MURDER-SUICIDE.
  • At the beginning of the book a few hobbits report seeing a moving elm tree up on the moors, heading west (thru or past the Shire). I mentioned this in another post, but another rule: if you see an elm tree, that's a Girl Tree. In Norse creation myth, the first people were carved from driftwood by the gods. Their names were Askr (Ash, as in the tree), the first man, and Embla (debated, but likely elm tree), the first woman. A lot of ppl have I think guessed that that was an ent-wife, but like. Literally that was a GIRL. TREE.
  • Medieval thing: I used to read the runes on the covers of The Hobbit and LOTR for fun when I worked in a bookshop. There's a mix of Old Norse (viking) and Old English runes in use, but all the ones I've noticed so far are real and readable if you know runes.
  • Tom Bombadil makes perfect sense if you once spent months of your life researching the early medieval art of galdor, which was the use of poems or songs to do a form of word-magic, often incorporating gibberish. If you think maybe Tolkien did not base the entirety of Fellowship so far around learning and using galdor and thus the power of words and stories, that is fine I cannot force you. He did personally translate "galdor" in Beowulf as "spell" (spell, amusingly, used to mean "story"). And also he named an elf Galdor. Like he very much did name an elf Galdor.
  • Tom Bombadil in fact does galdor from the moment we meet him. He arrives and fights the evil galdor (song) of the willow tree ("old gray willow-man, he's a mighty singer"), which is singing the hobbits to sleep and possibly eating them, with a galdor (song) of his own. Then he wanders off still singing, incorporating gibberish. I think it was at this point that I started clawing my face.
  • THEN Tom Bombadil makes perfect sense if you've read the description of the scop's songs in Beowulf (Beowulf again, but hey, Tolkien did famously a. translate it b. write a fanfiction about it called Sellic Spell where he gave Beowulf an arguably homoerotic Best Friend). The scop (pronounched shop) is a poet who sings about deeds on earth, but also by profession must know how to sing the song or tell the story of how the cosmos itself came to be. The wise-singer who knows the deep lore of the early universe is a standard trope in Old English literature, not just Beowulf! Anyway Tom Bombadil takes everyone home and tells them THE ENTIRE STORY OF ALL THE AGES OF THE EARTH BACKWARDS UNTIL JUST BEFORE THE MOMENT OF CREATION, THE BIG BANG ITSELF and then Frodo Baggins falls asleep.
  • Tom Bombadil knows about plate tectonics
  • This is sort of a lie, Tom Bombadil describes the oceans of old being in a different place, which works as a standard visual of Old English creation, which being Christian followed vaguely Genesis lines, and vaguely Christian Genesis involves a lot of water. TOLKIEN knew about plate tectonics though.
  • Actually I just checked whether Tolkien knew about plate tectonics because I know the advent of plate tectonics theory took forever bc people HATED it and Alfred Wegener suffered for like 50 years. So! actually while Tolkien was writing LOTR, the scientific community was literally still not sure plate tectonics existed. Tom Bombadil knew tho.
  • Remember that next time you (a geologist) are forced to look at the Middle Earth map.
  • I'm not even done with Tom Bombadil but I'm stopping here tonight. Plate tectonics got me. There's a great early (but almost high!) medieval treatise on cosmology and also volcanoes and i wonder if tolkien read it. oh my god. i'm going to bed.
#astro my friend i love you so much#please come back to my spare room and tell me your thoughts in person for hours#lotr
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reblogged
carriecmoney
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cipheramnesia

Leverage episode where they have to bypass security and burn the Gävlebocken

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cipheramnesia

This would be part of a completely unrelated job in Sweden where burning the Gävlebocken only ends up being necessary by a hugely convoluted sequence of events, so that the entire episode everyone has to constantly remind Parker they are not here to burn the Gävlebocken, leave the Gävlebocken, do not be distracted by the Gävlebocken. Until we finally are rewarded with the delight on Parker's face as everyone on the team concedes that in fact we now must burn the Gävlebocken.

#god yeah....#leverage
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reblogged
miggylol
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raychleadele

“Why did you follow this person ? uwu”

I’ve been here for fourteen years, do you think I remember? I don’t know who any of these people are anymore. I don’t know why they’re on my dash. I allow them to stay because they haven’t pissed me off enough to unfollow them yet. “Why did you follow this person?” I’m not sure I ever did. They’re just part of my ecosystem now.

#i actually remember all of you and if you're here it mean you're probably here to stay because i am VERY liberal with the unfollow#so
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reblogged
miggylol
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voluptuarian

So I binged the entirety of How To Build a Sex Room last night and this one scene just cracked me up

The designer's at a western leather/tack store looking for supplies to make a rustic-style sex swing and turns to one of the store employees for advice, which initially goes about as amusingly as you would expect

So then she pulls up some pictures to give him an idea of what she needs

And he's Immediately like

The professional disgust, I'm living

#you simply just cannot!
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