happiest girl in the whole entire world

thinking about my favourite kind-hearted eldritch horror trapped in the body of my favourite traumatized goth girl

(+ purple variant)

yall the comedy wildlife photography results are coming out atm and

look

LOOK AT THIS LIL MAN

THANK YOU BRIAN MATTHEWS HOLY SHIT HES GOT SUCH A CASE OF THE MONDAYS

Demons and monsters that torture people because they feed on human suffering are so dumb. People are suffering everywhere my guy go literally any place and take a deep whiff.

Monster that feeds on suffering becomes a professional caretaker for people with chronic pain and terminal illnesses. They can't change the fact that these people are suffering, but they help a bit and in the meantime they're fat and happy off that Sweet Sweet ambient pain in the air.

Two towns over there's a demon lord trying to get their cult to abduct people for torture, but they keep getting stopped by heroes and the like, so they're barely scraping by. Meanwhile Belogarth the Registered PCA is chowing down on back pain, medication side effects and looming mortality for eight hours a day and has become the most powerful demon on earth without realizing it.

"But don't their clients feel weird knowing that they're feeding off their suffering?" No they think it's hilarious and they're real shits about it.

Finally a medical professional who believes that they are in pain. Because the fucker is actively chowing down on your agony. Not only am I going to get treated by them I'm going to invite all of my chronically ill friends to come as well.

Turns out if you treat the pain then the humans will bring you more humans who are suffering. It's like a restaurant where the waiter is so impressed by your ability to eat food they're giving you more on the house

They say things like "well, it's a real feast day for Belogarth today!" and "if my meds are held up at customs again I'm gonna put Belogarth in a food coma" and Belogarth is the one feeling weird about it

The Demon King dies and by tradition, the strongest demon is to take his place. All the big bad demon lords go to the demon seer or whatever (I dunno) to determine the strongest and are surprised that it's some rando they've never heard about whose kingdom isn't on any map and seems to consist of a single assisted living facility. They go to crown him the Demon King and are directed to a tired-looking man counting out pills and pouring juice who just looks at them and says, "we are WAY too understaffed for me to take on out-of-work hobbies right now."

Swordtember 2023 by Romain MAZEVET

“WHATS THIS? WHATS THIS?”

i wish i never made this post ill never get my dash back

Yes

It’s a tradition to bring this back, I’ve got it schedule for like the next eight years to post this on the first and last day of October

@matzahball

For a second I didn’t realize it meant “high” as in a stoner–I thought “High Geologist” was like a rank of geologist or something and he was insulted you would challenge him to naming stones

great poast every one👍

I have drawn him…. The High Geologist

Can’t believe he’s ace

He is now And here’s the photo evidence:

hey guys…https://twitter.com/MatthewLillard/status/1322648148364324864 so does this make it canon?

the high geologist has ascended

every time i see this post it gets…. better? but also weirder.

I always gotta reblog the High Geologist once in a while.

I love this too much.

Reblog to get to look at a cool rock from the High Geologist

So I was made to feel old today...

Two decades today

Damn, I’m old.

forget blorbo from my shows. look at blorbo from my house

i just made something beautiful

cause of death: tried to organize an activity with more than 2 friends at once past the age of 25

“Smoke & Arrows” - by me.

It is Thursday, my Critters. 💙

And - you’re damn right I gave Percy a Han Solo gun holster for The List so May the 4th be with You, too!

Happy birthday to me🤍

Behind the scenes footage of Xenk's fighting choreography

em_niwa

im so done with seeing articles about kids and screen time that doesnt mention parent behaviors even once. “kids are always on their phones” so are the parents! which the kids look to for how they should behave! ipad babies didn’t chose to only play on their ipads, thats what their parents gave them!

an anecdotal example: when i was a kid, all my parents would do in their minimal free time was watch tv and then they would be surprised when in my sister and i’s minimal free time we would also only watch tv/play video games. they scolded us for not reading books, but they never read books. they scolded us for not going outside but they never went outside.

“kids are always on their damn phones” my mom is in her 60s and opens up candy crush anytime she’s sitting — it isnt just the kids

I'm 41. When I get together with my mother I try to be present, engaged and involved. Meanwhile I have to beg her to fucking put her phone down and stop scrolling through Facebook.

I went out to lunch with my nephew, his wife, their baby, and my mom. All of them were on their phone (my nephew was letting the baby watch his phone) while I was trying to start conversations.

My neighbor's daughter came over so I could teach her to sew, I told her 'I'm fine with you checking your phone when you get a message but when we're working I'd like it if you focus on what we're doing so you can learn and don't hurt yourself.'

Know what she did? Told her friends she was going to be busy for the next hour and stayed off her phone. Even with one of her friends being an emotionally abusive dick head (He kept demanding she answer all his messages within seconds and was pulling crap like 'You're ignoring me because you don't like me anymore' NO DUDE. SHE WAS BUSY. That is 100% emotionally abusive!) she talked to me about it and I encouraged her to stand up for herself and warned her to watch out for that behavior. She ended up cutting him off a few weeks later and I'm proud of her.

The kids? THE KIDS ARE FINE. They'll learn to navigate this way better than current adults.

One time, the Queen of England decided to knight a loyal member of her country who happened to be Jewish. 

This man knew that knights were supposed to say something in Latin as the Queen knighted them, but didn’t remember the line, so he quickly said “ma nishtana halaila hazeh micol haleilot”

This, of course, confused the Queen, who turned to her advisor and asked “Why is this knight different from all other knights?”

There it is. The Passover Dad Joke. The Dad Joke Prime. The one all dads are born knowing, waiting for that first holy day when they can finally annoy their offspring with it. 

tetsuooooooooooo: “someone have mercy and explain this”

http://www.jewfaq.org/seder.htm

“The best-known quote from the Pesach Haggadah is, “why is this night different from all other nights?” This line is usually recited by the youngest person at the table (or at least, the youngest person capable of reciting it). It is meant to express the child’s confusion at the difference between a typical every-day or holiday meal and the unusual features of the seder.“

Me, the goy that knows just enough to get the joke and is unreasonably pleased by that:

had a fucking hilarious dream that tumblr replaced the "block" function with the far funnier "glock" function, which did the exact same thing except whenever anyone blocked you a random bullet hole, like a png of a bullet hole, would appear on your blog. discourse blogs were unreadable bc you'd go to the page and the sheer amount of bullet hole pngs stacked over the blogs obscured everything. I woke myself up laughing