the “bad guys” in hallmark movies end up always being the most respectful men ever.

because they will find out their girlfriend of 3 years (that they were about to propose to) went off to a random farm in minnesota, hours away from were the two of them built a life together, and she decided to just… stay there without even consulting him.

and then he decides to take a trip to make sure she’s okay, because this is generally alarming behavior, and then sees that she literally fell in love with her ex within one (1) week- and he wasn’t there, but you can TELL that they’ve made out a couple times.

and then she just strings him along for a few days, until fucking christmas eve, when she just breaks up with him and is like “i know we used to have the same values, but i’ve never loved you. mark makes me happier than you ever did. and you ONLY care about work, whereas i like christmas and fun, like a Good Person.”

and then, after finding out his entire relationship was a lie and he had his life turned upside down in a week and he got dumped on christmas, this guy’s just like “ok yeah that makes sense. i only wish you the best of happiness with mark. i hope you guys build a great life together in christmastreefarmville. thank you for everything.”

An AU where two Hallmark Christmas Bad Guys are both getting flights back to New York after being dumped by their respective Smalltown Blonde Girlfriends, and they bond over their shared experiences and fall in love in the departures lounge

@teashoesandhair your wish is my command :)

Probably, Levi should be more upset.

Probably he is still in shock. Right? He looks out of his taxi window (it's not technically a taxi, just some guy named Corey who offered him a ride to the airport, because Uber doesn't operate in fucking Tinyville, Bumfuck Middle-Of-Nowhere, Utah) and tracks water droplets racing each other down the glass, because of course it's raining, and his bad knee is killing him. 

Levi sniffs and rubs at his eyes and then pulls out his phone and books a ticket back to New York, wincing as four hundred and twenty-six dollars are deducted from his bank account. 

And, like, he should definitely be more upset.

He just got broken up with. He was engaged, for God's sake. A four-year relationship… over. Just like that. 

Corey says, "Ten minutes to the station." 

Merry Christmas. The gays win again.

After everything, the Jonin uniform does suits him. 

Thank you @vita-divata​ for this stunningsweetgorgeous commission of Obito and Kakashi from chapter 21 of Kamui Blues. You brought the scene to life in a way that was even better than in my head. I love it more than I can possibly convey. 

Don’t mind me, just obsessing over @butter–peanut‘s incredible Tobi/Sukea series again

nothing to see here, just two old frenemies meeting while disguised as complete strangers and maybe-possibly falling a little bit in love

:chomps ferally at this concept and shakes it like a pitbull:

A good thread on Lashon Hara (“evil tongue”) and how it threatens vulnerable communities in particular

here is the link to the thread on twitter, for those of you like me who find this ^ particular format a little difficult to read

the original post forgot to include the last post in the thread, so i’m including it here :-)

This. So much this.

These reasons are the same ones that I cite when I talk about why I believe how harmful call out culture is.

An environment where any mistake is a total and unforgivable mistake is an environment that is not safe. And if give the choice, will consume the most vulnerable among us first. We fight that by refusing to create the foundation upon which it grows.

I guess I need to go study Lashon Hara now.

I was thinking about how I think about and deal with people who have fucked with me in the past and its cool to see theres an actual cultural reason I might think like this.

…wait, do you mean that small communities don’t actually have to be hellpits of backstabbing avarice where every relationship is transactional and no one is ever allowed to be more than their worst moment?

BRB, re-evaluating my entire childhood.

The tips are pretty far down-thread, but well worth reading.

i dont understand half of the words here but god if this isn’t the funniest thing i’ve ever read

im pretty sure red and blue weren’t programmed but just sort of… mutated into cartridges

Red and blue are why QA teams were invented

for fuck’s sake they weren’t badly programmed. They were bleeding edge. It’s so easy to forget that but Red and Blue were literally pushing the limits of what they could fit on the cartridge. They used every trick in the book. In that way, the programming behind them is GENIUS. It’s frankly a lost art, in this era where hardware is insanely cheap and scalable, when you can just keep throwing more resources at the problem. But Red & Blue were when programmers had to get creative. Not currently using a piece of memory? Repurpose it, we can’t just leave it lying around. Only have a couple registers? Juggle them, keep careful track so we can restore them when we needed. Does this data need to be single purpose, or can we also use it for, say, a seed value? And all this WORKED. I guarantee you 99% of children playing this never saw a bug in casual play. MODERN games are buggier by a landslide. Remember when X&Y came out and there was an ENTIRE CITY you couldn’t save in because it’d DELETE YOUR SAVE? Imagine that happening in the days of Red&Blue. It couldn’t have. I can turn on my red cartridge TODAY and have it work. And the bugs that did exist, those edge cases they missed? They produce this behavior because the game REFUSES TO CRASH. Sure, you can make it crash if you try hard enough, but goddamn it’s resilient. It just plugs away with garbage data in memory for as long as possible. Y'all looking down from your 64-bit quad-core smartphones with 128GB SD cards like Red & Blue were programmed by amateurs. What, you also going to bitch that the Wright Brothers didn’t make a jet engine? These are artifacts from pioneers who wrote the goddamn book that others would use as gospel. Sincerely, a pissed off goddamn programmer.

In case anyone is wondering, Pokemon Red is 1 MB. Not one of the images. Not its Pokedex system. Not its map. The entire game is 1 MB.

also heres a collection of bumper stickers i plan on putting all on the same car

alignment chart

"companies that add they/them pronoun options are just panderi-"

shut up i am a nonbinary bratz doll shut up

Your name is worms?

technically it's WORMS but i respond to worms too

i buried a sword my f*ther made in my back yard YEARS ago and i live on a large plot of land and i can’t for the fucking life of me remember where, is anyone out here psychic enough to point me in the right direction, i’m getting exhausted and can only dig so many fucking holes in a day. yes i’m being serious, i want the fucking sword back

can’t use a metal detector bc junk land + lockdowns so i’m just going to dig holes all weekend until my momther starts screaming

only 46 more plots to dig

i was rly unclear so, yellow is places where there’s structures or whatever so it’s not possible for it to be there. red x is where i’ve already been :(

not pictured; mother yelling at me thru the window to fill in and re-seed the holes i’m making

i was going to take a break bc it’s hot and i’ve been playing manual-labour-battleship for going on 3 hours now, but someone just told me “there’s better lies to make up for notes xoxo” so now i ha—i Have to find this sword to deliver it personally up their ass

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA LADS WE’RE IN 34 COULD THIS BE IT AAAAAAAAAAAAA

MY FAMILY SWORD RETURNS TO ME

i love this shit i need more examples

op of the original tweet here there are SO many examples in the replies

Furries are the last hope for our wretched society and every furry is braver than any marine and they deserve respect

I trust every single one of these people with my fucking life

no google docs you don't understand this is a sexy, necessary grammar mistake

Damn

[Image description:

Cropped image of medieval-stylized printed text, focused on a line which reads: “This wenche thikke”

/end image description]

Thank you for adding this image description! Just wanted to clarify that it’s not stylised, but actual Middle English. The text is from The Canterbury Tales.

Okay, had to track it down. It’s from the Reeve’s Tale, and it’s a description of a 20yo young woman:

In modern English (had to look up “camuse”, so that’s as good as my source, but I know the rest)

The fact that Chaucer had “big butt” and “I will not lie” within two lines of each other is causing me disproportionate amusement. Also the fact that “this wenche thikke” works equally well in Middle English and in modern slang.

Slime mold was grown on an agar gel plate shaped like America and food sources were placed where America’s large cities are. 

The result? A possible look at how to best build public transportation. 

I just really like the idea of slime mold on a map of the US. It’s beautiful.

I’m—

holy shit

I have a raging science ladyboner right now.

I’d love if we could do it on a state-by-state basis.

That same slime mold once affirmed that the Tokyo subway is pretty well-designed.  

Using slime molds as a calculator.

Using slime molds as a calculator.

Using slime molds as a calculator.

Natural computation: it’s a thing, and it’s awesome. What is the universe but a really, really complicated computer?

I love this.

Does the slime take topology into account? because the US is not flat like a petri dish. 

You and 99 others awaken in a large room, all confused as to where you are, and how you got there. Soon people start to realize that everybody here is named Jonathan. Except for you.

Soon enough, the doors swung open and a robed man stepped out. The Jonathans all surrounded him, clamoring for answers.

“Calm down,” he said, raising his hands, and every Jonathan felt a sudden tranquility slip upon them. “I do suppose you deserve to know why you’re here. The lot of you, I regret to say, are changelings. Babes swapped into human cribs at birth. Sleeper agents for the goblin race.”

A murmur overtook the crowd. “Yes, yes,” the wizard said. “There are thousands of your kin, all across the world. But I had my spirit scour the land and bring every changeling named Jonathan to me. For you see,” he said, and reached into his robes, bringing out a medallion on a chain. “I’ve bound you all by your true name.” He grinned wickedly. “Hee-hee! Clever, isn’t it? The ritual’s costly, hardly worth a single goblin servant. But in one simple stroke I’ve bound ninety-nine of you! How common names are after all!”

“Um, excuse me,” said a voice from the back. “But I believe there’s been a mistake.”

The wizard glared. “Who - who was that? You - you’re all bound to my will! Who dares speak against me?” 

“Well, that’s just it,” said the man at the back. “I, um, I’m not a Jonathan. Mitchell’s my name.” He wrung his hands. “Not sure what I’m doing here.”

The wizard’s eyes narrowed, and he gestured in the air with one hand, trailing plumes of sulfur, and a horned figure, black as shadow, took shape and form. “Spirit! How’d you foul things up this time! What is this … Mitchell doing here?”

The spirit peered at Mitchell with glowing coal eyes. “Sorry,” it said eventually. “Made a mistake.”

“Made a -” The wizard’s face turned red. “This ain’t the first time you’ve screwed me over, you moron! I’ve had this whole spiel planned out, and now you’ve embarrassed me in front of my minions!”

“Um,” Mitchell said, “so if you don’t need me, I might as well go…”

“Oh, don’t be such a drama queen,” the spirit said huffily. “You had me running all over the land in a single night, snatching people out of their beds, I think I’m entitled to make a single mistake.”

“Ain’t like I asked for much!” the wizard said. “Just find every changeling named Jonathan, that’s all I wanted you to do. The most common name in the world, Jon! And you bring me back this-”

“He’s a changeling too!” the spirit said. “I got confused! And I don’t see what it matters anyway. You’ve got near a hundred of these goblin bastards, I don’t see what difference it makes, they’re all practically the same anyway…”

“Oh you don’t see why it matters?” the wizard said, his face very red. “I’ve got ninety-nine goblins, but a Mitch ain’t Jon!”

the found family trope in fiction is an inherently queer trope because it directly involves deconstructing the heteronormative notions of what family is and involves defining what family is for oneself rather than assuming that the people you are biologically related to are always going to support and care for you. Furthermore it inherently deconstructs and challenges amatonormativity because rather than focusing on a central romantic relationship as the genesis for a family and on forming a romantic partnership as what constitutes making a family, it is focused on close non-romantic bonds. In this essay I will

Where’s the essay OP

Well enough people mentioned it so…

The found family trope in fiction is an inherently queer trope because it directly involves deconstructing the heteronormative notions of what family is and involves defining family for oneself rather than assuming that the people you are biologically related to are always going to support and care for you. Furthermore it inherently deconstructs and challenges amatonormativity because rather than focusing on a central romantic relationship as the genesis for a family and on forming a romantic partnership as what constitutes making a family, it is focused on close non-romantic bonds. There is an overwhelming preoccupation with family as something immutable and constant because you’re related to them and challenging that is valuable for anyone who for whatever reason is no longer in touch or on good terms with their family. This is a discussion that extends beyond the context of challenging heteronormativity or amatonormativity, but that is the aspect of it that interests me and which I will be focussing on. For the purposes of this essay I will be using queer to encapsulate LGBTQIA+ identities due to the terms wide acceptance in academic circles in the context of queer theory, and because of the application of queer as a verb. This is not just about dismantling heteronormative assumptions and constructs, this is about queering the idea of what family can be and how it is formed.

The found family or family of choice trope, is described by TV Tropes as when characters “mourn the lack of family in their lives and decide to build [a family] of their own out of people they care for and who care for them in turn”. This is important, because the trope often occurs because of stressful or unpleasant family circumstances for one or more of the characters in question, though it is not necessary that this be the case. Because of this, the found family need not be as homogenous and monolithic as a family related to each other, and as such is a great exemplification of solidarity– a very important part of what makes the queer community a singular community rather than many fragmented ones. Disparate members of the community may not face the same challenges, oppression, or stigma, but that does not mean they cannot find common ground and support each other through those various tribulations. Likewise, the found family need not be unified by the same background, the same lived experiences, or even the same reasons for seeking a found family. It is the decision and dedication to loving and supporting one another, to coming together on the common ground they do have and expressing solidarity for that they do not. Beyond it’s values, the trope also serves a valuable role for queer viewers in that it provides a reassuring and valuable alternative to queer folks who are not accepted by their biological families. When as story tells you that a family can be whatever you choose, that the bonds between them are ones of choice rather than biological or legal factors outside their control, that is greatly reassuring to people who need to find a new support structure outside the one they were raised with. At its core the found family is not just representative of quee values, it unseats traditional notions about family structures and challenges heteronormativity– as does any familial unit that does not fall into the narrow confines of a monogamous, straight cis couple and their biological children to varying degrees. It removes the typical vision of a straight couple at the core of a family, the parental homestead as a place always there to come home to, and replaces it with a chosen group to form a trusted and loving community.

The archetypal family unit is deeply tied to heteronormativity as it is centred around a straight marriage as the immutable core of a family, but even more so it is tied to amatonormativity. Amatonormativity is a term originated by Elizabeth Brake to, in her words, “describe the widespread assumption that everyone is better off in an exclusive, romantic, long-term coupled relationship, and that everyone is seeking such a relationship”. Again, it is a concept that has application in a number of contexts, but it is chiefly interesting to me in the context of aromantic identities because that is where my personal experience lies, thought it should be noted that there is a large overlap in the ways it harms aromantic and polyamorous people. There is a widespread conception that settling down and starting a family is a universal goal and moreover, is accomplished in a universal way. Amatonormativity manifests itself in this assumption, and unlike heteronormativity, it is not exclusive to that idea of the archetypal family. While it is mainly concerned with the (monogamous) romantic relationship aspect of “settling down”, it often goes hand in hand with the assumption that settling down means children as well, because what else would a family consist of? What else are you going to do make meaning in your life? This brings us back to found family. Rather than prioritizing a romantic relationship as the most important part of a family– if not one’s life– it prioritizes non-romantic bonds. This is not to say that there cannot be romantic relationships as a part of a found family, but they are not the focal point. By challenging just what a family is, the found family challenges the idea of settling down as the only way to have close supportive bonds, not to mention that those bonds must originate with a romantic relationship. Moreover, since the trope more often occurs among characters who are earlier in life than people who would be getting married and having children, the trope rejects the idea that family and children are the only way to make meaning. A found family is no less important for its early formation, but it is no longer the goal of life but rather a support structure that is a part of a larger whole of a life. It directly opposes the amatonormative notion that romantic love is the most important part of anyone’s life, and leaves room for varying degrees of closeness between the members of said found family, allowing for those who do not prioritize or do not experience romantic attraction to still find a way to make family should they choose.

Found family is a trope that keeps occuring and stays present because it is relatable to a great number of people in a great number of situations. It has always and will always have applications outside of the context of the queer community and aromantic circles, but those lenses hold a lot of value for consideration.

I wonder what Christian meme groups are like. I mean some Christians have the biggest victim complexes in the world and if you couple that with first person perspective memes, you’d probably get memes like:

Oh thank fuck it is my time to shine

These are all from a Christian meme group that I joined for some reason but fell in love with

I’ve been consuming Christian memes since I was about fourteen and they’re all like this. Also:

May I add:

ok i spent hours looking through christian discord servers for these

Some personal favorites I’ve encountered

I’m not sure if any of these count as blasphemy exactly but happy sunday yall.

This goes so well with what my mother says.

‘God has to have a sense of humor or else he wouldn’t have created us.”

Listen I know I’m Jewish but this shit is too fucking funny for me not to reblog

It’s Sunday y'all

I may be an atheist but y'all I lost it

D E A D

MUST. ADD. TO. LIST. FROM. R/DANKCHRISTIANMEMES

My time has come

my sense of humor: getting birthday cards with the wildly incorrect age on it for people

I see this and raise you: getting cards for a wildly different occasion and customizing them to fit the holiday you need

throwback to the time my partner put in his 2 week notice with a birthday card for a 2 year old