The Almost Kiss
Drabble written for the Mass Effect Writer Circle. I’m a bit tipsy and did not edit, so please be kind.
Prompted by @scientistsalarian, “I see the way you look at me when you think I’m not looking.”
Shepard was down in the cargo bay. The punching bag she was using was barely swaying that she was hitting it again, a swift right hook followed by a powerful roundhouse kick. She had found a rhythm that helped her not think. She was tired of thinking. She wanted to never think again. Unfortunately for her, her brain never gave her any respite. Perhaps that was one of the reasons she was so good at compartmentalizing. Despite her efforts, even though she was focused on her current victim, her mind was already preparing for the next mission, and yet another part was thinking about the bigger picture. The only topic she was forbidding herself to broach was Kaidan Alenko.
It seemed the universe wanted to test her when the subject of her mental avoidance suddenly stepped off the elevator. Shepard pretended she hadn’t seen him and continued her assaults on the punching bag, but she was all too aware of his presence. Her biotics felt even closer to the surface than they usually did. She suspected it was a reaction to his own.
She could feel the sweat trailing down her back from her exertions, and part of her wondered what he was seeing when he looked at her. She couldn’t pretend she didn’t care, she knew she did. She could feel his gaze on her, a burning sensation not at all disagreeable. She still acted like she didn’t know he was there even though she was getting tired, having been at it for a good while now.
She had her back to him when she suddenly stopped. She was tired of pretending. She stood motionless, letting the punching bag sway gently back and forth until it stopped, letting her breathing slow down, knowing he was still right there. She was still trying to not think, all the while knowing that not thinking, when it came to Kaidan, was a dangerous path to take.
Suddenly, she started when his hand stilled the punching bag. She hadn’t realized he had gotten this close. She looked up into his eyes. “Something you want, Alenko?”
“Figured you could use some help, Shepard,” he said, the corner of his lips barely lifting. He made to hold the punching bag for her.
She hesitated. She was exhausted, but she didn’t want to back down in front of him, so she called on her inner reserves and started hitting again. It was different now that he was holding the punching bag still. She couldn’t pretend his eyes weren’t on her. She kept on her eyes resolutely fixed on the bag, but her breathing was getting erratic and she wasn’t moving as fast as she had been before. She was still hitting just as hard, though. It was a matter of pride.
At one point, Shepard made the mistake of looking into his honey-colored eyes, and she stopped dead in her tracks.
“Tired of the target not hitting back?” he asked when he realized she wasn’t going to attack again.
She chuckled. “Is that a challenge, Alenko?”
He smirked. “I wouldn’t dream of challenging the great Commander Shepard.”
“Bull. It’s written all over your face,” she laughed. Boy, did it feel good to laugh with him.
“Is that all that’s written on my face?” he asked unexpectedly, his smokey voice twisting her insides every which way.
She bit her lower lip hard, unsure how to answer. He let go of the punching bag and stepped even closer to her, invading her private space. She looked up into his eyes.
“I see the way you look at me when you think I’m not looking,” he whispered, his cool breath tickling her face.
Her pulse raced; her heart beat erratically. The way he was leaning into her, she was sure he was going to kiss her. And she knew she was going to kiss back. She wanted to kiss back.
“Commander, we’re five minutes from Ontarom.”
Joker’s voice reverberated in her dream, and Shepard woke up, sweating as if she had truly been working out.
“I’ll be right there,” she mumbled, sitting up on her bed.
Damned pilot. Interrupting at such a crucial moment.
