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Would you please not go

@have-a-heart-kaneki / have-a-heart-kaneki.tumblr.com

Multifandom animanga blog
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Anonymous asked:

I’m a minor, and I’m going to be for a couple more years. I know some people don’t really like interacting with minors as much, but I want to make fandom friends. I haven’t told anyone but I can’t meet up with people or buy as much merch, and I don’t want to wait to be an adult to participate in fandom. Do I just not tell anybody or should I make friends who don’t care?

I grew up in the generation where every adult in our lives made it excessively clear that revealing the fact that we were young online was dangerous behaviour. I'm regularly horrified to see teenagers post their ages where anyone can see them. My initial, gut reaction to this question is dear god don't tell anyone you're a minor.

I'll leave the actual decision around whether to reveal your age up to you, but I recommend talking to your parents or another trusted adult before you do. If you're not comfortable doing that, then please read up on some privacy tips for teens to help you stay safe online.

You don't need to meet people in order to participate in fandom. You don't need to buy anything to participate in fandom. All that you have to do is join the online community of people who are nerding out, squeeing, creating, celebrating, and talking about your favourite characters and stories.

This might mean that you're a silent lurker, looking at art and reading fic without commenting or reblogging at all. It might mean that you become a fanartist or a fic writer or a podficcer or fanvidder or a cosplayer or a fan crafter or any of the myriad other types of creators that exist in fan spaces.

It will probably also mean that you'll be somewhere on the spectrum between the two, and that your involvement will change in type and degree as you move from one fandom to another. There are some fandoms where I'm a lurker, some where I'm a commenter/reblogger, some where I'm a writer or an artist.

Try lurking in a community first and picking up the vibe. What are the people like here? What are the rules? Do these people have the kind of community I want to be more active in? You can always reveal your age later if you feel like you want to.

People are online are going to assume you're an adult until you tell them you're not. Lurking will also give you a chance to see if you're comfortable with the kinds of conversations those communities are having. If you're not, then it's okay to back out. You can come back some other time if you want to give it another go. In the meantime, there's always another group of fans for you to meet.

Take care of yourself and stay safe. ❤

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ancano

If you want to be more involved in fandom, but worry about interacting with adults, I suggest looking around tumblr or other social media and seeing if there are any discord servers in your fandom specifically for minors (I've seen some for a few of my fandoms).

Discord is a great way to interact with other fans, and you can even just be a lurker in one too if you want to judge the general vibe of other fandom members.

As always, be careful and stay safe. Being a minor on the internet is hard, but that doesn't mean you can't have fun while you're here <3

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pigcatapult

Honestly my kneejerk reaction to alleged “minor-only” spaces online is suspicion, because people can lie about their age on the internet in either direction. Having friendships with older people who model appropriate boundaries is a good way to spot when someone isn’t acting right.

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kohakuhoshi

Minors need to be able to recognize APPROPRIATE interactions with adults vs being terrified of adults period. Having trusted adults around is a good thing, and be careful what you share with strangers. 

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bizarrolord

In short, if any adult makes you feel suspicious or uncomfortable, back out of the situation ASAP.

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caturday
Image

how do cats even work

Cats:

  • A cat can jump up to five times its own height in a single bound.
  • The little tufts of hair in a cat’s ear that help keep out dirt direct sounds into the ear, and insulate the ears are called “ear furnishings.”
  • The ability of a cat to find its way home is called “psi-traveling.” Experts think cats either use the angle of the sunlight to find their way or that cats have magnetized cells in their brains that act as compasses.
  • One reason that kittens sleep so much is because a growth hormone is released only during sleep.
  • A cat has 230 bones in its body. A human has 206. A cat has no collarbone, so it can fit through any opening the size of its head.
  • A cat’s nose pad is ridged with a unique pattern, just like the fingerprint of a human.
  • If they have ample water, cats can tolerate temperatures up to 133 °F.
  • A cat’s heart beats nearly twice as fast as a human heart, at 110 to 140 beats a minute.
  •  Cats don’t have sweat glands over their bodies like humans do. Instead, they sweat only through their paws.
  • The claws on the cat’s back paws aren’t as sharp as the claws on the front paws because the claws in the back don’t retract and, consequently, become worn.
  • Cats make about 100 different sounds. Dogs make only about 10.
  • Researchers are unsure exactly how a cat purrs. Most veterinarians believe that a cat purrs by vibrating vocal folds deep in the throat. To do this, a muscle in the larynx opens and closes the air passage about 25 times per second.
  • A cat almost never meows at another cat, mostly just humans. Cats typically will spit, purr, and hiss at other cats.
  • A cat’s back is extremely flexible because it has up to 53 loosely fitting vertebrae. Humans only have 34.
  • Some cats have survived falls of over 65 feet (20 meters), due largely to their “righting reflex.” The eyes and balance organs in the inner ear tell it where it is in space so the cat can land on its feet. Even cats without a tail have this ability.
  • A cat can travel at a top speed of approximately 31 mph (49 km) over a short distance.
  • A cat’s hearing is better than a dog’s. And a cat can hear high-frequency sounds up to two octaves higher than a human.
  • A cat’s brain is biologically more similar to a human brain than it is to a dog’s. Both humans and cats have identical regions in their brains that are responsible for emotions.

And that’s how cats work.

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darneildtpg

I learned more about cats in this post than I did in my freshamn biology class in college

Gods perfect murder machines but they weigh 8lbs

Don’t tell me that if you find a cardboard box large enough to fit you that you don’t have an urge to crawl inside it, that some part of your brain doesn’t go “ooh! fort!” before you tell yourself that it’s better to not have a large box take up space. Cats just don’t have inhibitions about it.

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hedwig-dordt

“cats don’t have inhibitions about it” is at least 5% of how cats work

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crafty-butch

conspiracy theory: people on other social media sites keep saying tumblr is dead so they can mine us for resources without anyone else going to the source

half the comments on any given tumblr screenshot post are like "wow I miss tumblr, shame it died" and the screenshot is from, like, last tuesday

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spartanlocke

Inspired

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The q slur discourse is just... so astounding to me.

It should be easy enough to say “this word is a slur, it means something many lgbt people don’t want to associate with. If you want to reclaim it for yourself, that’s great, but please don’t use it for others.” And be done with it.

But people have clung onto the word as their whole identity, and feel as if the acknowledgment of the word as a slur is a personal attack.

They also find it to be a personal attack when others say they don’t want to be referred to as the q slur.

It’s so blatantly clear that they aren’t fighting to reclaim the word for themselves. They’re fighting to use it for everybody. And they get mad when people push back.

If you can’t understand why many lgbt people don’t want to be referred to as weird, strange, odd, etc., you’re incredibly dense.

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For anyone who is unclear on the matter or needs to hear this: fictional characters, while awesome, are literally not real. They do not exist and therefore are not worth sending death threats and suicide bait to real people over. There are 0 exceptions to this rule.

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froody

I’ve seen this new trend of girls posting videos like “I hate my boyfriend for bringing all of his stupid boy things into our apartment when we moved in together 🙄” and then pictures of his hot wheels collection or a Halloween skeleton or an extremely cool pirate flag. Give him to me you do not deserve him.

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throwbackjoe

Buckle up, folks. I’ve got a lot to say on this…

I’m not one of those guys who subscribes to the “Man Cave” idea. That theory that once you’re in a relationship, you’re required to forfeit 99% of your own home and be grateful to have one room in which you can be yourself and have your own possessions on display. I think if you’re in a relationship, you have a right to make your home reflect your personality and interests as much your partner does. I’ve run into a couple of instances where a woman thinking a man has no right to his own possessions has not gone over so well and it was hysterical.

I once knew a guy who worked in the telemarketing department of a company I worked at. One Friday night after work, he told me about how he ended up breaking up with his girlfriend.

This guy was like me, very clean and orderly and liked things a certain way but he wasn’t volatile about it or anything. He and his girlfriend decide to have a weekend sleepover at his house, a trial run in his mind for moving in together. She showed up and the red flags sprang up immediately. “Where’s your bag?” he asks. “For a weekend? I don’t need one.” she says. His mind reels. “So you’re not gonna change clothes…or shower…or brush your teeth…?” “No. Why would I do that in just a couple of days?” He tries to be okay about it but then she starts “cooking” and the kitchen looks like a war zone. Then there’s the fact that her B.O. seems to get stronger by the hour.

The last straw comes towards the end of the weekend when she walks around his place, eyes his Elvis Presley memorabilia collection and says “If I lived here, all this Elvis shit would get set out for trash, I’m not wasting space on all that.” When it finally comes time for her to go back home, she says “This was fun! Can’t wait to do it again.” “Yeah, about that…” and he dumped her in his own driveway.

He said if he had to choose between hygiene and an Elvis collection he’s built for years and her, he’s gonna be happier being single, cleaner and having his collectibles around than he would be with her.

Another instance happened when I had a garage sale and one of the things I was selling was a talking football player action figure from the 90s that someone had bought me under the presumption that because I was boy, I was into sports (I was not). The action figure was brand new in the box because that was how little I cared about playing with it despite my mother’s best attempts. A woman shows up, sees the action figure and loses her shit.

“Oh God, I am so sick of seeing these! My husband has the whole set and all I want to do is throw them in the trash!” A guy at the sale overhears this and says “Well, I’m sure your husband has a list of things that he’d like to get rid of that you’re partial to but he doesn’t say anything because that’s the give and take of being in a relationship” She blows him off and says “I should be the one to decide what goes in the house and what he can buy, THAT is how marriage works for ME.” The guy changes his argument. “Maybe on your husband’s list of shit that needs to go, you should be at the top of the list…” Everyone else at the garage sale (including me) was now watching silently and wondering when the throw down would happen…

“What did you say?”, she asks him a bit taken back. “I said if I was him, I wouldn’t take that shit that somehow being married to you means forfeiture of my belongings and personality and substituting it all for your bullshit. I’d sooner throw you out than my action figures.” After picking her jaw up off my driveway, the woman hurumphs and storms back to her car. I high-five the guy for making an excellent point after she leaves.

I have a lot of collectibles myself and am currently in the creative habit of going through my childhood Power Rangers and Pokémon toys and putting the ones I absolutely want to keep in shadow boxes and hanging them on the wall as conversation pieces and selling the rest.

I have Funko Pops. I have lunchboxes. I have special edition magazines and comic books in floater frames on the wall. I have more books than I have time to count or read. I have tub after tub of Halloween and Christmas decorations because that’s my favorite time of year. I would never throw all of this stuff away because I’ve purged plenty already and kept what I wanted to keep. It’s all a reflection of my personality and my story. If someone came into my life and said our life together would mean giving all of this up and doing what he wanted, I would consider that a toxic situation and I would end it before I got in too deep.

Men, gay or straight, can find themselves in toxic, abusive relationships, this is not a phenomenon only experienced by women. It just seems that way because men, especially straight men, rarely speak up about it and mistakenly settle on what they assume is some unchangable default result of being in a relationship. It’s not.

I would never move in with someone and tell them to throw everything out that has been a part of them or spoken to who they are in order to make room for me. I am all about organizing and making a space feel cozy, functional and fun and would go out of my way to make sure we both had space for our things and our personalities and stories. One does not have to overshadow or overpower the other in order to make a relationship between two people work.

So, the next time someone says “It’s me or the Star Wars action figures on that one shelf that aren’t bothering anyone but I hate that that shelf isn’t all about me anyway” say “May The Force not hit you in the ass on the way out” as you show them the door.

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rudjedet

My dad broke up with the girlfriend he had when he was 20ish because she said "the motorcycle goes or I go". And not because she genuinely didn't like motorcycles, no! Because a friend of hers told her bf to get rid of the bike or lose her, and that guy choose the girl. Dad's ex saw it as a power play she could pull on my dad as well. He turned her out on the spot.

I used to think guys just didn’t have any interests?? Or hobbies?? Because of all those images of homes where the wife designs everything and there’s basically no touch of the husband there anywhere, and how it was implied that that’s “normal”.

I just reblogged this but then I thought and I just have to make this addition?

Yeah, that last comment, that's how fucked up our society has gotten, because men have to conceal or hide or at best get ONE room to put their stuff in, and even then it's treated as terrible and regressive and should not be allowed. The 'Man Cave' aka the one space in a person's house where they're allowed to express themselves and their hobbies and it's treated as a terrible thing because he's 'excluding' his wife from it, while the things that are in there are NOT ALLOWED ANYWHERE ELSE.

We have allowed people to brainwash us into two dumb ideas, one that men are expected to give up everything that they love for their significant others, and the second that it's a burden on women that they have to determine how everything is in the household. Because that is also how it is in so many cases.

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something about the wave of Alfred Molina thirst makes me think of that "Everyone is Beautiful and No One is Horny" essay. shan't elaborate right now but give me a moment.

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pcklesthings

I'm sorry, the what essay?

so glad you asked

it was this article, "We All Simp for Alfred Molina" by Chingy Nea, that made me think of it, particularly this paragraph that one assumes the Nea must have composed whilst drooling like a cartoon wolf:

But gravity isn’t all Molina brings to the role [of Doc Ock]; he carries with him a stunning degree of raw sexual magnetism. As a larger man, Molina really carries his massive appendages, moves deliberately with a menacing cool and delivers one-liners in a sultry arch tone. The physicality of the role also plays into it with Octavius in an open trench coat with his titties out and with a bit of his paunch hanging over the metal tentacle corset around his waist, letting us really take in the beauty of his body.

it's Nea's appreciation for Molina's physicality, specifically the fond attention drawn to his visible paunch, that made me think of R.S. Benedict's essay "Everyone Is Beautiful and No One Is Horny." it's a good read but also a long one, so I'll summarize: Benedict posits that current standards of American attractiveness stem from post-9/11 anxiety - "When a nation feels threatened, it gets swole," she writes - and has created a national mentality of bodies as commodities to be honed to perfection without indulging in any of the pleasure a body can bring, a vessel disjointed from any sense of self and meant only to be looked at with awe.

she opens particularly by noting the very particular brand of sexless-ness that pervades mainstream media, leading to action heroes whose beautiful faces and implausibly sculpted muscles are attractive in theory but also seem to exist in a world apart from anything like genuine sensuality. their bodies are inhuman in their perfection, and this comes at the cost of doing anything as human as fucking. to quote:

In the films of the Eighties and Nineties, leading actors were good looking, yes, but still human. Kurt Russel’s Snake Plissken was a hunk, but in shirtless scenes his abs have no definition. Bruce Willis was handsome, but he’s more muscular now than he was in the Nineties, when he was routinely branded a bona fide sex symbol. And when Isabella Rosselini strips in Blue Velvet, her skin is pale and her body is soft. She looks vulnerable and real.

Benedict mostly speculates about the neutered nature of DC and Marvel's movie characters, but they're hardly the only blockbusters falling into this trend. Alison Wilmore's "Why Doesn't The Rock Get to Make Out More Onscreen?" calls attention to this with a particular focus on Disney's new Jungle Cruise movie, describing Dwayne Johnson and Emily Blunt's roles as "characters who are to Humphrey Bogart and Katharine Hepburn in The African Queen as Funko Pops are to people," with their inevitable kiss playing out "as though they’re dolls whose heads are being smashed together by a child enacting a rudimentary idea of passion."

similarly to Benedict's point, Wilmore notes that "There’s a striking divide between the body that Johnson is so famous for and the characters who are supposed to inhabit it... his characters rarely if ever seem to take pleasure in this physicality beyond its capacity to intimidate and serve as a spectacle."

and by now you're probably saying okay Makenzie that's swell, but what the fuck does this have to do with people thirsting over Alfred Molina? well, look at him.

take in the tits and paunch Nea loves so much, and compare Molina's body with the kind that have dominated the biggest movies of the last decade or so, since the MCU set the tone for the future of the superhero genre. Quoth Benedict again:

Actors are more physically perfect than ever: impossibly lean, shockingly muscular, with magnificently coiffed hair, high cheekbones, impeccable surgical enhancements, and flawless skin, all displayed in form-fitting superhero costumes with the obligatory shirtless scene thrown in to show off shredded abs and rippling pecs. And this isn’t just the lead and the love interest: supporting characters look this way too, and even villains (frequently clad in monstrous makeup) are still played by conventionally attractive performers. Even background extras are good-looking, or at least inoffensively bland.

Molina's Doc Ock isn't bland; he has character in the form of features that are, increasingly, written off as too ugly or undesirable for film. I think the reason people may be reacting so strongly to him nearly two decades after the movie's release is that a pretty-normal looking body has now become a spectacle unto itself, by virtue of being so normal.

the current crop of superhero stars are exercised, waxed, dieted, dehydrated, and quite probably steroided into something the average person could never achieve on their own, a body that's fun to look at but is ultimately alien to anything most people will ever experience. whereas what we're looking at with Alfred Molina's Doc Ock is something like a body that many people actually have, a body that many people have known and loved, a body that, frankly, many people have had sex with - certainly more than have ever had sex with, say, Chris Evans' Steve Rogers all hairless and shiny fresh out of getting shot up with super soldier serum.

it's a sexy body because it's a palpably human body, in a genre that increasingly shuns exactly that.

plus, you know, those are just some nice tits.

Both of these articles are worth a read, but this post sums them both up pretty nicely.

got my first positive review lads :)

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teaboot

Did anyone else just like. Never understand the whole, "it says gullible on the ceiling" thing?

Like. Someone told me that in middle school and I looked up and said "no they didn't" and somehow that meant I "fell for it"?

I still don't understand. You told me something. I checked to see if it was true. Ergo, I am a fool.

That's not a prank, it's not a joke, it's a lie? Not even a funny lie? It isn't true?

It's been over ten years. I pay taxes now. I still don't get it

I mean.

"I wrote "perplexed" inside my backpack."

"Oh, weird. Why?"

"BRO I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU FELL FOR IT"

????????????????

It’s more shameful to have to ask a question, or verify that something is true, in our culture than to develop your opinions without evidence.

*gestures at the world around us in general*

aw i like this joke. you are being gullible when you look up; you are acting out the definition of the word. thats why its clever. it's fun with english!!!

also, this is a middle school joke. middle schoolers aren't going to come up with terribly clever scathingly interesting pranks, guys. because they're 12. humor's not super sophisticated at that age.

Nah, being gullible would be if you didn’t bother to verify it. Checking to see if something’s true is the opposite of gullible.

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johnmeowston

anybody wanna get gay married in this fit 😳😳😳

Red is such a good color for these, full of energy and strength!

Just what I was thinking! Red also means kindness and warmth :)

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cleverclove

Why, it’s backed up by science! Red also represents strong desire and love, perfect for a wedding :D this is gonna be bloody spectacular!!!

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moringmark
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runcibility

I liked this post, scrolled for like another minute before I went “SHIT FUCK SHIT” and scrolled back to reblog it

AJDHNFNCKWFKSNC,JAKD;FA ALWAYS REBLOG

Be a hero y'all! Just liking a post doesn’t help creators nearly as much as a reblog

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stop everything, this is bitty doing research for his thesis

there’s more lmao, unhinged bitty energy

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kirain

I showed this tiktok to my grandma to make her laugh, but now she’s all excited and actually wants to make a chocolate potato cake. We’re gonna do it.

I’ll keep everyone posted.

It’s happening, folks!

Looks good, but we’re not done yet!

Our sweet, sweet child needs to cool before we add the finishing touches!

My creation is complete!

After dinner, we’ll give it a taste test!

I wonder how it’ll taste.

Oh…

My…

God.

It’s incredible!

This stupid cake, made with potatoes … is delicious! It’s so sweet, moist, and decadent, just like a brownie! And I don’t even like chocolate or potatoes!

The recipe from the tiktok was pretty much impossible to find. I looked high and low, but everyone posted recipes that I KNOW he didn’t use because the ingredients and methods were different. After some searching, my grandma and I came up with our own recipe.

For the Cake:

1 cup mashed potato

2 cups sour cream

1 ¾ cup flour

1 ¾ cup sugar

¾ cup unsweetened cocoa powder

½ cup softened butter

2 eggs

1 ½ tsp baking soda

1 tsp vanilla

Pinch of salt

For the Drizzle:

4 oz semi-sweet chocolate

½ cup sugar

3 tbsp corn syrup

2 tbsp water

A lot of recipes called for a mixer or a processor, but my grandma and I wanted to make an every-man kind of recipe, since we know not everyone has those things. Plus they’re heavy and a pain to clean anyway, so bowls it is!

Instructions:

1. Peel and boil the potato, then mash it. Set aside to cool. Go to the bathroom, do your homework, then come back. That should be enough time.

2. Set oven to 350°F.

3. Cream butter. This means putting the sugar and butter into a bowl and mashing it together with a fork until it’s thoroughly mixed.

3. Put everything else in the same bowl, including the mashed potato. Mix and stir well. Work those muscles!

4. Grease a pan (doesn’t matter what kind you use) and spatula batter into pan. Even out if necessary.

5. Bake in oven for 40 minutes.

6. Test cake with pick. If nothing sticks, it’s finished. If batter does stick to pick, let it bake a bit longer but make sure it doesn’t burn. Remove and set aside to cool.

For the Drizzle:

1. Cut chocolate into tiny squares.

2. In a small pot, mix sugar, corn syrup, and water.

3. On medium heat, wait for mixture to sizzle and stir it. Do NOT let it boil.

4. Remove from element and add chocolate.

5. Wait for squares to melt, then mix.

6. Drizzle or pour over cake.

Enjoy!

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ironwoman359

I’m so glad there’s a recipe now, I really want to try this!

Hey here is a thing that happened. We went for a simple ganache for the glaze. Heated 1 cup of cream till hot then poured over 1 cup of semisweet and 1 cup of milk chocolate chips. Whisk untill melted and pour over your chocolate mash potato cake

Found the original recipe!  (Apparently it was listed as a caramel potato cake in the original recipe book???  Anyway, now there’s two CPC recipes!)

Chocolate Potato Cake

½ cup butter 1 cup sugar 2 eggs ½ cup milk ½ cup hot riced potatoes [just pure potato, mashed, no milk or butter or pepper or salt or whatever, just pure mashed potato] 1 cup flour 2 tsp baking powder ½ tsp cinnamon ½ tsp clove ½ tsp nutmeg ½ cup grated chocolate ½ cup chopped nut meats [optional, never ever feel pressured to add nuts to your chocolate cake, our guy here didn’t!]

Just… put everything into the mixing bowl in that order, with lots of mixing in between each addition.

Into a greased and/or lined tin, and then into a moderate oven for 55 minutes (or until cooked).

Frosting

2 Tbs butter 1 cup sugar ¼ cup milk 1 square unsweetened chocolate ½ tsp vanilla [also optional, since again, not mentioned by our maker here!]

Boil, but be careful it doesn’t burn. …Basically?  Stir constantly!  (also, apparently the vanilla only gets added after the mix is taken off the heat…)

He did a long-form!  He explained the steps!

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controversial soapbox here, but “anti fujoshi” is just the progressive way of gatekeeping women from liking the same stuff as men and an excuse to be as misogynistic as you please without getting any clout for it lmao

I’m not a fujoshi by any means, like, I seriously can’t stomach m/m ships for personal trauma related reasons (and even then, fujoshi means you’re a WOMAN and I am not one of those), but fujoshi are just women who like the same stuff as men and that enrages men to no end so they gotta make this whole bs movement about how women being attracted to men is actually fetishizing and illegal or w/e argument they’re using at the moment.

Again, I’ve said this before, but if someone’s gonna say “fujoshi are homophobic women squealing about sin and gawking at real life gay men” then like, just go ahead and leave because you have no real argument as to why all women can’t read about gay relationships in any form and enjoy them. If you don’t like women gawking at real gay men, then talk about that and how you don’t like that particular woman. Because I guarantee that most self proclaimed fujoshi aren’t like that–not to mention I haven’t seen “omg i’m SINNING” about m/m ships in literal years. Which isn’t to say that it doesn’t happen anymore, but it’s not the norm like you claim it is. Your argument needs to update to the times in order to be, you know, valid. 

But the reality is you simply don’t have a valid argument, that’s why you refuse to update your argument to say why all women can’t read mlm media. You simply hate sharing spaces with women and want to get away with it (unless it is convenient to you, cuz most of your favorite m/m anime are made by self proclaimed fujoshi). Why don’t you go back to saying “ew cooties women can’t like the stuff I like!! women just do it cuz they’re lustful sinful sexual nasties, they can’t like things for similar reasons that I like them!!”? What’s wrong with that argument? Oh yeah that’s not socially acceptable. You’re too scared of being the bad guy so you gotta pain this whole fake world where you are actually totally right this time!!

You just hate women and you hate sharing spaces with them–then they created their own space away from you and your misogynistic friends and but you couldn’t have that cuz a woman doing her own thing is equally as insulting to you because women are inherently stupid and need your guidance. 

Maybe when u guys can get through a single argument about why “fujoshi are just homophobic women” without being blatantly strawman misogynistic, I’ll be more inclined to listen to your “”arguments””.

Hey uhhh I’m not trying to get caught up in discourse about who’s allowed to ship what, so just to be clear I’m not taking any stance on this and am not necessarily opposed to any of your points, but if you “can’t stomach m/m ships” there’s a word for that. It’s called homophobia. And if it’s trauma related, that’s a thing to work through. Because regardless of the reasoning, if gay male relationships are making you that uncomfortable, it’s going to be reflected in your behavior, whether you realize it or not, and that’s the point at which it starts to harm people.

I’m not gonna explain myself to you, but there’s a huge difference between shipping and people, the nature of shipping and the nature of relationships. Seriously of all the things. I don’t like m/m S H I P S for my own personal reasons and you deeeeeefinitely don’t deserve an explanation.

But oh my god we can’t win either way. We’re damned if we DO like m/m ships (i’d be fetishizing gay relationships, homophobic) and I’m damned if I don’t (uncomfortable with real gay relationships apparently, and again, homophobic). Again, let’s just boil this argument down to the bone. 

People are really bad at realising ships aren’t real people, huh?

Not wanting to read certain fiction because you’ve been traumatized isn’t homophobia you little creep, I’m dying here, please stop trying to control how people feel about fucking fiction, fuck

And yeah, “anti-fujoshi” claim that the general concept of enjoying m/m content is “a gay male space” and like…no it isn’t, anyone can just. Read things. And talk about what they read. Fuck off lol

Women being attracted to men and therefore wanting to read about them isn’t fetishizing. Having a sexual orientation isn’t a fetish. And yeah, you’re not supposed to treat real people like they’re a show for you, which is why…they’re reading…fiction.

Im not big on oppression talk, but sometimes I really do believe people just hate women.

Ok but counterpoint: Gay men are absolutely allowed to dislike fujoshis and their pedalling of highly fetishized, stereotype reinforcing low quality content.

It’s just as creepy as lesbian porn obsessed coomers and very often fanfic fujoshis do that shit to real gay men and try to treat them as accessories or an outlet for their fantasies..

We are allowed to be tired of your shenanigans

Youre “allowed” to “dislike” whatever the fuxk you want, nobody here is interested in controlling your feelings, unlike the person above who thinks people’s reactions to fiction are their business.

I’d like to reiterate that as stated above, a huge amount of the m/m content y'all want to forbid women from engaging with you can have it to yourselves is written by women. Funnily enough, they’re allowed in supposed “men’s spaces”! Lol

Have you ever been introduced to the concept of addressing creeps without saying half the human population can’t do xyz thing that’s harmless when you aren’t being a creep? Do you understand that boad brush sexism isn’t the answer to individual misbehavior?

A fujoshi is literally just a woman who likes gay fiction, typically manga. Funnily enough, that has little to do with whether you as a person respect other people’s boundaries. Do some women both read BL and not see others as people deserving of respect? Yeah, that exists fucking everywhere, assholes have hobbies too. The normal folks in the hobby just call them out and/or have nothing to do with them. That’s how it works everywhere.

A woman having a gay ship isn’t “shenanigans” any more than men having anything to do with any lesbian ship is a creepy porn-overdosed obsession. The fact that people see having a sexuality and reading fiction as invasive behaviors that should be forbidden is entitled, controlling bullshit.

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So do people know about the fucking horrible real life event in Wales that everyone's favourite mindfuck film The Lighthouse, starring Robert Pattinson and Willem Dafoe, is partly based on, or do I have to tell you all

Allow me, if you will, to first set the scene.

The location is The Smalls, a group of rocks not far from Marloes Peninsula in Pembrokeshire. The lighthouse is, uh, this.

By 1801, the lighthouse, which was built to a rather odd design in 1776, already had a bit of a reputation as a place you didn’t necessarily want to find yourself as a lighthouse keeper. The design was generally sound, although strange, but some of the materials used made the structure somewhat unsteady, and it tended to rock in severe gales.

The man who paid for its construction, a Liverpudlian instrument-maker named Henry Whiteside, had gone to visit it and oversee some necessary repairs (see the previous paragraph about the lighthouse rocking in severe gales...) in 1777. He was accompanied by his blacksmith, and they ended up stranded there for a month when a huge storm swept in, battering the lighthouse with gale-force winds and rendering the tides unpassable. He wrote a message, sealed it in a bottle, and placed it in a casket - nice bit of foreshadowing here - imploring the receiver not to forget that he was there and begging for help, as all their supplies were almost exhausted. He survived the incident, you’ll be glad to hear.

At the time, a working lighthouse was usually tended by two men to ensure that the light did not go out. This way, one man would always be watching over the light. It was imperative that the light always be lit, because without the beacon to warn sailors of the approaching rocks, ships would very likely crash against them and cause huge losses of life.

In 1801, the two men tasked with this job were Thomas Howell, a younger man who was a cooper (made barrels, basically) before he became a lighthouse keeper, and Thomas Griffith, who was a good deal older and had been a labourer beforehand. Stories about the two of them say that Howell had a history of what we would now recognise as mental illness, and that Griffith had what we might call a ‘strong personality’, and that the two of them did not get on. They often argued and spent half their time at each other’s throats, so the prospect of spending a long period of time together in a lighthouse, 20 miles from anywhere else, with no-one else for company or respite, was going to be interesting, to say the least. Unfortunately, it turned out to be much more than just interesting.

Some weeks passed. They did their jobs, and the light didn’t go out. More time passed. And then, something happened to Griffith. Accounts differ as to whether he was injured or became unwell, but whatever befell him, it was obvious that his life was now in danger. Unable to leave the lighthouse to get help, they set up a distress signal in the hope that passing ships would come to their aid, but none did. To make matters worse, it became apparent that a terrible storm was brewing. Griffith died after a few weeks, and Howell’s nightmare began.

You see, the problem Howell now faced was what to do with Griffith’s dead body. The prospect of keeping the body inside the lighthouse didn’t particularly appeal, for fairly obvious reasons; as long as the storm raged on, he would be unable to leave the lighthouse, and anyway, someone had to stay to man the light. The body would quickly decompose, and spending any length of time in a confined space - the lighthouse interior was only around five metres in diameter - with a rotting corpse wasn’t Howell’s idea of a good time. However, throwing the body into the sea wasn’t an option, either. Due to the two men’s storied history of animosity, Howell was aware that discarding Griffith’s body would incriminate him for the man’s death, and make it look like he had something to hide. Howell weighed up his two options: spend a few weeks with a decaying corpse, or end up being hanged for murder. He chose the first one.

At first, he managed to go about his business almost as usual, while Griffith’s body rotted in the lighthouse alongside him, but after only a short time, the stench became unbearable. He began to realise that he wouldn’t be able to keep the body in the lighthouse much longer, and yet he knew that he couldn’t get rid of it, either.

Then, the solution came to him. Howell, remember, was a barrel-maker by trade. So, he dismantled a bulkhead in the sleeping compartment, fashioned it into a rudimentary coffin, and placed Griffith’s decomposing body inside it. He then affixed the coffin to the railings on the outside shelf with ropes, just outside the window of the sleeping compartment, so that the coffin wouldn’t get washed out to sea by the storms.

And then the storms worsened.

The lighthouse was battered by wind and rain so heavy that no ships could even get close. Rescue was out of the question. Howell worked, night and day, to keep the beacon lit, trying to send distress signals, but to no avail. Still tied to the railings, the coffin bore the brunt of the storm.

And then the winds started to blow the coffin apart.

Boards of wood were stripped away, leaving Griffith’s decaying body exposed to the rain and wind. The body itself was caught in ropes twisted around the railings. Outside Howell’s window, lit by the beam of the lighthouse, Howell could see the arm of the dead man, outstretched from rigor mortis and raised up in a beckoning fashion. At night, the wind lashed the remnants of the coffin and battered it against the lighthouse. As the storms raged on, the coffin completely blew apart and left only the body, hanging upside down from a tangle of ropes outside the window. When the wind blew at a certain angle, the rotting body swung and Griffith’s beckoning hand knocked against the window.

Called by Howell’s distress signal, a few ships did manage to get close enough  to the lighthouse during these weeks to see a lone man standing at the top of the lighthouse. The crews of these ships attempted to shout to the man, but he appeared not to hear them over the storm. He waved to them, but never made any attempt to respond to their calls. None of these ships could get close enough to land.

After three weeks, a boat was finally able to rescue Howell, and recover Griffith’s body. He had spent a total of four months in the lighthouse. The light had never gone out. However, he was so severely traumatised from the experience that when he got back to shore, his friends didn’t recognise him. He was described as grey and ashen, and he could barely speak. There’s very little information available about what happened to Howell after his rescue, but by some accounts, he had gone almost entirely mad.

After the events at Smalls Lighthouse, maritime policy changed, and all lighthouses were manned by three men rather than two.

  • The Lighthouse (2019) is partly based on this incident. Both protagonists in the film are named Thomas (Thomas Howard and Thomas Wake), which is a nod to Thomas Howell and Thomas Griffith. The idea of two men being stranded in a lighthouse during a violent storm, developing cabin fever, and ending up at loggerheads is also taken from these events. The film is also inspired, among other things, by an unfinished story by Edgar Allan Poe called The Light-House, the myth of Prometheus, and a whole bunch of Jungian theory. Fun.
  • There is a Welsh film, also called The Lighthouse (2016), which is a straight retelling of the events at Smalls Lighthouse. It’s actually pretty good, although nowadays a good 30% of the reviews are just ‘this doesn’t have Willem Dafoe in it, what gives?’ I bet the people who made that film thought that theirs would be the defining reimagining of the tragedy. Which is a bit awkward, really.
  • I have absolutely no reason to suspect that Edgar Allan Poe had even heard of this event when he wrote The Tell-Tale Heart, but there are definite similarities, so if you want to get a feeling for the events at Smalls Lighthouse, reading that story would probably get you in the zone.
  • Some people believe that the figure standing on the lighthouse seen by the failed rescue crews wasn’t Howell, but Griffith’s body, with his arm outstretched. I’m not sure I buy that, though.
  • The likely cause for Griffith’s death is theorised to have been a head injury incurred after he slipped outside during the storm, rather than a spontaneous illness.
  • Yes, some people obviously think that Howell killed Griffith, but I really don’t. I don’t see why you’d put yourself through the trauma of keeping the decaying body lashed outside your window to prove your innocence if you were guilty.
  • Some accounts say that Howell spent four months alone with the body, but I think that’s a misinterpretation - it seems that he spent four months in total there from the day of his arrival, three weeks of which he spent alone after Griffith died.
  • 30 years later, in 1831, the lighthouse was hit by a huge wave which tore the floor of the lighthouse keepers’ room up and hurled it against the ceiling. One keeper was killed.
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