sorry for being nice xoxo

And she IS a goddess, so… yeah 

me today honestly

In the immortal words of Granny Weatherwax. "I aten't dead."

Exactly.

Also my old friends group used to say "not on fire."

It is once again time to share my favourite christmas card: Big dommy she-krampus, an unsuspecting victim and the dude in her basket who is delighted to be here and is already planning how he's going to make it to the "naughty" list again next year

Honestly, that's part of the reason why functioning labels suck

the new family drama i’m obsessed with has been the saga of my eight year old cousin trying to understand how our uncle is related to our grandpa and not our grandma. the answer is our grandpa cheated on her with a nurse and had our uncle, but NO ONE wants to explain cheating and adultery to an eight year old so they’ve just been telling him to ask someone else. so far it’s gone my mom -> me -> his mom -> his dad and he still is no closer to an answer. we are very quickly running low on knowledgeable adults and i cannot wait to see where he goes if that trail goes dry

my roommate weighs in on the issue

my mom brought up a good point, which is the fact that this kid is heavily religious. was named after a biblical figure and watches bible retellings for fun religious. in his mind he cannot physically comprehend how you can have a child with someone you are not married to, which is a very interesting addition to this case.

i should also add that, when the concept was first brought up to him, he went, “so was grandpa the one pregnant???” and i’m so obsessed with the fact that his brain considered mpreg before literally any other possible explanation

have i not suffered enough already. was it not enough for youtube shorts to cover me. must this be my eternal fate

I’m falling down the rabbithole of deep sea research footage and my god there’s beasts down there.

you ever look at certain american christmas movies and wonder how, seemingly, not a single person during the whole production bothered to look up what a reindeer is? like is there a single piece of animated rudolph the red-nosed reindeer media where rudolph is depicted as a reindeer and not a white-tailed deer?

red nose just because :)

My mom told me that if you walk under a bridge with a train on it, you can make a wish and it can come true.

I didn’t have a particular wish so I always hoped for “everything to be ok”, regardless in what situation I was. I always walked or used trams in the city, but I never used a train until recently. And going over the same spot I kept making wishes and seeing it from above made me remember what I used to do.

there should be a way to enable anons but only from ur mutuals. u wont know who said it but u know its coming from inside the house

so fucking sick of popular creators still mentioning harry potter like it's nothing, and thinking that tacking on a quick "obviously jk rowling sucks, but - " like no. that's not enough. why are we STILL just letting it slide when people talk about how much they're still invested in the franchise and how they plan on continuing to consume its installments after everything. you cannot separate rowling from her creation. her bigotry is baked into it. how many times does it have to be said???

big poofy dresses sketchdump

the secret to being a cool adult is to wear things that your younger self wanted to wear but couldn’t and to do things that your younger self wanted to do but couldnt