i think we should all consider getting emotional over this xkcd. as a group. let's get emotional about it

i like that we all think about a rock's journey so often no matter our education on the subject

I guess if you love Go Your Own Way you are feral about The Chain.

Miss Congeniality (2000) dir. Donald Petrie

It's the perfect date!

Drop Dead Gorgeous 1999 | dir. Michael Patrick Jann

[audio transcription: bird pushes through the door and begins laughing like a super-villain] 

i’ve watched this 20 times now. each time is better than the last

I turn 30 next month so here’s what I learned in my 20s:

—don’t work for startups, they’re always one ‘innovative idea’ away adding ‘sell your kidneys on the black market’ to your job description.

—keeping a collection of basic OTC medicine on you will save your life one day. I recommend Advil, Imodium, and TUMS.

—those little single-use glasses cleaning wipes are 1000% worth the money

—overly self-depreciating jokes just make people uncomfortable, wean yourself off of them

—you can buy dehydrated mini marshmallows in bulk online and they’re a godsend for hot cocoa

—people don’t care if you have fidget toys on your desk they just want to play with them

—try to go to bed BEFORE the existential ennui kicks in

Also drink water and eat a plant

This is all GREAT. I turned 40 last week, so permit me to add what I learned in my 30s:

I turn 50 this year. what I have learned in my 40s:

Just turned 60 and let me say:

This is too tempting…, so, I’m 74, and: don’t fund startups

Please keep stretching and exercise enough NOT to need an elaborate strategy to get up from the floor. IT MAY SAVE YOUR LIFE

Say bye to your employer as early as you possibly can, unless you really love your job. You won’t be sorry.

Keep doing the annual checkups 🙏🏼

Enjoy that fucking hobby you’ve acquired in your 50, or find something new. Do try new things & adventures.

me and the mutuals all sleep in the same bed like the monkees

hi i’ve got some great news for you

guys they have to wear shoes in bed bc they’re in a haunted house and what if they have to run away suddenly. think before you speak

[ID: A screenshot of Tumblr tags: "#genuinely thought you meant the band #was just completely ready to accept that they famously shared a bed and i was the only one who hadn't heard of it".

A screenshot from The Monkees. The four bandmates, wearing pajamas, all sleep in a large bed under the same quilt. Their shoe-clad feet stick out from under the quilt. END ID]

The Librarian Quest For The Spear (2004)

you bottle Miette??

You crush Miette like the grape?

brick up mother in basement for ONE THOUSAND YEARS

reverse gaslighting where i pretend to know exactly what you are talking about

academic conferences

Work meetings

Interviews

Auditory processing disorder

conversations with my cats who are yelling

Me letting that little kid with their hyper fixation tell me every single fact they know about it

Goncharov (1973)

reblog if your name isn't Amanda.

We’ll find you Amanda.

this has almost 11 million notes what is this

I’ve never seen this post once in 10 years on this site

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

I’ve never even heard of this before tho??? Wtf??????????

oh my god, I didn’t think there were any surviving versions of this post left

For those who weren’t around in the Deep Lore times, this is one of the relics of the editable post era. This post has THE SINGLE HIGHEST NOTES of ANY post on this site, bar none, but with more than a dozen variations. Every single post you’ve ever seen with more than 3 million notes has been a different version of this one.

This is the “Dean’s Gym Shorts” post. This is the Flubber post. This is the original “Reblog if you support gay people” post. it was ALL of them. before half the site got nuked, it had even more notes than it has now - at one point, well over 15 million, and that was years ago.

This, with no exaggeration, is the ONE TRUE heritage post

Imagine being the opponent, top of game one of the best in the world, making eye contact as you pass the leader of the race who stopped for some ducks, only to have that same person eclipse you by 30 fucking seconds before you reach the finish line. You would never get in a boat again.

Dogs: There’s a hole in the floor. Leap. Leap. No way! I waits here for you guys to come back.

Cat: Hmmm, a portal. It bothers me not. For I can levitate & I’m unaffected by such trivial things.

can you believe that we have fanfiction. that we have websites dedicated to fanfiction. that there is a place that you can go and read tens, hundreds, thousands and thousands of pieces of writing that strangers have made. people who are not "writers". people who come home at the end of the day and have feelings and say, i am going to put that into words. i am going to share those words. short, long, sweet, sad, horny, funny, wonderful words. we are all just human and we all love to make and remake and share that with others. can you believe that.

That relatable moment when you're awkwardly stuck in an elevator with your father and don't have anything to talk about.

"So......about the hand....."

Don’t fret, fellow failures at math: Klinger hates word problems, too.