Where Are They Now? Eady’s Elite Edition: Gunner
A/N: I would personally like to thank my tumblr readers for providing of all of their headcanons for Gunner. Even though I could never pull off Stripper Gunner or Dead Gunner realistically in this, I did mention it somehow in my own way but I will be glad to do a crack fic involving Zombie-Stripper!Gunner one of these days after I’m done with my Where Are They Are Now? Project.
When Gunner left the Selection, he wasn’t disappointed. If anything he was relieved and slightly confused. Relieved that he wouldn’t have to fill Queen America’s shoes as a consort; he didn’t think anyone could fill her shoes as well as she did with Queen Amberly. He was confused because while Eadlyn’s kiss had been pleasurable, he didn’t feel anything. Not as in she wasn’t the One but he didn’t feel physical attraction. He had never felt it with anyone, for a matter of fact and it worried him. Does this mean he’ll die alone because he didn’t feel any physical or romantic feelings for anyone?
There was a time before the Elite boys settled down when they shared a house as roommates in Angeles because they missed each other after their Selection and simply enjoyed each other’s company enough to share a house.
This was one of those times where all the boys were gathered in the house to hang around each other and even Eikko was present. Gunner decided he would raise the question. He nudged Ean, since he was the current LGBT expert in the house.
“Hey Ean, is there a sexuality that involves not feeling any physical or romantic attraction?”
“Not feeling any physical attraction is being asexual and for romantic attraction is being aromantic. That being said, there are aces and aros who do experience those types of attractions but don’t find it pleasurable. There is a whole spectrum on this, I could get you some books on it, if you’d like.” Ean smiled and offered to get them right away but Gunner shook his head and had a faraway look of awe on his face. He was coming to terms with his sexuality. He never had the chance to think about it before, when society supresses you into thinking that being straight is the default sexuality. Gunner felt a new sense of belonging and pride. He pumped his fist into the air and let out a loud ‘WOOO!’ causing all of the boys except Ean to turn to him.
It was strange for them to see Gunner like this, he was an introvert during his time in The Selection but was slowly leaning towards becoming an ambivert after spending time with the rest of the Elite boys. He usually faded in the background which was why Eady never noticed him much until after his poem. So to see him so loud and happy, he seemed to mirror Henri, who was the first to question Gunner’s outburst.
“What happening?” Henri could almost start stringing whole sentences without Eikko’s help.
“I’M ASEXUAL YOU GUYS! IT’S A GLORIOUS DAY!” Then he went around kissing all of the boys on top of their heads. Ean couldn’t help but bury his face in his hands and groan. The newbies who always come to this deep epiphany of being anything other than completely straight always do this; Ean knew this all too well. He did smile at Gunner’s joyous mood, he was glad he helped someone come to terms with who they are.
“You don’t have to always come out you know, Gunner. Straight people never have to do it.” Ean pointed out coolly.
“I just wanted my best buddies to know.” Gunner ruffled Ean’s perfectly done hair but instantly froze and retracted his hand when he saw Ean’s cold stare.
Note to self: Never mess with Ean’s hair. Gunner thought to himself.
At this point, Eikko had translated most of it to Henri and Henri jumped up and hugged Gunner while exclaiming,
“Onneksi olkoon, ystäväni! Onneksi olkoon, ystäväni!”
“Congratulations?” Gunner questioned and Eikko confirmed with a single nod.
“Well, I’m so glad you came to this life changing conclusion, Gunny but now let’s see if you can get a real job!” Fox laughed, winking at the man of the hour. Gunner took the closest thing to him - a throw pillow - and threw it at Fox.
“Shut up, Foxy. I thought we agreed not to call me Gunny.”
“HEY! I HAND-STITCHED THAT MYSELF! Just because it’s called a throw pillow doesn’t mean you actually throw it, if that keeps up the seams will fall apart and I will set Ean loose on you!” Hale reprimanded them and they all giggled in response. Everyone knew Hale never gets violent so he usually threatens everyone with Ean even though they all knew Ean was much too classy to punch someone. Just then, Gunner’s dog, Lara- a German Shepherd- came along into the room barking. She then started wrestling the throw pillow from Fox with her teeth. Hale almost lost it.
“Lara! No! Lara Croft, do you hear me? Let go of the pillow!” Gunner tried to help Hale out. After hearing her owner’s soothing voice, she let go of the pillow and jumped on Gunner’s lap. Ean just stared motified - he despised dogs- while Henri came over to pat it.
“Söpö koira!” Henri laughed as Lara licked his face.
All the boys’ turned when Fox’s laptop pinged, indicating that Kile was online to video call. Since he had been ‘banished’ to Bonita, he couldn’t live with the boys but video called in frequently to check in with his best friends. The boys gathered around Fox’s laptop with Lara on Henri’s lap now and Ean on the other side of the group, as far away as he can get from Henri and dog but still in the frame. Fox set up the camera and called Kile. When his face popped up on the screen, they all cheered. A cute little ritual amongst the boys.
“Hey guys!” The different variations of ‘Hi/Hello/Hey Kile’ chorused and echoed through the living room and Lara barked happily once she saw Kile.
“Good to see you too, Lara,” The shaggy haired blonde laughed, “Did you guys get my care package?”
Another traditional ritual between the Elite boys, they sent Kile care packages to remind him that they were always going to be here and he sent one back every month and it was always huge because it had something for everyone. This month’s package, especially the package for Gunner, had been a particular problem for everyone.
“You really shouldn’t have sent Gunner all that dairy products, you know what it does to him.” Ean reprimanded. Gunner smiled sheepishly with his mouth full of cheese.
“He’s been hogging the bathroom because he has the runs everytime he consumes the cheese and you should see how he drowns his cereal every morning with milk!” Fox complained while Hale chimed in,
“His lactose intolerance is getting out of hand, no more cheese for you, Gunner and Kile, do not send anymore dairy.” The tailor plucked the block of cheese Gunner was snacking on out of his hand.
“Well you could almost say that my problem’s intolerable.” Gunner giggled to himself at the joke and all the boys enjoyed in, unable to stop themselves. Fox thwacked him on the head.
“Don’t you start on those jokes now. Once I stop peeing in bottles, then you can start your jokes.”
“Okay, I’m sorry, I know that was cheesy.” Gunner ducked his head apologetically while laughing to himself so hard his dimples started to show. Even Kile was wheezing on the other side of the screen, reminding Eikko of how his father-in-law laughs.
“So help me God I will end this call, Kile Carter Woodwork.” Fox warned light-heartedly before turning to Gunner, “You spoil all the fun, Gunny!”
“How dairy you accuse me of such a thing, Foxy!” He fake-gasped and now everyone was doubled over in laughter. After a few simple translations from Eikko, Henri fell over onto the floor laughing which scared Lara causing her to leap across the room and somehow land on Ean who shrieked.
This was the typical day at the Elite Household.
A few weeks later, Gunner came home frustrated at his lack of a career. He was currently working at the local high school as an English, History and French subtitute teacher but it was only a temp job. He looked at his housemates; Hale had his career jump started as a world-renowned designer because he designed Eady’s wedding dress, Ean liked to keep his profile low so he was a private tutor for ‘difficult’ (aka snotty rich) kids but even that was stable. Fox was okay being a lifeguard and teaching kids how to swim. Henri started his own bakery and café and occasionally worked catering jobs for celebrities. Then here was Eikko, Mr. Prince Consort. They all knew Kile was doing well in Bonita, helping the growth of Illéa.
What I did I have? Gunner thought, angrily. Unlike Hale, he didn’t want to be famous and make it big using his status as being a former Elite so he had sent his manuscripts under a pseudonym - Gunther Cross - because he wanted his manuscripts to be accepted because they were good not because the publishers thought that he might have close connections to the Queen just because he was in her Selection. Yeah sure Gunner was close to the Queen via her consort because Eikko came over every other weekend to have burping competitions with the rest of them.
So far, he had been rejected by most of the publishing companies and was still waiting on others. He was tired of waiting. To calm himself down, he set his work things in his room, grabbed his laptop and headed to the kitchen. It was a big house, with a few extra rooms other than the ones the other boys had occupied but the only two rooms Gunner ever utilises are his own room and the kitchen. When he walked into the kitchen, as usual Henri was cooking up something.
“Hello today, Gunner!” The bearhug Henri gave him cheered him up a little.
“Hey, Henri. What are you making today?” Gunner gestured to the counter where the kneeded dough sat.
“Leipäjuusto…is ah bread cheese?” Gunner helped to look it up and showed him a picture and Henri pointed excitedly and clapped. Gunner loved the guy, he was always so cheerful. As Henri baked, Gunner sat up his computer to watch a pre-recorded rugby game. He absolutely adored rugby and a few years ago as an adolescent he tried to play it but soon found out that he was the most uncoodinated person he had ever known. So after a while he realised that not everyone was meant to play rugby, he was content with watching it.
Halfway through he got hungry and Henri was still making his cheese bread (which Gunner swore to himself he will stay away from because he didn’t want Fox to pee in any more bottles) so Gunner got up and went to make himself some popcorn; after which he heavily salted it and melted just a little bit of butter on it, just the way he liked it. As he sat down, Henri passed something over to him.
“Thanks, Henri, WAIT NO!” He dropped it on the counter. Henri had offered him a chocolate bar. He absolutely loathed chocolate ever since he found out that it kills dogs. Henri scratched his head confused.
“No chocolate?”
“No chocolate,” Gunner confirmed, “Kills dogs.” He made a motion at Lara who had trotted in and made the killing gesture as he dragged his finger across his neck. Henri was definitely alarmed and then shooed away Lara so as to prevent her from accidentally eating the chocolate and also to ensure her fur doesn’t contaminate the food.
After the rugby game ended, Gunner skimmed through his emails and most of them were rejection letters for his manuscript. He had enough. He let out a string of expletives. Immediately, his friends came running to the kitchen. Gunner Croft never swore. This was the first time and there’s always a first time for everything.
“Damn Gunner, what’s wrong?” Fox asked while pulling his best friend close to hug him. Gunner was only able to mumble his words out since he was pressed against Fox’s chest. Fox, realising this, gave Gunner some space.
“God Fox, why are your boobs bigger than my sister’s?” Fox hit him.
“Good to see you can still make jokes.”
“Love you too, lover.” Gunner winked before drooping his shoulders again, “I’m pissed, you guys. I don’t have a stable job or a proper career unlike you. My manuscript has been reject God know how many times and I’m just so miserable.” He plopped his head on the counter and groaned.
“Gunner okay?” Henri asked.
“I don’t think so.” Hale shook his head, poking at Gunner’s head.
“I’m not dead, you idiot.” Gunner grunted.
“I think Kile can help fix this. Fox, please go get the laptop and call Blondie.” Ean instructed. Who knows where they would be without Ean? Fox looked mildly offended.
“I thought I was Blondie! Ean, how dare you betray me? I LOVE YOU!” They all heard Gunner snort and relaxed a little.
“Hands off, Blondie!” Hale snarled.
Once the call was set up, Kile’s calm voice floated through the room.
“Gunner, as much as I love seeing your dark curly afro, it would be nicer to see your face, buddy.” Gunner slowly tilted his head up and it was clear that this was really bothering him, his eyes were rimmed red. The rest of the boys saw this and all huddled close to hug him. Fox relyed everything that Gunner had mentioned earlier to Kile.
“It’s all going to be okay.” They all assured him in sync. It was creepy how often they all did that. Only Henri was out of sync with his bashful little “Everything okay!”
“You know you don’t need a stable career to be happy. You can do whatever the hell you want and still be happy.” Kile told him. The other boys patted his back comfortingly.
“Be happy! Have bread cheese. Bread cheese!” Henri echoed Kile and fed Gunner the bread while the rest all let out small giggles. Henri was more than happy to make them laugh and smile. Gunner sniffled and smiled too while eating.
“It’s not a nice feeling getting rejected.” he mumbled looking downcast.
“I still don’t understand why you can’t use your real name.” Hale questioned.
“Ha! As if Gunther Cross isn’t obvious enough. I keep telling him Fox Wesley is a much better pseudonym but he won’t listen.” Fox answered for Gunner which the latter didn’t appreciate so he punched Fox where the sun doesn’t shine.
“Okay I’ll shut up.” Fox squeaked.
“The best you can really do is keep doing what you’re doing, Gunner. Hale has sneaked me some of your works. I will admit, they are really good. Anyone would be a fool to reject them. Just keep sending them out those manuscripts and at least one publishing firm is bound to accept it.” Ean advised and Gunner looked up at him, touched.
“Thank you, Ean that means alot to me coming from you.” Then Fox tossed him some ice cubes and Gunner pressed it against Ean’s arm, “That being said I have wanted to do this for a long time. The Ice King has finally melted.” The rest of them held their breaths. They didn’t know what to expect from Ean at this point, not even Hale.
“HENRI UNZIP HIS PANTS!” Ean yelled while gesturing wildly to Gunner’s pants. Henri quickly understood and I unzipped Gunner’s pants and held it open while Ean dropped the ice cubes in and quickly zipped it back up.
“FUCK!” Gunner screamed and spent a full minute jumping around with his cold balls while Fox struggled to help unzip his best friend’s pants. Finally after that whole fiasco, the boys settled down and Kile raised a question.
“So if Ean’s the Ice King, does that make Hale the Ice Queen?” Hale fanned himself and batted his eyes obnoxiously in response.
“Ice Princes!” Henri chimed in, gesturing wildly at Fox, Gunner and himself.
“I wanna be the Ice Princess!” Gunner yelled, gleefully. He stood up and placed a huge kiss on Ean and Hale’s cheeks while, yelling, ‘Momma and Papa’ at them. Ean wasn’t feeling it and shoved him aside. Gunner’s previous problems were all forgotten. Gunner looked around, appreciative of his friends and couldn’t imagine living without them.
Just then, the phone rang. Gunner instinctively knew it was for him and ran for it.
“Hello?”
“Hello, may I speak to Gunther Cross?” Gunner almost squealed. It was a publishing company getting back to him. He gestured for the others not to pull any tricks like pretending that they were doing something obscene. Last time, his Nana called and she almost went into a coma after Fox did his rendition of an old song called Toxic by an old icon called Britney Spears in his most sultry voice.
“Yes, this is Gunther speaking. How may I help you?”
“Well Gunther, I’m Jules Vernon from Illéa Publishing. I’ve read both your poem anthology as well as your novel. We would like to offer you a deal for both. When would be the most convenient time for you to meet with us to discuss this over on a more detailed and technical basis?”
“Let me check my calendar, could you give me a moment?” He covered the phone speaker with his hand and threw the other fist in the air and let out a celebratory ‘WHOOP!’ What happened instead was, he knocked his fist into Fox who was drinking water and splashed his whole glass of water on Gunner and the phone. There was a live wire hanging off from the phone which came loose when Gunner pulled at the cord in excitement and the water got all over it, thus electrocuting him. It all happened in a blur and the boys didn’t know how to react until he fell to the floor.
“Ohmygod! He’s dead, you guys!” Fox screaming, running around an unconscious Gunner.
“NOT DEAD! HELP!” Henri yelled and tried to pick up Gunner. They all came to their senses and tried to keep Gunner’s head elevated from the floor as Ean dialled for the ambulance.
“Who’s idea was it to install the phone near the sink and water pitcher?” Fox asked annoyed.
“My idiotic fiancé.” Ean replied nonchalantly while he waited for the medics to pick up.
“It was an aesthetic I saw online.” Hale exclaimed defensively.
“Well is a dead Gunner a part of your aesthetic?”
“Shut up and put a cold rag to his head, he might be going into shock soon. It wasn’t me who spilt water over him and the live wire.” Hale instructed and scoffed.
“Shut up and keep Gunner out of shock.” Ean said as got off the phone, informing them that the ambulance would be arriving soon.
***
A week later, Gunner was fully recovered, the phone in the kitchen had been disposed off and he needed to call Illéa Publishing to make his appointment.
“So what was the call you were fussing about before almost dying?”
“For the last time, Fox, I did not die! I’m here now, aren’t I? And the call was from a publishing company wanting to publish both my novel and poem anthology.”
“Ohhh, here I thought I could suggest that you could become a stripper as your stable career that you were going on about. Well now that you are going to be an author; I can see it now: Author by day, Stripper by night.” Gunner almost threw the throw pillow at him until he remember how Hale reacted the last time. Instead he gently pushed Lara towards Fox.
“Bite him, Lara!” The fault was that Fox and Gunner spent so much together that Lara adored Fox as much as she adored her owner.
“Bite me, Gunner.”
“Mords moí, Fox.”
“You know I hate it when you speak French.”
“Tu sais que je déteste quand vous parlez français.”
“Ugh!”
“Pouah!”
“EAN, HE’S MIMICKING ME IN FRENCH AGAIN!”
“EAN, IL ME IMITANT EN FRANÇAIS À NOUVEAU!”
“Not my problem!” Ean yelled from his room, it was so obvious that Hale and him were doing it. Hale never shuts up during and it has kept the boys up on most nights.
“Now shut up, I need to make a call.” Gunner switched back to English.
“You’d look good in stripper tights, I’m just saying.”
“Fox, if you don’t shut up right now, I will find stripper tights and glue them onto you.” Fox knew Gunner would go through with this threat since the last time he shaved Fox’s hair off when Fox had pissed him off. He shut up and let Gunner make his call.
Gunner finally made it as a world renowned writer and poet. After coaxing from the publishing firm, he was convinced to publish his books under his real name. In the past five years, each of the boys moved out one by one. First was Ean and Hale because they wanted to start a family near Ean’s family so they moved to Hansport. Then Henri who had met Skye, serving as his translator amongst his friends until they wanted to move to Sota to be closer to Henri’s family. Fox was the last to move out, only because Clara couldn’t take Gunner and Fox’s constant pranks on her for the two months she tried to live with them. Five years since he got that call, now all the Elites and their families as well as Eady, Eikko and Kerttu had gathered in their house -which was left to Gunner- for his birthday.
“HAPPY BIRTHDAY, GUNNER!” They surprised him when he walked through the door. He jumped back startled but soon recovered, smiled happily at his guests.
“It’s good to see everyone.” He hadn’t seen them in the last two years or so because they were all so busy with their kids but they did visit once in awhile that all the children tackled him.
“HAPPY BIRTHDAY, UNCLE GUNNER!” Their squeaky voices chorused as they jumped on him one by one. Zofia, Hale and Ean’s eldest daughter stood at a distance. Gunner laughed when he saw her and pulled her towards the pile of children.
“You’re so embarassing, Uncle Gunner.”
“Does this mean I don’t get my present this year, Zo?” He pouted like a little kid that she couldn’t help but laugh. She shoved his present into his hands and ran off. Gunner let the kids go and play with each other while he caught up with their parents.
“So everyone, I’ve done a lot of travelling with the book tour and I think I’m satisfied. I’ve found a stable job that’s going to help me settle down, you guys.”
“STRIPPER IT IS! I’m so glad you found your calling, Gunny! OW, CLARA!” His wife had elbowed him in the ribs and Eady burst out laughing.
“Look what you made the Queen do!” he reprimanded his wife. She just pinched him and told him to listen to Gunner’s announcement.
“Fox, I think your wife would like to know what I did for you 21th birthday. The stripper tights incident…” Gunner gave him a suggestive look.
“You wouldn’t!”
“Can you just get on with the announcement, Gunner?” Ean was impatient.
“Well I talked it over with The Royal Family and Gavril, we agreed that I could take over his job. I do like entertaining people and now we can all be closer together since I imagine that Kerttu would call for all of us to be interviewed every once in a while.” They all laughed.
“Congrats Gunner!” For the first time in five years, the Elites were once again in sync and now with Gunner being the new Gavril, he can call for them anytime, they will be more in sync for many more occasions to come.