After the credits of Glass Onion, you KNOW Blanc hopped on the phone like
"Marta, I just - yes, yes, I know, it's late for you - but listen I just - well, if you were going to bed, why did you pick up? - anyway, I just met this AMAZING woman, you HAVE to meet her, Marta she blew up a HOUSE - yes, on purpose - YES, WITH PEOPLE INSIDE, also the Mona Lisa - no, I'm in Greece - Marta, please stop yelling, I'm very tired -"
super quicknmessy dinahbabs i had to get out of my head
What’s she playin’? Runescape?
RUNESCAPE 🔥🔥🔥
"We call it vff," said the alien. "It's - it's hard to describe to a species without vffsense. Imagine trying to describe light to a species that never evolved eyes. But there are forms of life that are only perceptible with vffsense, and they've visited Earth and fed on life as long as it's existed here."
There was a pause.
Then the human said, "That's the worst thing you've ever said."
"Don't worry about it."
"I think I have to, now."
"No, because - well - you have a species of spider which pretends to be an ant, correct? It's not capable of understanding the fact that it's mimicking an ant, but it instinctually mimics an ant in order to deter predators."
"Sure?"
"Humans produce a vff to mimic varths, predators only perceptible through vffsense. The organisms that would like to feed on you are terrified of varths, and so they leave you alone. You aren't aware you do it, you don't have the capacity to understand you're doing it, but you evolved to instinctually do it to deter predators you can't see."
There was a pause.
Then the human said in a very soft and thoughtful voice, "And are there varths on Earth?"
"Yes," said the alien. "Everywhere. But don't worry about it."
"I think I have to, now."
"Well, varths can also sense vff, of course, but to a varth you putting off varth like vff isn't particularly frightening."
"Not frightening, ok. So do they feed on us?"
"No."
"So if not feeding then something... else?"
"Yes. Quite a lot of something else actually."
"What do you mean a lot of something else?"
"Well, you know ostriches?"
"Yeah?"
"When you humans keep ostriches, sometimes you accidentally exhibit features and behaviors that... appeal to an ostrich more than a member of their own species."
"So you're saying varth find us-"
"Incconsivably sexy, desirable to the point they abandon their own home planet and species with some regularity. It's actually quite fascinating, humans are to varth as cats are to catnip."
"Wow that's a lot to take in... you sure know a lot of animal metaphors. You could be a zoologist."
"I am a zoologist"
"Oh?"
"That's why I'm here, talking to you."
"Ah."
What a lovely little shop. Shame about the horrors.
For something else, I came up with a fictional person named Meghan. In case you’re curious, there's some more you can know about her.
okay i ruined your life but did you not have fun? exactly relax
No cause, Howl’s greatest strength as a person and a character is the ability to trick others and the audience into thinking that he is a melodramatic idiot that lucks his way into problems that he has started. AND HE IS BUT HE’S ALSO VERY SMART I PROMISE-
This mf is so good at blending into an exaggerated version of himself that you don’t even notice just how smart he is. This fucking college dropout mastered dimensional travel and keeps said device built into his HOUSE. HE HAS A MAGIC WINDOW THAT PEERS INTO THE HUMAN WORLD SO HE CAN CHECK ON HIS FAMILY-
My god I wanna dissect this- is this why people annotate in the story???? I- I have to buy a second copy….
Okay but it goes so much further than that tho, because the ending is showing that for literally a third of the book he is purposefully lying and putting on an act.
Sophie, Michael, even Calcifer was convinced that Howl was courting Ms. Angorian (although Calcifer might've known,) and yet it isn't until he rescued Sophie from the Witch of the Waste that he admitted he loved her and just needed a way to get to the fire demon. Hell, he knew from the very start that Sophie was cursed and so half his arguing with her was probably the worst attempt at flirting ever.
I could go on a full tirade about how carefully crafted Howl is as a wizard and a person, and why the book requires at least two more read throughs before you realize how amazing Diana Wynne Jones wrote him, but that's for another day.
TL;DR, Howl is a madman but also a genius, much more than you initially thought.
5 year old Orin: High Priest, my foolish idiot sibling tore the head off my doll. I demand he be flayed alive.
7 year old Dark Urge: I only did it because this useless waste of flesh wouldn't let me pull her head off. She should die, immediately.
The Bhaal High Priest tasked with raising two murder goblins:
dadchuck is everything to me
i love everything about this troll stuff though
"i'm literally looking at one right now dude"
(via @rlyehtaxidermist)
Spring omen.
i'd hesitate to call the tim burton alice in wonderland movie good but the scene where mia wasikowska uses her daily pre-antipsychotics era coping affirmations to slay the Slenderdragon was kind of real as fuck
me in a horror movie: [remembering my therapist told me to try rationalising the things that scare me into more manageable forms] uhhhhhhhh you're just an abstract symbol of my fear of taking responsibility for the consequences of my actions *runs at the creature and hits it with an axe until it dies*
ocs. have you guys heard about this?
no whats that
you can make up a guy... no one can stop you
big if true
1. ROBOT GIRL THAT WEARS AV CHORDS AS EARRINGS
2. ROBOT GIRLS USING KNIVES BECAUSE THEIR LASER BEAMS ARE BROKEN. THEY ARE CUTTING THE WIRES OF COPS AND USING THEM TO MAKE FOOD FOR EACHOTHER.
3. ROBOT GIRLS WITH JEAN JACKETS AND SKIRTS THAT DONT FIT QUITE RIGHT.
4. ROBOT GIRLS WHO DON’T QUITE UNDERSTAND HOW THEY WORK YET AND SO HAVE TO LOOK UP YOUTUBE VIDEOS LATE INTO THE NIGHT TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO TURN THE NOISE OF THEIR FAN DOWN SO THEY DONT BOTHER THEIR CAT WHILE THEYRE ASLEEP.
5. ROBOT GIRLS WITH BELTS.
I could fucking go on like this yall have no idea.
I should be doing this instead of writing emails
once again thinking about jason as duke’s robin. he’s ~4 years younger than jason, and that’s puts him at 8-12 during Jason’s time as robin. that’s prime time to get attached to your local kid vigilante before your own life goes downhill.
and if we try to keep duke’s meeting with bruce in zero year + duke’s age (so he can remember the meeting and hold that conversation with bruce), he has to be around 8. if he starts following batman through the news at that time, the robin he sees is jason. I’ve literally connected the dots
jason as robin comforting duke while rescuing him and then then years later, jason encourages duke using the same words during a mission and duke (who has repeated that memory in his head a thousand times because that was robin talking to him) just has an epiphany and realizes jason was the second robin so he pauses in the middle of a high stakes mission to go “AREN’T YOU DEAD”
i said it was my favorite piece of media that i’ve hyperfixated on since the tender age of 12 and have not let go of since. i didnt say it was a Good piece of media
“what do you like about it so much?” the fact that it cocooned me like a tender wool blanket during my vulnerable teenage years. next question
