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spaaaace

@crusading-kirk

it’s trippy as fuck up here
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haredjarris
mccoy: when you've been ship's surgeon as long as i have, you develop a thick skin-
kirk: bones, science blue is not your colour
mccoy: science blue-- brings out my eyes you prick-!
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oceans-foundfamily

Making my little sister identify random Star Trek characters (part 2)

Admiral Locust:

  • “He’s won fifty different space awards.”
  • “He steals bagels from the cafeteria, but then he blames it on the space aliens.”
  • Her: “His occupation is the substitute captain.” Me: “But isn’t he an admiral?” Her: “His first name is Admiral.”

*gasp* “That’s Whoopi Goldberg!”:

  • “She designs the season’s hottest looks for the crew. She’s a talented fashion designer.”
  • “Ever wonder why the redshirts die? It’s because she puts stuff in the red shirts to kill them. She only gives red shirts to people she doesn’t like.”
  • “She attended Space Julliard.”

Mungus:

  • “He doesn’t have a lot of friends, but his favorite TV show is Friends.”
  • “He’s just a happy man. He doesn’t have a job on the ship. He just walks around.”
  • (She started to mention something about hosting karaoke nights again. She’s really convinced that every crew has someone who hosts karaoke nights.)

Dimitria:

  • “There used to only be red shirts and yellow shirts and green shirts, but she invented black shirts because she’s goth.”
  • “She handles the computers because her right eye is a computer. She lost it in the war, and they were going to give her a real one, but she wanted a computer.”
  • “She’s actually from Mississippi but doesn’t tell anyone because it doesn’t sound cool.”

Borszhof:

  • “Oh yeah he works for Russia.”
  • “Once he swallowed an apple seed, and that’s why there’s a tree growing in his head.”
  • “He’s actually an admiral.”
  • “He keeps trying to get the crew to buy him a jet pack because he really wants one.”

Mark:

  • “If you’re blue, you’re part of the ocean division. That means that when everyone else gets off on the alien planet to look at wildlife, you go swimming.”
  • Me: “What does he do on the ship?” Her: “The best thing he can do for everyone is stay out of the way.”
  • “He’s very clumsy, but he’s good at making apple pie.”
  • “His favorite musical is Waitress. He’s just a nice, homely man.”

“There’s Mr. Spock finally”:

  • “He’s the master of the pinch.”
  • “His favorite show is Star Trek.”
  • “He’s also part of the ocean division, and his job is to look after Mark.”
  • “Nobody likes him very much from what I remember. He’s kind of a stick-in-the-mud.”

“THAAAAT’S the captain”:

  • “He wears a yellow shirt because he’s so extra.”
  • “Want to know why his skin is so glowing and beautiful? If he doesn’t feel like coming to work, he takes a self-care day. He owns a massage roller.”
  • “He won the Miss Georgia pageant on account of his glowing skin.”
  • Me (trying to get more info): “Describe his relationship to some of the other characters.” Her: “Spock.” *refuses to elaborate*

Rodney:

  • “Rodney isn’t actually part of the crew. He just showed up one day. Their crew is so big they can’t tell anyone apart anymore.”
  • “When you apply to be a member of the Enterprise, you’re supposed to bring a headshot, but he brought his mugshot, but it’s good that he did because they found out his height, which is 8’3”.”
  • “He has a personal rock tumbler. He doesn’t put rocks in there anymore so no one knows what’s in there.“
  • “He speaks fifty languages but none of them are the right ones.”
  • “Wait, is that Benedict Cumberbatch?”

Brian Shwartz:

  • “He’s from the same planet as Borszhof, but he didn’t swallow a tree so his head is fine and he’s a normal man.”
  • “There’s a specific dress code on the Enterprise but he doesn’t follow it, because he owns better clothes.”
  • “His most prized possession is a wand that he bought when he went to Space Wizarding World of Harry Potter. Everyone else has special space scooters, but he made his look like a broom so he can live his Harry Potter fantasy. He’s been trying to get Spock to read the Harry Potter series, but he won’t.”
  • “His official job is to interpret that panel of blinking green lights behind him that only he can understand.”
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greatscottimafangirl

Vulcans don’t lie.

Spock, entering the council room strangely late: Sorry for being late, I was doing… The Captain.
Bones:…
Checkov:…
Uhura:…
Sulu:…
Scotty:…
Kirk, rushing in the room: You were supposed to say “I was doing STUFF”
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trek-tracks

Can you imagine what it must be like to be an enemy of the Federation and get involved in a fight and suddenly look up to see Captain Kirk’s ass just flying right at your face

“This is the last thing I see before I die,” you think, in the split-second before impact

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cptn-jtk

i love the trope that the whole crew think that jim and spock are dating but have u considered: jim and spock actually are dating and the whole crew have no idea even though it’s blatantly obvious like oh they spend all their free time together? important for command teams to have a close relationship.

holding hands in public? there must be some other cultural significance between friends on vulcan and jim is just indulging spock. what a nice guy.

they sometimes share a bed? good to see that they’re comfortable enough in their friendship to do so.

they share a room on shore leave? what an efficient way to save money. we should all start doing that.

they have a private reservation in a very fancy restaurant? mate dates. guys night. just 2 dudes being guys.

spend all their free time at the other’s side when they were injured and confined to sickbay? good to see they care so much for each other. in fact i say we all chip in and get jim a get well soon card. do u think spock already has one.

jim met spock’s family? wow, no way I’d even consider meeting chekov’s family. guy has like 37.5 cousins.

ensign elliot saw them kissing on the observation deck? i wish i could be so close to my friends wow how do they do it.

anyways i love the idea of a stupidly oblivious crew and to summarise:

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incorrect-star-trek
Kirk: Go big or go home!
Bones: I am begging you, Jim. For once in your life, go home. Please. Just this once. Go home.
Kirk, whispering: I'm going big.
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