A fae being stands before you.

“Every day you will receive one thousand dollars in your bank account. But every time you lift a glass to your lips to take a drink, you will hit your front teeth on the first try. Every. Time. Do you accept this deal?”

Yes. Quite easily so. You see, making deals with the Fae is down to very specific word choices. They shot themselves in the foot with their own words here while making this deal, even though they thought their word choice was so very, very clever. The Fae specifically uses the word “glass”. This, in turn, limits the person that agrees to the deal to the “hit your front teeth on the first try every time” to only be hitting their teeth on the first try every time if they drink out of a glass. If the person decides to drink out of a container that isn’t made out of glass, like, say for example… A paper cup. Or a soda can. A plastic bottle. Styrofoam cup. Yeti Tumbler. Their own hand. A bowl. Who knows, a person can get hella creative when they realize there are ways to get around the rules without actually breaking them. So. A Fae being stands before me, and offers me this deal. I smile, wide and unassuming, offer my hand to shake. “I accept this deal and all of it’s terms unconditionally.”

I was in a swing accident as a child and lost my front teeth, the ones in my head are implants. That glass is gonna WORK to hit some Mound of medical waste in Tacoma, Washington

Also like. It says lift a glass. What if you leave it on the table and use a straw? I feel like that’s a work-around if you’re like at a fancier restaurant that only uses glasses too. Which you might be a lot if you’re getting $1000 a day.

Just saw someone ask for someone's irl age in their bio for "safety" or some shit and--

Friends, I'm telling you: this is the internet. There should be no expectation of access to your personal information.

Say nothing! Or if that doesn't work for you, fucking lie. Use a pseud! Say you live in a snail's shell off the coast of New Brunswick! Answer every info-gathering question asked of you with a different, less comprehensible answer! Tell anyone who says you've got to put your real age in your bio that you're 85, ta ever so, and they're very rude to bother you with this!

But your first step to internet safety is to say nothing.

Make it harder for bad actors to find you, manipulate you, or steal all your shit.

The good actors won't fucking ask.

I recently sent someone a nice ask and have been wondering if it'll be answered, then remembered all the nice asks I've gotten on this blog that I never answered because they were so so nice and lovely I just had to keep them like treasured letters and postcards.

They're just kind of forever part of this account, devoured by the inbox.

Please know if you ever sent me an ask I didn't answer, I basically loved it so much I had to eat it.

(sometimes I will cough it back up to reread, but mostly it's just a part of me)

in any case, if you're in the same boat of wondering whether a well meaning ask you sent will be answered, pls consider: maybe the person you sent it to eated it?

things to update after a legal name change!

*Please add to this list if you can think of anything else!!!

#1 thing I notice trans people forget to change after just a social name change is their voicemail recording!

Internal job access to everything and various applications such as zoom, teams, outlook, adobe, etc if that’s applicable to you

I cannot overstate how vital that is.

My organization, you can change your user ID/login info after a legal name change. And you need to rerequest/update basically everything because our systems don’t carry over permissions from the previous ID.

HR isn’t involved with granting access for a lot of things, just removing it so you need to get a different team to help with all.

And if your name doesn’t match our internal records, we can’t help. Like we do ID verification and if that is updated but the internal system isn’t, we cannot help until we get approval from HR and legal and a couple of other teams or until it is updated.

apparently people are now purchasing thick water to make slimes with because of a trend on tiktok

thick water is for disabled people who can’t swallow properly. stores usually have extremely limited supplies of it.

please don’t buy thick water for fun or to make slime with. it’s literally the only way some disabled people can drink anything. It’s not a fucking toy

I’m torn about this. Don’t we normally encourage folks to buy accessibility products to teach stores to carry more of it? Like, if it’s the last one on the shelf maybe leave it for the intended buyer but if there’s a shelf-full and you’re buying one? Idk

NO!!!!!!!! PLEASE DO NOT DO THIS

there are EXTREMELY FEW DISABLED PEOPLE WHO NEED THIS PRODUCT. A statistically TINY group of people who have to go store to store to buy it in bulk because they don’t keep more than 4 on the shelf

It’s not like a weighted blanket or compression socks. You won’t increase production by buying them all from the store because this product is literally so little-used that most people in the notes don’t know what it is and have never heard of it

also it’s WATER!!!!! WATER THAT VERY SPECIFIC DISABLED PEOPLE NEED TO DRINK!!! WHO WILL GO WITHOUT DRINKING IF THEY CANT GET IT.

YOU ARE 70% WATER!!!! IMAGINE NOT BEING ABLE TO DRINK ANY AND HOW DISTRESSING AND CRUEL THAT IS

DO. NOT. FUCKING. BUY IT. PLEASE.

ITS NOT WORTH IT. YOU WILL NOT SLEEP WELL AT NIGHT KNOWING YOU TOOK SOMEONE’S ABILITY TO DRINK AWAY IN THE NAME OF MAKING SLIME.

I've noticed as someone with physical disabilities and celiac, that while making mobility aids more accessible is generally a benefit to those who do need it, the opposite appears to happen when it's applied to food. Because of fad gluten free dieters, gluten free food has actually become MORE UNSAFE for people who have actual celiac. The manufacturers are catering to the fad dieters, not the people who actually have to rely on gluten free food for health.

More and more often I'm buying gluten free food that look legit but then I get home and see that I've missed "made on equipment that processes wheat" warnings on it. Or if I'm ordering groceries online, it'll be labeled as gluten free only for the box/jar/whatever to have warnings on it in person. In one obscene case that I talk often about, I nearly bought "celiac certified" ramen that was made from BARLEY! Meanwhile the manufacturers of these dangerous foods marketed as gluten free are still jacking up the price for a criminally low fraction of the amount you'd find in regular food. This was happening before covid and has just gotten worse.

Speaking of, at the beginning of covid I went hungry even when my SNAP was plentiful because people panic bought all the gluten free food. I couldn't find anything in multiple stores. I don't know how high the rate is in my city for celiac, but I'm still suspicious that this was due to the celiac population.

I've been told by epileptics that the same thing is happening because of fad keto dieters. Food that is mislabeled as ketogenic for the fad dieters is dangerous for epileptics to eat because the nutritional ratio is off and it's screwing up their careful and strict diet that's supposed to be so they can control their goddamn SEIZURES.

Tl;dr: don't touch specialized diets if you don't need them. You're not making them more accessible to people who need them, you're making the food manufacters cater to people like YOU instead of the people the diets claim to help and making it even more dangerous for us to eat.

(And if all you care about is money, know that you're wasting it on shitty food in the first place which makes no fucking sense to me)

A different perspective on how a very little “something,” can do a lot over time.                          

Thank you, I needed that.

“Don’t wait until the last minute to do your assignments!”

listen. I don’t. But I am always trapped in a vicious cycle.

And the only thing that breaks this cycle is the dread of an imminent deadline

Very ADHD

also-

marine biology is so scary because it’s such a small field. i was giving a talk on cetaceans and afterward a woman approached me with her husband and she said, “you did very well. [husband’s name] actually pioneered the research and published the first paper on that. We were very impressed by you.”

Which is such a scientific interpretation/public education win I will cherish forever but also for the rest of my life any time I give a talk I will be haunted by the knowledge that the world’s leading expert who literally discovered/invented the topic might be in the room,

which is like, the opposite of what you’re supposed to do for stage fright. In fact I never used to experience stage fright but now I will.

There are limitations to the benefits of being a marine biologist

Time's calling y'all out. Including me.

Get your rest, folks.

i’m going to kdxjdhdjhddjjdhs

TWO??? Having a private jet at all is bad enough on its own but why the fuck does she need two of them???

This confirms, at least to me, how extremely feasible it would be for her to trade in at least one plane for a luxury rail car. Almost all of the travel she does is within the country, much of it to and from places that already have railways connecting them.

I'm just saying, if a city was asked to invest in a railway to get Taylor Swift to perform there, we would very quickly have a more fully functioning railway system.

Miss Swift probably does not agree with me about having a private railcar being cooler than a private jet, but it would have a much better impact on our environment and infrastructure.

fuck it homebrew boop button. reblog this post to boop the person you reblogged from.

Haha get loved unconditionally idiot. Get absolutely fuckin cherished. Lol you're about to be hugged so hard. I appreciate you deeply as a person, what you gonna do about it? Nothing lmao

Hey can we queers please remember that the rural queer experience has unique challenges thanks

Coming out is different when you know if you come out to one person you risk the whole town knowing. Coming out is different when religion is entwined in your entire community. Being queer is different when you can't trust that your doctor or therapist will stay confidential. Being queer is different when conversion therapy is subtle and normalized. Transitioning is different when there aren't gender clinics or gender therapists for 50 miles. School is different when other kids are put at risk by being seen with you. Can we stop acting like there aren't queer people living in rural areas and start supporting them

$20 to rent a movie online for 48 hours i need yall to get so real right now bc that is insane. “that’s the average cost” which is a problem!! if im paying $20 i better get the film on dvd to have and watch forever

and before i get the “what about seeing ig at the movie theater” comments

i dont have a 60 foot screen and high tech surround sound audio and fancy seats at home. i will pay $20 to watch a movie once with friends for the experience in the theater. i will absolutely not pay $20 to watch a movie on my laptop lmfao

£15/$20 is the price of a fucking DVD. That you keep. I'm not paying that much to rent fuck all, you must be joking.

Are all of you really too young to remember how it used to be before corporations stopped selling you things that became yours in perpetuity after you paid for them and started charging you rent for everything?

I recently had surgery, and at the time I came home, I had both my cat and one of my grandma's cats staying with me.

- Within hours of surgery, I wake up from a nap to my cat gently sniffing at my incisions with great alarm.

- I was not allowed to shower the first day after surgery, and the cats, seeing that The Large Cat is not observing its cleaning ritual, decided I must be gravely disabled and compensated by licking all the exposed skin on my arms, face, and legs.

- I currently have to sleep with a pillow over my abdomen because my cat insists on climbing on top of me and covering my incisions with her body while I sleep (which is very sweet but not exactly comfortable without the pillow). She also lays across me facing my bedroom door, presumably on guard for attackers who may try to harm me while I'm sleeping and injured.

That's love. 🐈‍⬛🐈❤️

cats are so very unclear on what is wrong with us but they want to help

Last time I had a really bad migraine my cat curled herself round my head and purred sympathetically, and actually stayed there through two of her normal mealtimes. It wasn't until I was able to stagger to the kitchen and grab a protein bar for myself that she gave a very small, polite miaow to the effect of "while you're up... could you get something for me too?"

dang, an actual useful and real "life hack" instead of those insane videos of people doing arts and crafts with a background of copyright free music