In fifth grade a boy tried to impress me by swallowing a whole tadpole live and I punched him so hard that he puked and the tadpole was fine.

I kept it in a terrarium and it became a normal 🐸 despite everything. About a year afterward (I thought) it died, so I sadly put it in a shoebox in the shed until the ground thawed enough for a proper funeral but when that day came I opened the box and the frog was fine.

This is funnier than anything I have ever said.

I don’t even drink tea but i NEED these Van Gogh Tea Cups in my life... They even come with MATCHING SPOONS oh my goodness

I need these but for coffee

As someone obsessed with Van Gogh I have the whole set and they're truly mini masterpieces 🥺

If you want to throw Van Gogh Tea Parties you can get them HERE by the way! The full set was 160 bucks or you can get just one for 29 bucks

YOU HAD ME AT MATCHING SPOONS

Friendly reminder:

Blacklist 'esc', 'esc 2021' and 'eurovision' if you don't want to see my reblogs tonight :)

prayer circle for the italians getting ready to be fucked by the esc jury votes this saturday

I don’t know if anyone has ever done this before but, here ya go… The Different Types of Fanfiction! 

I probably left a few out, but these are the most common, compared to their base fiction’s canon plot. Enjoy! XD

The crack fic is enough for a reblog.

then there are these favs….  ;)

always reblog

Um yes this is genius. 

I don’t know if anyone has ever done this before but, here ya go… The Different Types of Fanfiction! 

I probably left a few out, but these are the most common, compared to their base fiction’s canon plot. Enjoy! XD

The crack fic is enough for a reblog.

then there are these favs….  ;)

always reblog

Um yes this is genius. 

THREE MONTHS TIL 2020 I CANT BELIEVE IM ALIVE FOR THIS

ONE DAY LEFT?

only haters will say this is edited

cant believe we’ll never know who ended homophobia because he was anon

i turned on the light in the dining room but Tubby had been sleeping in a chair and it woke her up and she was Not Pleased

yes

however we recently got her a new ceramic fountain that better suits her aesthetic

and her own fainting couch

but she still prefers a good lap whenever possible

@unpretty what is Ms. Tubby’s full name if it is not Tubby?

Tubbitha

reblog for  Tubbitha

a princess.

It’s so fucking weird to see Tubby on my dash from just like a random unrelated blog I follow. That’s just my best friends’ cat. I commissioned a plate painted with her likeness.

THIS IS THE FUNNIEST FUCKING RESPONSE IVE EVER GOTTEN ON ANY OF MY POSTS EVER

The Lincoln Assassination is really just wild if you think about it for a moment. The younger brother of one of the most famous actors in the country- himself a famous actor and heartthrob in his own right- killed the President in a theatre and yelled “Sic semper tyrannis,” a line often associated with Brutus, a character that his brother had famously played.

Like, imagine if Liam Hemsworth killed the Prime Minister of Australia at a red carpet movie premiere or something and yelled “I went for the head,” and Chris had to leave the Avengers press tour to tell everyone, “I swear I had nothing to do with this.” Imagine how weird that would be.

…a whole history major and yet this post is the first time I’ve fully appreciated the weirdness of the Lincoln assassination